Chapter 18: Chapter 18

I was being childish. And even I knew it.

Ditching my first class without getting into trouble came off as difficult at first thought, since the pass I had for the library was from two years ago – but the aged librarian didn't think to check it, and didn't think to make sure if I was hiding out in the aisles.

Since Jesse knew I was still in school, by hiding, I basically showed him that I was letting him win – whatever it was that he was trying to prove. For obvious reasons, I skipped class because I couldn't possibly face him after he built up the audacity to call me jealous. He had a lot of nerve, I give him that much.

When the bell rang, I ran out of the room before the younger librarian could question me – which was easy, since I was sitting next to the second door that led straight to the hallway.

That wasn't my only 'acting out' scene though, but after back talking to a teacher and being sent outside to wait until the class ended – I knew I was taking it too far. I just couldn't help it – the thought of what Jesse conjured up made me snappy, but I admit, using sarcasm on a teacher wasn't wise. Or the least bit of funny when she threatened me with a write up.

On the track during gym, I felt my blood pressure rise. Even from across the entire field, Jesse managed to shoot me challenging stares. I decided the best course of action was to just ignore him, even if it meant that in doing that it would only make him more obliged to pick on me later.

But even then, what could he possibly do?

Afterwards, I easily just ran out of the main gym doors when the guys came out of the locker room – not giving Jesse so much as a chance to even see me.

All through my last class, I tried to avoid the questioning glances I was receiving from Katrina. Though, when the whole class erupted with noise, something sparked.

"So..." she started. "Does your back hurt?"

I glanced at her with narrow eyes. "What're you talking about?"

She rolled her eyes, the only expression she used when she was close to being madly annoyed. "I don't know, I mean, Jesse and you are getting really serious – and as your best friend, you're neglecting to talk."

"About what? There's nothing to say."

"Well, I asked if your back hurt." My eyes squinted, but I was a little more relieved that the students around the room weren't paying attention to us. "Did Jesse hit you or did he attempt at rough play?"

"I really don't want to talk about it."

"So, you're saying that you like him?"

I turned towards the window. "I don't want to talk about it."

I didn't know if it were my tone, or the way my face looked, or even that I repeated myself – but she didn't pester me after I said that. But I had to side with her, since I was being secretive. Though, none of that meant I had to come out and talk, because Jesse wasn't someone I was glad to be conversing with.

When the bell rang, we both went separate ways – me going towards my locker and her going to the back of the school. I felt bad for a second, but then let it go. If she knew about this morning, then telling her I absolutely hated him wouldn't serve her insight any justice.

But, in a split second, I debated on running after her once I saw a dark silhouette against my locker. Once he looked up, I deliberated on getting the fire extinguisher from the wall and wailing on him.

Deciding to stick to a stable plan, I acted as if he weren't there, and walked up the locker and shoved him aside.

He stumbled a bit, but not enough to say my wishes came true and he fell to the floor. While brushing himself off and standing beside me, his voice came out smoother than I thought. "Hello to you too."

I didn't say anything, but opened the locker and put my stuff in.

"Carson?"

Ignore him, he'll go mad.

While in the process of bringing out my math book, the locker slammed shut in front of me. To be honest, I expected that – but what I didn't expect was for him to lose his patience so fast.

"May I ask why you're disregarding me?" His breath blew in my hair; the shivers that found their way up my arms were unforeseen, to even me.

Forget the book, you idiot, get out of there!

I pushed his arm away and went around him, but knowing a guy as persistent as Jesse, it was complete and utterly logical to know all he would do is follow me like the puppy he came off to be.

"The silent treatment?" he said from behind me. "Now who's being the mature one?"

"And you don't get that I don't want to see you? Why don't you grow up, and go away?" My voice had been rising, but my gaze just shifted as soon as I met the eyes of nosy bystanders.

"So much for being silent." I rolled my eyes at that, but continued to walk away. "I need to ask you something though."

"Don't you always have something to ask?" I countered.

He sighed and found his way right beside me again, staring at me while I stared ahead. "Why is it that you can come off to be jealous, yet you can say you don't like me?"

Oh great, the interrogation starts again.

"I wasn't jealous," I pushed open the front doors of the school.

I was in the hopes of Jesse just dropping the subject as Katrina did, though I really shouldn't have been so surprised when he shut back the doors on me.

Acting out of instinct, I glanced around at the people in the front of the school – feeling like a moron as they just stared.

"Answer me something, because I honestly don't get it," Jesse started, not removing his hand from the door. "Were you lying about hating the date?"

My breath caught. But luckily, I recovered before he could register my silence.

I turned slightly to face him, and never removed my gaze from his eyes as I spoke. But as it turns out, I lied through my teeth. "No, I wasn't. It was the worst date I've ever had in my entire life."

His eyes widened and he backed up, but when he saw me glance around again he recovered his good humor with a hint of a smile. "You're lying."

I scowled, and turned to shove the doors this time. As I walked down the steps, I could hear him laughing to himself.

"Ya' know, it's really a shame you won't admit it around people. Because in reality, I should be the one embarrassed by you."

I stopped on the front steps, and whirled around to face him. "Embarrassed by me? How so?"

He looked around awkwardly, judging by his lack of response I could tell he wasn't expecting my reaction. But being that he had a lot of nerve, he answered me instead of letting me walk away. "Well, you're not the exact peak at the top of the school, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, and those girls you've used are? Thanks, but I'd rather be the stones at the bottom than be one of those." With that said, I turned back around and headed to my car, already bringing out my keys so that I could speed off and leave him here.

He followed me though, so my great escape wasn't so great in the end. "Answer me though. Were you lying about liking me too?"

I gave him a cold look. "You called me a toy – if you honestly expect me to say I like you, then you're far from it."

Frustration crossed his features, signaling that he was in no better mood than I was. "Does it take everyone this hard to get a yes or no answer out of you?"

"Maybe you shouldn't be asking me a 'yes or no' question if you have a problem," I snapped.

"I'm only asking because you lie about half the things you say."

"Of all people, you should be one of the last ones to complain about that. The last time I checked, that was your job, was it not?" My comeback had him freeze again, so I took the chance to get to my car.

In a snap, Jesse shifted in front of me – stopping me in my tracks before I could run into him. "You know what? At least I have a chance to say I've been with someone."

I scoffed. "And you take pride in saying that? Saying that you've used girls and threw them out? You're sick."

A swore came from him, while he raised his hands to his head and moved out of my way. Only for a mere second, I debated on slapping sense into him – but let it go and continued to my car.

"Why won't you just answer me?" I heard him behind me again, hearing the frustration in his voice made me turn to glance at him. "Do you like me or not?"

His eyes met mine. Instead of answering with a question or standing there not answering at all, I shot him a cold look and continued walking on.

Why do you have to be a pushover and park so far?

"You're seriously not going to answer?"

I made my voice pixie-like, and smiled innocently. "Well, I don't want to lie."

Once I was in front of my car, I noticed he was quiet. Turning to him after I threw my stuff inside, I noticed he was staring at me – and not in the friendliest manner to add at that.

"Lie then," he said. I wasn't even sure it was him who said it though, because the wind seemed to carry off the strength of his voice. "Lie if it's so damn easy."

I gave him a look over, unsure. Somehow, in the most devious way, I liked where this conversation had resulted.

Watching the way the wind blew into his hair, and the way some strands fell into his face was nerve-racking, since his expression made it seem as if that was far from what he was worried about. I quickly tried to make up mind on what to say – but then thought better of it.

I always did stuff I wasn't supposed to do, and then thought about the consequences later.

But in this case, I didn't know what consequence I would have – especially with Jesse.

I shut the door, trying not to think so much.

"You want me to lie?" I asked, not looking away from him.

His expression didn't change, so I took it as a yes. I found my way around the car until I stood in front of him. This time, he was the one to shiver when I raised my mouth to his ear.

Before saying anything, I gazed around at the people watching – mentally hating how they didn't just go home.

Be honest. This kind of stuff doesn't even happen on TV anymore.

"I," I started. In my peripheral vision, I saw his eyes had closed as soon as my breath blew on his skin. I let my lips graze the outline of his jaw before I rose back to his ear.

Say it. Just take the risk, Carson.

A smile found its way on my lips.

"I hate you." I felt the air still as soon as I said it.

The lie had been fatal.

But I walked away freely, for the first time in a long time, Jesse was the one rendered speechless.