People always made such a big deal of being married. Amhuinn had never been to London, and she personally never wanted to go, but Evie had told her many stories of how the Season was considered the hottest of the year, and they had something called the 'marriage mart' where men and women alike hunted for marriages. A women, in London, was apparently considered 'on the shelf' if they were unmarried by Amhuinn's age. With the stories, and even before, Amhuinn had always considered if being one's wife would change anything, but now she realized, two weeks after their ceremony, that it really didn't change much.
Once the ceremony on the hill had been done, they had all retired to the great hall where they shared the communal meal, and everyone then broke up for the rest of the day. For the day, Amhuinn had been busy moving what little belongings she had to the new chambers she was supposed to share with Hammond, before she went to the kitchens with Mrs. Griselda and was reintroduced as the new lady of the keep. Amhuinn had wanted to skip that part, but the old housekeeper was insistent.
From then on, she had learned that her duties included the upkeep of the great hall while the maids and Mrs. Griselda would deal with the rooms. Meals would be planned by her, as would any celebrations. Amhuinn had also made it her wish to continue as the healer of the clan, but other then that, not much had change.
Well, not everything. She thought to herself, as she rolled awake, groaning when the sun hit her still closed lids.
As she turned to her left, Amhuinn tried to ignore the sinking sensation that her bed was, once again empty. Oh, don't get her wrong. Hammond was a very attentive husband. Her cheeks would still flush when she thought about their wedding night. To his credit, Hammond knew of her story, and had been very gentle to her. He had calmed Amhuinn's nervous jitters, and kissed her till she melted into a puddle in his hands. Only then did he slowly peel off her clothing, and proceed to show her why exactly her mother had said that one's wedding night was to be wonderful. Just thinking about it made her skin tingle with excitement.
But therein lay the problem.
While Hammond was attentive as a husband, Amhuinn was beginning to realize that that was the only time she ever got her husband's full attention. And for someone who had come to terms with the fact that she had fallen quite irrevocably in love with one's spouse, it was becoming quite difficult to accept the fact that her husband would only devour her with her eyes when the sun set and they were alone in their chambers. Outside of their doors, he may as well have been an acquaintance, for all that he spoke to her. He came to her without fail every night for the past two weeks since they had been married. Under the covers of the night, Hammond clung to her like he couldn't imagine being apart. He loved her till she was sore whenever she woke up. But whenever she woke up, he was never to be seen, not until the final meal of the day where he would enter the Keep, disheveled and looking tired.
They had sent Evie off to London with Connor just two days after their wedding, and Tristan was now acting as first-in-command. Tamhas had been taken under Hammond's wing to be trained, and Adair was happily with the page boys. Amhuinn made it a point to check on him everyday, and it heartened her to see that her son no longer shied away when she asked how was his day. He actually gave her a proper answer yesterday! At least one person is excited to see me, she wryly thought to herself, as she got up to dress. She had denied the need for a maid. Amhuinn just didn't see a point, since she's been fine for the past four years herself.
Putting on her serviceable brown dress and pulling her new MacKenzie clan kilt under her belt, she picked up her basket and headed out, intending to replenish her collection of herbs. But all of that was done on autopilot, as her head ran with ideas, trying her best to figure out what was going on with her husband. After all, Hammond looked to be a willing groom, did he not? They had shared tender moments where she was almost sure he looked at her with love in his honey brown eyes. And he had ask her to marry him, for she was quite sure she did not dream up the past two weeks.
So what is wrong with the blasted MacKenzie? Amhuinn grumbled internally to herself, as she pushed open the main doors of the Keep, relishing stepping into the warm rays of sun that was rare in the Highlands.
Almost immediately, she was greeted by her brother. Amhuinn was happy to see Tamhas looking less grouchy, and with more color in his face lately. "Ammi, ye off ter get yerself more herbs?"
"Aye, we're running low, and yer all getting yerselves injured faster then I can make my salves. Slow down, would ye not?" she teased. Tamhas started laughing, and Amhuinn grinned before she hesitantly asked. "Have ye... Have ye seen Hammond around?"
"Ye should have a better track of yer husband, sister." Tamhas teased this time, and then raised his brows when he saw the rather irritated look of his sister. He was not so dense as to not recognize his own sibling's moods. "What's the matter, Ammi? Have ye had yer first argument already?"
Amhuinn frowned, debating if she should tell her brother. "Nae matter, brother. I just woke up later then I thought I would today, is all." she finally decided against it, figuring Tamhas wouldn't see the problem. Bidding him goodbye, she walked off, wishing Evie was still around. Gillian was around, but the young MacKenzie was so wrapped up in her workshop that she was barely around. She wasn't kidding when she said she handed over the care of her brother to Amhuinn.
---
"Fer a newly wed, why are ye spending so much time here anyhow?" Isaac asked.
The men were all gathered in the courtyard after a morning training session, drenched in their own sweat. From a corner, servant girls could be seen whispering to each other as they openly ogled the shirtless men. The cheekier ones could be seen teasing the servants, but Hammond kept to himself, with Tristan and Isaac next to him as they sloshed water on their bare chests.
"I dinna see why marriage would mean I would need ter spend all my time inside. I have a clan ter care fer, and I definitely canna miss my training." Hammond responds, but Tristan doesn't miss the way in which his laird averted gazes from both of them.
He raised his brows. "And what exactly are ye trying ter avoid, Hammond? Don't lie ter me. You, me and Connor grew up together, dinna think I wouldna know when yer avoiding something."
Hammond would've replied, had a female voice not piped up. "He's avoiding himself, of course."
"Gilly!" Hammond cursed internally when he recognized the voice, and instantly turned to see his brash, headstrong sister casually strolling into the courtyard as if it did not consist of half a dozen half naked men for now. "There's a reason why I situated yer workshop on the other side of the Keep. I warned ye ter stay oot of this area!"
"This is my home as much as it is yers, big brother. I dinna see why IÂ should stay oot of certain places." Gillian replied breezily, as the men hurriedly started to put on their still-damp clothes once they realized Gillian was around.
Sometimes, Hammond wonders how he had not died from an aneurysm, with how headstrong his sister was. He scowled, grabbing her arms to drag her a distance away before turning on her with a glare. "Tis oor training grounds, Gilly. It would do ye nae good ter go near there. Ye may get hurt!"
"They wouldn't harm a hair on my head, and ye know that Hammond." the redhead crossed her arms and raised a wry brow at her elder brother. "Now would ye mind telling me why ye have left Ammi ter spend everyday by herself o'er the past two weeks?"
"I..." Hammond searched wildly for the words. "We were busy." It sounded horrible, even to his ears, and sure enough Gillian didn't buy into the excuse.
"If there was anything Mama and Papa left fer us, tis that we dinna treat oor family that way. And I'm quite sure Ammi counts as family now! Between you and Adair, I dinna know which one is breaking her heart more." the spitfire scolded.
The reminder that he may actually be hurting her makes a flash of regret cross Hammond's face. Was he truly? Gillian didn't give him much chance to contemplate however, as she shoves a basket he did not realize she had been holding.
"Would ye grab Adair and go and look fer her now? The poor lass is oot all alone collecting her herbs. Other then Griselda, I dinna think she talks to anyone else much. Ye canna just bring a lassie ter a new clan and leave her ter fend fer herself, tis not like ye, Hammond!"
As if the truth was tossed at his head, as Hammond stared at the basket filled with cold cuts, bannocks and sliced cheeses, he felt the regret and guilt pulsating through his chest. He should treat his wife right, should he not? Or at the very least, get her on equal terms with her own, estranged son.
"Where did ye say she would be?"
---
The breeze easily picked up Amhuinn's blonde locks, teasing and yanking them out of the loose ponytail she had trussed them up in. Before long, as she knelt down carefully pinching off heads of particular herbs she needed, her hair flew helter skelter in any direction the wind brought them in. The rustle of the leaves and grass combined with the howling of the famous Highland winds made her not even realize the approach of two pairs of feet, until a husky, deep voice that Amhuinn knew and loved made her almost stumble, had a pair of arms not catch her waist quick enough.
When she turned, her blue eyes collided with a warm, honeyed gaze, and Amhuinn wanted to curse how she flushed almost immediately at the knowing eyes she stared at each night when he brought her to the heights of pleasure she never knew one could achieve. "Sorry if we startled ye. Thought ye could use some food, since tis almost noon. Brought along a guest too, if ye dinna mind."
When she looked down, Amhuinn was surprised and slightly shocked to find the blonde head so similar to hers standing there staring at the two of them. "Adair?" she untangled herself quickly from Hammond's hold (with mild regret), turning to bend down. "Yer joining us fer a picnic?"
He hesitated, but nodded. "Laird MacKenzie said I would enjoy meself. I... I ne'er was allowed oot ter play when I was alone."
"Is there anywhere ye like ter go, lad?" Hammond asked. Amhuinn could've kissed the daylights out of him for actually thinking to ask his opinion. Adair looked like someone had handed him a platter of desserts for him to choose from.
"Is... is there a river or lake nearby? I've ne'er seen one in real life afore." he asked a little breathlessly.
---
Adair was a lucky boy.
The Fairy Glen where Hammond had explained was where Connor and Evie had gotten married hadn't been too far from where they had been, and he had decided to bring them there. A short trek through a trail lined with gnarly trees later, Adair let out a joyful yell when the view of a lake loomed, and the trail opened up to a large green expanse that looked untouched by man.
Amhuinn resisted yelling after Adair to be careful, and instead she worked with Hammond to open up the picnic blanket they had brought along to spread the food Hammond had in his basket. It felt odd to Amhuinn to be working so closely but silently with someone who she technically gave her soul, love and body too. She couldn't help but sneak glances at him, wondering at how he too could keep such silence, even when they've shared multiple passionate nights. Finally unable to keep it in anymore, Amhuinn cleared her throat.
"H-How have ye been?" she asked tentatively. Internally, she scolded herself. She saw him everyday, what sort of a question was that!
Her heart did a somersault when he looked up and gave his crooked smile. "What do ye mean, Ammi? Yer with me every night."
She paused in her act of pulling out a wrapped package of sandwiches. "Yer ne'er at home. I barely speak ter ye, Hammond. I dinna know ye more then I know Connor or Tristan. I know Gilly better then ye."
A pang hit Hammond's heart at the hollow tone Amhuinn used as she spoke. She refused to meet his eyes, for if she had, he would've seen the forlorn look that now resided within his honeyed depths. He wanted to reach out to her, but his own fear held him back. Every night, he couldn't wait to get to her. But every night, for fear of appearing too needy, Hammond insisted that Connor, and then Tristan when Connor left, drank at least an hour with him before he retired abovestairs.
Even during the day ever since the day they had married, the redhead Laird itched to go to his wife. But how could he leave his clan by themselves? He had a responsibility to them, and he couldn't do what his father did to him.
"I have a duty, Ammi. I'm responsible for me clan. I thought ye would understand that." he tried to reason. But it sounded like a weak reason, even for him.
When she looked up, his heart almost stopped at the hurt that simmered within her blue irises. "I do, Hammond. But I thought ye would understand that I needed ye too."
"Dinna be difficult, Ammi." he grounded out, angry at himself that he even thought of retiring earlier some days. Somehow, his frustration translated out through his words, as he spoke. "I willna be irresponsible, and ye should understand. Tis why I thought ye would make a perfect wife fer me."
"Then ye thought wrong, Hammond MacKenzie!" she snapped, dropping a small basket filled with bannocks. Amhuinn picked up her skirts and got to her feet, the wind of the Highlands whipping her blonde locks in a swirling mass. In that split second, Hammond thought of how glorious she looked even in her anger.
"Ye thought wrong. I willna just sit by and expect yer ter come ter me. I am nae  yer plaything, nor am I ter be picked up when and if ye want, and ter be expected ter wait when yer busy. I am yer wife, MacKenzie. And I will be treated as such."
The next thing he knew, she stalked off to where Adair was crouched by the lake, and Hammond watched with a pain in his chest as she played with the young boy who shared her complexion and colors. Maybe she's right, Hammond MacKenzie, he thought to himself, but maybe amends can be made later as well.