This is dedicated to Zaynela...Hi friend :)
Travis' car ----->
The days passed by with a breeze and before I knew it I was shutting off my 8 a.m. alarm and rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I sat on the bed for a few minutes before dragging my ass up and going into the shower. Resting my forehead against the tile, I close my eyes, the dream I had immediately flooding my brain.
It was about Seth, like most of my dreams are. I dreamt that I saw him again and I didnât know what to do so I ran. The worst part of the dream was that I was trying to run away from him and everywhere I turned he was there, calling my name. He called my name in a begging and pleading voice. It broke my heart and just when I was about to go to him I woke up. It took me forever to get back to sleep but I did eventually, wondering if that dream was about and if it was a sign of some sort.
Stepping out of the shower, I wrap a towel around my waist and proceeded to the kitchen. I took two eggs and four fat slices of bacon from the refrigerator. Reaching up on top of the fridge, I grab the bag with the bagels and took one out. By the time I was done making my breakfast I realized I was running out of time. I jogged to my closet, not even having to look long before deciding on short grey harem pants, red and black Retro Jordan 21, and a black Gucci shirt. Spraying my favorite cologne and some mousse for my hair, I was good to go.
Looking inside my bag, I made sure I had my notebook and my laptop. I then grabbed my sandwich and a Starbucks Coffee Frappuccino from the fridge. Everything Starbucks reminded me of him but that was one memory I didnât mind because it was perfect. Remembering it used to hurt but now I like that memory. It baffles me why thinking about it didnât make my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach.
Inside the elevator, I heard someone yell for me to hold the door. From the kindness of my poor little heart, I held the door. The blonde head stepped in without so much of a thank you or a smile of gratitude. She was on her phone yelling and from what sheâs saying her boyfriend is in big trouble.
She exited the elevator on the first floor and I did in the parking garage where my sexy car was waiting for me. I was on my way to school and done with my sandwich and drink. I made it to school considerably early, given that I thought I was late, thanks to no traffic.
There were five people seated when I entered the classroom. Two of them had their head down and the other three were on their phone, iPad, and laptop. I took my favorite seat, the back center seat where Iâm basically hidden from the professor.
Just as I sat, the kid in front of me raised his head up and stretched. My heart leapt in my chest from the familiarity of his physique. Shaking my head, I chuckled and rid myself from those silly thoughts. Thereâs no way in hell weâd end up in the same place.
I couldnât stop staring at the back of his head and I didnât stop until I heard someone say, âGood morning everyone.â That voice belonged to the professor; I donât even remember his name. âSeth?â The professor asked. The kidâs head in front of me snapped up at the mention of the name. No! No! No! No! No! It canât be my Seth. Nah, it canât be.
âDr. Gomez, I didnât know you were teaching this courseâ Itâs him. Oh my God. This canât be happening to me. My whole body went numb at the sound of his voice. How did this happen? Is this some kind of sick joke? Iâve always thought God was hilarious because letâs face it, he let some hilarious, ironic shit happen to people who deserve it. But me, what did I do to deserve this?
I was barely breathing. My mind was foggy and I didnât know what to feel or think. A million discombobulating thoughts swam through my mind like a school of fish. Suddenly itâs as if the air conditioning system wasnât running and the heat was on a high 90degrees. My bodyâs perspiration was out of control and sweating is not attractive. Get it together Travis! Get it the fuck together! Heâs just a boy. Heâs just a boy!
Why am I freaking out? Itâs Seth. He left me without an explanation. Heâs the one with the boyfriend and being fucking happy while Iâm miserable and canât get over him. Itâs been this way for a year! How am I suppose to get over him now when heâs the first person Iâm going to see when I get to school to remind me of why Iâm unhappy and so withdrawn from everyone and everything.
I canât do this to myself again. I will not allow myself to get close to him.
âAlright, so thatâs enough about me...â The professor trailed off when his phone started ringing. âAs I was saying, my daughterâs in the hospital so I have to take this.â Okay, what the fuck just happened? This is precisely why it isnât good to zone out in class. Everyone had arrived and apparently the professor had introduced himself and said a shitload. Oh, according to my watch, class started seventeen minutes ago. âOkay,â he said, walking back inside.
âHereâs what I want you to do for me. Listen first. Everyone in the first seat is going to turn aroundânot now,â he added after everyone sitting in the front seat started turning around, apparently they didnât know what âlisten firstâ meant. The professor rolled his eyes then began talking. âAfter everyone in the front seat turns, then the person in every other seat turn around. The point of this is youâre going to introduce yourself to the person behind you and tell them a little about yourself. Like your major, where youâre from and if you want to get personal thatâs fine too. Youâre going to do this until the end of class. Your assignment for tonight is to write an introductory paper about your partner. Itâs due the next time we meet. This is so that you guys can know at least one person in the class by the end of the semester and if you miss a day you have a friend to get notes from. Itâs also a way for me to get to know each and every one of you through someone elseâs eyesâ¦we all know we can be vain and cocky. Chop-chop!â Oh this little fucker! Now heâs going to know Iâm here.
Before I could take a deep breath to prepare myself, Seth turned around and it was as if the world stopped moving. He was even more beautiful than the last time I saw him. His hair was much shorter and he had a scruff going on that made him look older and at the same time manage to hold that boyish charm I always admired. His eyes were bluer too. Itâs like everything about him was magnified. How am I supposed to move on from him if immediately after seeing him I want him againâbut he doesnât want me. This is not how this is supposed to be happening. Itâs all wrong. Everything is all wrong. Iâm not supposed to be feeling like this right now. Iâm supposed to be angry. Iâm supposed to hate him. Iâm supposed to not want to have anything to do with him, and here I am. Thinking about how beautiful he is instead of the fact that he left me and he broke my heart. Iâm pathetic. Iâm one big ball of confusion and contradictions. Suddenly, I wanted to cry.
Keep it together. Keep it together. Donât get caught up in how you feel. You have to protect yourself, protect your heart.
âT-T-Travis,â he stuttered. His voice even changed and had a huskier tone to it.
âSorry Iâm late,â someone said. We both looked up at the same time. His fucking boyfriend just walked in. he scanned the classroom for a few minutes then his eyes landed on Seth. They seem to share a moment before he waved and Seth waved back.
Seth turned around and smiled at me but I didnât smile back. Turns out all I needed was a physical reminder of why Iâve been so fucking miserable. âH-howâve you been?â He asked timidly. The look on his face told me he regretted asking that.
Now, I plastered a smile on my but it was fake sarcastic one. Like the one that Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries pulls off so well. âYou know, despite seeing the guy that ripped my heart outâthe same one that made me wanted to get away from everything back home, mind you, Iâm doing great! Oh wait; letâs not forget the fact that he left me without a rhyme or reason after I thought he felt the same thing I did. Oh, but I suppose a Facebook status saying âIâm sorry, Tâ should count for something.â
To my surprise, he looked me dead in the eyes and tears just came streaming down. I wanted to cry too. Not because I saw him crying but because it hit me like a ton of bricks how fucking terrible this is whole situation is and I thought I was getting better and changing things in my life that made me feel the way I have been for the past year. But this was just the icing on the cake. Thatâs just what I needed.
Sethâs jaw clenched, he bit his bottom lip, wiped the tears from his eyes and walked out of the classroom. It made me even angrier when his boyfriend went after him. Why did he go after him? Itâs not like he saw that he was upset or whatnot. Nobody even heard our conversations. They were in their own world conversing with each other and getting to know their new âfriendâ.
I took my phone out of my pocket and sent a six-part text to Nigel. It was basically me ranting about my little showdown with Seth and how pissed and angry I am. I didnât know it was possible but Iâm hurting all over again. I thought I experienced all the hurt there is that I could have felt, but, no. I hadnât even realized I was telling Nigel as much as I did until I hit send and the damn message had so many parts. I know he wouldnât respond until later when he woke up for his afternoon class so I put my phone back.
Seth came back with his boyfriend glaring at me. I was so tempted to flip him off and tell him to go fuck himself. I wonder what Seth told him?
âWe already know each other so you donât have to talk to me for the end of the periodâ¦Iâll just leave you alone,â he placed a piece of paper on my desk. âThatâs my number if you want to ask me anything about the paper that you donât know.â Fine by me!
When I didnât say anything or made a move to take up the paper, he shrugged and turned around in his seat, slumping down with his shoulders scrunched up to his neck. His boyfriend looked at him, Seth shrugged again and his boyfriend smiled sadly at him. His boyfriend eyes turned to me but this time he didnât give me a dirty look, he just looked indifferent. What the fuck did Seth say to him?
I counted down the seconds until class was over and when it did I grabbed my stuff and bolted out. Finding the nearest bathroom, I looked myself in a stall and silently cried my eyes out. What am I going to do?
A/N
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