I still donât know what happened to make Headmaster Matthews call my father a few days ago and let me know that my suspension was up early, but I didnât question his decision and Matthews never offered any more information about it either. Itâs almost as if he was trying to pretend the entire moment never happened in the first place, which is weird.
But Iâm never one to push so I went about my business, relieved it was over.
Except for the slightly confrontational moment in English that first morning I returned to class, I havenât really spoken to Arch again. Oh, I notice him all the time because now that weâve had actual interactions, heâs hard to unsee. Plus, heâs in practically every single one of my classes, save for a couple. Once lunch hits and we have the two remaining periods afterward, I donât see him for the rest of the day.
I would never admit this out loud, but I sort of miss him paying attention to me.
I know, I know. It makes no sense. I canât stand him. Heâs so entitled and arrogant and mean. What he said to me, how he got me suspendedâ¦I swear in English that morning when I came back, he was trying to tell me something, but he couldnât come up with the right words to say it. The imploring looks and sitting extra close to me wasnât enough to get his point across. We donât know each other that well, and itâs not like I can read his mind.
Though itâs probably better this way, him leaving me alone. Thatâs what I tell myself. He hangs out with a very privileged crowd, and Iâve noticed that Cadence has inserted herself back into it. Not that she ever really left, but they did break up.
Iâve seen the two of them in the hallway walking side by side every morning for the past week. Cadenceâs gaze is adoring as she chats him up, while he just stares straight ahead, the stony look on his face making me wonder if heâs even listening to her.
I couldnât stand that. He acts like he can barely tolerate Cadence and sheâs perfectly fine with it? Thatâs not a relationship. Thatâs not love.
Though what do I know about romantic love? Not like I can judge. Iâve had a few minor crushes over the years but nothing serious. I had a boy ask me to the winter formal my freshman year and I got all ready for the dance in a dress that cost my dad a lot, only for the boy to cancel at the last minute because he got sick. He was even hospitalized for a short time, he was so ill.
Some things are justâ¦not meant to happen.
I enter the dining hall with apprehension because I hate it in there. But Iâm in the mood for something healthy and the salad bar here is pretty great. Besides, I didnât bring anything from home to eat. So here I am, clutching a tray in my hands and going down the line at the salad bar, putting together my lunch and praying no one mean looks at me or says anything rude.
And when I refer to someone mean, Iâm talking about Arch or any of his friends. Mainly JJ. Though heâs relatively harmless. Truly so is Arch, at least lately. He doesnât utter a word to me when weâre in the admin office together during second period. Vivian wonât let him. She puts him straight to work, usually enclosing him in an unused office thatâs about the size of a closet, where she makes him staple papers together into packets. Iâm sure he hates it.
Iâm just glad I donât have to do it. Instead, I monitor the phones while Vivian and I talk about gardening. Sheâs always got a few tips to offer.
God, Iâm turning into an old lady. Could my life be any more boring?
It is a relief not to have him around in the office though. His mere presence unsettles me. When he walks into the admin building every morningâand heâs always late, itâs like he does it on purposeâitâs as if he sucks all the oxygen out of the space. Leaving me breathless and extremely aware of him. Everything about him. Heâs so handsome I can barely look him in the eye, and heâs so tall and broad and muscular. His jawline and his eyes and basically his entire faceâ
Itâs a problem. For me, itâs a monumental problem. Iâve never reacted to anyone like this before and the fact that itâs Arch Lancaster who makes me feel this way? I donât like it.
At all.
âGod, the tomatoes are so ugly, they look like theyâve been punched in the face,â the girl standing behind me in line mutters.
I glance over at her at the same time she looks at me and she smiles. My heart drops when I recognize her.
Edie Lancaster. Archâs little sister.
âI donât really like tomatoes,â I manage to say, my voice so soft she probably didnât hear me over the noise that fills the dining hall every day at lunch.
âI do, but only if theyâre fresh off the vine.â Edie wrinkles her nose. âThose look straight out of a can.â
I canât help but laugh. âNone of the vegetables in the salad bar are canned.â
âHow do you know?â She doesnât say it as a challenge. She sounds genuinely curious.
âMy dad works here.â Heat creeps up my neck and into my cheeks.
âOh, so youâre Daisy. I shouldâve known.â Her smile remains friendly, as does her tone, but I donât know.
I donât like how she said that.
âWhy should you have known?â Iâm wary, my hand shaky as I reach out and grab the tongs to dump a pile of red onion on top of my salad.
âThe earrings are a dead giveaway,â Edie says.
My wariness melts at her referring to my tiny daisy earrings and I offer her a smile. âMy mom gave them to me.â
âTheyâre cute. Your mom has good taste.â
I donât correct her by saying had. Thereâs no need to let Edie know my mom is gone. Iâve already made that mistake with her brother and he totally used it against me.
We make small talk as we work our way down the bar, and once weâre done, Iâm about to go my own way when Edie says, âWhere are you sitting?â
âOh.â I clear my throat, shocked sheâd ask. Doesnât she have a pile of friends she can sit with? Maybe she hangs out with her brotherâs friends. That current group is a mixed bag of grades. âI usually sit over there.â
I incline my head toward the small tables that only have two chairs.
âDo you mind if I join you? Or do you already sit with someone? Itâs cool if you do. I just thought Iâd ask.â Edieâs smile is small and if you look a little more closely, itâs also fragile.
Like sheâs afraid Iâm going to reject her.
âYou can join me,â I offer, shocked by the blinding smile she flashes in my direction.
We go and sit at one of the tiny tables and I watch as Edie grabs her fork the moment weâre in our seats, diving right into her salad. I follow her lead, suddenly ravenous, and for a few minutes, weâre silent as we eat. The loud crunch of my chewing the only thing I can focus on.
âYou know my brother,â is what Edie finally says to restart our conversation.
I practically choke on a cucumber at her statement and immediately reach for my water tumbler, taking a long sip from the thick plastic straw to get the rest of the cucumber down before I can speak. âI know of him.â I pause. âEveryone does.â
âTrue.â Edie tilts her head, her examining gaze making me want to squirm. She has the same eyes as Arch, though hers are a little darker. A lot friendlier. âYouâre the girl he got suspended for.â
Surprise fills me. âHe didnât get suspended.â
Edie is nodding before I can finish my sentence. âYes, he did. Well, part of his suspension is he still had to go to class, which is just the ultimate punishment for Arch. He hates it here.â
âWhy?â The word pops out of my mouth like I have no control, but what she said is so shocking. âHeâs a Lancaster. He should be having the time of his life.â
âHeâs bored. Too smart for his own good.â Edie ducks her head, staring at her salad for a moment before she lifts her gaze to mine once more. âYour dad is Ralph, right?â
I nod.
âI have a question.â
I wait, apprehension filling me.
âWhen is he going to hook the kitchen up with those juicy tomatoes growing in his garden, huh?â
Iâm laughing. And Iâm also having a realization. Sheâs known exactly who I was since the moment she stood behind me in line at the salad bar.
âI donât know,â I tell her truthfully. âBut heâs good friends with Kathy who works in the kitchen, so Iâm sure heâll provide them with tomatoes soon enough.â
Edie is grinning. âGood.â
We eat in silence once more, curiosity gnawing at my insides until I canât take it anymore.
âCan I ask you a question?â
âSure.â She waits expectantly.
âWhat exactly were you talking about, Arch being suspended because of me? And that he still had to go to class?â
âHe confessed all at our most recent family luncheon.â Edie shrugs one shoulder, seemingly uncomfortable. âI guess Matthews let our father know what happened and Arch got drilled about it.â
âMatthews let your father know what?â
âThat Arch said something rude to you and you two got into anâ¦altercation, I believe is the word he used to describe it. And that Arch was suspended.â
Iâm gaping at her, her words on repeat in my mind. âI was the one who was suspended.â
Her eyes go wide with shock. âNo way. What did you do?â
I squirm in my seat, not wanting to admit what happened. Is she drilling me for information? Is she going to take what I say and somehow use it against me? I donât know her. I shouldnât trust her.
âI slapped him in the face.â
Yet here I am, making my confession like sheâs my closest friend.
Edieâs eyes go even wider. âYou slapped him?â
I nod.
âYou look like the type of person who wouldnât harm a fly.â
Something keeps me from admitting what he said. How far he pushed me. Instead, I offer up a shrug, just like she did only moments ago. âArch deserved it.â
âIâm sure he did,â Edie murmurs, her gaze lighting up with an unfamiliar gleam. âImpressive.â
Is that respect I see glowing in her eyes? For slapping her brother?
Yes, I think it is.
âIs that why you approached me in the salad bar line?â I brace myself, ready to be hurt by her words. Worse, ready for her to leave me and Iâll go back to eating lunch alone.
Like usual.
âBecause of your brother?â I continue when she still hasnât responded.
âI was curious to talk to the quiet girl who got my brother suspended,â she admits. âAnd now that I have, I must admit, Iâm surprised.â
âSurprised by what?â
âYou. Youâre not what I expected.â
âIâm still confused over how he got suspended when Iâm the one who hit him.â
âSounds like thatâs something you need to take up with Matthews,â Edie suggests.
âI should.â Iâll talk to him tomorrow morning, during second period. I need to know what happened.
I deserve to know.
âEdie, what the hell are you doing?â
We both jerk our heads up to find Arch standing beside our table, the anger on his face unmistakable.
âOh, mind your business, Arch.â Edie flicks her fingers in a dismissive gesture. âGo back to Cadence.â
Hearing her name said out loud to Arch makes my stomach ache for some weird reason.
âFuck off, Edith.â Arch turns to me, unleashing his furious gaze in my direction. I remain rigid in my seat, desperate not to cave. âYou get nowhere with me so you thought youâd hang out with my sister instead?â
His words are offensive, no surprise. âShe approached me first.â
âRight.â He snorts, his disbelief obvious. âNext thing I know youâll be hanging out with my friend group and going out with JJ.â
I wrinkle my nose. Edie bursts out laughing.
âGross. JJ is disgusting. She would never stoop so low,â Edie says.
âYou donât know her that well,â Arch says, never taking his gaze off me. âJJ might be more her style. And heâs always enjoyed slumming.â
Edie makes a disgusted noise while I leap to my feet like I have no control over myself, thrusting my face in his. Which is difficult because heâs so much taller than me.
âYouâre an asshole,â I murmur between clenched teeth, hating how my heart is in freefall at his nearness. At the unmistakable anger blazing in his beautiful blue eyes.
Why does he provoke me all the time? And why do I enjoy arguing with him?
âSo you keep telling me,â he returns, sounding pleased. âI know just how to get under your skin, donât I, Daze? Guess it doesnât take much to trip up the schoolâs golden girl.â
My breaths come heavier and my mouth grows dry, making it difficult to speak.
âWhat, no fighting words? I figured after the slap youâd learn how to defend yourself better, at least verbally.â He steps even closer, his body nudging into mine and a rush of tingles sweeps over my skin at the contact.
I back away, unsettled. Shaky. âI hate you.â
His grin could belong on Satanâs face. âGood. I donât like you either. Stay away from me. And my family.â
I glance over at Edie, whoâs mouthing the words, Iâm sorry, her eyes full of sadness. She bends her arm and jabs her elbow into her brotherâs side, but he doesnât even flinch.
Heâs heartless. Cold. Unstoppable. And when heâs got his sights set on me?
Iâm meaningless.
Nothing.
Holding back the sob that wants to escape, I turn around.
And run out of the dining hall. Never once looking back.
Too afraid to see the devil laughing as I run away from him.