My blood is still boiling by the next day at school.
I tried to ignore it, and even spent the entire night dancing to a random list on Apple Music because thatâs the only thing that usually gets me out of my funk.
It helps push the fog away.
However, I was too agitated and red with anger for the fog to come. It was burned and turned into nothingness.
I barely managed to sleep after what happened in Elsaâs house. It kept replaying at the back of my head on a loop, no matter how much I wanted to push it away.
Even now, as I sit next to Elsa, I can almost feel Xanderâs breath mingling with mine, his threats rolling off my skin like a promise meant to cut. I can smell him on me, intertwined with mint and fresh laundry and ocean scent, even though Iâve taken three showers since yesterday.
What the hell. Seriously?
âKim?â Elsa waves a hand in front of my face.
âHuh?â I sound as distracted as I feel.
âDid you hear a word I said?â she asks with a tone that implies she knows I didnât.
This is Elsaâs first day back at school. Iâm supposed to be her wingman, but Iâm totally failing at that.
âSorry. I didnât sleep much last night.â A certain face and voice kept me up, and I might have stalked his window.
When he drove me and Kir home, I sat with Kir in the back, ignoring Xanderâs glare, and then he went out and didnât return.
At least, not until I fell asleep re-watching somewhere after one in the morning.
Not that I watch him all the time. I told you, I just notice things.
Like right now, he isnât here yet, even though the class is about to start.
Xander isnât the brightest one amongst the horsemen, but he always has good grades in spite of skipping classes.
This must be one of the days he sleeps in.
âHere.â I push my notebooks at Elsa. âI highlighted all the sections you missed. If you need anything else, Iâm your girl.â
âI donât know what I wouldâve done without you.â Elsa rubs my arm with a warm smile. âYouâre the best.â
âNo, I am.â Aidenâs voice halts my small victory dance at Elsaâs words.
He stands before her desk and taps his finger in front of her. âI told you Iâd drive you.â
âAnd I told you Kim would do it.â Elsa stares up at him meeting his harsh stare with her unyielding one.
Aiden King is a ruler here, and although we were basically brought up together, he always gave me the chills, real ones, not those mixed with chaotic emotions like Xander gives me.
The moment he glares, everyone has the urge to blend with the walls or dig a grave and bury themselves in it â me included.
Elsa is possibly the only one who doesnât bow down to his authority, not even when he was her worst nightmare. Maybe thatâs why he looks at her as if sheâs his world and heâll unleash hell on everyone else just to see her smile.
Heâs the type of king whoâll start wars for his queen.
As scary as Aiden is, I love the way he looks at Elsa, the way his brows soften under his hard face, the way he tells her without words that heâs hers as much as sheâs his.
Iâve been watching them since they began, and I fell in love with them together worse than a fangirl falling for fictional heroes in romance novels.
The fangirl is me, by the way. I have more book boyfriends than I can count. Donât judge.
âHmm.â He strokes a strand of hair behind her ear. âYouâll pay for that later, sweetheart.â
âShow me your worst, Aiden.â
God. Itâs so unfair to watch this and know itâll never happen to me.
Can I bury myself somewhere, please?
He grabs her arm. âLet me show you now.â
âClass is about to begin,â she hisses.
âKeyword being .â He pulls her into his side.
Elsaâs face heats as she mouths âsorryâ to me while Aiden drags her behind him caveman style.
Sigh.
I should probably start writing romance fanfiction and feed this hungry monster inside me.
I bury my head in my notebook, the one Aiden forced Elsa to leave behind, and sigh again.
Thatâs when I notice him, or rather, hear him. His laughter echoes around me like a song, the type you canât get out of your head no matter how much you hear it. You always find yourself yearning for it, wanting more of it, like a bloody addict.
Then the beautiful song is tainted by another sound, a squeaky shrill laughter that breaks the songâs melody to bloody pieces.
One of Silverâs minions hangs on to Xanderâs arm as she fixes his uniformâs tie. His hair is dishevelled and lipstick marks cover the collar of his shirt as if heâs out of a fucking session.
He tucks a strand of Veronicaâs fake blonde hair behind her ear like theyâre just fixing each otherâs attire.
Or rather, fixing each other.
My grip turns deadly on the edge of the notebook as I lower my head. I want to vomit and for a different reason than the apple I had for breakfast.
Scenes like these arenât new to me. Iâve witnessed them time and again during the years. Iâve seen him cosy and playful with half the girls in school, and Iâve heard about his adventures more times than I wanted to.
However, to know that he went to her right after he told me those words yesterday, right after he drove me home, makes my cheeks redden with exertion.
That must be why he did all of this in the first place, and I wonât give him the joy of seeing me crumble.
He slaps Veronicaâs arse, sending her to her seat as he rounds the corner to the back. Not once does he look at me or acknowledge me. If I hadnât spent the whole night thinking about that scene at the bathroom, Iâd start believing itâs a play of my imagination.
Veronica giggles like a strip club dancer on crack, or at least, thatâs how I imagine strip club dancers on crack sound.
Instead of sitting beside her eager friend Summer, her gaze meets mine.
Shit. She caught me staring.
âWhat are you looking at, you fat pig?â she snarls, flinging her pointy fingernails at me.
If it were any other time, I would bow my head and pray sheâd stop. If Elsa were here, she wouldâve given her a piece of her mind, but Iâm neither the old Kim nor is Elsa going to fight my battles for me for eternity.
âOh, it was you. Iâm sorry, I thought it was a street light walking into class.â I grin, then this time, I do focus on my notebook.
If I speak to Veronica more, Iâll be tempted to fight her, and thatâs probably the most stupid thought my brain can conjure.
Shut up, brain.
âWhat did you just say?â Veronica gasps like a drama queen in K-dramas.
âIf you have a hearing problem, you might want to fix it.â
She stomps in my direction and my body stiffens, but I stay my ground. âYou fat pig, you must think youâre all that since Ronan is protecting you as if youâre his little lamb, but youâre nothing without him around. Youâre just a wannabe fat bitch.â
My entire body tightens, but I donât let those destructive thoughts out. Instead, I give her a taunting smile. âSomeone is jealous.â
âWhat the hell did you just say?â
âI told you, Veronica. Fix your hearing problem, then you might want to fix your personality while youâre at it.â
She lifts her hand and hits me hard across the face, making me reel in my chair. The sting burns as gasps echo around the class. Iâm so shocked, my hand flies to my cheek, feeling around the heated skin.
Iâve always been the victim of pranks at school, the worst of all having a bucket of paint poured all over me, but no one, no bloody one, has ever put their hands on me. Violence is the last thing that can be condoned in an elite school like RES.
Xander approaches us, but before he comes closer and takes his Barbieâs side, I punch her in the face. Itâs not a slap or pulling of hairs â I straight out drive my fist into her nose.
I donât even stop to think about it.
Instinct. This must be what it feels like. A bit impulsive, a lot liberating.
I feel the crack before I hear it. From Veronica, not me. Her face contorts and she shrieks as blood trickles down her nose and over her violet-painted lips, smudged by Xanderâs kiss.
The sight of her blood freezes me in place. My hand remains motionless, still in a fist, as if it canât be moved or flexed.
Blood.
Red.
Messy.
Oh, Shit. I think Iâm going to faint.
The image of my own blood oozing out slow but steady assaults me. It wonât stop. It wonât even disappear.
Itâs there. Itâs going to end now.
Maybe Mum will find me. Maybe Mari will.
Please donât let Kir see me this way.
Donât have him remember me as a ghost of myself.
âKimmy.â The masculine voice pulls from my vision and I breathe harshly as if Iâm coming out from a wave.
Ronan grabs both my shoulders, shaking me as my hand clutches my scarred wrist.
It didnât happen.
Itâs not happening, right? Iâm not losing blood.
Oh, God. Whatâs wrong with me?
âAre you okay?â Ronan shakes me softly again. âIâm going to get you out of here.â
I donât say anything as he drags me out. I faintly hear murmurs surrounding us, lots of them. They crumble and turn into the giant fog thatâs gradually creeping to snatch my soul.
Veronicaâs shrill voice cuts in behind me like blades. I stare back at her, at the blood running down her face and soaking the hem of her shirt. Sheâs struggling against Cole, whoâs effortlessly stopping her with a hand.
Xander stands beside them, not bothering with her or her hysterical state. All his attention is on me as Ronan wraps an arm around my shoulder and drags me away.
As the world focuses on Veronica and my slow retreat, heâs concentrating on the hand thatâs gripping my scarred wrist.
An itch pushes me to let go, but I canât. If I do, blood will come out.
Iâll bleed out.
Xander watches my hand and then my face as if he knows exactly what Iâm thinking about.
As I round the corner, he whispers without words, âI see you.â
Iâve never been so scared in my entire life.