Chapter 19: Hesitant Hope

Jake finally woke up feeling almost normal. His room was still in darkness, and he had no clue how many hours he’d been asleep.

He was still in the exact position he’d flopped down in and was now stiff.

He pulled himself up and dragged his aching muscles to the en suite shower in an attempt to wake up fully.

He hated sleeping the day away even if he had an excuse and wanted to make sure he did something more active than lazing around today to counterbalance his messed-up sleeping pattern.

Once showered and dressed, he headed up on deck to see what the crew had going for breakfast, or lunch, or whatever the hell time of the day it was.

For all he knew, it could be evening.

Anyway, heading up into the sun, he was surprised and a little irritated to see Emma had fallen asleep under the highest point of it in the day.

It was noon, judging by its position, and she was only being saved from the rays by the book over her face.

He knew it was her just from that little body alone.

She had a figure the other girls should envy, soft curves and perfectly proportioned little limbs. Even her dainty feet always fascinated him.

He’d never been a fan of small delicate girls before Emma, but somehow it only added to everything about her that was perfect.

He sat down on the lounger beside her, smiling at the romance book cover with a shake of his head.

The girl was complicated, to say the least. He would never have pegged her for romance books, and he slid it away slowly to reveal her peaceful perfection underneath.

She had a tiny little nose and perfectly kissable lips, a perfect face if he ever saw one, and the slightest hints of freckles forming over the bridge of her nose now that she was getting a tan.

He gently brushed her hair away from her forehead, savoring the silent moments before she woke up fully.

Taking in a face that would haunt him for a lifetime. “Hey.”

He sounded husky as she began to rouse with the sun fully hitting her face, adorably sleepy, and those perfect soft blues that he loved so much flickering open to melt his heart.

~I love you, bambina.~ “Hey.” She half-smiled, half-blinked up at him sleepily, his heart aching too much.

“You shouldn’t sleep in the sun,” he scolded gently, watching her trying to focus on him.

Even though he’d put himself between the sun and her to shield her, she seemed to be having difficulty looking at him properly, squinting at the brightness.

“I didn’t intend to.”

She blinked some more as Jake slid his sunglasses onto her face, smiling back when she smiled at him in that endearing way she had.

He knew they had to talk about last night and set things straight, not just brush it aside as she seemed to want to do.

He didn’t want to do it here either. “Want to go somewhere?” Jake looked off to the ocean, away from her face.

He had a deep sense of trepidation that this would not go how he wanted it to, but that doing it was unavoidable.

“Such as?” She sounded inquisitive, more mellow than before he had gone to bed and less PA toned. He shrugged in reply.

He just wanted them away from here, away from the others who would start questioning him about Hunter, tilting his head up to watch the sea crashing on the distant shore to give him some sense of calm.

“Anywhere but here.” He sighed dejectedly.

He had told Hunter that deep down, he knew Emma didn’t want a relationship with him, but he had always held a tiny spark of hope that he was wrong.

Being here now with her after last night and how normal she seemed had killed all his chances.

He knew undeniably that Emma was never going to see him as anything other than a boss and a friend.

“How’s Hunter?” she asked gently, watching his face closely. “Secondary drowning is risky when you swallow as much as he did.”

He answered on autopilot, his head too wrapped up in what was missing between them to divulge much about Danny.

“Secondary drowning?” she asked, looking at him shyly. “You can drown long after you come out of the water. It’s in your lungs still.”

He tensed, remembering Blake Carlisle, his childhood friend who’d drowned after a stupid drunken boat party. It hurt to remember him.

“So where will we go?” she asked a little more brightly, a smile plastered on her face, but it did nothing for his mood.

She was so far removed from the Emma of last night that it was scary. “We could drive somewhere.”

He went back to watching the horizon instead of her beautiful face—tense, distracted.

He just needed to get things moving and get this over and done with. He had formulated a plan at the hospital last night with Hunter.

A way out of this emotional mess he was in if things were looking hopeless with her. “Okay.” She smiled a little warily, unsure of his mood.

“Shall I get changed?”

He shook his head, looking over her floaty dress and sandals. She was always gorgeous no matter what she chose to wear, but in the summer clothes and dresses, she was even more so.

“No… You look perfect.” His eyes flickered down the length of her as she got up, waving her book at him to say she was going to put it in her room.

He watched her walk away elegantly and felt his stomach drop heavily.

He had gotten enough from these few minutes to know he might be putting his plan into action later today.

Emma wasn’t the same girl of yesterday; the connection was gone, and she was most likely never to get that drunk again, knowing how far they had gone.

Minutes later, Emma walked back on deck toward him, looking every bit the angel who held all the keys to his heart—and every bit the destroyer of it.

Despite feeling like hell, he smiled and gestured for her to follow him to the stairs again—to get off the boat.

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