After having spent one hour in crafts, I had managed to fill two pages with marker sketches in my new sketchbook. When I arrived back in the arts loft after seeing Ms. Lou, Ms. Sammy came up to me and handed me a white sketch pad and a 10-pack of Crayola washable markers, telling me that the lady at baggage claim 'put in a good word' for me. I was very surprised and oddly touched that this woman had noticed my issue with my pencils and had actually remembered and told Ms. Sammy. I made a mental note to thank her when I saw her next, feeling guilty that I didn't know her name.
While I was actually having a decent time drawing, it was of course interrupted by the well-known whistle that I'm sure everyone is tired of by now. "Okay, guys! It's time to go ahead and get our room cleaned so that we can go get some lunch! Go go go! I'm hungry!" I started to feel a headache forming as she continued to talk to us like preschoolers, which was only amplified when she turned around and clicked on a speaker, which started blasting 'the cleanup song' in its full glory. Thankfully, I had only been drawing so I quickly placed all of my markers back in their box and closed my sketchbook and walked back downstairs to wait.
"Bruh I wish that btch would just stf up." I felt the couch cushion move as another kid sat down next to me on the couch, just a couple feet away. I let out a small snort, resting my head on the back of the couch and closing my eyes. "No shit." I replied. "No seriously you have no idea how pumped I am to walk in a herd of suicidal teenage boys down to a rainbow cafeteria just to eat Dino nuggets and applesauce." This time I gave a tired grin and opened my eyes to see the same redhead from yesterday who was shouting during our assembly.
"Darien, right?" I moved my head to the side to face him, loosely sticking out my hand. He sat up and dapped me up, still showing the same pissed expression. "Yeah, what about you? I swear you haven't spoken like once since you got off the bus. Except with that 'dom' kid that probably has a weird crush on you." I let out a small, surprised laugh. This kid really spoke his mind, which I found oddly comfortable. "Uh, I'm jasper and that 'kid's' Ezra." He took his hand back and flopped backwards onto the other side of the couch, this time with a calmer expression. "So do you like him back? Because from what I can tell he's definitely a real dom." This time I sat up a little, feeling slightly taken aback. "What do you mean a real dom?" He shrugged, like I should know. "Like one of the kids who came here because of this program. He probably knew he was a dom before he got here." I stared with my eyebrow raised, feeling incredibly confused. "What?" He just nodded, like he finally understood I didn't know what he was talking about.
"Well I don't know if you have noticed, but plenty of the kids here are actually interested in the BDSM program and came here because of it, most likely looking for a dom or sub. But the only ones allowed in had to actually qualify as a patient, so a lot of them probably got into it from other therapy treatments that referred them here. Like the Ezra kid, who was totally trying to 'daddy' you all during breakfast." I sat still, shocked and unsure of what to say. At first I didn't think he was right but then I started to think about some of the kids that I had seen here, like some of the other boys who carried stuffed animals and wore kid-ish clothes and pull-ups to bed. And then suddenly I also remembered how Ezra was acting and how sad he looked when I told him I didn't want to go through with any of it and how much he was trying to do things for me. And also of course the part when he tried to order me around. Correction: DID order me around.
"Holy fck." I slouched back into the couch and put my hands in my pockets, thinking things through. Does this mean that my parents knew about it? Did they know that they signed me up into a BDSM program for sick kids? "Wait, how do you even know all of this?" I turned my head back to Darien, waiting for an answer. "Well, I didn't want to come here. I've been in therapy for a few years now and my therapist told me that age regression would help me, and I just kind of let her do whatever and I ended up slipping a couple times. It's really not that bad but I didn't want to like make a lifestyle out of it or anything, but she said that I was ready and that this was a 'next step' in my recovery. So, my parents sent me here. But she told me that most of the people who get in are sent from therapists who think their patients would respond well to one of the categories and that it's apparently highly successful." I noticed he looked away after mentioning he was a little, which I have to admit surprised me a little bit.
I didn't want him to think I would judge, so I tried to lighten the mood. "To be honest, I was completely shocked when I got here. I haven't had any treatment in a while and when I did I was never told about any of this. My parents just told me I was leaving a few days ago and drove me to the bus and I don't even know if they knew what they were signing me up for." He didn't say anything so I continued. "I mean, I have a few friends who are littles and stuff and it helps them, but I don't know if it's for me. I at least would have liked to have been told what was going on before I was asked to just go along with everything, you know?" I glanced over at him and he nodded, seeming a lot more relaxed.
"So, are you going to do it or not?" He looked back at me with a casual expression. "Uh... to be honest, I don't know. Probably not... but it can't hurt, right?" I stared at the wall, honestly thinking it over. If I did choose to do it, would that mean that one of the other kids would take care of me? Would I be able to choose if I am big or not? What happens when I leave, will I still act like a kid sometimes?
"Okay boys, thank you for waiting, now let's go eat!" Before I could continue my thoughts or ask Darien what he was going to do, Ms. Sammy was back downstairs with the rest of the boys' group. I stood up and so did Darien and we both silently shuffled in with the rest of the group as she led us all back outside.
"Psssttt..." I nudged my shoulder lightly into Darien's as we were walking back down the trail to the cafeteria. "What about you?" I whispered, continuing our conversation. "Uh. We'll see." He continued walking with his hands in his pockets, looking thoughtfully at the ground. I nodded and we kept walking until we reached the main building. When we reached the cafeteria we went to the sub's line and each got a pb&j and went and sat next to each other at our table. I was about to pick up my sandwich when Darien smirked and nudged my hand, not looking up and I quickly realized what he meant when someone else sat across from me.
"Hey." I peered up with a half smile, and nodded my chin at him. "Hey." I looked back down at my food and picked up my sandwich. "I'm Ezra." He lifted his hand in Darien's direction across the table, who shook it and nodded his chin. "I know. I'm Darien. Are you planning on matching with him?" I let a short chuckle out of my nose and kept eating, waiting for his response. "Nice to meet you. And I guess that depends on what he decides." He had on a really attractive smile as he dropped Darien's hand and picked up his own sandwich, this time staring at me as he ate.
This time I felt my ears heat up against my will, and I just continued to lightly nibble on my pb&j, hoping they wouldn't notice. "Hey, since you're a dom and we're friends now, d'you think you could go over and get me a coke? I haven't had anything carbonated since yesterday." Darien stared hopefully at Ezra, almost looking like some kind of junkie. "Hmmm... if you eat three more bites of your sandwich and go get a cup for me to pour it in." Ezra looked back at him with a raised brow, suddenly making the atmosphere very childlike for Darien.
"Fck you." I watched as Darien quickly shoved three more bites of pb&j and stood to walk over to the sub's buffet after narrowing his eyes at Ezra, who just gave a tiny satisfied smile. "Now if only you were that obedient." This time I did choke on my lunch a little bit, not expecting that comment at all. His grin quickly changed into a slightly worried expression as he reached over and patted my back, which I swatted away. "Chew your food." He grumbled a little bit, and I scowled back at him. "I did." He stared at me intently for a couple of seconds before Darien came back over and clacked a plastic cup on the table, which Ezra responded to by swinging his legs over the bench and standing up to quickly stride across the cafeteria.
"I think you should try it. With him, I mean. He seems alright, especially for you. He's a little annoying with how responsible he tries to be, though." Darien sat with his forearms on the table, and his hands clasped together expectantly. "He shared a smoke with me on the bus." I had a matter-of-fact tone as I took another small bite of my sandwich, only looking up when Darien didn't say anything, which ended up being because he had an 'are you fr?' face on, looking almost impressed. "Huh. Maybe he didn't know you were a little yet." This made me freeze for a moment, thinking it over. "What do you mean maybe? Do I look like a little?" I put my food down and stared at him with slightly wide eyes, making him snicker. "Hey, don't look so offended. You don't unless someone who's either a little or a caregiver dom looks at you for a minute. It's a feeling." He shrugged, like he couldn't really explain further. "Well, would you have thought so if you met me before I was sorted?" He scoffed, looking amused. "I knew when I saw you on the bus. I honestly thought you came here on purpose, too." My jaw silently fell, as I sat there and took in this information, unsure what to think.
Clank. "Here. Give me your cup." Ezra came and sat back down, a diet coke on the table in front of him with his hand outstretched for the pink plastic cup that Darien had just gotten from the buffet. Darien scowled and slid it over to him, practically drooling at the sight of the brown foam in the cup. "I don't think this no soda thing will work for me. I'm talking to Ms. Sammy about this after lunch. I'll eat whatever but there's no way I can give up my carbonation." We both watched as he gulped down the coke eagerly, looking content. "Jesus, slow down, that's all you're getting. I'm not even supposed to give you any." Ezra just shook his head, looking amazed while I couldn't help but stare at him, feeling skeptical.
"What?" Ezra caught me looking at him and raised a brow with an amused expression. "Did you think I was a little on the bus?" I decided to just be blunt like Darien, seeing as though Ezra takes those interactions well. I stared at him as he smiled, looking thoughtful. "I mean I had my suspicions. I probably wouldn't have asked you for a light if I knew just by looking at you." He shrugged, like it was no big deal to him as he picked up his sandwich and kept eating. "How responsible. Good dom-ing." I remarked sarcastically. This time, it was his turn to scowl. "Okay, bud, just eat some more of your lunch and finish up. It's almost time to go." I started to roll my eyes but then I felt a jolt of something cold on my face, which ended up being a wet wipe in Ezra's hand.
"Hey!" I jerked back a little and smacked his hand away, this time a playful frown on my face. "You have peanut butter and jelly all over yourself. It's even on your shirt!" He found this quite funny, of course as I felt my cheeks turn a subtle shade of pink. I've always been a messy eater and of course it's always been a little embarrassing but this just was entirely the wrong time and place to get JELLY on my shirt. "Fck. It's your fault for distracting me." I gestured my hand vaguely between the two of them, earning some muffled laughter from both of the two boys.
"C'mon, I'll take you to the bathroom." Ezra had already started to stand up from the table, seemingly expecting me to get up and follow him. Instead, I sat there stubbornly. No way was I going to give up this fast. "It won't take long. I'll be quick." He gave me a smile and gestured with his head towards the door. I kept my place and stared back at him, scowling. Suddenly I felt a kick at my shoe. I looked across from me where Darien was smirking and raising his eyebrows towards Ezra. His face seemed to say 'What are you waiting for?' I thought for a moment and sighed before quickly getting up and walking towards the door without waiting for him to catch up.
In the hallway, he managed to catch up to me and was now walking beside me. "Are you always a messy eater?" He joked, not looking at me. "No." I lied. "You were distracting me." I said it jokingly and bumped my shoulder into his arm. "Bullshit." He grinned, looking over at me now. "I thought you weren't supposed to cuss around blue-bands?" I raised my eyebrow at him, just trying to be a little annoying. "Well you look big to me at the moment." He ruffled my hair and this time I felt my stomach hurt a little again and my cheeks heat up. I didn't want to think about the alternative that he was suggesting. I didn't say anything in response and it was silent until we reached the bathroom a minute or two later.
"Okay, give me your sleeve." Once in front of the sinks, he held his hand out towards my arm. "I think I've got it." I replied sarcastically. "No, I can do it." This time he went to gently grab my arm, but I pulled it back. " I said I've got it, asshole." I was half joking with this, and hoping he would leave me be and let me do it myself. He was silent as he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, as if he had given up. I triumphantly turned back to the faucet but before I could start the water, he spoke again. " Why won't you just let me? I'm not going to do anything, you know." I stopped trying to wash my sleeve and stood there, thinking of what to say. "Yesterday I didn't even know I would have to. I'm pretty sure you know all about all of this, but I don't and I don't know how to just do it. Maybe I'll actually try at some point." I shrugged, still not looking at him. After a moment, I saw him walk over through the mirror. I was still looking down when he gently held his hand out by the sink.
" Can we try now? No pressure, but I promise it won't be so bad." I looked up at the mirror and he had a really soft expression that I hadn't seen before, which made me feel a little bit safer. So I nodded and placed my hand in his. He smiled at the touch and slowly moved closer to stand at my side facing the sink. I didn't say anything as he gently ran the water and moved my hands under the faucet and rubbed them clean. I noticed that it actually felt comforting once I relaxed and let him do it for me. So after a few seconds when I was feeling a lot more at ease, I decided to make the mood lighter again. He yelped as I splashed water at him and grinned. "Oops." My smile grew wider as he locked eyes with me in the mirror and tried to splash me back. This time I was prepared and I moved out of the way, causing the water to go on the floor. We continued going back and forth for a few more moments, laughing a little bit by the end.
"Okay, you got me. Now let me just get your shirt and I'll be done." He was still smiling as he wet a paper towel and blotted at the spots on my arms. Then, he turned to me and aimed for the spot on my chest. deciding to continue my plan on being difficult, I stepped back. He let out a breath and stepped forwards. When he got close again, I tried to step back again. Except this time, I completely forgot about the soaked floor and slipped backwards, falling against the wall. Without hesitation, he quickly stepped forwards and caught me, also against the wall.
I pulled my feet towards me to support myself and Looked up, waiting for him to move. My cheeks started to burn again when he stared back down at me, just a few inches from my face. "Sorry." He said, still not moving. I didn't say anything, continuing to stare at him. A part of me didn't really want him to move. Instead, I reached up and put my hand around the back of his neck, gently pulling him closer. "Can I?" I whispered. He glanced at my lips and moved much closer, nodding before pressing his lips to mine. My whole body felt the signals from my lips as I leaned closer, trying to say I didn't want him to pull back yet. I felt his tongue against my mouth, asking permission. After a few moments, I decided to give in, knowing I wanted it anyway.
I opened my mouth and he gently went in, taking over my mouth as I let him. I pulled his body against mine, with my other arm snaking around his waist, locking our hips together. He then trailed both of his arms to my back, and slowly slid them under my shirt. I shivered at the cold, wet touch and I felt him smile at that, which made my stomach do a flip. After another minute of this, he slowly pulled back, breathing a little hard, and placed his forehead against the wall.
I, on the other hand, was breathing very hard with my chest rising up and down deeply. "You good?" He smirked, looking over at me with his head still on the wall. "Shut up." I gave a half smile, just starting to get control of my breathing. We stood like that for a few seconds before he pulled his hands out from beneath my shirt and waited for my hands to fall to my sides limply before picking up the wet paper towel from the sink. I stayed slumped against the wall, too content to argue as he wiped up my shirt.
"There. Now that wasn't so bad." He grinned, pleased with himself as I scoffed jokingly and looked away, waiting for him to move away. But suddenly I blinked when I felt him briefly kiss my forehead, again as if I was a child. This time, embarrassingly enough, my ears and face heated up immensely as he walked back over to the mirror casually, as if nothing had happened. I stayed against the wall for a moment before deciding to also ignore it.
I let out a small laugh when I saw my reflection in the mirror. I looked like I had most definitely just sucked face in a bathroom. "Oh. Shit." He grinned sheepishly while I quickly washed my face and fixed my clothes while he did the same. " It's passable." He concluded after we both stood in the mirror staring at ourselves. I sighed and walked towards the door, again not waiting for him to catch up, though also knowing he wouldn't have a problem with his long legs.
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