2 8
Hot and Cold
I think I've just about emptied out everything I've ever eaten in my whole life.
After flushing the evidence and chugging about half of a bottle of mouthwash from the cabinet, I exit the bathroom.
I still feel unsteady, but that could be from a combination of my high heels and puking.
Yeah, right. It's because of all the bullshit from tonight.
Shaking the thought away, I stand in the middle of Jalen's room, bringing my hands to my hips as I think of a plan.
My only way home is taking an Uber or calling Noah. I've always been scared of being alone in Ubers, especially after midnight. And calling Noah isn't an option. He was here with Cortney.
And Jalen slept with her.
Okay, maybe I should call Noah.
I dial his number, tapping my foot impatiently as it rings twice before going to voicemail.
It's supposed to ring longer than that.
This motherfucker ignored my call.
What a prick.
I refuse to call again. Fuck him.
I look around the room, trying to think of another solution.
The rustled sheets on Jalen's bed catch my eye and bring back that nauseous feeling. I've spent too many times tangled in them to have to be worried about what the fuck else he's doing.
My fists clench at the thought of being betrayed like that, especially while I'm in the same place as him.
I don't care if he's denying it. He hasn't given me an actual answer as to where he supposedly was, so to me, he's just lying.
I'm rushing toward his bed before I can think it through, reaching for his blanket and sheets, tugging them off, letting the dozens of pillows previously scattered across his bed fly across the room.
"Uh, bad time?"
I'm interrupted by a voice at the door, and I don't need to turn around to know who it is.
Deciding it's better to face him, rather than continue trashing his room, I drop the last pillow and do so.
He hasn't moved, still standing in the doorframe, one hand on the doorknob and the other against the wall. Brows turned downward, frown on his face as he takes in the mess.
"I can come back if you'd like to finish... whatever it is you're doing," he offers hesitantly.
"I'm done," I announce, glancing around at the sheets and pillows thrown across the floor.
Feeling slightly embarrassed at the mess, I lean down to start cleaning, before realizing this entire mess is his fault. Not mine.
Standing upright once more, I meet his gaze, raising a brow, wondering what his next move is.
Jalen takes a step into the room, hands shoved into his pockets. His movements are slow and calculated as he crosses the room, taking extra care to keep distance between us.
It's as if I'm some wild animal he needs to be cautious around. Like he can't get too close, or I'll snap.
I just fucking might.
"Are you staying?" he asks lowly, unsure.
I shrug. "I don't want too."
"Lyndon," he says with a sigh. He seems to be doing that a lot tonight. I don't like it. "Everyone's been drinking. I don't think it's a good idea to drive this late, especially since it's New Years."
I shut my eyes, feeling stupid for forgetting about the holiday. It was the whole reason we threw this party, it was our excuse.
I missed the ball dropping, and now that I think back on it, I recall hearing cheers and laughter as I stood on the balcony with Elijah earlier.
Checking the time on the clock on Jalen's nightstand shows me that it's far past midnight. Hours have passed since that moment, and I can't get them back.
"Happy new year," I tell him, cringing after at the crack in my voice.
I ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach at the thought of my phone I had just held. I had no missed calls. Noah ignored mine. My parents didn't bother to reach out, and neither did Knox. Sure, they're all irritating, but aren't we family? Shouldn't we at least wish each other a happy, healthy new year?
Have we crumbled too much to even care anymore?
I bite my lip, holding back tears. This might possibly be the worst night of my life.
"Baby," Jalen calls out, quickly crossing the room and gathering me into his arms. "I'mâ"
He cuts his own words off, seeming to not know what to say. He doesn't seem to be someone who can handle tears well. The one time he's seen me cry, he was unbearably awkward.
But that doesn't stop him from gently pulling me into him, hands wrapping around me as I let it out. One tear falls, then another.
I find myself wrapping my own arms around him, getting that unsteady feeling again. This time, I don't have to suffer through it, though. Jalen easily takes on my weight, supporting me entirely as I cry into his dress shirt.
The only sounds in the room are my heavy breaths and Jalen's beating heart. My ear's pressed right against it, face practically buried into his chest. His arms grow tighter around me with every sob, and though part of me feels stupid for crying in the arms of one of the people responsible for my tears, the other part doesn't care.
Elijah's arms may have been comforting, but Jalen's are electric. They make me feel more alive, on fire in the best possible way. We're not in our own little bubble protecting us from the world, we're somewhere else entirely.
Eventually, Jalen brings us to the couch, detaching himself from me when my tears finally end.
"Do you want me to bring you anything? Food? A glass of water?" he asks, blue eyes filled with so much concern it makes me want to cry again.
How could you be the same person I saw kiss Cortney?
I shake my head. "I'm fine," I say, voice hoarse. "Um, where are you going?"
The panic in my voice is clear, eyes widening as he continues standing up.
"I figured you decided you'd spend the night here. I really don't want you on the road," he says calmly.
"You still didn't answer my question," I say, laughing in my head at the irony. There's a few fucking things he hasn't answered. To clear any confusion, I clarify it for him. "Where are you going?"
"I also figured you wouldn't want to stay the night with me," he says, eyes glancing toward the ground. "You can stay here, and I'll take one of the guests bedrooms."
My eyes quickly flash toward the bed, and all of his sheets and pillows still on the floor. "I'm not sleeping there."
Jalen pauses at the harshness in my tone, brows furrowing before realizing why.
"Lyndon, I didn'tâ" he begins in an angry tone, before taking a deep breath. "I can show you to another bedroom then."
"And if your parents find me?" I ask in a squeaky voice.
We may be official and they may know we're dating, but they still hate it. And this is still their house. They'll kick me out faster than Noah ignored my call.
Motherfucking asshole. I'm so kicking his ass when I see him!
"What do you want to do, Lyndon?" he asks gently, now kneeling in front of me. The action catches me off guard. "Are we..."
"I don't wanna talk about it," I cut him off.
A smirk comes to my face as I watch his jaw clench, clearly unhappy with his words being thrown back in his face when he's trying to get an important answer.
"I'll take the couch, if you want the bed," Jalen announces while standing, stretching his arms over his head as he does so.
He rolls his shoulders, then twists his neck, a loud crack echoing around the room.
"Ew."
Jalen sends me a dry look. "Is that in response to sleeping on my bed?"
"It was meant for that disgusting sound you just made, but yeah, it serves as a response to that, too." I flash him a fake smile. "I'd rather die than sleep on that."
The muscle in his jaw ticks once more, making me smile for real. Other than the fact that Jalen's ten times hotter when he's annoyed, it also makes me feel good knowing he's just as irritated as me.
Yet, we keep each other around. At least I'm not the only one who can't make up their mind.
"Guess we're both roughing it, then," he announces with a cheeky smile.
Before I can question what that means, he exits the room, slamming the door behind him.
Did he just leave me?
My answer comes when he returns shortly after, blankets and pillows in hand. He tosses them by my spot on the couch, then moves toward his dresser. When his fingers begin quickly undoing the buttons on his shirt, I know I should look away, but.... I can't.
Jalen's too attractive for his own good. The muscles in his stomach tense as he undoes each cuff on his shirt, before pulling it off. His hands move to his pants, making the muscles in his arms flex as he begins undoing them.
I turn away once he drops his pants, knowing I'll give in if I see... that.
I swallow hard when I hear his draw open and close. Without meaning too, I turn that way again, watching as he finishes tying the strings of his shorts. Just as he reaches for his shirt, he catches my eye, and I hate the smirk that comes to his face when he notices me watching.
Ugh, I actually don't hate it. I fucking love it.
I roll my eyes and look away, but I can feel him watching me.
A pair of shorts and a shirt land on my lap, and when I look up, Jalen's standing by my spot on the couch.
"That dress doesn't look too comfortable to sleep in," he tells me, eyes raking over my body as I slowly stand.
"It's not," I announce, taking a step closer to him. His eyes glance down once more before coming back to mine, much darker this time. "I'm changing in the bathroom, asshole."
I shove past him, making sure my shoulder knocks into his arm, resulting in him losing balance for a second.
I ignore my racing heart at the contact, focusing on the joy I feel at catching him off guard like that. Jalen may not be built like a bodybuilder or even like Elijah, but he's still got enough weight on me to not have moved an inch when I shove him.
It feels good to know he's just as much in a trance around me as I am around him.
It gives me hope for the briefest second that we'll be okay.
Maybe he didn't cheat, maybe Cortney didn't matter and shouldn't matter. After all, he seems to feel like Elijah's my own version of Cortney. And though he'd almost gotten into my head and made me believe that could be true, I know it's not.
It can't be. Elijah's my friend, and Jalen's... something else. Entirely. The feelings I get around each of them are so different from each other.
And though Jalen drives me absolutely in-fucking-sane, I can't stay away.
As I emerge from the bathroom in only his t-shirt, it's clear the feeling is mutual when Jalen's eyes widen and zone in on my body, never leaving as I make my way to the couch.
"We're not sharing," I inform him when he doesn't stand up from his spot.
He chuckles, shaking his head to himself before biting into his lip. "Of course not."
He stands, making sure to let our arms brush against each other as he passes me.
Jalen dramatically throws himself into the smaller couch diagonal to the one I seat myself on. I grin to myself at the fact that he doesn't even put up a fight at giving me the larger one.
"And you're not sleeping in the bed because...?" I ask, just now realizing there's a perfectly comfy bed he can go too.
Jalen watches me for several seconds, face void of any signs as to what could possibly be going through his head.
"If you don't want to sleep there, then neither do I," he finally says.
I nod at him, unsure how to respond. I begin making myself comfortable, spreading out the blanket and shoving two pillows under my head.
Jalen settles his long body into the small couch, and I watch as he brings his arm to rest under his head as he stares up at the ceiling. The muscle in his arm flexes as he adjusts his position until he's comfortable.
Once he finally stops moving, he sighs heavily.
"What?" I ask, agitated at him making noise. I just want to sleep and escape what's happened for a little while.
"This is the weirdest slumber party I've ever had," he says, eyes still trained on the ceiling.
I watch him for another moment, before copying his position, laying on my back and bringing my eyes to the ceiling.
"You've had slumber parties?" I ask incredulously.
Jalen chuckles. "Oh yeah. All the time. Painting nails and braiding hair was how David and I spent all our summers."
A cackle comes from me at the thought of those two actually doing that, and Jalen joins in on my laughter.
"You did all that, yet this is the weirdest one?" I ask, playing along.
"Mhm," he hums in agreement. "I guess it's just weird to have you here, but not really here."
I keep my gaze on the ceiling, worried that if I find those blue eyes on me I'll shove this blanket off and run to him.
"Well, I am here," I answer.
Jalen hums once more, and we're tossed into another moment of silence.
"But do I have you?"
Now I feel his eyes on me, and it takes all my willpower to focus on the ceiling. I close my eyes, thinking it over.
Does he have me? Even if what I saw was true, even if he's lying when he says he wasn't with her... does he have me?
Yes, a voice in my head quickly answers. He always has and always will.
I open my eyes, and turn my head his way.
That blue ocean is swarming with a hundred different emotions, that much is clear. I just wish it was clear enough to tell if guilt is one of them.
Either way, it doesn't change my answer. No matter how stupid that makes me.
Despite already knowing how I feel and what I'm going to do, I turn away from him, facing the back of the couch.
"Goodnight, Jalen," is the only response I give.
I hear him sigh once more, then the rustling of sheets as he readjusts his own position.
"Goodnight, Lyndon."
ââââââââââ²âââââââââ
Arlin Preparatory is buzzing on Monday morning, word traveling fast about the star quarterback being outed over holiday break.
It serves as a constant reminder that I should've listened to my gut and stood home.
But I'd heard from Jalen, who heard from David, that Daniel was still going to show up.
If he could find the courage to face the shitstorm coming his way, then how could I not? He'll undoubtedly have it worse than me, and considering this is all my fault, I owe it to him to be here for him in anyway he'll let me.
As I enter the gymnasium from the girls locker room, I mentally prepare myself for what's to come.
This is the one class we all have together. And by we all, I mean me, Jalen, David, Daniel, Noah, and Cortney.
Quite possibly the five people I don't want to see ever again after what happened on New Years Eve.
Having this class with all of them has never been a problem before, and that's mainly because I always cut. It was the one class I was okay with cutting.
Gym is not my thing. It never has been. And back at Beach Way, my gym teacher didn't care that I didn't show up, because I was the star swimmerâthey knew I was good at what I did, so they didn't dare complain when I cut. Once I got kicked off the team, things changed. Luckily, this is when my mother decided it was time to uproot my life and move us out of state.
Seems like the move here was a blessing in disguise. I cut this gym class all the time, and haven't been told shit about it.
As I exit the locker room, though, it's clear that this move was not a blessing.
My eyes easily find Jalen among the crowd. For the last few weeks, we'd cut this class together. Obviously that wouldn't happen today.
We've spoken once since New Year's Eve, and that was so he could update me on what's been going on with Daniel.
It's the only reason I decided to even show up, to be honest. I can't leave him to fend for himself.
Jalen catches my eye from across the room, making it impossible to look away. He sends me a small smile that doesn't reach his eyes, and it makes me wonder all over again if this is because he's guilty, or he's truly sad over where our relationship is.
Technically, we're still in a relationship. No one said we were over. We didn't have a break up talk. We're just... figuring it out.
I'm trying to figure it out.
"Oh, shit! Here he comes!" a voice from the other side of the gymnasium announces.
I turn that way, watching the guy who spoke and three others move from their spots in front of the boys locker room.
Just as Daniel emerges from the room, with a blank look on his face, I hear someone say, "He must've loved the time he just spent there."
If Daniel hears the comment, he ignores it. In fact, he handles all the stares and pointing and laughter with grace. His head is held high as he continues walking through the gym.
A group of girls behind me start laughing at whatever joke they've just whispered to one another. The joke was clearly about Daniel since they find it necessary to point at him as they do. When a group of guys follow suit, I send one more look Daniel's way, before whipping my head in their direction.
I'm not regal like Daniel. I can't stand by and let them talk shit about him when he doesn't deserve it at all.
But before I can get any words out, the sound of someone loudly clearing their throat interrupts, easily garnering the attention of everyone in the room.
"Good morning, Arlin assholes!" David says in a booming voice, large smile present on his face as every head turns his way. "Let's get a couple of things cleared up before we begin our day, alright?"
The room goes silent, people eagerly awaiting what he'll say. Jalen stands beside him, pissed off scowl on his face.
"Now, this should go without saying, but apparently common sense isn't that common around here," Daniel tells the crowd, spinning in a circle so he can look at everyone before continuing. "I guess I'll waste my breath this one time, just to remind you all."
The smile his face previously held is dropped, replaced with a dark glare as he grounds out his next words.
"Anyone who so much as mentions my brother's sexuality in any negative way will have to deal with me." David pauses, glances at Jalen, then lets out the fakest chuckle I've ever heard. "Oh, sorry. Looks like you'll have to deal with both of us. I don't think you want that."
He lets his words sink in, and once they do, everyone's eyes widen, and I almost swear I can hear some of these people nervously gulping at the thought of pissing either of these guys off.
Feeling content with that, David nods his head, letting that smile from before come back as he claps his hands and says, "Okay. Meeting adjourned."
He and Jalen exit the middle of the circle that formed around them. I expect them to approach Daniel, or at least acknowledge him in some way, but they walk right past him until they exit the gym.
Looks like they only came so they could make that announcement. Now it makes sense why they were still dressed in their regular uniforms, instead of changing into the gym uniform like everyone else did.
The gym teacher blows her whistle after, yelling for everyone to get on their assigned lines so she can take attendance. I don't remember where mine was, seeing as I hardly ever come. I spot Noah in the crowd, and after rolling my eyes, I follow him.
"Still not talking to me?" Noah asks with a laugh when I make a point to stand in front of him without making eye contact.
I cross my arms over my chest, deciding it's better to continue ignoring him instead of doing what I really want: smacking the shit out of him.
However, Noah doesn't seem to value his life, as he shoves me enough to almost make me lose my balance.
I swirl around, glaring at him, before crossing my arms again and turning away.
"Oh, come on," he drags the words out. "Talk to me."
"Go talk to Cortney," I spit out.
This makes Noah let out a loud cackle. "Wait, that's why you're mad? I thought it was because I declined your call."
"You motherfucker!" I shout as I spin around, shoving him harder than he shoved me. "You really did ignore it?"
Noah's face pales, eyes widening. "Fuck. Did I just expose myself?"
"I can't believe you!" I continue yelling, shoving him once more, knocking him out of his place on line. "What if it was important? Some life or death shit?"
"Uh, then you would've called again?" he asks unsurely, but there's a stupid little grin taking over his face.
I make an aggravated sound, before kicking my leg out as hard as I can. Noah brings his hands down, trying to dodge the attack, but he leaves his face open, giving me the perfect opportunity to swing at him.
Lucky for him, though, that twin telepathy we used to trick people into believing we had has come true, as he predicts my next move and swats my fist away seconds before I make contact.
"Damn, are you on your period?" he asks, sounding a little out of breath as he holds onto my outreached leg with one hand and blocks my fist with the other.
The question pisses me off more because, despite how stupid and stereotypical it is, he's not wrong.
Just as I kick and swing again, hoping he can't block both at the same time, a whistle goes off loudly next to us.
"Prince! And... Prince!" the gym teacher reprimands. Damn I wish I knew her name. "Female Prince, you hardly show up, and when you finally do, this is how you act?"
Female Prince... the fuck kind of name is that. Now I'm glad I don't know this bitch's name.
"Right? She's batshit crazy," Noah tells her.
"Noah," the gym teacher reprimands. "Watch your words. Also, take your hands off her."
Oh, so she knows his name?
Noah nods in understanding. "Yes, of course."
He lets go of my leg, or more like throws it away like it's a piece of trash, sending me flying onto my ass.
Fuck, that hurt.
"Noah!" the teacher reprimands again, blowing that obnoxious whistle. "Detention. Both of you. This afternoon."
"What?" Noah asks, all humor previously on his face from the sight of me falling wiped away. "I was defending myself!"
"That," she says, pointing at my figure still splayed out on the floor, but not making any effort to help me up, "was not self-defense."
She stares at him for another moment, as if daring him to challenge her, but Noah stays quiet. He's not completely disrespectful.
Once she walks off, I start laughing, ignoring the sting in my ass from falling and the fact that I've landed myself in detention once again.
"I can't fucking stand you," Noah says while glaring down at me.
"Aw. That really hurt my feelings, man," I say, pretending to wipe a tear from my eye as I slowly stand. "Oh, wait, I couldn't give less of a shit. But you know what?"
"No, I don't," he interrupts. "And I don't want too. Please go back to ignoring me."
I give him a thumbs up. "Works for me."
He walks off after, and once I finish cackling over karma getting him back for being Cortney's date, I spot Daniel across the gymnasium.
By now, attendance is done and everyone is allowed to go off, able to choose what activity they want to do.
I'm never here to see, but I'd assume Daniel would be active, seeing as the quarterback needs to stay in shape somehow. But today, he's sitting in a corner by himself.
Bracing myself with a deep breath, I walk his way. He tenses when he feels someone standing over him, but when he glances up slowly, he relaxes as he sees it's me. He even smiles.
He fucking smiles.
No, why are you so happy? This is my fault!
Does he not know?
"Lyndon, hey!" he greets happily, patting the spot next to him.
I plop down into it, ignoring the sting I feel.
Great, I most likely have a bruise there now. Man, I hate Noah.
"Hey," I say solemnly, staring at my hands in my lap. "Daniel, I... I'm so, so sorry. I didn't meanâ"
Daniel places his hand onto mine, effectively cutting off my words. When I find the courage to look into his eyes, they're warm and kind, only increasing the guilt I feel.
"I'm sorry," I say again, unable to think of any other words because all I can feel is... sorry.
Ugh, why'd I have to open my big, fat mouth that day? Why couldn't I just let Rachel be?
Daniel gathers my hands into his, turning us to face each other, knees touching.
"Lyndon, you have nothing to be sorry about," he says sincerely.
Yikes. That means he doesn't know.
"Daniel, yes I do. You have no idea how sorry I should be. How sorry I am and will always be whenever I think about that day." I watch his face, still holding that same sincerity. Why are you so pure? Taking in a large breath, I continue. "I'm the one who pissed Rachel off and set her on her warpath. I was a major bitch and humiliated the girl, which made herâ"
"I need to stop you right there," Daniel cuts me off, smiling shyly as he does so. "You cannot make anyone do anything."
I squint my eyes. "What? Daniel, I literally embarrassed her, which made her do this to you."
He shakes his head, side of his lips curling into a small smile. "Unless you walked up to her and said Rachel, tell everyone Daniel is gay, then you did not make her do this."
My mouth opens and closes. "Well, I... didn't say that to her, but I'm the one who pushed her!"
Daniel brings our hands up, interlocking his fingers with mine and squeezing. He sets his eyes on me and speaks his next words slowly, as if he's a teacher tutoring a student, holding all the patience in the world as he tries showing them an important lesson.
"You did not push her, you did not make her do this. You cannot force anyone's hand, ever, Lyndon. Everyone's actions are their own."
I guess he was trying to teach someone an important lesson, because right now, those are sounding like the wisest words I've ever heard.
I nod my head. "I'm still sorry for the role I played in it, though."
Daniel sends me another smile, easing up the tight grip he had on my hands. "I know you are, and though there's no reason to be, I forgive you. You didn't know what she'd do. It's not your fault, please remember that."
"How are you doing?" I ask, being the one to squeeze his hands this time.
"I'm okay, all things considered," he says with a shrug. "I could be worse."
"You're handling it amazingly, all things considered," I tell him. "If you ever want to talk or not talk at all, just know I'm here for you."
Daniel squeezes my hands once more before dropping them. "That last part seems to insinuate... something else," he says, flashing me a cheeky smile. For a brief second, all I see is David, and it's both funny and slightly scary. "I hope you're not getting the wrong impression. I am gay, you know."
I bite my lip, trying to contain the laughter threatening to come out. "What?" I fake gasp. "I had no idea. Is that what everyone's been saying?"
Daniel lets out a chuckle, before containing himself and nodding at me. "Apparently some of the rumors at this school do hold some truth."
"So you're telling me you fake dated Rachel? Or at least wanted to?"
Daniel flashes me a bitch, you can't be serious face, before we both laugh.
"I'm not you," he finally responds, sending us into another round of laughter.
"Low blow," I say, shoving his hands off my lap in a playful manner.
"I mean, it turned out good for you in the end... so fake dating can't be that bad," he says with a shrug.
When I don't respond or continue laughing, Daniel pauses.
"Oh, no. Lyndon, did something happen? I felt things were off during the party, but it's been a few days since then. Are you two not okay?"
My eyes wander around the gym, trying to stall answering him, unsure how much to share.
"Did Jalen do something?" Daniel continues pressing. "Or... did you hear something?"
His voice grows suspiciously lower with his second question, but before I can ponder longer on that, I groan at the sight of Noah approaching us.
"Why can't this asshole leave me alone for longer than ten minutes?"
Daniel follows my line of sight. I expect him to be happy, but his eyes widen almost comically as he enters panic mode.
"Crap. Hide me! Wait, is that dumb? Do you think he's coming to talk to you or me?"
I watch him, wondering why the fuck he's so worked up. "Who cares?"
"I never told him... you know," he whispers, wide eyes now on me, but they dart to the side to watch Noah come closer. "What if he's mad at me? What if he... hates me?"
"Why in the fuck would you hate you?" I question, confused as hell. "And even if he did, why would you care? That'd just make him a douchebag, not you. You don't need that in your life."
Sadly, I know Noah better than anyone in this world. He's not going to hate Daniel... but I'm also annoyed at him, and if making Daniel shit talk him with me for a few seconds is possible, then I'll do it.
"But... I want him in my life," Daniel confesses. When he realizes how it sounds, he lets out a laugh. "As a friend, Lyndon. He's a good friend."
"I guess," I comment, just as Noah finally reaches us.
"'Sup," he greets Daniel, reaching his hand down for him to tap. Daniel hesitantly does so.
He's acting so damn weird. Noah's feelings over his sexuality should not matter that damn much.
I pause. In a weird way, Elijah's feelings over my relationship status mattered that much to me. I panicked the same way that day us four went out.
Nope. No. Not going there. Daniel said Noah is his friend, and Elijah is my friend. That's all it is to it.
"So, um, a lot of stuff has been going around..." Daniel says while standing.
I follow his lead, choosing to stand behind him, just in case Noah fucks up and says something dumb. At least I can try flashing him a look that says change your tone, bitch.
"I've heard your name said a couple of times, but you know I don't listen to that shit," Noah says with a laugh.
Daniel swallows hard. His anxiety is making me anxious.
"Well, what they're saying, or, uh, some of what they're saying is... true."
Noah nods slowly. "Okay...?"
"Noah... I'm... I'm gay," Daniel finally confesses, sounding much more confident as he says the word. A lot more confident than he looks.
He looks like he'll die on the spot if Noah says anything mean.
It's silent for far too long, as all Noah does is stare at Daniel and shrug. Realizing we both expect him to say something, any-fucking-thing, he blinks once and does.
"So, are we still going to the Giants game tonight?"
Subtlety is not Daniel's strong suit, because with the large breath he lets out and the way he slightly bends forward as he does so, he might as well have shouted yes, he doesn't care! out loud. Thankfully, Noah's fucking dumb when it comes to picking up on body language.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm going to print the tickets next period," Daniel happily tells him.
"Cool. What time should we try getting there?"
I drown out the rest of the conversation about football, knowing Noah's going to follow through with his ignore me request for a few more hours, and I'm happy to let him.
The coach's obnoxious whistle goes off again, making me look her way. She's directing everyone to head back to the locker room to change.
I lightly touch Daniel's shoulder as a goodbye, and he flashes me a quick smile before turning back to his conversation with Noah.
As I reach the door, I spot someone with a light brown ponytail ahead of me.
"You had a good time over break?" someone asks.
"You have no idea," the girl with the ponytail responds.
The voice makes me pause, allowing me the chance to watch as they turn down a row of lockers. Her side profile is displayed, but I don't need to look to know who it is.
Stupidly, I decide to look anyway, greeted with the sight of a smirking Cortney Rousso.
This smug bitch.
I take the high road and go change. I can't give her the satisfaction of pissing me off.
ââââââââââ²âââââââââ
Dismissal couldn't come fast enough.
I'm racing out of the doors as soon as the bell rings, but I'm interrupted when I hear Noah calling my name from the opposite side of the hall.
"What, bitch?" I bark as I turn around.
Some lingering students glance our way, but quickly direct their gaze elsewhere.
Hm, weird. They usually judge for longer than that.
"Are you forgetting that you got us stuck in detention?" Noah asks with a hard tone.
Fuck.
Not wanting to admit I did forget and look dumb, I try playing it off. "No, I remembered. I just wanted to... find Jalen first."
Satisfied, I get ready to turn and stand outside for a few, because there's no way I'm actually going to look for Jalen.
"Don't look too hard, Lynnie," Noah says with a smirk. When I squint my eyes in confusion at his tone, he motions with his chin behind me. "Watch your back."
I almost get whiplash from how fast I turn, only to find Jalen's eyes already on me. I blank, unsure what to do. Look even stupider by not going up to him after telling Noah that's what I was going to do, or be a really dumb bitch and approach Jalen with things still so uncertain between us?
One look at Noah raising his eyebrow as he watches has me deciding to be a dumb bitch.
Jalen's eyes move from me to David and Malia, both standing in front of him.
Is he gonna pretend he didn't see me start walking his way?
"Hey," I call out, not bothering to hide the hostility in my voice.
Malia lazily looks my way, sending me a small nod of acknowledgement, before delicately touching Jalen's forearm. "We'll talk later."
He nods at her, then she breezes past me and exits the building.
"What do you want, Boulevard?" David asks without looking at me.
I ignore him, focusing my gaze on Jalen. His eyes remain on the floor, jaw clenched hard.
He can't be serious.
"Are you gonna keep standing there with your mouth open catching flies, or you're actually gonna speak?"
It takes everything in me to not smack the shit out of David. I already have one day of detention, I don't need another.
Plus, if anyone in this hallway deserves my foot up their ass, it's not David or Noah.
It's Jalen fucking Uccello.
"Lyndon," Jalen calls out, voice and face void of any emotion as he looks at me as if I'm wasting his time.
David's phone rings, breaking the silence that was starting to overcome us.
"Hey, yeah, I know," he says after answering. "I'll be there in a few minutes. Calm down. It's not a big deal."
When he hangs up, Jalen looks to him, nodding his head at the phone. "Danny?"
"Danny related," David answers with an eye roll. "But I'll handle this on my own."
They give each other a stupid ass bro slap before David walks off. Once he's gone, Jalen brings his eyes to me, and finally, there's some resemblance of a human being in them.
"Lyndon," he says with a soft voice this time.
"Don't even," I interrupt, raising a hand in the air, before turning around and leaving.
I hear him following. He picks his pace up, able to easily get in front of me and cut me off. "Baby, wait. Can we finally talk?"
The dreaded can we talk? question means one of two things in relationships: you want to end it, or you want to fix it. With the look in his eyes and his hand gently reaching for mine, it's clear he's going with the latter.
But how dare he choose to try now, after acting that way not even two seconds ago?
"I just tried talking to you," I tell him firmly. "You all but flipped me off, Jalen."
His eyes flicker around the hall, before coming back to me. "I... I couldn't then. But let's go somewhere, just us. Please."
"You couldn't? What, Malia and David are more important than me?" I hope I don't sound as needy as the question makes me seem, but I can't hold it in. Sometimes, he really makes me feel like I don't matter.
Jalen rapidly shakes his head, stepping closer. "No, of course not," he says gently, bringing the hand he has around mine up, intertwining our fingers, then doing the same with the other.
"That's not how you made it seem," I tell him in a hard voice, but still don't make a move to pull my hand away. I'm a walking contradiction. "It seems like they matter more."
Was that too much to say? Am I being too honest with someone who always lies?
Jalen's Adam's apple bobs as he swallows hard, blinking hard before pulling me closer.
"That's not true. You matter, Lyndon. You matter to me."
My chest tightens at the look in his eyes, the tone in his voice.
"Jalen," I say softly, and that seems to be all I can manage.
I'm at a loss for words, which doesn't happen too often. I just don't know what to say. He has me so... conflicted? Confused?
One person should not be allowed to have this much of an effect on someone else. And yet, he does.
He really does.
"Can we please just go and talk?" he asks once more, tone holding a hint of desperation that I never thought I'd hear from him. "We can go wherever."
A small smile appears on his face as he says the word, one of the few we've adopted as ours. The same smile comes to me. They both fade when I shake my head.
"No," I tell him. "I... I have detention."
I've never been so thankful to be in trouble before.
It provides the answer I need, and I get the sinking feeling it'll prevent me from making a big mistake.
Jalen turns around, watching as some students enter the designated detention room. His gaze then lands on Noah, who remained in the same spot by the door, watching our entire exchange.
Watching with a glare, might I add.
"Let's go then," Jalen tells me once he turns back around.
I send him a questioning look as he drops one of my hands, maintaining a firm grip on the other as he steps by my side.
"Let's go to detention."
He tugs on my hand, getting me to follow his lead and start walking toward the room.
"Jalen, do you even have detention today?"
He shrugs, sending me a smirk. "I'm sure there's something I did that could've landed my name on that list."
I shake my head, not believing this. "Everyone here would probably kill to get out of this, including me, yet you're just gonna waltz in there for no reason? You're crazy."
Jalen shrugs once more. "As long as I'm with you, I don't care."
My heart flutters at his words, and I'm sad to admit I one hundred percent agree with him, especially when he raises our intertwined hands to his lips and softly kisses the back of mine.
I'm not sure where we are or what state our relationship is in at this point. All I know is this back and forth between is so hot and cold it gives me whiplash, but I don't mind it as much as I should.
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A / N:
Look at that, I actually posted another chapter "later in the week" like I said I would. I'm so proud of myself.
This was an easy and fun one to write. Next chapter will be a little heavier, a little sadder. Lyndon's about to really go through it... but she has too! So far, if everything goes according to plan, we have 15 chapters left. It may sound like a lot, but if you really think about it, it's not. We're almost done!
I want to quickly thank everyone who's read, voted, and commented. You'll never know just how much it all means to me! See you all soon with the next chapter!