Piazzolla Music.
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Grabbing the lunches, I walk to the elevators out of the cafeteria and head to the thirty-third floor, excited for the coming half hour or so. I get to eat with Azrael again.
It's true to say that we had plenty of meals together back at his home in Alaska, and also that one night we went to the Chinese restaurant that served delicious food, but this is truly an occasion where it's only the two of us. No distractions. That was splendid, and I'm sure if every part of my could remember, that's all in my life that would matter to my being when I die.
Exiting the elevator I walk over to the office doors at the far end of the hall I'm so used to. I wave and say hi to Levi who has his door open and we smiles back and waves. Stacking the two lunch boxes on top of each other, I knock, and then enter after I hear Azrael's usual response.
Inside, there's different music playing from earlier. It sounds to be played by wind instruments, and is slightly merry. The tempo is upbeat and is whimsical. Azrael looks over form his desk, and waves, but he speaks on the phone at his desk.
"Yes, that would I think be appropriate," he says into the receiver, and then waits a moment before talking again, saying, "if you could do that Jane, I'd be very grateful."
Another pause, and then he says, "Thank you. I will talk to you later. I have a lunch date and I'd like to accommodate it now."
He then hangs up and then rubs his hands together as he looks over at me with a smile.
"My hero," he says with a smile, "has arrived."
I laugh, and walk up to his desk and set down the two lunches, and take a seat at an office chair that has been placed next to the desk. It usually is the one that Marco sits in when he comes by and he gets help from Azrael. You don't usually see that in the well-to-do. Taking time for the next generation. If only I had a kid with Azrael, he'd be a great parent.
I have to pull my brain out of day-dreaming a future in a house with kids running around with a finger of Azrael's with my ring on it so that I can concentrate on the meal. That desire of mine snatches my mind like a snare. Though, with the delicious lunch I have help to return to reality and eat with Azrael before me The lunch is not sandwiches, but hotdogs. Each one comes with two and there's plenty of ketchup and mustard with relish to eat it with. Other compartments of the lunch box have potato salad, fresh cut salad, and a blueberry muffin as dessert. I also grabbed some plastic spoons and forks from the cafeteria, so there's no issue in trying to eat the food that can't be held in the hand.
"It certainly looks appetizing," say Azrael as he opens the box and gazes at the food.
"It really does," I say, and we start to eat.
"Are you alright," I ask as I swallow my bite, "after having returned to Alaska and your house?"
Azrael takes a moment to swallow his bite and contemplate my question. Then he answers.
"I think that at first, when I returned to my family's house," says Azrael after he wipes his mouth with a napkin, "there was some tension in me. That much was pretty obvious. But that gradually was able to ease a certain amount."
"It was?" I ask curiously.
"Oh yes," replies Azrael with a nod, "I at one point did not talk with everyone. Because of...issues. But there was more communication between my family and I. So that's good."
I have to remind myself strictly that even if I know Azrael's disturbed past, he hasn't directly disclosed it to me. That is, I have to act like I don't know it, even if I do. It does make for moments that conversations are slow as I try to sort out anything that would blurt my omniscience. When thinking about the implications of telling Azrael what I do know though, it all but increases my focus to create my ignorance. It would never to do have anybody but Azrael show me that facet of himself, and have him know that his is the one who introduced it to me.
"Do you think you will go back there?" I ask curiously.
Azrael takes another moment to answer, as he's thinking of one and also chewing on he bite he took from his hot dog.
"I don't think I will go back there unless there's two things that happen. One which is I manage to get some kind of grit in my mouth to face them alone. Or if you come along. I think I'll invite you next time I go back there."
"D-do you think you'll go back there soon?" I stutter out as I again am told that I'm a special presence.
"I'm not sure," says Azrael as he glances back at the computer, "there are many other things that may determine my answer."
"Such as what?" I ask curiously.
Azrael looks back at me, and then he smiles.
"You'll know eventually."
We finish up eating lunch, and soon I go back to my own office to work. I enjoyed the meal with Azrael, and he also said on my way out the he liked it too and that I could stop by for lunch anytime, as he enjoys my company. I smiled and said that I would definitely stop by with somewhat a calm demeaner. But inside, I was screaming and shouting with happiness.
Working through the afternoon, I finish some of the work that he gave me today. The emails I clean up first and for the remaining hour I have I just look through the documents that were in need of reading. The clock on the wall moves forward in hours and the day outsides turns closer to night.
The January day outside is very cold, but light shines down on the inch or so of snow that is present and shines off where it remains. on the roads there's no snow, and some of the bare branches of the trees are darker as they are wet from melted snow, and sparkle as if diamonds were thrown on the bare limbs.
I didn't think that I would work out in the gym because I got back from a trip, and also there's no clue that Azrael will as well. I didn't see any of the usual sports gear and bag on his couch behind his desk, so I'm thinking he's taking it slow today and heading home as well.
Later, Azrael stop by my of office and says he's heading home. I smile and say that I will and the the work he gave me will be done, and then he smiles and leaves. Looking at the clock, it's close to three. The sun is starting to get low, and in maybe two hours it'll be dark. Darker clouds that can be seen in the departing light on the edge of the brim of heaven indicate maybe more snow tonight. Or if it's not as chilled as the air there could be slush, or rain. Either way, I'm inclined to head home.
Packing up, I shoulder my backpack and grab my coat, and head out. Riding the elevator down, my coat is put on inside and soon I'm walking to the metro to head home to my apartment. The evening crowd is starting to head home as well, but I don't catch most of it and sit down as I take the fifteen minute ride home.
Reaching my station, it's a lonely walk home. Reaching my abode, recall that Azrael will send people over to improve the measures, so I'll have to get ready for those.
After I enter my apartment and start to settle in by shrugging off my coat and shoes, as well as changing out of my suit and into something else, I settle down on my couch. Tonight's dinner I'll have to figure out, but one thing that won't need reminding is my singular presence. Glancing at my dinner table, a circular one of light wood, I think I could sit two people.
One seat for me, the other for him...
My phone that I slipped into my pocket when I change buzzes and I pull it out to see a phone call from Mom. I smile, and think she's probably called to follow up on a text message she sent celebrating the new year with me.
"Hey, sweetie," she says through the phone, and I hear other people in the background, probably the whole fam-band.
"Hey, Mom," I reply as I laugh.
"First off, Happy New Year!" she says, and I swear I hear Dad say it as well in the background.
"Happy New Year to you as well," I reply, "how's everything down in Texas?"
"It's alright. Not too cold down here. How was Alaska?' asks Mom.
"Ooh, it was cold," I say with a chuckle, "you'd think that you were walking in a fish monger's freezer."
"That bad, huh?" says Dad as he shuffles closer to the phone. I'm guessing I'm on speaker in Mom's hand in the living room. They're all probably sitting on the couches and enjoying some quiet time to unwind.
"Yeah," I reply.
"Glad I didn't go," says Dad with a chuckle, "so how was the family over there?"
"They were alright," I say as I recall that I got treated nicely.
"Did anybody cook better than me?" asks Dad.
"Well, Azrael's Mom was pretty good," I say.
"Man! Competition with future in-laws!" says Dad.
Shelly really isn't Azrael's mother though...
"Did you have a nice Christmas?" asks Dia as she also comes over to the phone and talk.
"I did," I say as I recall the holidays, "Azrael and I made some gingerbread houses."
"Were they good?"
"Oh yeah. The best."
"Do you have a picture?"
"I'll send it to you after I hang up."
"We should have done that," says Mallord, who must've joined in without saying anything until now, "that would've been fun."
"We'll do that next year. When Hogarth brings the kiddo home," says Dad.
"Yeah, then we'd also not have to eat turkey for so long. Turkey for two days is alright, but any more and that's just a fiasco," says Dia.
"Does Azrael eat that much?" asks Mom to me.
"I'd say he eats a fair amount," I say as I think back to him in Alaska.
"Then he'd help in cleaning up the turkey. Not to mention the other food," says Mom.
"And I get to serve him dinner too, so I'll look forward to that."
"Are you making any progress with Azrael?" asks Mom to me, "Have you taken him out on a date?"
"Well, progress has been made, slightly," I say, "though I don't know if it's on the same level as a date being acquired."
"What progress have you made?"
I swallow once and try to think how I should disclose what I learned about the dark shadow that Azrael fears and has on his back. This'll be difficult to covey.
"So, um," I say as I think of a way and start to go through it, "I found out why Azrael doesn't like to call you Dad."
"What is it?" asks Dad.
"Well," I say and take a breath before continuing, "his father...is also his grandfather."
There's a moment of silence on the other end. I think I hear somebody gasp in realization.
"What does that mean?" asks Dad as I hear him shift where he sits on the couch.
"Um," I think as I try to avoid a word that is synonymous with 'interbreeding' but find difficulty in doing so, "so, he's not suspect to any hereditary problems, but the legal stance of it would characterize the action of his father as unacceptable."
"Lord," I hear Mallord say, and I'm guessing he's realized what I've said.
"Poor thing," says Mom, and she sounds emphatic to Azrael.
"I still don't get what you're saying," says Dia.
"I don't either," says Dad.
"Azrael's the result of incest," says Beth.
"How?" says Dad, shocked and I hear him slightly mad at the possible thought that anybody would say that about Azrael: he cares about his kiddo a great deal.
"His father also shares the role of grandfather. That can only mean one thing," says Beth, and I hear Mallord make a sound of agreeance.
"Iâis that true?" asks Dad with a stutter to me.
"Yes," I say darkly, and I hear Dia gasp.
"Then, it would make sense that he's afraid of that word," says Mom, "maybe it's best that you don't have him say that, dear."
"Uh, well," says Dad as he thinks for a moment, "I-I guess that it'd be best that I just have him call me sir."
"Oh, but Dad," I say, and I know I have his attention, "I think that maybe, in the future, he'll be able to overcome that aspect of himself. In fact, he's starting to maybe come to terms with that reality. As, I'm maybe starting to become closer to him, and maybe I can help him in overcoming that."
"Oh, well," says Dad unsurely, but then gathers himself before saying, "I'm counting on you Hogarth! You're going to have to help him out. I'm not having my kiddo call me 'sir' whenever I meet him. That's too awkward!"
"Gotcha!" I say with a smile and laugh, and I hear it mirrored on the other side of the phone.
"Well," says Mom, "it looks like you got your work cut out for you, Hogarth."
"It sure is," I say.
"Well, I think it'd be best to let you go for the evening. You'll probably need to sort out dinner by now, so I'll end this here," says Mom.
"Alright, well, I'll try to call you guys in due time," I say.
"Sounds good. Love you."
"Love you too," I say, and then hang up.
Relaxing back on the couch I sit on, I take a breath in and out of my chest. I moved one step forward today by gaining the daily opportunity of eating lunch with Azrael. But I also got another hefty weight I will have to hold until I can discard it: after I become a substantial presence in Azrael's life.
Though, I think I'll be able to do so. I've been applying myself consistently and have made progress by doing so. My continues efforts have crystalized into a laudable result. And it's proven to be helpful.
So now, I just need to continue that, and better my efforts. That'll lead to my success without doubt.