Kevin was nursing a beer, alone at a table for two, while waiting for his date to show up. It was his fifth first date in three weeks, and none of them had gone well yet. He met this girl, Kathryn, at Randall's goodbye party. They hadn't interacted much that night, but a few days later he got a text from an unknown number asking if he was Randall's old boss. It seemed Kathryn asked Randall for his number, and they had texted a few times since. She had texted him an hour ago asking him to meet her tonight.
Kathryn was running late. Kevin was trying not to look at his watch every two minutes, but his fear of being stood up was mounting. He always tried to arrive early for social events. Her last text said she was on her way, so he took a few deep breaths and tried to relax.
The door to the bar opened, and he saw Kathryn step inside. She looked around the bar, clearly searching for him, so he stood up and waved. She caught his eye and blinked a few times before heading towards him. He noticed she looked unsteady on her feet.
"Hi, Kathryn. Good to see you again."
"Hi! Yeah, you too! Sorry I'm late, I was out with the girls from work and then getting a cab was a nightmare."
"Oh, don't worry about it. Have a seat." They both sat and Kevin could feel the awkwardness in the air. Kathryn reached for the cocktail menu and started talking a mile a minute about her cab ride until the waiter came over.
After giving her order, she disappeared into the restroom. Kevin watched her stagger into the door frame on the way in, and was sure she was already quite drunk.
When she came back, Kevin asked if she wanted to get some food, but Kathryn shook her head and downed half of her drink. Kevin felt like a fish out of water with no idea how to proceed. Kathryn though, just started talking again.
She was very animatedly explaining all the drama from the girl's night out earlier, and all Kevin had to do was smile and nod, making the occasional surprised noise. He had no idea what she was talking about.
Fifteen minutes later, her drink was gone and she finally seemed to run out of story. Kevin took the last sip of his beer, and looked up to see Kathryn pulling her sweater up over her head.
"What are you doing?" He spluttered.
"Ugh, its just so hot in here. It's fine, I've got a tank top on. Oh, whoops!" The tank top was stuck inside the sweater and she shoved it back down haphazardly, but not before nearly everyone got a clear view of her bra. There were two guys sitting at the bar openly staring at her, and one subtly giving Kevin a thumbs up. He cringed, while she tried to flatten her staticky hair back down.
"Okay, how about I go grab us both some waters. Sit tight." He got up and hurried to the bar. Passing the guys who were still staring at her, he whispered, "show's over guys. Close your mouths and leave her alone." He didn't stop to hear their responses, but at least they stopped staring.
He ordered their waters and paid the tab. As he headed back to the table, Kathryn was looking at her phone. He could see her swiping through tinder, and she looked up guiltily when he placed the water down.
"Oh thanks!" She grabbed the glass and took a long drink, then fished for an ice cube with her fingers. She dragged it along the back of her neck and around to the front of her chest. Her face was flushed, and Kevin could feel worry starting to gnaw at him.
"Hey, Kathryn?" He waited for her to open her eyes and look at him, and noticed she was having trouble focusing, "are you feeling okay?"
"Oh, yeah I'm totally fine, just warm." Her smile came out crooked and she tipped forward slightly when she waved him off.
"It's much cooler outside, how about we step out for a minute?"
"That's probably a good idea." She stood up shakily and grabbed her purse. Kevin grabbed her sweater and followed her to the door. Luckily, there was a bench not far away, and she sat down heavily. Kevin came up beside her and laid her belongings down.
"I'm sorry, Jared."
There was a pause. "I'm Kevin."
"Shit. That's awkward."
"Did you think you've been texting Jared this whole time?"
"Uh, yeah. I guess Randall gave me the wrong number."
Kevin's heart plummeted. He let out a long, slow breath before saying anything.
"That explains why you looked so confused when you first got here, I guess."
"Yeah, sorry. I was a bit thrown."
There was another awkward pause, but Kevin was glad to see her colouring looked better. "Do you want me to call you a cab or something?"
"No, I don't want to completely ruin your night. Can we go get McDonald's?"
"Food seems like a good idea. This way." He turned away while she grabbed her belongings and followed after him.
They only had to walk about five blocks, but after three Kevin could see her shivering beside him and forced her to put the sweater back on. The date was feeling less like a date, and more like babysitting.
Kathryn ordered a combination of nuggets, fries, a milkshake and apple pie, while Kevin had a cheeseburger. By the time they had finished, the tension between them had diminished, and Kevin felt they were actually having a pretty good time together, making jokes and easy conversation. Kathryn certainly looked improved from when she first arrived at the bar, as the food had absorbed at least some of the alcohol in her stomach.
He waited with her until her cab arrived, and she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before she got in. Right before she closed the door, she called out to him one last time.
"You're a good guy Kevin. I actually had a good time tonight." And with one last smile, she closed the door and the cab drove away.
Kevin turned the opposite way to head to the subway. About five minutes later his phone vibrated with a text message.
Kathryn: OMG. It wasn't the guy I thought it was. Randall gave me the number for the wrong boss! I'm going to kill him! I'm so embarrassed.
Swearing to himself, he tried to formulate a response, when a second message came in.
Kathryn: He was really nice about it all, but he's not the guy I wanted to go home with. He's too short for me, nowhere near 6 feet.
Kathryn: Plus, I'm pretty sure he was wearing a Star Wars shirt. Ugh, that would be like sleeping with my brother or his friends.
Kevin looked down at his chest and saw the top of the Star Wars logo peeking out of the button down he had thrown on top of it. He zipped his jacket up all the way, and headed down into the Subway.
As he sat on the train, he tried to formulate some sort of a response to her. She was still very drunk. Obviously, she thought she was texting someone else. He figured he better put a stop to this before she did something really stupid.
Kevin: A second case of mistaken identity in one night. I guess I've just got one of those phone numbers...
Kevin: I'd recommend changing the contact to KEVIN for future reference.
The reply was nearly instantaneous.
Kathryn: Shit. I'm just going to go hide under a rock for eternity now.
He slid his phone back into his pocket. With the conclusion of that terrible date, Kevin was done. If he stopped trying, he figured chances were good he would stumble upon his soulmate organically and things would be great from there. That's what he was telling himself at least.
By the time he arrived home, Kevin had reached a few conclusions:
1) He was going to go to the gym more. He couldn't make himself taller, but he could work on his muscles.
2) He was going to start meditating to find some inner peace and acceptance.
3) He was going to buy some plain t-shirts.
He pulled a beer out of the fridge and crashed on the couch, queuing up Netflix while he set an early alarm to start meditating in the morning. All he had left to do was try to forget about his evening.
*
After being distracted by his grumbling stomach early in the morning, and failing to clear his mind during his first foray into meditation, he had actually fallen asleep on his yoga mat, and rushed onto the subway much later than normal.
As the train door closed behind him, he saw a familiar face. Well, he thought he did, but whoever it was spent the entire subway ride looking down at something in her lap. He couldn't be certain, but it definitely looked like the girl from the elevator. Her hair was hanging loose around her shoulders, and occasionally she looked out the window, but he never got a clear look at her face.
He wasn't even sure what made him notice her in the first place; normally Kevin rode the subway while reading his book with his head phones in. As if to torture his mind further, he couldn't even get a clear look at her face as she got off the train, but he thought he recognized her black leather bag. Why do so many bags have to look the same?
He was still thinking of her as he walked into the office. He felt it was the girl from the elevator, but realized his memories of her face had started to go hazy. He took this as a sign he should stop dwelling on her and move on.
He barely had his coat off before Jared bounded into his office.
"So, how was it?"
Broken out of his reverie, Kevin was confused. "What?"
"Your date yesterday!"
"Oh. Total disaster."
Jared looked genuinely shocked "What? I'm sure it wasn't that bad."
Kevin gave him a deadpan look. "You're right. If I was you, I probably could have taken her home."
This time was Jared's turn to look baffled "Wait, what?"
"She asked Randall for your number, not mine, so imagine her surprise and disappointment when she saw me."
"Oh. Shit, man. That blows."
Kevin shrugged, "There's always Nancy I guess."
Jared's face lit up at the mention of Nancy, and Kevin put a stop to it right away. "No, don't even go there. We've been over this. That was a joke. She's too young for me."
"It's not that bad. She's been legal for a few years."
"Dammit, Jared! I look for a lot more in women than just being 'legal'. That's such a messed-up way to think of women. Young is not always better." He dropped heavily into his desk chair.
Jared had the good grace to look chastened, "I know man, but five or six years isn't so bad. Katy's only 24, and she's incredible."
Kevin let Jared rave about Katy for ten minutes before he finally kicked him out so he could get to work.
After an hour he took a break and walked down the street to grab a late breakfast. When he returned to his desk, he found the cactus from Nancy sitting beside his computer, presumably put there by Jared. With a sigh, he picked it up and moved it back down to the front desk. He didn't need anymore distractions. He needed to move forward.