Two weeks after leaving, Mark was finally on his way home. Even though he was exhausted, he told Stephanie all he wanted was a nice, quiet, romantic dinner so they could talk, hinting at some very big and important things he wanted to talk about. She had offered to cook dinner for them so they could stay in and relax, but Mark was adamant that they needed to go out, and he made a reservation at Lombardi's, the restaurant where they'd had their fifth anniversary dinner.
It was a special restaurant for them, and Stephanie automatically wondered if he planned to propose, so she spent extra time getting ready. They hadn't talked about marriage recently, but they had before they moved in together. She loved Mark, he was sweet and took care of her, he could be silly sometimes, and he was very ambitious. He wanted to be a partner in the firm, and wasn't going to let anything stand in his way.
When she had finally told him about the new job over the phone, he had said "that's great", but she could hear a lot of background noise; she knew he was trying to play it cool around his colleagues. She couldn't wait until it was just the two of them, so she could tell him all about it and he'd show her just how excited he really was.
His flight was delayed. He texted Stephanie saying that he would take the town car right to the restaurant, and she should drive his Mercedes over herself. They didn't want to miss their reservation, and he'd made sure to get the good spot in the corner window. The town car would deliver all his bags and things right to the condo so Mark wouldn't have to worry about them.
Stephanie arrived at the restaurant on time, and handed the keys to the valet. When she got inside, she saw him right away, looking out the window and not at his phone. That's a good sign. He saw her reflection in the window and turned to face her. His face lit up with a smile and he stood to kiss her. After two weeks apart, she was almost sorry they were in public. He was wearing his favourite bespoke suit, dark blue with a grey paisley liner. It was the first suit he bought himself when he got his job at the law firm. He saved it for special occasions.
As soon as Stephanie took her seat, the waiter appeared with champagne. Mark wanted to make a toast. Stephanie's heart raced; Mark's eyes were bright with excitement.
"To us, and our future together, wherever it may take us."
"To us!" they clinked and she took a small sip. It was good champagne, and she was starting to have high hopes that the night would end with a ring on her finger. She could sense the tension running through him, he was psyching himself up for something big.
He had already ordered them each the chef's special, a four-course meal with wine pairings. Stephanie slightly regretted wearing the form fitting dress instead of the one with the A-line skirt. She knew Mark preferred this one though, and she knew she looked great. They made small talk through the soup and salad courses, but when the entrees came and waiters departed, he took a deep breath and reached for her hand. She really wanted to dig into her filet mignon, because it looked absolutely delicious, but if this was their moment, the steak could wait. Doesn't he know the proposals are supposed to be scheduled between dinner and dessert?
He steeled himself and looked directly at Stephanie, "So, you know I've been aiming for partner since law school, right?"
"Of course! It's always been your goal. I love how you are so determined." She smiled at him and squeezed his hand.
"Yes, well, it turns out, the job in Vancouver may have been the most important thing I've done to get there. I managed to get everything under control and reorganized, and Lester, the founder of the Vancouver firm we want, was very impressed. My boss is worried that without one of us there, things are going to fall apart again. So, they want to move me to Vancouver full time. I can keep an eye on things there, and then once the merger goes through, they are hinting that I might be a partner on the west coast! It's amazing! It's everything I've ever wanted."
Stephanie could feel her heart pound in her chest. She tried to focus on his words, but her brain refused to process them.
He continued, talking quicker than normal, "So, I already found an apartment, they're paying for it for the first year. It's a penthouse suite over looking the water, and it's all floor to ceiling windows, so you can just look out on the harbour all day, no matter what room you are in. We can run in Stanley Park every day, we are just two blocks away, and yeah, Vancouver's a bit rainy, but it's also really mild."
When he finally stopped to take a breath from his rambling speech, Stephanie blurted, "but, what about me?"
His eyebrows pinched together. "What do you mean, what about you? You're coming with me of course! I need you there, I can't go without you. You've always got my back and I need that. That firm is really family oriented, and I need the other partners to see a good, stable home life so they won't choose someone else. It's not a guarantee yet. So, I need to do everything I can to put the odds in my favor. I love you, and I want you to be with me on this."
Stephanie's mind reeled. It wasn't exactly a proposal, but she didn't know what it was. She knew she needed to articulate something, and grasped at the most obvious. "But, I just got a new job! You didn't even talk to me about this."
"Babe, we're talking now. That's why I wanted to do this," he gestured around them, "to talk about the future."
"And what is our future, Mark? We haven't talked about that since we moved in together, and that was over a year ago." Time to go for the Hail Mary. "We used to talk about getting married and having kids, and then you got this job, and that's all you talk about now."
"I thought it would take at least 10 years to make partner! And that was if I worked my ass off every single day! To do it just three years after graduating, without any family connections, is unheard of!" Mark's voice was getting louder and higher. The next table over was sneaking glances at them.
"Great! I am so proud of you for that Mark! I really am." She held his hand in both of hers now. "But why can't we do that here? What am I going to do in Vancouver? Did you think about what I want? Or did you just think I would follow you blindly no matter what?"
"No that's not what I thought. And you don't even have to work. I'll make enough to cover any expenses we have. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want. You can be your own boss." His eyes were still bright, brimming with hope and excitement, the opposite of hers in every way. "You always say you wish you could be."
"Mark, I love my life here, and I start my new job on Monday. Do you know how much I've wanted a job like this one? I can't be my own boss and do events on the scale I will be able to with this company. It's a new challenge for me and I want this."
"You can host little parties and things in Vancouver. You can put on galas, or weddings or whatever else you want. There is so much opportunity for that there!"
"I have no reputation there. I have no relationships with vendors, no connections, none of the things that are important in my business." Stephanie felt uncomfortably warm.
"You'll do great anywhere, anyone who meets you loves you. You'll get all that stuff together in no time." He swatted the air as if brushing away her concerns, and her temper flared.
"Or, you can stay here and become a partner here. Yes, it might take a bit longer, but if you can do it there, why not do it here?" At that, he snatched his hand back.
"No! I won't miss my chance!" he slammed his fist on the table, "I need this, it's everything I have ever worked for, and its all coming together now. This is what we want."
Stephanie felt an icy chill run down her spine. She lowered her voice just enough to make him lean in to hear her. "No, this is what you want. This is you saying your dream is more important than my dream."
"Babe, it's partner! Not some party planner."
"Actually, my new position is called Senior Planning and Logistics Coordinator Extraordinaire!"
"That sounds like something Denise made up." He leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest.
"You're right, she added the extraordinaire, but I earned the rest of it!" She picked up her fork and knife, and attacked her filet mignon.
"Stephanie, look at me." She didn't, she refused to let him see the tears threatening to spill over. She kept cutting her steak. His hand reached out to cover her knife hand. "Stephanie. Look at me." She stopped cutting, and took a deep breath. Then looked up to meet his gaze. She was angry, and she didn't bother trying to disguise it. He flinched back, but didn't take his hand off hers. That was brave, she'd give him credit for that.
She looked back down at her plate and speared a piece of steak. Since he decided to start talking right when it came out, it was a bit cold now, but it still melted in her mouth. The waiters, clearly earning their tip tonight, had not come over to interrupt during their discussion. She could see one of them sneaking over now.
"And how is everything tasting tonight?" Mark still hadn't touched his steak, but looked like he had terrible indigestion. Stephanie turned to the waiter, and flashed the biggest smile she could muster.
"It is sublime. Could you tell me what the dessert will be?" She could barely recognize her own voice. She sounded like someone about to ask for the manager, but trying to be overly nice about it. She cringed.
"A delightful New York style cheesecake with raspberry coulis for the gentleman, and a hot chocolate lava cake for yourself, ma'am."
"Well, that sounds absolutely delicious. I can hardly wait. However, I am feeling a little bit full myself, and I believe my partner here is a bit indisposed at the moment, would we be able to just get those packed up to go?"
"Well certainly ma'am. However, the chocolate lava cake is best served warm fresh out of the oven, and I fear it may not travel very well to be eaten later."
"Oh. Could we substitute something else then?" The forced smile and excessive cheeriness were threatening to break her apart.
"I will certainly see what I can do." He gave a slight bow of his head and headed back to the kitchen. Stephanie returned to her steak and garlic mashed potatoes. She would not let Mark ruin this meal. He was well aware it was her favourite.
"How's your steak?" she inquired, thinking the dinner couldn't possibly get more awkward. That seemed to startle him back to coherence. He picked up his fork and robotically took a bite.
"It's fine. Stephanie, I-"
"No Mark, don't say anything. Clearly this was a conversation we needed to have, I'm just a bit surprised you didn't even mention this at all in the past two weeks. It's not something they just dropped on you on your way back to the airport. At least then I could have been slightly prepared."
"I just thought it would be better to tell you in person." His voice was quiet. It gave her pause before she answered.
"Is this why you've been skirting around my new job every time we've talked since I accepted the offer? You know, you didn't even ask how the interview went. I told you I got stuck in an elevator for hours and you barely flinched. Did you already know it didn't matter because you were going to try and rip me away from it? If that was the case, why not say something to me? I've signed the contract, and don't plan to go back on it. You could have said something before I did that, and we could have come to a decision together."
"No, it's not like that at all. I didn't know, and Lester only mentioned it last night."
"You said you've already found an apartment. You've made the decision without me. What kind of a team is that?"
She returned to her steak. Chagrined, he excused himself and headed to the restroom. She continued to eat, but it was losing its taste. She put her cutlery down with half her meal sitting there.
Overwhelmed by her thoughts, she finished her wine in two big gulps and leaned her head on her hand, staring out the window. How did everything fall apart so fast?
Mark returned a few minutes later, looking a little worse for wear. His tie was slightly loosened, and there were water droplets on his collar.
He sat down quietly and reached for her hand. "Stephanie, this is not at all how I expected tonight to go, and I am so sorry. I thought you were going to have a much different reaction."
"Sorry to disappoint you." Her voice was laced with acid.
"No, that's not what I am saying. I thought you would be really happy for me, and I thought that this was what you wanted too. I can see that I was wrong, and I'm sorry that I made you feel this way."
The waiter returned, this time Mark did the talking. "I was wondering if you could pack this up for me, I don't think I will be able to finish it tonight."
"Certainly, shall I bring your desserts and the check for you as well?"
"That'd be great." As the waiter dismissed himself again, Stephanie got up and made her way to the restroom. She was starting to shake and needed to compose herself. She was trampled, her thoughts were raging like bulls, and she hated how her body betrayed her emotions. The bathroom door had barely closed behind her before her mask came crumbling down.
How dare he! Just assume I will go anywhere and do anything he wants, be the perfect little housewife and wear pretty clothes and go to the fancy events on his arm like the picture of the perfect home life. Ugh! How could he do this? And me, thinking he was going to propose tonight! Oh god, what if he had proposed, and then said those things. What would I have done then? Have I been blind all along? Did I seriously not notice he became the most selfish man in the world?
She was breathing hard, and forced herself to take a few calming breaths. It wouldn't do any good to lose control completely until she was home. She looked in the mirror and touched up her lipstick. Taking one last deep breath she headed back out to the table. The waiter was just leaving, so she thanked him profusely for the wonderful service. Mark stood when she approached the table.
"Well, should we go?"
He grabbed the stack of to-go boxes from the table. At the coat check, he helped her into her jacket, and then they stood quietly side by side while waiting for the valet. The ride home was silent, and they didn't say anything to each other when they got back to the condo. Stephanie's mind was preoccupied, but she had already decided on one thing.
She walked straight back to the bedroom and found her duffel bag. She grabbed her comfiest pajamas, a pair of old jeans, a t-shirt and a cozy cardigan, then grabbed her travel bag of toiletries. He came in behind her and slumped onto the bed while she zipped up the bag.
"I'm a complete idiot." He said, face under a throw pillow.
"If you are looking for someone to refute that claim, you'll need to talk to someone else." He moved the pillow aside to look at her. "I'm going out. We can talk tomorrow, but I'm not staying here tonight."
Panicking, he sat up, reaching towards her. "Don't go, Stephanie. Stay here. I haven't seen you in two weeks. I need you."
"Oh, do you? Why? Have you got another big secret to share?"
He winced and dropped his arms. "Okay, I deserved that. But please don't go. I've missed you like crazy the past two weeks and I just want to be with you."
"Well, that's a bit of a problem, because I can't even look at you right now."
"Please Stephanie, I'll worry if you aren't here. Don't leave. I'll sleep on the couch if you want."
"Then sleep on the couch, but I'm still going to Denise's." She grabbed her bag and walked out of the room, calling over her shoulder, "and I'm taking the food with me!" He got off the bed and came to stop her.
"Please stay, we'll talk about it and figure it all out."
"We can talk tomorrow, but I'm going now." She grabbed her keys and opened the door. "You know, I thought you were going to propose tonight." She turned, pausing before she stepped into the hall, "which, I suppose you did, just not the kind I was expecting with a diamond ring." She walked out without a second glance, leaving him gaping at the closing door.