Chapter 17: Chapter 17

I shouldn't be here. I should leave. This was a bad idea—probably the worst of all the bad ideas I've ever had.

I shut my eyes and willed myself to stay where I was despite my thoughts. Leaning against Jesse's locker, I brought up my arms to cross them over my chest, my finger tapping nervously against the bicep of my arm as I waited.

It took me a while of asking around before someone directed me to where his locker was, yet as I stood there listening to the quiet murmurs of the students wandering around before classes started, I started to mull over the fact that maybe Jesse never even visited his locker at all—seeing as how the only one I ever saw him at was mine.

I was in the middle of convincing myself to leave again when the sound of voices brought me out of my thoughts. Turning to the noise, I instantly stood up a little straighter when I saw Jesse. He hadn't caught sight of me yet as he waved off some guys who had turned to the doors leading out to the courtyard, and when he did, he stopped in his tracks.

I almost screamed out in annoyance when his stare became focused on how I was leaning against the lockers, and I glared daggers at him in response, letting my foot drop from the hitched position it was in to stomp back onto the floor.

An amused expression took hold of Jesse's face when he undoubtedly sensed the tension around me. He crossed his arms just as mine were, and said, "Now look who's doing the stalking."

I ignored the jibe. "What are you doing?"

He tilted his head, smiling slightly. "Waiting for you to move so I can get to my locker."

"That's not what I meant and you know it," I spat. He and I both knew I was talking about the girl from yesterday, but I wasn't asking what he was doing with her—I was asking why he was doing what he was doing with her. I knew that if he could walk away from me so easily after all the effort he's put, then something had to be up his sleeve.

There just had to be something.

After a moment of studying me, Jesse walked up to me until he was right in my face. I shot my head back in surprise to get away from him, but had to hide the sudden pain in my skull from showing when my head only shot back into the lockers I was still leaning against.

Jesse smiled again anyway. "Can I get to my locker, Carson?" he asked, his minty breath blowing on my cheek.

As soon as his arm came up and blocked off one of my sides, I gritted my teeth in defeat and shoved past him before his other hand could rise and cage me in.

I stood behind him fuming, facing away from him for a minute while he fumbled around in his locker. After another minute passed and he still wasn't done, I snuck a look at him over my shoulder—only to catch him glancing at me also. I sighed in annoyance and turned back around to stare hard at a poster advertising a play the school was performing on the opposite side of the hall.

"So," Jesse said a moment after I heard his locker clang shut. "I'm assuming you're not here because you changed your mind about the 'friends' idea and want to beg me for another date?"

What the hell? I whipped back around to face him, finding that he was leaning against his closed locker as he watched me. "You know why I'm really here," I said.

"Enlighten me. I don't know to what I owe the pleasure."

I'm sure there's an emergency axe in this school somewhere.

"Why are you doing this to her?" I asked tiredly. He didn't look like he was planning on answering, so I continued. "You know that girl has plans, right? Like all of the other girls before her? I'm sure she didn't plan on having a one night stand with a guy who's just going to ditch her when he's done with her."

Something suddenly flashed in Jesse's eyes; the blue in them glinting with amusement.  "Now," he said. "Whoever said I had a one night stand with her?"

I paused. "Are you trying to say that you didn't?"

"Didn't what?"

For a moment I almost lost my train of thought, and I mentally cursed Jesse for confusing me. "Did you sleep with her or not?"

Jesse shrugged. "Maybe I did—maybe I didn't. Who knows, really?"

I glanced around the hall, thankful to find it still empty, and ran a hand through my hair in frustration. It took more than just a little while to calm myself, but when I finally did, I managed to ask calmly, "Why did you do it?"

The amusement I had just seen earlier vanished from Jesse's face, and now all I could see was the same annoyance that was on mine. His eyes were cold when he spoke. "Because, Carson. I treat girls as if they're toys, right? That's all I thought of her," he said, giving me one last look before he pushed away from the lockers and turned for the doors that led out to the courtyard. "Hell," he went on. "That's what I thought of you, too."

My mouth popped open.

I stood there, staring at the place where he was just standing before I turned to watch him leave.

Unfortunately, my temper and patience decided to snap on its own when I realized that I let him win the argument with an insult. So, my next course of action wasn't really all that unexpected.

"Gah!"

I scooped up my bag and flung it at him in one swift movement.

It didn't hit him in the head and make him fall over and into a trash bin like I had envisioned, but it did crash by his arm hard and land loudly on the floor beside him.  Regardless of where it had hit though, it made Jesse come to a sudden stop and glance over his shoulder at me. His eyes stayed locked on mine, until he abruptly threw his stuff to the side. The noise it made against the lockers was loud enough for my nerves to jump with a slight tinge of fear.

It was just slight, though, and vanished as soon as I composed myself.

"You really want to do this now?" Jesse asked, smiling in a way that made my nerves jump again.

I smiled though, feigning bravado. "Yeah."

"You know, I've never hit a girl before," he said.

"Why not, Jesse?" I moved toward him, never taking my eyes off of his. There seemed to be something inside me that was edging me on, but I didn't realize until it was too late that the last time I did something like this, I was well aware of what I was doing, but now... What if we really ended up in a fist fight? I wouldn't let him win, of course, but what would happen after I won? What if I killed him in the process?

Oh, God.

I shook my thoughts away and succumbed to the demons inside me, liking how Jesse's chest seemed to still its breathing altogether when I brought myself to stand right up close to him. "You can play with girls, but you're too chicken to man up and fight one?"

He remained quiet, studying me as I took advantage of the silence and brought up a hand to trail along his jaw. In the midst of enjoying every second of teasing him, I found myself actually distracted by how soft his skin was. I let a finger softly brush against his Adam's apple and then I noticed his arm twitch in my peripheral vision when I moved closer to him and allowed my hand to trail up and passed his neck to touch the edge of his lips.

I moved my eyes away from his mouth to look up at him, and when his eyes met mine, I asked, "Are you going to fight me now?"

He let out a heavy sigh and looked away. For a second I thought he was going to pull away from me and bolt, but I felt it when his hand came up, slightly shaking along my hip and my arm to rest on my shoulder, gripping the fabric of my shirt as if he hated it more than anything else in the world—and before I could blink, my back slammed against the lockers.

At first, I thought this was the start of the fight I initiated with my bag, but I turned to my shoulder to find that he never released his hold on me, but instead held me against the lockers with so much force I had half the mind to suspect we'd fall through the wall.

He shifted forward, toward me so that our foreheads came in contact with one another. I felt his other hand come up to grip onto my waist. It was then that I realized he wasn't pushing me away—he was pulling me to him.

Run! I screamed at myself. Run, run away!

I couldn't find the strength to move though. It was like standing in the middle of the street and turning to see that a bus was coming at you full speed. I was stuck. As I watched Jesse in my state of weakness, I saw that his eyes took on a dominant shade, especially now that he towered over me with his height and moved so that his lips just barely brushed against mine.

To be completely honest, my plan had only went up to just waiting by his locker until he told me to buzz off and get over the fact that I was a lost cause and he was with someone else now. And even then, he didn't even do that. If I had been given a year to ponder how this would have turned out, I wouldn't have thought it'd come to this.

Think! Do something! Anything!

Jesse moved so close that I could feel butterfly kisses. His lips remained lingering just millimeters apart from mine while his hand dropped away from my shoulder to wrap around a belt loop of my jeans. I'd bet my life that he was going to jerk me forward and let Newton's Law of Motion determine the rest, but then I started to think.

To really think about what I was doing. And who I was—about to—do it with.

When the gears in my mind started to turn, and I started to gain feeling back in my limbs, it felt as though I had been dumped into an ice cold tub of water.

Regrettably, my state of clarity seemed to have came a second too late, because when I was about to throw myself on the floor to get Jesse to let me go, he suddenly jerked me forward.

At the last second, I shot my head back and brought up both of my hands to hold Jesse away. "Don't you dare."

His eyes had been on my lips, but when he realized I'd moved away, he snapped them up to mine. The way he looked at me made me believe for a second that he hadn't heard me and was going to continue where he left off, but then he asked, "Why not?"

"Because I'll kill you, that's why." I narrowed my eyes when he didn't release me. "So will the girl from yesterday."

At that, he loosened his hold on me and leaned away—but not too far. He shook his head slightly, almost as though he had been pulled from a dream. "What girl?"

I looked at him as if he were an idiot. "The girl you asked out in front of me."

Comprehension seemed to flash across his features, and something else, but it wasn't annoyance this time, but the amusement I'd noticed in his face when he first saw me standing here. He released me and took a step away, evening his breathing while he regarded me, only to shake his head when he gathered his bearings. With a hint of a smile, he turned for his stuff.

"I didn't ask her out, Carson," he confessed. He glanced at me afterwards. "I didn't even ask her if she liked me."

I waited for him to continue, but he didn't. He turned on his heel and started to walk away.

I kicked away from the lockers – momentarily dazed by the sudden movement – and stood in the dead center of the hall, staring after his retreating figure. Before he could get away, I spoke out. "What did you ask her, then?"

He stopped again, looking back at me. His eyes met mine with an edge – almost like this encounter had him reeling more than me.

"From none other than a girl's opinion, I asked her if you looked jealous." He smiled. "And she said yes."