Chapter 26: Chapter 26

I gave in. A small part of this chapter is of Jesse's point of view. It's spotty and more of a deleted scene than a whole analysis on his thoughts - but it's supposed to show something - or better yet, hype up something. Happy Thursday. :P

* * *

Unsurprisingly, I found myself lying down in the nurse's office just seven minutes later.

The nurse kept me throughout the rest of P.E. and my last class with Katrina, instructing me in an annoyed tone to keep the ice pack she gave me at my head, and to remain lying down on the uncomfortable exam table beside her desk.

When the bell signaled the end of the school day, she dismissed the other students who were fake coughing in the chairs by the door and turned to me. "It wasn't as bad as I expected," she said, extending out a hand for the ice pack. I handed it to her wordlessly. "At most you'll feel aches, but you're fine. If you feel dizzy, you're free to call your parents to come for you."

She gestured to the desk phone beside her desktop, but I shook my head at her offer and stood up instead. "I'm fine now, but thank you."

She nodded, eying me for a second before she swiveled around in her desk chair to face her monitor. "You can head off now. I'd suggest Tylenol if your head starts to hurt."

I smiled weakly even though she wasn't looking at me anymore, and walked past her to the door leading out to the hallway. As soon as I was out, I paused to glance around at the people moving by me. To my surprise, I realized I'd been looking for Jesse within the crowd—and as strange as it seemed, not finding him in it hit me with confusion. Of all the people in this school, and judging mainly on his actions since I met him, I would have at least expected him to be waiting for me until I was released from the nurse—and that's not even including the fact that it was his fault that I turned up in it in the first place. Another person missing was Katrina, but the bell had just rung and I didn't really expect her to—

"Carson!" My gaze snapped up to the girl running to me. "They said you were dead! Are you okay?"

I waited until she was close enough to respond. Once she stood in front of me, I nodded my head toward the nurse's office and said, "She said I was alright. But it doesn't change the fact that the person refusing to leave me alone hit me with a football, and to top it off,"—I glanced around again—"I don't even know where he is."

Katrina's eyes widened. "Who? Jesse? He hit you?"

"Yeah. I mean, I don't know—it didn't look like he meant to, but I don't see him here trying to prove it." It was a sign of guilt. He ran off so that I won't retaliate by shoving him through a window. As I rubbed my head with the back of my hand, I glanced around Katrina to peer through the students departing from their classes. "I wonder where Kale is though...he was behind me when Jesse threw it."

I noticed Katrina pause, turning over her shoulder to join in my search. "Uh...who's Kale?"

"My brother's friend." One look at her face and it was clear she didn't remember. Not that I could blame her with the amount of friends my brother had while he had attended school here before he left for college. "The one who came up to us when I was wearing my 'special outfit'," I elaborated.

"Oh," she snickered, and then shifted on her feet and brought out something that I instantly sighed in relief at. "I remembered your locker combination from when you told me, so I went into the locker room and brought this. Our class is right by the gym anyway, and I figured with what happened you didn't have time to get your stuff..."

I reached out to grab my bag from her hands, reaching inside of it and pulling out my car keys with a smile. "Thanks, Kat."

She followed me as I made my way to the main doors of the school. After a short second, she turned to me and asked, "So what was Kale doing there? Does he have class with you guys?"

I shrugged. "No. He was ditching, I guess. And for no good reason by the sounds of it; all he told me were things I already knew."

Katrina sighed, pushing open the doors of the school when we reached them. "Boys at this school," she muttered with the shake of her head and the roll of her eyes.

I smiled at her as we walked out, the cold wind picking up and blowing through our hair. It was cold—colder than it had been yesterday and the day before. The sun hid behind a mass amount of gray clouds, making the parking lot look more like a haunted cemetery.

Katrina and I descended the front steps of the school and rounded a handful of large crowds of students waiting to get picked up, as well as maneuvering around cars and making sure not to slip in the snow. She was having fun watching me struggle though, but I looked over to her when I heard her laughter cease once we neared my car. "Um..." she said. "I think I'm going to head back now."

"What?"

"My bus driver might have decided to show up early today." She backed up toward the school. "Besides, you have bigger things to worry about."

Before turning around, she waved a hand at my car. Watching as she made her way back to the building of the school and disappeared inside of it, I hesitated when I turned back around.

I stayed where I was as I stared at him, taking in how still he was.

Jesse's head hung low, with the hood of his black jacket over, and even from where I was standing, I could see the pitch black strands of his hair flapping around in his eyes.

While I watched him, it took a lot of self control as to not pounce on him. With him looking as though he was in deep thought, I knew I'd have the element of surprise. There was something in the way he leaned against my car, however, that knocked those thoughts aside momentarily though. Paying closer attention, I began to notice his fingers tapping against the biceps of his crossed arms.

Could he be here because he wanted to apologize?

His fingers drummed harder against his arm as he looked up. His face turned toward the highway our school was just off of, to the cars parked around him, and then to the large building I was standing in front of. I hadn't realized until a second later that it wasn't the school he was looking at—it was me.

He suddenly pushed himself away from my car and held his hands up at me. "Listen, Carson—I'm sorry, alright?"

I didn't know why his voice triggered a nerve in me. I didn't even know why when those dark blue eyes of his met mine, I acted on the nerve by stalking up to him.

I managed to swing my bag off my shoulder and swing it at him in one swift movement once I was close enough. "You're sorry? You throw a football at me, and all you have to say is that you're sorry?"

Just as I was about to make another attempt at whacking him with my bag, he reached for it mid air and yanked on it, causing me to stumble toward him. Due to the fact that I was still dizzy from being hit in the head, I wasn't surprised to find that I had stumbled closer to him than I would've liked. Jesse seemed to have noticed it just as I did, but he made no objection to the unsettling proximity.

"It was an accident," he said. "What else do you want me to say?"

To be honest, I didn't even know. On one hand I wanted him to continue apologizing until I forgot about the incident, but on the other—the evil side of me—wanted to see him on his knees begging for my forgiveness.

One word kept me from saying what I wanted to see him do, though. "An accident?" I echoed, trying to wrench my bag away from him with no success. "How was throwing that thing at me from across the field an accident?"

"It was an accident because I wasn't even aiming at you."

With one final jerk, I managed to free the item keeping us close. With my bag now only in my hands, I took a step back, not realizing until a moment later that Jesse had closed a little more of the distance between us no matter how far away from him I moved.

"I figured you were," I muttered sourly, and trained my eyes on him once again and asked, "Who were you aiming at if it wasn't me?"

Jesse paused, shifting his eyes away from me. "I was aiming at the tool you were talking to."

I couldn't help the scoff that escaped through my lips. "Ya' know, the only tool I'm talking to is you." I backed up again, not liking how small the space between Jesse and I was getting. "Now get the hell out of my way so I can go home."

After a moment, Jesse pursed his lips—almost as if he were offended, I dare say—and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket, relaxing back against my car. "No."

I scowled then, my temper rising as I tightened my grip on the strap of my bag. "Get," I spat out, "out—of—my—way."

He smiled in a way that he knew seemed to aggravate me even more. "No."

"Why are you dragging this out?" I shouted. A look of disbelief flittered across my face when I heard a chuckle escape under his breath. The expression remained on my face when he looked up with a smirk, a glint of amusement in his eyes. "What's wrong with you?"

A minute passed. Jesse kept his eyes locked on me the entire time, making me shift under his gaze and glance around as my anger slowly morphed into a strange sense of nervousness.

"You don't see it," Jesse said so low that it took blocking out the chatter of the students departing from the school to hear him clearly. "You—you really don't see it, do you?"

Another minute passed.

I blamed it initially on my nerves, but when I saw that his eyes remained settled on me in a way that called out to me, some defensive tic in me kicked in and I jumped away from him even though he wasn't standing as close to me as he was before. And where there was Defensive Carson, there was I Have To Prove Myself Carson, a part of me that I was beginning not to like.

"Ugh!" I snapped, flinging my keys at him. "Keep the damn car, then! I don't care anymore!"

I stormed off, slapping a hand against the hood of the car parked beside mine to right my footing on the slippery pavement. Before I could manage to put so much distance between Jesse and me though, I heard his voice behind me say, "Don't be an idiot, Carson. It's freezing and you know it."

I knew he was right, but I continued on, not wanting to show him that he was. Raising my hands to my ears, I made it clear to him that I wasn't listening to his—wise—words of advice. Even then though, when he spoke again, it still broke through my seemingly foolproof way of blocking him out.

"You can't just walk away, Carson!"

I glanced at him over my shoulder. "Watch me."

* * *

⌠Jesse⌡

Leaning back against her car, I watched as Carson maneuvered around the traffic of people loitering the parking lot. I let out a smile at the sight of her having to use the parked cars as support whenever she lost her footing and stumbled over the slippery pavement in her haste to leave.

Typical Carson, I thought.

Feeling a pinch in the palm of my hand, I glanced away from the eccentric girl running away from me to the set of keys she'd thrown at me. I had no doubt that she needed them, but with the reminder of how stubborn she was, I highly doubted she would come back to get them.

I let out a sigh and looked back up to see that Carson managed to escape the school premises unscathed and was now walking on the sidewalk along the highway. Kicking away from Carson's car, I cast one look at the school before I set off, but then stopped short when I caught the eyes of a girl on the front steps. She was close enough to where I was standing that I could see how dark her eyes were and how blonde her hair was.

The sight somehow disappointed me. I found myself not liking how her eyes weren't hazel and how her hair wasn't dark. I found myself not liking how she wasn't Carson.

I tore my eyes away from her.

That was a new one.

Composing myself, I looked back to the girl. She smiled, clearly wondering if she should walk up to me or not.

After a second, I shifted my gaze to where Carson left—the girl who didn't want me.

And then I looked back to the front steps of the school—the girl who did.

I sighed.

Shoving the car keys in my pocket, I pulled back up my hood and headed off in Carson's direction.

* * *

│Carson│

I am such an idiot.

Oh, I thought, because big and bad Carson has to prove something. She has to walk while her car was right there in front of her. I should have pushed him out of the way. I should have asked for someone else's car and pushed him out of the way with that. I should have run around to the passenger side and got into the car through there.

I am such an idiot.

I doubted circling back with the hope that he wouldn't be there anymore would do me any good, but then again, if he was there, I could just sneak around behind him and jump in through the passenger side before he could even see me—

You threw your keys, you idiot!

I stopped.

Was it worth going back for them? Was anything worth going back at this point?

I pictured squaring off with Jesse again. No. It's not worth it—definitely not worth going back.

Tugging the sleeves of my sweater down over my hands, I hugged my arms to my chest and continued on my way home. After passing a few houses and streets, I raised a hand to my head, trailing a finger along the spot where I'd been hit.

I winced as it throbbed under my touch.

Ugh.

Random thoughts of moving away or getting a restraining order crossed my mind, but I concluded with a scowl that a piece of paper would not keep Jesse away and that changing my address somehow wouldn't work either.

As I continued walking, I kept thinking on and on about what Jesse found so interesting about me. I was temperamental and rude and skeptic and more often than not, insane enough to be a patient in a mental asylum. What was it? Was he a masochist? Or was he just really dedicated to whatever game he was playing?

Eventually he'd had to give up. I mean, he has to have more important things to do than chase after one girl for the rest of his life. It's just a matter of him realizing that he has a better chance of action with someone else and then everything will be normal again—

"Carson?"

I stopped. My muscles instantly tensed and my body froze. At the sound of footsteps, I slowly turned to look over my shoulder.

Jesse stood behind me, his warm breath creating clouds in the cold air as he panted. He was slightly hunched over, his hands resting on his knees. He must have run here.

I let out a drained sigh at the sight of him, not so much angry as I was tired. "What? What do you want now?"

He met my eyes. "You're overreacting."

A pang of realization shot through me. He was right, but I wasn't about to admit it to him. "You're such a hypocrite," I shot back him. "If anyone is overreacting, it's you. You're the one who threw a football at a guy talking to me because—I don't know, you—were jealous, or something."

He fumbled over his words. "I—I wasn't jealous."

"Yeah? Then why did you throw it?"

"Because...wha—he was looking at you like—I mean—" Jesse paused a moment to let out a sigh of frustration. "I couldn't just stand there while he was looking at you like that. It looked like he was flirting with you. I had to do something."

I rolled my eyes. "If you must know, he was only warning me about you. And aside from that, throwing it because of the way he was looking at me or because you thought he was flirting with me makes you jealous."

Jesse heaved once, straightened up, and crossed his arms. He gave me a stern look as he said, "So what? It doesn't matter if I was or not."

I let out a bark of laughter. "It does, actually. I can talk to whoever I want to. I'm not your property, Jesse."

At that, his eyes shifted down to the snow covered sidewalk. He took a few seconds to himself before he raised his gaze back up to me. When I saw that all the playfulness and amusement I usually associated with him was gone, replaced by a seriousness I never knew he had in him, I suddenly felt the strange urge to drop my things and make a run for it.

"Just be with me," he said quietly. "Just give in and be with me."

I stared at him. "No." It came out almost instinctual.

The patience in his face drained. "I'm not asking this time, Carson."

His tone triggered my temper again, and I replied curtly with, "I said no."

With that, I turned on my heel and made it my personal mission to walk away and to never turn back.

I guessed Jesse must have caught on to that, because after I put three steps away from him, I heard his shoes against the snow behind me. The sound was close, making it known to me that he was walking toward me and not away from me. With that fact, my temper began to rise again, and I knew that this time, I wouldn't hesitate or put off attacking him.

"Carson?"

I ignored him.

"Carson, wait!"

Crossing the street, I still heard his footsteps behind me. The way they seemed to be quickening had me beginning to grow worried.

When I heard Jesse's voice again, it came out almost commanding. "Carson!"

And then finally, a vein snapped.

I whirled around, the cold air biting into the skin of my face. "WHAT?"

I didn't see it coming. I didn't see him or anticipate how close he was.

All I knew was that my mind completely blanked when all I saw was a pair of hands coming toward me; both wrapping around the sides of my face and tangling into my hair. When things started to make sense, I was abruptly yanked forward. Right into Jesse. And it was too late to pull away once I felt the electricity shoot through me.

Before I had any time to react, his lips crushed onto mine—gentle being one of the last words to describe it. And at first, the shock of it all had me frozen in place, my hands still suspended in the air and my eyes wide open in alarm. But after Jesse's hands tightened in my hair, my sense of feeling started to work its way back into my body.

My bag dropped onto the floor beside me, and I shut my eyes tight as I put both of my hands on Jesse's, trying desperately to pry them off. It soon dawned on me that doing so wasn't working. If anything, he took it as a sign that I was urging him on.

So he continued to kiss me. And it was simple, but something about Jesse made it all the more intense. He never released my hair from his hands, probably knowing that I would take advantage of it and pull away with all the strength I could muster, and kept me pressed up against him.  At the same time though, he seemed to be demanding more, deepening the kiss even though I was hardly responding.

It felt like a lifetime when he pulled away from me. I opened my eyes slowly, looking up at him to find that both of our breathing was ragged. His eyes were glazed over as he unhurriedly withdrew his hands from my hair, the dark strands falling onto my shoulder.

When life returned to Jesse's eyes, a ghost of a smile played along the sides of his lips. And then something inside of me snapped.

My hand came up, and the demons in my heart cheered me on when the force of the blow shot Jesse's head to the side. Suddenly aware of how close he still was, I let out a growl and shoved him away from me. I discovered in that moment that I was no brawler, seeing as how Jesse only stumbled back a few steps instead of falling backwards and into the piles of snow—and/or oncoming traffic—as I'd hoped for.

"You son of a bitch," I let out in an exhale, still not fully recovered from the state of breathlessness the kiss had left me in. I shot my hand up to my mouth, starting to panic when I felt how warm my lips were. A feeling of anger and violation shot through me, and my fist clenched when I looked to Jesse. "I'm going to kill you."

Jesse's expression softened when he straightened up his posture and ran his finger along the spot where I'd punched him. When he looked to me, the way his face didn't represent the pain of the red mark on his cheekbone caught me off guard.

"Go for it," he mumbled, a dazed tone in his voice. I saw his eyes shift back to my lips. "That was worth it."