Emerson Scott
I was waiting for Robyn on his porch with two cups of coffee. He pulled into the driveway with a bike I had not seen in a while and I called out to him. "Hey, Robyn!" His tired face lit up as soon as he saw me and walked his bike over to the front door. He rested it against the house and stood next to me. "Here you go."
"Thank you," he sighed contentedly. "I could get used to this."
"It gets better! Not only do I have scrambled eggs and bacon, but I made some pancakes too. Now let's get inside while they're still fresh." I winked at him and held the door open for him.
"You don't have to tell me twice." As we walked into the foyer, we could already smell the aroma of breakfast wafting through the air. Robyn was practically drooling. The plates were already on the kitchen table and as soon as they came into sight, he immediately started chowing down. He made a sound of pleasure, having zero traces of any table manners. What an absolute horse. "Hey, Em, has anyone ever told you you're an angel? An actual saint?" Ha, save me the kiss-ass. I've heard this a million times from that same mouth that was chewing widely.
"No, never," I said deadpanned. I slid in the seat across from him, giving him a look.
"Let me eat and then we'll talk. We have all the time in the world."
"Do you want to visit your mom in the hospital? I'll drive," I offered. The way his mother left was just so abrupt, and I doubt he had time to process any of it. I'm certain he's worried about her. "I'll see if I can bring Emily too."
"You would do that, Em?" If I couldn't do something as simple as that, could I even be called his best friend?
"Without hesitation, Robyn. We can talk while we drive there."
He pouted. "I was promised a cuddle. Besides, I basically had no sleep. A nap sounds nice."
I shook my head. "I just woke up. But who am I to deprive you of a cuddle?" Robyn smiled at me, with food very much still in his mouth. Despite the fact that I was disgusted, it still remained endearing. I lightly punched his shoulder. "Gross, dude. I'll only cuddle after you brush your teeth."
"Naturally." He continued chewing before belching unceremoniously. "Do we have any tests this week?" He sipped on some classic, pulpy orange juice, looking at me expectantly.
I paused briefly in contemplation. "Hmm. I think we do on Thursday. In science and social studies, to be specific. We can study for that later, but I think you'll do fine because the material right now is pretty easy. Even for your one brain cell."
"Is that the only insult you have?" He stared at me with something akin to a challenge. His eyes had a mischievous glint and I cocked my eyebrow.
Shrugging nonchalantly, I matched his stare with my own. "I don't need to waste the good insults on you. Besides, I don't think your poor, barely functioning brain cell can handle such heat."
He snorted, a small smile on his face which he tried to mask by drinking his orange juice. "You're such an asshat."
I batted my eyes innocently, folding my hands so that my chin rested on them while my elbows were propped on the table. "I don't recall you'd saying that when you told me I was an angel. Oh well, guess you don't need that cuddle." Pursing my lips, I attempted to suppress the urge to smirk.
He blew some stubborn air, rolling his eyes. "I don't need your stupid cuddles, anyways." Absolute lies. Complete and utter blasphemy. He loved them. No doubt in my mind.
"Sometimes I forget you're not a fifth grader anymore." I mean, sometimes he sure acted like one.
"Oh please, says the one who's like three feet tall." Robyn scoffed, nearly spitting out his pancake that was currently drowning in a sea of syrup.
So we're bringing short jokes into this? How low. I clutched my chest, feigning indignation. "How dare you?! I'm taller than the average height of a male."
"You mean the average height of a male toddler, right?" He snickered and we both locked eyes. It was dead silent for a whole second before we busted out in laughter at our childish displays of banter. It wasn't too long until we dissolved into an almost hysteric state, continuing to laugh at the dumbest things.
I finally caught my breath, weakly clutching onto the sides of the table. "Why did we laugh so much? The food has gone cold."
"This is your fault," he tittered, almost completely losing it again.
Alas, I finally acquiesced, even putting up both my hands in mock surrender as an added effect. "Fine. It was." I was content with making him laugh, because that was all that mattered during the burdensome times. There were so many things going on at once that it was a nice breath of fresh air to be able to laugh like this. Seeing him smile like that, it was a rarity that I treasured every single time. "You're just so easy to tease."
"Yeah, yeah." He stuffed the last of his breakfast into his mouth and rubbed his stomach as if he was pregnant. "Thank you, Em. That was delicious. Gordon Ramsay? I don't know him." Pretty ironic since they shared the same birthday.
"I'm glad you liked it. It was a basic breakfast, but I did the best I could with the limited amount of actual consumable food."
Robyn shrugged insincerely. "Sorry about that." He abruptly stood up from his chair, almost toppling it over in his newfangled excitement. "Cuddling time!"
"I think Emily is starting to rub off on you. Hold your horses cowboy, I need to put the dishes in the sink and wash them."
He groaned, "Ughhh, fine." Pfft, I don't know why he even complained when I did the dishes in his own home. He slowly trudged towards his room with a dejected look, as if he were a child denied a piece of candy.
A few minutes later I opened the door to his room to see that he laid on his bed in a "draw me like one of your French girls" pose, but instead of a stupidly suggestive face, he had goofy one as he had his hoodie pulled over his eyes and strings pulled tightly. I wasted no time tackling him.
"The heck was that?" He wheezed.
"I swear your stupidity is vexing sometimes." I smiled fondly up at him, pulling down his hood to see his hair had been completely messed up, all static and tangled from being wrestled with under his hoodie. Of course, it was still long. He hadn't cut it ever since I told him not to. He was getting a little mullet action now. I wondered just how long he'd take it.
Robyn was staring at the ceiling with his arm around my shoulder as I was nestled into his chest. It was nice cuddling with him because of his height and large frame, so we fit perfectly like puzzle pieces. To me, he was a comfortable and warm pillow. "Admit it, you love every inch of this stupid though," he said, completely accepting the fact that he was, in fact, a huge dummy.
"Yeah, I do," I whispered, kissing him on the cheek as I did with all the other members in my family before they went to sleep. I snuggled closer to him, hoping he'd fall asleep soon. With my head buried in his chest, I could hear his heartbeat. Oddly enough, it was faster than normal. Must've been all the wrestling that got his heart racing. Not the most optimal thing right before trying to sleep. "Are you sleepy yet?"
"A little." His heart was beating even faster. I shifted my head up so I could look at him. When his eyes should've been closed, he was still staring at the ceiling.
"Liar." I started to comb my fingers through his chestnut hair, smoothing it and getting it out of his face. "Free massage, now sleep. Stop thinking so hard and count sheep or something."
"Okay," he said quietly obeying me. For once. I thought he was really about to sleep until he suddenly snapped his eyes open. I was slightly spooked, groaning in annoyance. I smacked him for the umpteenth time that day and he sighed. "Sorry. I can't sleep! This insomnia is frustrating."
"That sounds like a you problem."
"Em~" he whined.
"Okay, okay. Sheesh. I don't know what else to do, Robyn. Want me to put on some music? White noise?"
He shook his head. "No... Just talk."
"About what?" I didn't know I had to prepare a fifteen minute PowerPoint presentation just to get him to fall asleep.
"Anything. Ramble on like you always do." That was so helpful.
"Uh. Okay. Well, you know Isaac Hitchcock and Daehyun Young, right?"
"Of course."
"When I went to the mall the other day, I saw them on a date. They were so cute. But made me feel so single. They're literally the most good-looking couple at school. 'Couple goals' as they say."
"What are you trying to say? I thought you weren't really interested in dating right now."
I shrugged. At least tried to with the position I was in. "You're right. I don't have the time to date. Doesn't mean I can't dream." I didn't have a crush on anyone, hadn't for many years, but it must be nice getting spoiled and such.
"How is this supposed to help me fall asleep?"
I wrinkled my nose. "You said 'anything.' I'm just trying to talk like you asked."
"Sing me something. You've got a decent voice." His eyes were closed, already expecting me to on command.
"Sure, mister Phantom of the Opera." He didn't see me roll my eyes, but he could probably hear it. Decent voice? He's delusional. I'm probably Selena Gomez at best. I began to sing Heather by Conan Gray since it had been stuck in my head for a few weeks.
"Good taste," Robyn muttered with a raspy voice, indicating he was close to falling asleep.
"Why would you ever kiss me?
I'm not even half, as pretty
You gave her your sweater
It's just polyester, but you like her better
Wish I were Heather
Watch as she stands with
Her holding your hand
Put your arm 'round her shoulder
Now I'm getting colder
But how could I hate her?
She's such an angel
But then again, kinda
Wish she were dead, as sheâ"
I stopped singing as Robyn's snores overpowered my voice. Actually, overpowering any other noise, for a matter of a fact. I stifled my laughter by burying my face into his chest, my whole body shaking. He sounded like Peppa Pig if she smoked three packs everyday. His body did the thing where it jerked as if he was falling off the bed and I had to wrap my arm around his waist to stop him from doing just that. His right eye twitched open and quickly shut again, as he muttered gibberish under his breath. I wanted to record this whole thing, but moving to retrieve my phone meant letting go of Robyn. Which I didn't want to do because it felt so cosy.
We stayed in that position for quite a while, glad that he had blackout curtains. As I laid there envelopes in warmth, my mind on the edge of slipping out of consciousness, Robyn's body jerked. I squinted an eye at him while he mouthed something I couldn't hear.
"What did you say?" I whispered, initially thinking he was probably sleep-talking.
With his gruff voice, he mumbled, "Why'd you stop singing? I like your voice."
I smiled at him. "You said that already, silly."
His eyes were still closed, but he nestled closer to me and whispered, "I like your voice, but not as much as I like you."
"Yeah, yeah. Keep on saying that and you'll get a free breakfast everyday. I see what you're doing," I laughed breathily.
In a blink of an eye, Robyn was fully awake. He had changed our position so that he was looking down at me while I looked up, his arms bracing himself on either side of me. His eyes scanned my face. "You must have misunderstood me."
Confused, I pinched his nose and tilted my head. "What do you mean?" Why did my throat feel parched?
"I like you, Em. I love you. And..." He trailed off, hesitant to finish the rest of the sentence.
I coaxed him with a soft touch to the shoulder, "And?"
Even in his dark room, I could see his eyes as clear as day. He gulped, brushing my fringe out of my face. Somehow the atmosphere had changed and I wasn't sure if I could even breathe. Robyn leaned impossibly closer and spoke in a hushed tone. "I love you. But not as a brother. Not as your best friend. I don't know how transparent I have to be for you to comprehend and get it into your dense skull. I love you, Em. Romantically. Not platonically. I'm serious about you, Emerson." His face inched closer to my own, especially in the direction of my lips. But I couldn't move. Not even a finger. I stared at his lips approaching mine in a complete daze and squeezed my eyes shutâ
My eyes snapped open, my mouth slightly agape as I struggled to take a look at Robyn. He was still dead asleep, snoring and even drooling slightly. So it was a dream? My heart was racing, my breathing was rapid. Yet Robyn hadn't moved an inch. I barely managed to run a hand down my face in a feeble attempt to wake myself.
What an odd dream.
That would never come true. It was absurd, I thought, as I shook my head. As if physically shaking my head made my thoughts fly away. He must have felt me squirming under his arms because he woke up.
"Em, are you okay?" I should be asking him that.
"Of course. It's just that It's hard to sleep when the Titanic is next to me."
"Sorry." He rubbed his eyes. "Can we go see my mom now?"
"Of course. No need to ask me." I tried to wave off that dream but it seemed so surreal. It was as if I could feel his hot breath on my lips, the goosebumps on my arms. I didn't even notice I was staring off into space when Robyn shook my shoulder.
"You can go take a shower first, you seem like you have something on your mind." He gave me a lopsided smile. "Weird dream? Or... a you-know-what dream?" He said in a high-pitched voice while wiggling his eyebrows.
Could he be any more embarrassing? It was impossible to not feel a wave of heat prickle the tips of my ears as I looked away from him and crossed my arms. "Whatever you're implicating, it is nothing of that sort."
Robyn's face said everything that he wanted to convey without any words. Pure doubt. He smirked and turned to his closet. "Sure."
With a jolt, I was reminded of the fact that I didn't bring any clothes. I sort of came in the heat of the moment and hadn't been back to my house. Unlike in my home where I kept some of Robyn's I hadn't been to his house in a while. So there was no need. "Uh, Robyn?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't have any clothes."
Teasingly, he pulled up the sheets to look under as if I wasn't wearing clothes at that very moment. I slapped him, that idiot, and he laughed. "I'm sure I have a few pieces of clothing I've stolen from you at some point. Besides, I have some smaller clothes I outgrew a few years back. Probably will fit you. They're located in a box in the left side of my closet."
"Okay, got it."
Without a word, he left his room and heard him going downstairs. I gave him some space because of the situation he was in. It was understandable. With a mere glance at Robyn's disgustingly disorganized closet, I decided it would be too difficult to sift through all the clothes to find a few articles of clothing that were mine at some point, so I resorted to the box he said had older clothes. I prayed that they didn't consist of some ugly, outdated fashion that smelled musty. It wasn't too troublesome spotting a blue storage bin. I kneeled down and opened it's lid with a satisfying pop.
I hadn't seen those clothes since middle school. The plastic bin was practically a time capsule. Seeing this all before me brought some unexpected nostalgia. "Cool," I said under my breath, as I held up an old letterman jacket. It was the one Robyn had received from basketball, and it was before he was captain. I tried it on and it fit perfectly, if not the slightest bit cropped. Honestly, the middle school jackets were designed much better, with the nice colors of mint green and light gray complimenting each other. Our current high school colors were black and beige. And white if that even counts. Pretty boring.
Eventually, I had paired the letterman jacket with a plain white shirt and some black ripped skinny jeans that I am certain weren't bought ripped. I laid out the outfit on the bed and turned the water on so that it was steaming hot. I felt goosebumps on my arms despite the fact that I wasn't feeling particularly cold.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't erase the memory of Robyn's confession. The dream came out of nowhere and seemed so realistic. The fact that I could recall every detail of that dream so vividly was almost frightening. I never dreamed often, and when I did, it was rarely remembered. If that ever actually occurred, would I react that way? I didn't want to think about it too much. After all, it's not like it would ever happen. Right?
I wouldn't mind it, though. I mean, we did have that marriage pact since we were in middle school. Get married to each other if we were still single by the age of thirty. I highly doubted that pact would ever play out, with Robyn being, well, Robyn. What's not to like about his dumbass? I could imagine him bagging a very handsome, successful guy. Come to think of it, he never told me his type. Hell, could be an old sugar daddy. I don't judge. Whoever makes them happy, I'm fine with that.
Loud banging on the door startled me so intensely that I was close to slipping and bashing my head on the side of the shower. Fortunately, I caught myself right before it happened and let out a shaky breath of relief.
Robyn was pounding on the door impatiently. "Hurry up taking a shower, Em! Are you okay in there?" He asked if I was okay for the second time. Why wouldn't I be? I should be the one asking him that, with his mom being hospitalized.
"Yeah! I'm fine. I just didn't know how to operate your Rube Goldberg contraption of a shower." I quickly started rinsing off all the soap and conditioner, scrubbing so swiftly that my skin was irritated to a slightly pink state.
"I don't know who Rube Goldberg is, but it's a shower. Not rocket science. You're supposed to be smarter than me. If not, that means you have less than my singular brain cell you claim I have. That would just be embarrassing." I could practically hear his eyes rolling into the back of his head.
"I didn't know you wanted a shower that badly. You smell bad, I get it. What are you gonna do if I don't open the door, huh? Join me?" I laughed boisterously. I was expecting a witty quip, a snarky comeback, but all I heard was running water. Was that too far? Nah, it was a joke. He isn't that hare-brained.
Only a second after I thought there was something wrong with my brain, Robyn responded with, "Do you want me to?" Ah, that caught me off guard. I should've expected a comeback like that.
I was so glad he couldn't see my face for multiple reasons. My face felt warm, from my ears to my toes. I concluded that it was the fact that I had been standing in boiling water, so I immediately turned down the shower so it went from steaming hot to freezing cold in a split second. I yelped and just turned the whole thing off after ten seconds of frigid torture. Curse this stupid Goldberg showerhead.
I quickly wrapped a towel around my waist, goosebumps on every inch of my skin. Just like before I took a shower. I opened the door to see Robyn standing in front of it. He had his hand over his mouth in a poor attempt of holding in his laughter. In between chuckles, I could hear, "You had fun in there? I think you didn't leave any hot water for me." He was wearing nothing but his boxers. It was a sight I had gotten used to and it never deterred me whatsoever, yet I had the urge to avert my gaze.
Wrinkling my nose, I spat, "Shut up. I hope you don't have any hot water."
He shut the bathroom door and I could hear his voice echo from behind the door. "This is my house!" he barked in laughter and I began to change. He turned on the water and I heard nothing else.
But then I realized I had no underwear either. He wouldn't notice if I stole a pair, right? Because there was no chance in hell that I would go commando under some skinny jeans. I decided to rummage around his room, look through some drawers since I didn't see any in the closet. I bet he wouldn't mind.
When I opened a drawer, I wasn't greeted by underwear, but a stack of notebooks. Now why would he keep notebooks when all our notes were either digital or in a folder in his backpack? I inspected them, and upon further notice, found a notebook with stickers from a cat book he bought from the book fair. He didn't seem like the type to hold onto old notebooks, because I recognized one of them from middle school. Even I, dubbed a so-called nerd by Robyn, didn't keep my own notebooks from middle school. Who's going to need notes on knowing your basic integers? He wasn't that dumb.
Curious, I opened the first page to see the date that confirmed my suspicions, scrawled in his ugly handwriting. Sure enough, it was his science notebook from sixth grade. I quickly flipped through it and saw writing scattered all over the margins. Its yellowing pages sure had some personality.
I snorted to myself when I read over the small annotations and saw I had written in most of the margins, too. Then I remembered we used to communicate like that, passing the notebook in between us when we weren't allowed to talk.
Once he had written in barely legible writing: I think Cole farted. I can smell it from his direction. I could recall him and I making eye contact, as he made a disgusted face while plugging his nose.
I wrote back: You smelt it, you dealt it
He scribbled: Fine, smell it. Suffer. Then it wasn't soon after I had read it, the smell like sulfur hit me and I actually gagged. His smug face had said it all. I laughed quietly, reminiscing the days when I didn't have to study and still pass all my classes with over a hundred percent. Ha, I wish.
I flipped to one of the last pages to see what else we had randomly communicated about. I recognized the date in the top left corner: Talent Show. A day I had always dreaded and anticipated every year in elementary and middle school.
Robyn wrote in slightly better writing: Are you doing anything for the talent show???
With a purple pen, I scribbled: Noooo, of course not. Me and audiences, we didn't mix. Still don't
He had snorted and jotted down: You can sing ;)
N o. I had underlined it, very sure of that. Had he really admired my singing since back then? I swore we used to sing awfully at the top of our lungs during karaoke night. I can sing my left ass cheek.
"'I like your voice, but not as much as I like you.'"
Why the hell did my brain immediately input that ridiculous dream at that exact moment? I sighed and internally cringed. That was when Robyn walked out the door, mirroring my towel around the waist look.
"Don't tell me you're going to go out in that? You haven't changed yet," he commented, stating the obvious.
"Can I borrow some underwear?"
"Borrow, huh? Are you sure you could fit mine, I mean Iâ"
By the look on his face, I didn't want him to finish that sentence. So I threw the notebook at his face. "Don't even think about it!" I screeched.
He peeled off the musty pages and squinted down at what I threw. "Where'd you find this?"
"There," I said, pointing to one of the many drawers."Why do you still have it?"
Robyn reached over to quietly put it back, his long hair dripping cold water on my face. His torso was still wet too, both water and freckles littering his skin. He shrugged, sitting against the bed. "I don't know. Some of the things we wrote to each other are nice to look back on."
I nodded. "Your writing is atrocious, by the way."
"Thanks," he replied deadpanned. He threw me a pair of Calvin Kleins.
"Are you going to watch me change?" I asked while cocking my eyebrow.
"Nothing I haven't seen yet," he smirked.
I buried my face in my hands and whimpered. "Robyn. We were in elementary school." Back then, we were basically as close as we are now. When we went camping we had to shower together to conserve water. It would've been easier to bathe a cat than shower with him. Nowadays, we wore our underwear at the very least. We were old enough to have some decency. "Leave! I need some privacy."
He laughed. "I'm just saying." He retreated into the bathroom when I raised a slipper at him.
~~~
We had walked back to my house so I could drive my Camry to the hospital. Surely, my family had to be up by now. I rang the doorbell and Emily answered giddily. "Emmie! Birdie!" It was no surprise that it was Emily that greeted us so exuberantly. She hugged both of our legs as if she hadn't seen us in an eternity. Then she pouted. "Why didn't you guys invite me to your sleepover?"
"Uhâ" It was more of an emergency rather than a fun little sleepover.
My mother leaned down to pick up Emily and hoisted her up. "Hello, boys. Did you already eat?"
"Yes, ma'am. Em cooked us some gourmet breakfast. Don't think I could survive without him." Robyn hooked an arm around my shoulder and I sighed while my mother politely chuckled.
"We decided to drop by here before we drive to the hospital." That got my mom to gasp, worry expectedly etched on the features of her face.
"Oh dear, the hospital? Are any of you boys injured?" Her eyes were already scanning us.
Robyn shook his head, somehow still maintaining a civil smile despite his current situation. "Thankfully, none of us here. But yesterday my mother was taken by the ambulance because she's going through extreme alcohol withdrawal. My aunt is looking over her as of now, but I'd really like to go. Emerson is also accompanying me."
"Oh my heavens!" My mother exclaimed while her southern accent slowly seeped into her vocabulary. When she felt intense emotions, like anger or fear, she would sound closer to something akin to a mix of a valley girl and cowgirl. "Stay safe boys. And Robyn, dear, tell your mother our family wishes her the best of health and a swift recovery. I would personally go with y'all, but I have to watch over Emily and finish up some work due before Monday." My father was also busy with his cases as well, as he wasn't home right now.
"Thank you, Diana," Robyn said.
"Why can't I go?" Emily whined at my mother, pouting doesn't that her bottom lip jutted out.
Mom shook her head. "Sweetie, I know for a fact you didn't do your homework."
Emily scrubbed her nose. "Noo... I did do it!" She was an awful liar.
My mother sighed, taking Emily by the shoulders and whispered something in her ear. Emily giggled while my mom not-so-subtly winked.
"Group hug!" Emily yelled while opening her arms in invitation. I was baffled, but who could resist a group hug from Emily.
Mother smiled proudly at her and nodded in agreement. "Bring it in, boys." Robyn and I squeezed them with a tight embrace as Emily giggled. "Robyn, you already know you're part of our family. You're such a resilient boy. Your family is strong for what you have to deal with, especially Piper."
With watery eyes, Robyn smiled shakily and nodded his head. He didn't need to say anything to express his gratitude. I knew him well enough that if he dared speak, tears would fall down his cheek like a waterfall. Then would come snot, hiccups, all the works.
Soon, we were well on our way to the hospital with a small woven bag filled to the brim with snacks and Capri Suns. We couldn't have left the house without accepting it from my mom, who was hellbent on giving Piper some of her homemade tea bags.
"I guess now is the time to address what went down," I offered while driving.
"'Went down' as in my mother, or talking to Nathan?"
Uhm. "Well, Nathan first. Is he doing okay? What did you guys talk about?" Robyn had been much more involved with those two, which is to be expected from being a closer friend and their basketball captain.
"Define okay. I guess he's not doing that bad overall. I think it helped that he was able to vent to me. And I came out to him." Woah, that was brave of him. I admired him for that. "Don't worry, it was my decision. After I came clean, it seemed to comfort him somewhat. Come to think of it, it was really cheesy. Like he kept on going on and on about Oliver as if he was confessing. He was saying stuff he probably thought he would never say out loud. Nathan genuinely likes Oliver. It's just sad and disappointing that Oliver is acting this way."
"What advice did you give him?"
"Well, I told him to communicate and talk it out. Confront Oliver, because if he just continues to run away from his problems, then he'll be more hurt in the long run. He said the last time he tried to talk about it, Oliver brushed off his feelings and said it was just a phase. Which, by the way, I think is such a dick thing to say. Like that's so insensitive." I nodded my head. "I get he's going through some things, Nathan said his grandmother has died recently, but that shouldn't give him an excuse to act like a total jerk. Other people are going through their own things. I told him my honest opinion that he doesn't deserve to be treated that way and he deserves someone better."
I kinda agreed. If Oliver keeps this up, he would be way too toxic for Nathan. Yes, Nathan couldn't control his feelings, but it's the sad truth that it can't continue like that. Either Oliver cleans up his act or Nathan has to move on. If not, he would have to deal with the pain constantly. I don't want that for any of my friends. "For now, let's not interfere and let them work it out in their own time. We'll be there for them no matter what. Oliver needs the help, too. No matter how much of an asshole he acts like. "
"Yeah," Robyn said shortly, his hand supporting his chin as he watched the open cornfields pass by. He was still distracted.
"Your mother will be okay, Robyn. No need to be like a cat on a hot tin roof. As I've said before, I'll say it again. Your mother is strong. She won't be deterred by some withdrawal. I'm glad she's making an effort to stop drinking and being more active. Piper wants to become your mother again and be more involved in your life. I know you two have drifted apart ever since the incident, but it seems to me that she had some epiphany and wants to change. Don't be too hard on your aunt. She has her reasons. Plus, she's taking care of your mom right now." Knowing she has a baby now gives me a different perspective on her. I don't know how I feel about Elsa just yet, but I'm not going to be as harsh to her as Robyn. Though I understand where he's coming from.
"Speaking of her," I began, "when and how did you find out she had a baby? And who's the father?! Sorry for all the questions, it's just that it was never mentioned before."
Robyn shrugged and reclined in his seat to make himself more comfortable. "When I first went back to my house, my mother was acting abnormally normal. Like the old days. She was even baking. Didn't know she even did that anymore. I feel like anything that is remotely connected to my father would make her have a mental breakdown. I remember the first few weeks after my father died, she would hate seeing my face because it reminded her of him too much. Even I hated myself at some point. I'm grateful we're past that point and you made me realize it's not my fault."
I gave him a reassuring smile when we locked eyes. I couldn't call myself his best friend if I didn't show him how much he's worth. How much he means to me.
Robyn cleared his throat and averted his gaze to the watch the side of the road quickly pass by. "Anyways, back to my aunt. After finding out my mother was being helped out by Elsaâwho I thought had left for goodâI immediately checked the room she used to stay in. After snooping around for a bit, I eventually found a photograph of her and her baby, with the date printed on it being very recent.
"I never brought up the fact she had a baby because we thought she was going to abort it. She seemed so adamant about it too. Hell, she would even put the baby up for adoption. Elsa and my mother had a huge fight about it. My mother would've taken care of the baby, supposedly. I guess my aunt didn't seem to think so. She always went on and on about how the baby was a mistake that should've never happened. Surprise, surprise. Elsa hid the fact that she actually took care of her in secret. I have no idea how she managed to do that, though. Babies are hella expensive and whatnot. She barely had enough money to pay rent. Doesn't matter now. She's moving out."
It was a lot to take in at once and difficult to digest, so merely said, "That sounds like a mess."
"Try a train wreck," he chuckled dryly.
"So that's it? She's just gonna cut ties with y'all after this?" That seemed so abrupt, and it would be unethical with her sister in that state.
He shrugged. "Probably. It's not like she truly cared about my mother anyways. No matter how much she bullsh*ted us."
"Robyn, I think you should be kinder to your mother's sister. Elsa is trying her best in her situation. Put yourself in her shoes. What would you do?"
He snorted. "Okay, well, first off, I wouldn't be so obnoxiously prideful about it and accepted help when it was offered. My mother would have gladly taken care of that mistake. I wouldn't lie. Scratch that, I wouldn't have to deal with all this shit in the first place because I wouldn't get carelessly banged by some asshole. I'm more responsible."
I sighed, wanting to pinch my nose bridge. That's not where I intended for this conversation to go. "Okay, then let's say you ended up with a child because you didn't use protection. Put yourself in her shoes. As the mother, what would you have done? After the father took off, nowhere to be seen."
"Well, I would grow a pair and take full responsibility for the child. It didn't ask to be born. It'd be cruel to throw them into a flawed foster system. I wouldn't kill off an innocent baby for my own convenience, because I made an oopsie." This was getting deep. I started to regret bringing this whole topic now that Robyn was in a pissier mood when it came to his aunt. I didn't want him to immediately start throwing hands with her as soon as their eyes met. That's not the kind of energy that should be around Piper anyways.
"Okay, okay. I get it. She wasn't the biggest help. I'm sure she's a nice person if you'd stop fighting with her every two seconds."
Robyn shook his head and scoffed. "I think the hell not."
I sighed. We weren't going anywhere with this. "I'll let you think whatever you want." I drove for a bit before speaking up at a red light. My car's engine purred quietly as we idled. "Hey, I think I'm gonna stop by somewhere first."
"Where?" Robyn asked with a cocked eyebrow in curiosity.
"I feel like I need to give her something. You know, like a get-well package." I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel in thought. "I'll probably drop by Kroger for a bit. Can you unlock my phone and look up the nearest Kroger?"
"Uh, sure." He fumbled to grab my phone out of its cup holder and stared at the lock screen.
"Forgot my password?"
"N-nah. It's nothing. You still have my face as your lock screen." He keyed in my password and went to google the closest supermarket.
"Of course. Why would I change it?" Remember what you said?" The look on his face wasn't exactly one of clarity.
"Yeah when someone harassed you, you can call me your boyfriend. It's just that... I don't recall you taking many of the photos in your camera roll. My photography skills are crap."
I nodded my head in agreement. His photos were pretty mediocre. "I like candid, natural ones, you know? Those are the best besides the ones where you look happy." I wanted to lighten up the mood, especially considering how irritated he was with the last subject. "You're actually really photogenic. Despite what your own front-facing camera has shown you."
"Are you calling me handsome?" He teased. Classic Robyn, really fishing for those compliments. He never changed.
"You're hot as shit." For emphasis, I fanned myself with one hand whilst wrinkling my nose.
"I can't tell if you mean it in the mean way or nice way." He squinted at me with an indecisive grin.
I smirked at him as the light turned green. "Take your pick." He laughed and my fingers itched to take a photo. When I said he was really photogenic, I meant it. His jawline could cut a hoe, his nose bridge was higher than highschool potheads, and his freckles littered his skin like little kisses gifted from the sun. Being his best friend for so long, I never really thought about how handsome he was. Heck, he was hella tall. Could've spared a few inches for me. It was no wonder he had so many friends. His personality is so likable.
In comparison, I seemed very plain. I had too many moles, not as cute as his freckles. My hair was a boring brown. Flat with no highlights whatsoever, no matter how much sun it was exposed to. Once, I was called a girl. Apparently I looked more feminine, with my baby face. Don't get me started on my lack of muscle. That's on me for forever despising any activity remotely physical. I get catcalled much more than what I'm comfortable with.
I could never tell Robyn these insecurities right now, because I would never hear the end of it. Praising me like I'm Apollo or something. That's why he's my best friend. He's there to boost my self-esteem through the roof.
I'm so lucky that out of all the people he chooses to trust with his true self, it's me. He could be such a dorkass crackhead that most people would never even comprehend from Robyn. Oh, the amount of blackmail I have accumulated over the years.
"You just missed a left turn, Em." Robyn snickered and I glanced at my phone's screen.
"Aw, crap. It's not my fault that this is unfamiliar to me."
"Maybe you should pay attention to the road."
I shrugged. "Maybe."
I made a u-turn to go back on track when Robyn gasped, slightly making me jump out of my skin. "Look, Em!" He pointed outside his passenger's side window. As if I could take my eyes off the road after that.
"What the heck, Robyn? I almost shat myself. You're lucky I didn't brake check you."
"Sorry, did you see that dog?!"
"I get it, dogs are cute. Why are you acting like you've never seen one before?"
He had the audacity to roll his eyes at me. Honestly. "It's a damn neon rainbow poodle!"
"Language."
"Shut up, let me coo at the cute little thing."
"Dang, rude."
"That's a chonky boi right there, dang boy he thicc!" Robyn pressed his face against the window. Out of context, that may have sounded extremely odd.
Okay, I had to admit, that one was pretty cute. A chonky shiba inu with little cute pink booties. "I get it, it's adorable."
"Hmm, I wish I could have a puppy."
"What's stopping you?"
"I feel like I don't have the time or money. Especially with the hospital bill, to my basketball practice, and schoolwork, there's literally no way I can set time aside for a dog. I can only dream."
"That's what my mom tells Emily. She's been begging for a pet for who knows how long. She wasn't satisfied with a fish."
Robyn snapped as a light bulb went off in his head. "Oh yeah, speaking of pets, I totally forgot about your fish! What was his name... ah, Beckerson, right?"
"Wow, you remembered. I barely even remembered his name." Beckerson was a small brownish black fish that I had no idea what its species was.
"I only recall it because it's such a weird name for a fish. That's the only thing I remember. How did it die again?"
"So you remember it's name, but not how it died, huh?" I snorted at how ridiculous it was.
"Come on, tell me already."
"What do you say?"
"Daddy, chill." Saying that completely caught me off guard was an understatement.
"WHAT?" That made me choke on my own spit, launching me into a whole coughing fit to the point where I was in tears. "Robyn, I swear to everything aboveâ" I paused to cough again, my face flushed. "I can't drive if I'm wheezing up my lungs. Have you heard of the word 'please' in response to 'what do you say'?!"
Robyn was cackling so hard in his seat to the point that he started wheezing too. It wasn't until I pulled into the parking lot that we began to calm down. "Why did you say that?" I chuckled while shaking my head.
"Demanding, much?" I gave him a look and let out a small chuckle. "I said it because you're acting like that. I simply thought it'd be funny. But actually, that sounded weird coming out of my mouth. I probably won't be saying it again." I did not like that uncertain tone.
"I feel like I wanna wash your mouth with dish detergent." I cringed.
"Or maybe I'll say it in the future unironically because of how you reacted.
"Shut up, never say that word again, especially to me. You're such an idiot," I slapped him lightly on the arm. "You can stay in the car. I'll be quick." I patted my back pocket to make sure my phone was still in it.
"Okay, don't take too long." He reclined his seat, nonchalantly resting his head on his arms.
"If I do, it might be a number two." He snorted as I shut the car door.
I made my way to the grocery store with a basket to pick up a few things for Piper, like a get-well basket. I had researched on my phone what would make up an adequate one for her, but not too overkill. I decided to grab a coloring book and pencils, pretzels, crackers, tea bags, Gatorade, a mug with a cute sailboat, and a small daisy-patterned blanket. That wasn't too much, right? It's only fitting that I give her in return for what she did for me and raising such a good son., the perfect best friend.
When I was grabbing a card to write a small note in, someone familiar caught my eye at the end of the aisle. Usually when I see someone I recognize in stores or restaurants, I try to avoid them, but instead I walked up to the lady and said, "Dani?"
The lady in question elegantly tilted her head and, her jet black hair cascading down her back. She was in heels, now being the same height as me. She was wearing a pencil skirt, a pink silk blouse, with a white boyfriend blazer. She was dressed to the nines. "Emerson?" Her icy blue eyes lit up in recognition and she gave me a light smile. "Oh, good morning! How are you?"
"I'm doing okay, thanks for asking."I shifted my eight form my left to my right foot.
"What are you doing here?" She asked me, eyeing my basket.
"I'm visiting someone in the hospital," I shrugged.
She wore a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry to hear that. I hope they get well soon."
"Thanks, I will. So, what about you?" It was odd to find her here, as it was an hour away equidistant from both our houses.
"I actually work nearby at a makeup lab. I'm just grabbing some starbucks and snacks."
"Oh, a makeup lab? That explains why your eye makeup is always flawless." I never knew she worked professionally with makeup. I just assumed she ran Takao's shop.
"Aww, thank you. It's years of practice and unfortunate phases that got me to this point. I help formulate the products and supervise the production line occasionally."
"That's cool, I'll have to refer some of your products to my mother, then."
"That means a lot, Em. I'll be happy to give you a tour of our lab if you're ever bored," she winked.
"I might take you up on that offer and bring Emily."
"Sounds good to me, Em. I'm sure she'll appreciate the unicorn glitter." We both laughed and she checked her watch. "Well, my break ends in a few, so I'll get going. See you later." We both waved our goodbyes and I sighed in relief. Ha! I didn't screw up having a normal conversation. Thank goodness, because my palms were so sweaty that I almost dropped the basket. I scurried to self-checkout because I was sure Robyn was wondering if I was actually taking a number two.
When I slid back into my seat Robyn was trying to eye whatever was in my bag. I lightly smacked him, clicking my tongue. "Nope, not yet. It's a surprise. You'll have to wait and see."
Robyn rolled his eyes at me like a child. "A surprise for my mother. Not me."
"You can wait a few minutes." When I pulled out onto the road, I mentioned who I encountered earlier. "Oh, I ran into Dani earlier. Apparently she works nearby in a makeup lab. She offered to give me a tour of the place."
"Okay, Jeffree Star," he snorted. "Actually, grab me some concealer because my insomnia ain't doing much for my eye bags."
"Have you worn makeup before?" Normally himbos like him wouldn't even know what concealer was.
"Nah, but I'm open to it. Like have you seen those male Korean idols rockin their smoky eyes?" He whistled. "Hot damn."
"Korean music isn't my cup of tea, but props to them for pulling it off, I'd probably look like a raccoon." I smirked. "Are kpop idols your type?"
"Ha! My heart is reserved for only three people," he emphasized by holding up three fingers. "Me, myself, and I."
"I thought you were going to say Zac Efron, Robert Pattinson, and Leonardo DiCaprio."
He wrinkled his nose. "That's the most basic top three of a white girl in the early 2000s."
"But do you have a type?" I was interested because he never really talked about anything romantic unless it was about other people. I know he came out to me recently, but maybe he was really serious with focusing on basketball.
Robyn shrugged, picking at his nails. "Mm, I guess pretty boys," he muttered.
"You guess? You kinda got a little quiet there, buddy." I teased him. He's actually getting a little flustered, and I found it entertaining. I don't know why my heart rate spiked, but it did. Was this how girls felt when they talked about their crushes?
"I had a celebrity crush on Kim Taehyung for a while, and I still stand by the fact that he's the most gorgeous man alive." I don't know if he was being serious. I'll have to look him up later.
"Okay, one, I know that's a Korean idol, and two, I'm offended that I'm not the most gorgeous man alive."
"You don't think I know that?" He guffawed at me, "Please, you're a close second."
"Actually, that doesn't sound too bad if I'm on your list alongside Timothee Chalamet and Conan Gray."
He looked at me with a shit-eating grin. "You didn't let me finish. You're a close second to last."
I pursed my lips, giving him a side-eye, and laughed caustically. "Dang, that burns. You're lucky we're here." For effect, I braked harder than usual into the parking spot, causing Robyn to make a choking sound as he jerked under his seatbelt.
"That hurt..."
"Let me fix the basket first. You can go inside and sign in. It's room 389, right?"
"Yeah, I'll go ahead," he said, leaving me to arrange the basket neatly so that the taller items were at the back. I was pretty proud of doing this last minute. I tied it off with a small blue ribbon and locked my car.
I caught up with Robyn, who was talking with the lady at the desk. I had my arms behind my back so he wouldn't see what was in it. When he was done, he turned to me. "Hey, Em. Let's get going, it's on the third floor."
As we stood in front of the door, Robyn hesitated. He started to fiddle with his fingers, stepping behind me. "Ugh, I think my aunt is in there."
"It's okay, I can enter first." I put my hand on the door handle when he put his hand over mine.
"No, it's okay. I'm a big boy," he smirked.
I stepped back and smiled."I'm sure," I sighed and gestured towards the door.
Robyn took a sharp intake of breath and opened the door
~~~
Please vote and comment, because that was a heckin doOzy!
Word count: 8905?! (For reference, the google doc I've written my story on has 72k words in all and I'm on the 155th page with size ten font. I should stop writing such long chapters it was a pain in the butt copying and pasting it to Wattpad ð©)
Thank you for being patient with me. A lot has happened in the past few months, so I hope this chapter makes up for it. :) If you wanna see some of my art where I barely post because im busy writing this crap, check out @idrawsarts on insta!
Also, thank you to liv-aint-lovely and redeyebrow @-saddchild @mercenary26 and others For being the best supporters!