PERCIE Eight months ago...
I hugged Emma, still unconscious in bed. âPlease, I need you. I still need you. Donât you leave me alone again? Our parents disowned me, Em. I have no one left. I lost you once, and I canât lose you again. Please, hang in there for me. Youâll have my kidney, sweetheart. Please, Emma, do this for me once again. I love you, and I canât live without you. Please? Why didnât you tell me? Whatâs with the secrecy? How about our promises of no more secrets, huh?â I cried and begged for her, hoping that maybe, she could still hear me, hoping for a miracle.
âPercie, let the doctor see Emma.â Grandma touched my shoulder. I didnât move. I couldnât let go of Emma. I ignored them and sobbed.
âSon, we have to let them treat Emma. Please, let them do whatever is necessary to help her. Time is running out, Percival.â Grandpa grabbed my arm.
âNo.â I shook my head. âYou all lied to me.â
âPercival, we need to talk to you.â I stopped and raised my head from Emmaâs body as soon as I heard the doctor.
âFollow me to my office, please?â
I sat down in the bed, looked at her one more time before I stood up. I wiped my face and walked away from Emma.
I walked back to her and kissed her forehead. âI love you Em. Iâll do everything for you. Donât give up just yet.â
âPercival, we have to call your parents and inform them about Emma. Iâm not gonna lie to you. Once they arrive, you might not be able to see Emma again,â Grandpa said regrettably as he raked his fingers through his graying hair.
âTheyâre not going to kick me out once they find out Iâm gonna donate my kidney to Emma,â I said dismissively.
âEmma has reasons why she didnât tell youââ
I cut him off. âAnd what is that? Tell me, Grandpa. Did she make you promise not to tell me about this? Tell me, what are those reasons. She fucking deserved my kidney if you just only being honest with me from the start. I could still help her before this happens. Iâm the only reason why Emma is unconscious in a hospital bed right now. This is all because of me.â
âPercie, she made her decision.â
âFuck that decision. Have you forgotten what I did to her? The reason why she has been suffering for months, itâs because of me. Donât you understand that? This is the only way I can repay her. She deserves to live than me. She has a lot of reasons to live. She has so much life ahead of her. Me? Nothing! She is the only reason why I still want to live. If I lost her again, Iâd rather die!â
Shock flashed across their faces. They hadnât said a word after that.
I went into the doctorâs room where Dr. Mills was waiting for me or us.
I slumped my ass into the chair. âDo whatâs necessary.â
âLet me be straight with you, Percival. Sheâs in a deep coma right now. Even if they start her HD right away, I canât tell you when sheâs gonna wake up. Her blood urea and creatinine are at their peaks. Her blood pressure shoots up, and still, she has no urine output.â
The universe just came crashing down on me. I understood what sheâd just told me after reading tons of medical books when Emma had SCI. I could hardly breathe. I knew what that meant.
Grandpa fished out something in his back pocket and handed a folded white paper to me.
âPercival, Emma told me to give this to you ifââ He swallowed. âIf she wonât make it.â He took a deep breath. âTake this, Percie.â
âShe will make it. I make sure of that.â I took it with a trembling hand.
I opened the paper slowly. It was Emmaâs penmanship.
A letter.
I heard Dr. Millsâ name being paged overhead. I folded the paper and slipped it into Emmaâs bag. Dr. Mills left the room immediately.
I grabbed Emmaâs backpack and left my grandparents alone in the doctorâs room. I strode my way out of the hospital without looking back.
When my phone vibrated from my jeans pocket, I knew it wasnât good news. I prepared myself for whatever it would be. I didnât bother checking the caller ID. My phone almost fell from my trembling hand after hearing Grandpaâs last words.
I loved Emma more than sheâd ever known. If it wasnât for her, I would have definitely lost myself to grief. I made a promise to her, and as much as how hard it was, I had to keep that.
I took a cab back to our hotel where I spent the last night eating her favorite ice cream that I hated. Because I lost in her game, I had to swallow each spoonful of her ice cream. Her image laughing at me rushed back at me like a strong whirl of wind.
Broken Bad Boy ï¤18 I forced myself to feel numb. I didnât want to feel anythingâI couldnât feel the pain. If I felt the pain, I would fall apart. I couldnât do this to her. I had to be strong, and to be strong was to be numb.
We went back to see Emma the very next morning to claim her from the hospital morgue.
We arrived at the airport, the very same airport where we traveled happily to New York with only one goalâ to let Emma race in the Paralympics. This time, we came back with two reasons, grief and loss.
âYou, worthless!â It was my mother, yelling after she just slapped me across my face. But I didnât feel anything. It was just like air blew on my face.
Everyone around who witnessed gasped. Who gave a fuck? I didnât even bother looking at her. I moved forward and pushed our luggage.
âYou killed Emma! You killed her! I will never forgive you! I loathed you. Youâre not my son anymore, Percival!â Mom shouted and followed me. I ignored her behind me as I continued leaving until I reached the parking area.
Dad grabbed me by my shirt, pushed me against his car. His eyes filled with rage, anger, and pain. âHow could you let her race, Percie? You let her die there. You sent her to her death. You, worthless piece of shit.â
I didnât react. I thought of my father as if invisible.
Grandma came between my parents and me, glaring at them. âEnough both of you! You donât know anything about what happened there. You donât know anything about what Emma has wanted in her life. All you wanted was about your business and your money. You never cared what she wanted.
You both never asked her what she needed. And you would never know how Percie helped Emma. Do I have to remind you how you throw your daughter away because she has a defect?â
They gasped in shock.
I ignored the looks on their faces. They deserved that. I got inside the car after loading our luggage into the back of our car.
My parents took care of Emma. They arranged her funeral. Whether they like it or not, I would see Emma one last time. Or I would create a scene that everyone would never forget. I was done trying to be a nice son, which I was not in the first place.
This time, it was my choice.
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