Sitting at the table nearest the door, Stephanie was looking at the picture of Kevin as Han Solo and thinking about their conversation. He had seemed mortified when she called his name, as if he hoped he could just drop dead at any second, or that he really was someone else, not just in cosplay.
She was excited to see him again. She thought that this was the big piece of himself he was hiding from everyone. The reason he would always get so distant and quiet when anything related to Com-Expo was mentioned. The possibility of finally working past that big secret, for him to open up and trust her enough to be himself made Stephanie positively giddy.
Was he actually worried that I would think badly about this kind of stuff? This stuff is awesome.
She flipped back to the selfie they took. His eyes looked bewildered, but the shy smirk was pretty cute. She felt she was slowly uncovering Kevin's true self, and so far, it was all good. So much different than Mark and David and all the other guys in her life recently. They buried all the fun parts of themselves if it didn't fit the look they wanted the world to see. The thought of either of them dressing up in costume was laughable.
Mark changed so much once he got the job at the firm. They hadn't been nearly as silly together as they were when they met. Stephanie could barely find the guy she fell in love with in the one she was living with. How did I get it so wrong?
Her phone vibrated in her hand, it was just after 5:00pm and saw the message was from Kevin.
Kevin: Something came up and I won't be able to make it. Sorry â¹
Stephanie felt a wave of disappointment wash over her. She hated being stood up. Although, she hadn't really asked him to come, it was more like she gave an order. That was all she had been doing to keep the convention running smoothly with all the vendors and suppliers.
Stephanie: Oh okay. Too bad. I wanted to hear all about your day. Reschedule?
She got up from the table and headed out the door.
*
Stephanie was at the convention all weekend, and Sunday was her longest day of all. There was a big panel Sunday morning, and then tear down started in the afternoon. So many vendors and suppliers coming and going was really testing her logistics skills. Overall, she was proud of how the event had gone. She'd get a new project soon, but it would likely be a smaller event.
By the time she got home at 10pm, she was absolutely exhausted. She pulled out her phone to check all her messages. Lots from her Mom and Denise, a few random links and messages from David, delete immediately, an update from Mark about when he would be back in town, but still no response from Kevin.
She tried to ignore the sense of disappointment threatening to pull her down, and when she felt the first unbidden tear run down her cheek, she headed straight to bed. Exhaustion always made her emotions run close to the surface, so she chided herself for being silly, and made sure all her alarms were turned off so she could catch up on sleep.
*
On Tuesday morning, she spotted him on the subway, and worked her way through the crowd to get to him.
"Hey" she tapped him on the shoulder, and he removed his ear buds.
"Oh, hey" he looked nervous again.
"What are you reading?"
He turned the cover over to show her, the first Spellmasters book. Stephanie smiled at him.
"An excellent choice sir! Were you there when they announced the next movie release date on the weekend?"
"No, I was only there Thursday."
"Ah, too bad. I snuck into the hall for the announcement. Don't tell my boss!" He chuckled along with her. "What else did you do this weekend?"
"Not much, had to run some errands, played some games with my buddies on Saturday night, did some work yesterday afternoon since we've got a big deadline coming up. You?"
"Well, I had to work the whole thing. That's the downside of my job. Sometimes you have to be there for the event you plan... but really it gives me more flexible vacation days so I'm okay with it."
"Sounds exhausting."
"It was. I spent most of yesterday in bed."
"I think you earned a day to be lazy."
"I thought so too. Well, that's my stop. Talk to you later!" She smiled and waved before pushing her way out the doors.
Stephanie was pleased with how that went. They hadn't talked about whether they would actually reschedule when he stood her up, and he hadn't apologized again, but at least they managed a normal conversation.
She texted Kevin when she got back to her office.
Stephanie: I am in need of new literature. I believe you might be a trusted source for opinions on fiction. Care to accompany me to Books Etc. this weekend?
Stephanie hoped for a quick response, but was starting to think Kevin might be an unreliable responder. Two hours later she finally got the response she was looking for.
Kevin: Saturday and Sunday are free for me. Pick a time.
Being given all of the power for planning the day and time when she had nothing else to work around was a stressful situation for Stephanie. When she planned things, nothing was ever wide open, and the thought made her uneasy.
With no time limit, what should she set up? Early afternoon, but after lunch so there was no worry about rushing before dinner plans? Denise would be away this weekend, should she push this later so there is a chance they could eat together afterwards? The options were stressing her out.
She decided instead to arrange the debrief with her boss. There were always a few loose ends to tie up after a big event like that, and she didn't want to miss anything on her first project with this company.
It was hours later when she finally got back to Kevin, and they planned for Saturday afternoon. A bookstore was such a relaxing place, she really hoped he would be himself there. She hoped they might even talk about more than just books.