Robyn Hook
Author's Note: this one is really long (12.5k words long) but the ending is very important to Robyn's character. So please, take breaks if you want to, don't strain your eyes. Take your time reading. Enjoy!!
For whatever reason, I started to get an uneasy feeling settle in my stomach. Em could see my hesitation and offered to go in first. No, she's my mother. I can't pussy-out like this just because Elsa was there. As much as thinking about her made my brain hurt, she did accompany my mother this whole time. I'm not going to deny that fact.
I inhaled deeply and with a click, the door swung open to my mother lying on a hospital bed, my aunt sitting on a nearby couch with a grimace on her face. Sheesh. Gloomy much? "Hello," she said with some raspiness like she hadn't talked in a while.
I ignored her and went straight to my mother. "Hello there, Elsa," Em greeted when I kept my mouth shut. I pulled over a chair and immediately grabbed her hand. She was asleep, although not completely peacefully as her brows were furrowed.
I turned to my aunt with a hardened expression. "What's the news?"
Elsa sighed. "The doctor said she was lucky we took her to the hospital before it got any worse. She was on the more severe side, but at least she didn't get to the point of seizures. She still has to stay for around three to four more days."
I ran a hand down my face. This hospital bill was going to be so expensive. Without my dad who used to be the main breadwinner, and my mom being laid off, we barely had any money. It was about time I needed to get a job, but I didn't know how the hell I was supposed to juggle getting good grades and basketball practice, especially as the captain. There was the funds saved for my college and future, but there was no way I'd be able to touch that without my mother going ballistic on me. As I was thinking about all these things, my mother woke up, squinting up at me.
"Birdie?"
"Mom, how are you feeling?"
"If I'm going to be honest, like I fell down the stairs again."
At least she was joking around. As someone who has fallen down the stairs a couple of times, I know it doesn't feel good. I'm like a rag doll with my lanky limbs. "Do you know what day it is right now?"
My mother shrugged. "I can't even keep track of the days on normal days. What is it, a Tuesday?" What even was considered normal anymore?
"Uh, no. It's a Sunday. You said you were fine. Why didn't you say anything sooner?"
"I thought suddenly stopping my alcoholic habits would solve everything, but as habits die hard, it isn't that easy. I didn't factor in that withdrawal was a thing. I didn't think it would get this bad."
Emerson approached us with his basket in hand with a timid smile. He placed it on the floor next to the hospital bed and took her other hand. "Hey, Piper. I got you a little something. It's a get well basket. I hope you like it."
"Oh!" My mother exclaimed, pleasantly surprised. "Thank you, sweetie." They hugged and I later whispered to him, 'and you said I'm a kiss-ass.' He just smirked and batted his hand at my mother's compliments.
It wasn't too long after that we all had idle chatter, well excluding my aunt who was fully invested in her phone the whole time. We all caught up with each other and told my mom about school, basketball practice, and new friends like Alice and Andrej. We talked about how big Emily has gotten and all that jazz.
"Uh, Em and Elsa, can my mother and I have a moment alone?"
"Of course!" Em said holding the door open for my aunt, who only acknowledged him with a very quiet thanks. Before he closed the door, Em gave me a reassuring smile.
"What is it, Birdie?" My mom properly sat up and seemed all the more attentive.
"We have to talk." I didn't think I'd have to say that to my own mother. Usually, if your parents said that you'd immediately think of every bad thing you've done and scramble to clear your whole search history. "I want to talk specifically about work. I'm at the age where I need some sort of working experience. I'm thinking about fast food or even at a car wash. I have pretty good grades all things considered."
"Are you really sure about this? I mean I'm sure I can get back to my job soonâ"
I had to cut her off. "No. Mom, it's gonna be a while until you can get back into the groove. You still have a few more days left in the hospital to recover and we need the money unless you want me to use the reserves."
"That's emergency money. You'll never have to touch those." My mother's voice was already wavering, and it wasn't due to the meds. Those reserves came from my father's inheritance and life insurance after he passed. She swore to never touch it unless it was absolutely last resort. "I still have funds saved up from when I was working. We should still be fine."
"Mom, please. This," I gestured to the place we were in, "isn't the only reason why I want to work. It's a good experience for future jobs in the first place and overall an opportunity for dealing with people in the real world. It would be nice if it was in this city so I could interact with people outside our town. It's nice to earn something by myself instead of it being handed to me on a silver platter or constantly getting help from others. I'm tired of it."
My mother soaked in every word I said to the best of her ability, slowly nodding in comprehension. "Okay. You've convinced me. You're right, this is a good experience. I'm sure it will look good on your future resumes. What will you be driving?"
"Of course the van..." Oh. I totally forgot about our second vehicle. "Wait, you're going to let me use the motorcycle?!" This was a huge shocker. It was dad's motorcycle and also very high-risk. My mom is little on the cautious side.
"Well, I'd like to use my van more and get out. Probably drive to the park to have a daily walk or something. You know, I really want things to go back to normal and get back into the world stronger than ever for you." She gave me a small, sad smile. "Nonetheless, I'm sure the motorcycle is in mint condition and I trust you to be responsible as you've shown me lately. Just... be safe. I can't stand to lose another one of my boys." My mom was getting teary-eyed. "Come here, Birdie." Her arms were wide open.
I hugged my mother and it was the warmest hug I could ever ask for. There's nothing better than the embrace of your mother. She smelled like honey and flowers and it brought me back to my childhood. "Thank you, Mom." I was thanking her for every single thing, not just this moment. "Love you, Mom. I'll always be with you no matter what. Don't be scared or worried, okay?"
We retracted from our hug and my mom nodded. "I'm glad I have such a wonderful son," she said as she patted my head. "Do you know this is the longest you've had your hair yet? Maybe it's time for a little trim." It fell over my eyes and it was longer in the back, falling to my shoulders. It was a little shaggy-mullet look I guess. Before growing it out, I usually kept it short because of basketball practice and my hair was difficult to manage because it was so thick. But I like this style better.
So, no way. And stop having Em combing his fingers through my hair? Not a chance. "Nah, I like it. Let's see how long it'll grow. It's cool, right? Like I'm in a rock band or something."
My mom chuckled a bit. "Is that so? With your awful singing? Maybe you should join screamo. I can hear you in the shower, you know."
Damn. I'm not that bad. "Calm down, Mom. I can only take so much heat." We both laughed and I savored the moment. Maybe things will get back to normal. In due time. Someday we'll visit dad's tombstone. It's been too long.
"See you later, Mom." I hugged her tighter than ever.
"Of course, Birdie. You go have some fun now and live while you're still young. Love you, sweetie."
"Love you, Mom."
~~~
Once again, Em and I left my mom with my aunt to talk about whatever the heck they talk about. I don't know how Em could stand her. As we were walking back to his car, I asked him, "Did you and my aunt talk about anything while you were out there?"
Emerson shrugged. "Eh, it was a little awkward. Like, as if I wasn't bad enough socializing. So I walked away to the vending machine to grab some strawberry milk and crackers. When I came back she was sitting on a chair, and calling someone on her phone. She seemed mad, but I didn't ask. When she was done with her phone call she took a deep breath and sighed. She seemed indifferent afterwards, and started up a conversation with me about being your best friend."
I raised my eyebrow. "Like?" I don't care if she said anything bad about me, but if it was to Em I'd throw some hands and punt kick her midget ass.
Em wrinkled his nose in thought and coughed into his hand, meaning he was slightly embarrassed. "Well, actually, to be specific, she asked if we were d-dating." Huh. His cheeks were dusted pink and I wondered why he was so embarrassed about it. This wasn't the first time we've been asked this. Actually, this happens a little too much. If anything, I should be embarrassed seeing that I have a pesky little crush on him.
We both entered the car as Em started the ignition. "What did she say exactly?"
"She patted the seat next to her and said 'it's a miracle you've stayed as Robyn's boyfriend this whole time.' She just assumed we were dating, which I guess you could see if you stayed at my house all the time." And the fact that he literally kissed me on the cheek in front of her. Which is something we didn't do in our family. I think I made it very apparent that we aren't affectionate. Like, at all.
I snorted. "She's just jealous I've been with you longer than she has with any of her boyfriends combined."
Em sighed. "Robbie, be nice. She didn't seem that rude when I talked with her. Honesty, it was similar to talking with a fellow high schooler. I almost forgot she was older than me." He paused to slightly adjust his rear view mirror. "I corrected her that we were, in fact, not dating and best friends. She seemed very surprised and even asked again to make sure. I insisted that we were just friends. It was weird, she was so adamant that we were dating. Anyways, of course I apologized for your behavior because you were acting out of line."
"Nah, I think it's pretty reasonable considering everything she's done." I had yet to hear an apology.
"It's not that bad to talk to her, which says something coming from me." As I opened my mouth to respond, I got a text message from a group chat I totally forgot existed. "Who is it?" Em asked when he saw my confused face.
I briefly scanned the message. "It's from Alice Hargreaves in the group chat. I'll read it out loud to you." For a second I forgot who this Alice girl was. Oh, and there was Andrej too.
Alice Hargreaves
Hey y'all! (｡'âï½)ï¾ Sorry to be a bother, but I don't have anyone else to ask
For my photography class I was given a choice to participate in a contest where I have to portray different aesthetics.
I know it's very last minute but I bought the props and clothes yesterday I just haven't had the time to get everything prepared. It's okay if you guys don't have the time to meet up today, or even if it's not all of you. But I thought it would be nice to have options.
We can also meet up next week, but I'd rather have it done by today so I'd have time to do digital retouches by Wednesday. It's just that it's finals week and I'm buried in work (not that you guys aren't either)
Sorry for this long text, but I'm willing to pay y'all to be my models. ('ï½ï½ã¾)
This seemed to pique Em's interests as he hummed in contemplation. "What do you think?" Em asked me with an excited look on his face.
"Why not? We have nothing else to do. I'd rather do this than study for those tests tomorrow. Also, I'd like something to get my mind off everything that has happened. I can see you as a model, Em."
Emerson blushed from the compliment and I was absolutely thriving. He was just too adorable. "O-oh, really?" I nodded. "Well, I can say the same for you. Being tall. And all. Your freckles would be really nice in photography as well."
It's funny. Us people with freckles were made fun of in elementary. But now, it's a trend and people use makeup to make fake freckles and 'beauty marks.' I used to be embarrassed over my freckles. Ever since I've met Em, however, I feel like my freckles are my best feature. I've learned to love them, especially since he has some of his own. Yes, they're quite faint and only visible in the summer, but his moles are adorable. I'd kiss every single one of them if I could. Especially the one on his bottom lip... ahem. I had to stop this daydreaming train before it derailed off into wonderland.
"Robyn?"
"Uh yeah?"
"You were spacing out. I'm driving. You need to text her about when to meet up."
"Oh, of course." I fumbled around with my phone, glad nobody could hear my thoughts.
Me
No need to apologize! Em and I will take you up on that offer.
What time do you suggest we meet up? And where?
Alice Hargreaves
Oh wow! You guys are awesome!! I honestly thought you guys had other things to do, so I owe you guys
Hmm, I was thinking around 3-5 and then I could treat you guys to some dinner somewhere
The location is my house. I have a garage I use as a studio so we won't be bothering anyone Ù©(^á´^)Û¶
How does that sound?
"Em, it's from three to five at her house. Is that a good time?"
Emerson nodded. "That's fine."
Me
Sounds great (:
Alice Hargreaves
Great!! See you soon (ï¾âã®â)ï¾*:ï½¥ï¾â§
address saved
Andrej
Is it acceptable if I partake in this affair?
Alice Hargreaves
The more the merrier!
Andrej
Thank you.
Huh, Andrej actually is joining us as well. I don't know why that surprised me immensely. He didn't strike me as the type to model, don't get me wrong, he definitely dressed like and had the face of a model, but his whole personality seemed very... classy. Too classy for even a model. Hard to explain, really.
"Hey, Andrej is coming along."
Emerson hummed. "Huh, the whole gang is going to be together."
"Yeah." I was sure Em would look stunning in any aesthetic he's put in. To me, he's a gorgeous person inside and out.
~~~
Alice greeted us with a huge smile. "Hey guys! Glad you made it here safely." She wore her wavy hair in a half-up bun, with a peach colored ribbon tied around it. She had a crew neck cream colored pullover under an overall-skirt thing. Hey, I didn't know what to call her clothing. This time around, she was wearing glasses and I couldn't recall if she wore them before. Maybe I just had poor memory.
Her backyard was just as nicely manicured as her front, lawn and garden immaculately maintained. It was much better than my garden of rocks, I'll say. Her hanging pots and flora were beautiful, nicely complimenting the accents of maroon paint on her house. There was a huge variety of flowers from lillies, to sunflowers, to my favorite snapdragons.
"Thanks for having us over," Em said. She led us through her stepping-stone pathway into the garage-studio.
Oh, damn. She was lucky to have this whole place to herself. The first thing that caught my eye was the cozy looking loft. She had placed rugs on the ground. And there were some comfy couches and lounging chairs everywhere. The first floor had a green screen tucked in the corner and there was currently a basic white backdrop set up with ring lights. It seemed pretty professional and serious for a high schooler. "This place is nice."
"Thanks! I do photography for fun and it's my passion. I have way too many albums of photos, it's unhealthy. I have some crackers and juice on the table. Help yourselves while we wait for Andrej to arrive. I still need to grab the stuff from my room. Be right back!" She quickly waved and walked out the studio.
We both fell into the couch covered with a plush throw and it felt like clouds. "This is so cool!" Em said with stars in his eyes.
"You seem excited. Well I am excited to see you attempt to model for the first time." I snickered while shoving five crackers in my mouth.
Em wrinkled his nose. "I never really had a proper photoshoot, so yeah, it'll probably be entertaining. The only type of photo shoot I've had are for the family photos hanging on the walls and sitting on the mantle. I'm just excited to see what Alice can cook up."
Soon after, Alice came back with Andrej trailing behind her. No surprise, he was already dressed like a model going to the cocktail party after the show. Alice put down the bags of what I assumed to be the clothes we were going to wear and clapped her hands. "Great, everyone is here now! Why don't we get started?" Em and I simultaneously stood up to join the other two to see what exactly they brought in.
Alice rubbed her palms together. "I'm glad you all could make it. It would have been way too awkward to ask my family or strangers to do this, so I'll say thank you again. Okay, so this is how it'll go. So I've chosen three aesthetics of soft-boy pastel for Em, E-boy streetwear for Robyn, and sultry evening vibe for Andrej based on your personalities and clothes I've seen you wear daily. And, well, general aesthetics I see on Pinterest. Just so we're clear, I'm going to use makeup. You don't have to if you don't feel comfortable with it, but personally, I think makeup looks really pull in the whole style. Is there anyone who would like me to skip the makeup step?" I never really thought about using makeup, as the most I see myself using is concealer for my insomnia eyebags. What basketball player captain wears makeup anyways? I wasn't opposed to the idea, but I know people who'd be very offended at the mere thought of it.
No one objected so Alice moved on. "Amazing. Now that's settled, here is what you need to change in, no rush." She handed us each of our respective clothes and one look at my pile made me very concerned for how I was gonna put it on this contraption. "You can all change in here, I'll step out to get some Gatorade."
Andrej walked away, saying, "I'll change in the loft." Maybe it was a modesty thing, I won't judge. Of course, I was very used to changing in front of others because of the locker rooms with basketball practice and gym class. Besides, Em and I changed in front of each other all the time. Albeit, with more blushing on my part. Especially recently. I had to slap myself. Calm down, Robyn.
"This is cute," Em remarked, admiring what Alice had chosen. Eh, seems like his wardrobe from his pastel phase. I mean, she was pretty accurate in choosing this aesthetic for him. He looked like a toddler with the cream white overalls that were cuffed. There was even a heart-shaped whole on his thigh instead of the normal ripped look. Under it was a pale pink sweater. He had matching pink socks and regular white vans. "What do you have?"
"Well..." I showed him the fully black outfit. It was black high-neck shirt under a black a fitted blazer. The real icing on the cake were the excessive accessories. "How the hell do you put on a harness?" It was very ornamented with silver loops, gold buckles, and variously sized snap hooks.
Em snorted. "Kinky." Not gonna lie, it did resemble BDSM gear.
"Shut up." This made me in awe of how fast K-Pop guys change in their concerts. What was this?! "Oh look, a knock-off Gucci belt."
"This is a nice flower crown!" Em said as he put on said headpiece, which suited him flawlessly, enhancing his already ethereal features. It was a beautifully assorted flower crown that appeared nowhere near cheap as it was adorned with crystals and pearls. Huh, Alice really went all out with this school project. She would definitely win the contest at this rate.
"Uhm, I don't think I put this on correctly," I waddled to Em while my arms could barely lift up on their own.
Em took one good look at me then bursted out in laughter. "I look away for one second and you manage to do this?" He stifled his laughter behind his hand. No, don't do that because I can't see your smile. I pouted and I couldn't really do anything, so I just pleaded with my best puppy eyes. "Stay still, I'll help you," he said with resignation.
My skin felt warm at his touch as he struggled with all the buckles. I needed to get my feelings in check. This was getting out of hand. Once he managed to get it off, I could actually breathe properly. "I can breathe!"
Emerson lightly chuckled, holding the harness away from him with a scrutinizing gaze in order to figure it out. "Aha. You dummy, there's a black quick-release buckle you undo so you can put it on like a reverse vest." When I gave him a confused expression he playfully rolled his eyes and wordlessly moved my arms and buckled me in like a kid into a car seat. "Finally. That took you way too long."
I raised my eyebrow at him. "Well excuse you, I don't wear harnesses. Quite the contrary, it's more on the lines of sweatpants and hoodies and occasionally leather jackets." I took a look into the full length mirror that was nailed to the back of the door. "I look hot, damn." I loosely tied my hair back so it was messy, but in the good way.
"I can't even begin to imagine how you'll look when she styles your hair and makeup. You look like an e-boy who crawled out the depths of TikTok-fboy-hell."
I shrugged with one shoulder. "A hot one, though." I slipped on my thick black leather combat boots. "I feel like I can step on anything... anyone."
Em choked on his spit and gave me an incredulous look. Yeah, maybe that wording wasn't the best. "Calm down buckaroo. You're already tall enough as it is."
Andrej shortly joined us and I honestly think this was an outfit he would've worn already, but maybe on a more risqué evening. Alice got that right. It was a red silk blouse which was unbuttoned very low. His amount of accessories were probably on par with mine as he had layered gold necklaces, so many rings, and woah, I didn't even realize his ears were pierced. He had leather shoes that had chains attached all around the ankle and dropped down the heel. The real "money piece" was a fake nose ring that connected to an earring with chains. His hair was still combed back, but messier with pieces falling out. It was a very artistic look.
"I presume that Alice has explicated our individual styles and magnified it exponentially to reach this exaggerated and over-the-top version of our day to day outfits," Andrej said as he looked at himself in the mirror. I could never even write as eloquently as he speaks even with a thesaurus.
"I appreciate the fact that she provided us with the clothes and even some refreshments. Not to mention she even got our sizes correct."
I agreed. I think she intentionally chose Andrej's blouse one size larger to show more skin because there was so much collarboneâdare I say almost shoulderâbeing exposed. How scandalous. I jest. Speaking of Alice, she lightly knocked on the door and asked, "Are you boys finished? Makeup will take a little while."
We all collectively nodded so I went to open the door. "Come on in. We're ready."
When she saw us, she almost dropped the Gatorade in her hands. She squealed happily, almost jumping. "Yay!! You guys look so good. I'm glad these outfits worked out. I was worried they would fit or look weird but I got it perfect. So, who wants to be first?"
Once again, we all shared a look. I shrugged and Em seemed a bit timid, so Andrej walked up. "I'll be first."
Alice set up the makeup on the coffee table, sitting him down on the couch. "I'll start with priming your eyelids. Thankfully you all have beautiful skin so there should be minimal foundation, I'll probably just add some concealer to the under eye area to brighten." She directed her speech back to Andrej. "For you, I want to do an intense smoky eye and sharp eyeliner to lift your eye and make you just have a natural smolder. For your lips, this is a really bold move so tell me if you want it left natural, but I'd like to put a smudged red lip. Maybe a few fake lipstick marks on the neck." ...Like fake hickeys? She ducked her head at the request.
Em's eyebrows raised. "Spicy." I whistled lowly.
Andrej nodded. "Do whatever you wish."
"Thank you." She worked her magic, and holy hell, I need to take eyeliner lessons from her. She literally made a perfect line in one flick of the wrist. What witchcraft was this?! She took parchment paper, made Andrej kiss it, and stamped it on his neck. Pretty ingenious.
Soon, she was finished and Andrej looked like he came straight off a scandalous runway, or came back from partying in Ezra Miller's mansion.
Em seemed in awe of this transformation, galvanizing him to volunteer to be next. "Oh! That looks so good. Alice, you did a great job. Can I be next?"
"Knock yourself out." He was a beaming ray of sunshine, the brightest in the world. He was practically bouncing. Alice pulled out a makeup palette with a peach on it. "We're going for a softer, more natural look, so I'll keep your skin the same. I'm going to put some brown eyeliner and warm tones for your eyelids and give you a slight lip tint with lip gloss." She then took an eyelash curler and defined Em's already long lashes.
Once he saw his reflection in the mirror, he was overjoyed. "Amazing work, Alice."
"You look pretty," I said aloud without even thinking. It became oddly silent for a second before I processed that I said that out loud.
"When do I not?" He asked with a cute smile while giggling. Ugh. I was about to go weak in the knees. Emerson with lip gloss did something to my heart I couldn't quite place. Self-restraint has never been so hard. When she did my makeup, it was similar to Andrej's, but less smoky eye and more smudged eyeliner on the bottom lash line.
"Yeah, you all look great! Andrej, you're up first!" She pushed the red couch in front of the backdrop and draped on some pillows and a velvet, plush throw. "Just be natural and pose however you want."
Andrej nodded and laid on the couch with his legs over where your head usually goes. He extended his arms over his head and angled his head towards the camera.
Alice was beaming. "This is a great shot! You're a natural!"
Em was admiring him. "Were you a professional model?"
Andrej shook his head, already doing another pose. This time he sat up, back straight against the back, and positioned his hands as if he were mid-buttoning (or unbuttoning). He looked to his left so it was basically a side profile. What a flex.
"Damn." With that jawline, it was hard to beat. Well, at least I had height on him.
Alice probably took at least a thousand photos, her finger basically jitter clicking the button. "Hmm. I feel like something is missing." Her face brightened as if a literal light bulb went off. "Aha! Wait right here. I'll grab something!"
Placing her camera on the coffee table, she quickly ran out the room. Em was gushing over Andrej, which he humbly responded. "I wonder what she's getting," I thought out loud. She came in with a snake wrapped around her arm and shoulders. "Oh hell no!" I jumped back and gripped Em's arm. I didn't have an extreme phobia of snakes, I just didn't like them ever since I was bitten by one a few years ago. I'm still scared, though.
Em was quite the opposite. "Oh, cool! I didn't know you had a snake," he remarked. "What breed?"
"A corn snake. It's one of the most common pet snakes and not at all dangerous," she reassured. It appeared at least three feet long, at least long enough to wrap around my neck.
Em got closer to it. "It's so cute, what's its name?"
"Her name is Mabel! She's almost a year old." Mabel was slithering comfortably around Alice's arm.
Andrej was looking at it indifferently, as with most things. "Fascinating. The snakes here in America can be kept as pets. Back in my country, they are all extremely venomous."
Alice laughed. "Yeah Mabel is a kind soul. She's not going to hurt anyone." She looked at me specifically and Mabel's head tilted up towards mine. Uh no. Not cute to me. Nope. "Andrej, if you're comfortable, I want you to pose with Mabel. This will give me an edge over my other classmates and I'm excited to hear what my teacher has to say about it."
Andrej eyed Mabel warily, which is completely understandable. Despite that, he accepted it. "Whatever helps you best."
"Wow, you're super flexible with all this. Are you really sure?" Alice double-checked.
"Of course."
"Okayyy," she said, drawing out the word.
~~~
"No put your leg here!"
"Ow, Robyn that hurts!" Em hissed, sweating.
"Sh*t," I muttered under my breath.
I was supposed to open the windows because this tin can of a garage was poorly ventilated, but instead, I had stubbed my toe on the coffee table, distracted by Em's modeling as he was being directed by Alice. Then as a result of my stubbed toe, I hopped on on foot while holding the other in pain andâlike a cartoonâfell on top of Emerson while he was lying on the ground. It was a very compromising and embarrassing position.
Before he said anything I saw his eyes widen considerably, his breath hitching. "Robyn, you dumbass, you crushed the flowers!" Em reprimanded like the mom he is. It took everything in my willpower to not just kiss those glossy lips. I was internally crying. He pinched my ear. "What a clumsy, lanky noodle you are." Instead of the couch, Em's backdrop was flowers placed around him. Was.
"Uh, sorry y'all. I didn't mean it," I sighed in resignation.
Alice shrugged. "It's fine! We can improvise."
"Thanks for the optimism," I said, completely done with this and I hadn't even taken my photos, which I was sure would come out with me looking completely unphotogenic.
"We can go to the park and have some golden hour lighting. I know this field with tons of butterflies and flowers, it's perfect."
"Sure, but who's driving?" I asked.
"We can all hop into my Camry. I'm not going to put y'all in risk under Robyn's maniacal driving. Just throw the things you need in the trunk," Em offered. I sputtered in indignation. I wasn't that bad at driving. If we're on a time crunch, he's the psycho driver.
"Cool. We don't really need that much since we're just gonna be using natural lighting. It's really just my camera, but I'll bring my portable light-phone stand set up."
We all piled into Emerson's Camry, with me being in the passenger's seat. With this harness and seatbelt, it felt like I was strapped into a kid's car seat. Now I could understand why babies and kids made a fuss about them. It was constricting, but it would be such a pain to go through the process of putting it back on and I didn't want to bother Em about it.
"Everyone buckled up?" Em, said looking at his rearview mirror.
I snorted. "Yes, Em. They're not Emily." He lightly huffed and pushed my shoulder with the back of his hand in embarrassment.
"I-I know, just making sure." He set up his GPS and we were well on the way.
Once we had gotten to the park, I could see why she chose this place. It was beautiful, to put it simply. The air here was so fresh and crisp, the rays of sun painting the land like Midas' hand had delicately skimmed over the landscape in gold. There were butterflies gracefully dancing as if they were pollen in the wind.
"We are so lucky that it isn't cloudy today, it's perfect!" Alice excitedly held her camera bag to her side, eyes scanning for an optimal place for Em. She gasped and pointed to the part of a field where it looked like the pine needles were arranged in an almost bedlike manner. "Deer bed!"
"How do you know?" It could be made by a number of animals. Or like a bunch of kids wanting to jump in it like a leaf pile.
She used her foot to brush away some pine needles and leaves to get a better look at the soil. "Deer prints. They like to seek shelter near pine trees because they can keep heat better."
"We have a chance of seeing them because of the barometric pressure. Since there were some pretty intense winds a while ago that have now died down, they're probably eager to prance about," Em rambled. It astonished me he'd remember random stuff like that and recall facts in the moment.
"Nerd," I smirked at him.
Em embarrassedly picked at the hem of his sleeve. "I just remembered that from watching a random YouTube video that mentioned it at some point."
"Well, then you have very good memory," Alice said. "It's true, they like to be out when the barometric pressure is thirty. I know this because my dad likes to hunt deer as a hobby. He's even taken me a few times."
That surprised me. By the way she dressed, she looked like the type to work for GreenPeace and walk up to you with a clipboard asking you if you wanted to save the planet. By her demeanor you'd think she's one of those 'save all animals' type of person. Alas, it's not good to stereotype and judge people on their appearances. Don't judge a book by its cover or whatever.
"Let's go over there, next to the squirrel post. A lot of butterflies hang out there, hopefully, since it's not that cold. At least it's sunny out."
"Wow this place is fantastical," Em said, ever the lover of fantasy books.
"I want you to lay in between the sunflowers. Don't worry about crushing them, they're due to wilt anytime now since it's only going to get colder. I'm surprised they haven't completely died yet."
"Like this?" Em asked, laying on his back awkwardly.
"Yes. Bend your right knee up and bring your foot closer this way. Tuck one arm behind or above your head. Yes. Perfect!" Alice directed Em the finest details. "These turned out nice! Here," she said while fishing something out her pocket. It was a lollipop. Not the regular flavored ones you'd get after a haircut, but a legitimately aesthetic, clear one with thin strawberry slices in it. She also handed him a glittery lipgloss.
Em appeared confused. "I want you to sit with your legs tucked up to your chest, and with the lollipop in your mouth, look up to the sky. I'm going to take a picture of your side profile. That's good! Perfect, thanks. Y'all come here and look at the good of a model he is." Em got shy at the compliment, what's new, and acted like he didn't want to look at them, hiding behind me timidly.
"That's going to make a bomb-ass portfolio," I said to Alice as she was clicking through the photos.
"I know, right! It's all thanks to you guys, but we should get going. It's getting dark and we still have to do Robyn's."
I rested my hands on my hip. "Where are we going now?"
"Well I originally planned to have a nice sunset crosswalk photo, reminiscent of the Beatles, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe a place with neon lights, but I'm not too keen on going to a club."
"I know a place," Em offered, as if a light bulb went off over his head. "Takao's restaurant," he began, looking at me. Then he looked at Alice. "You mentioned you wanted to treat us to dinner, well, let's kill two birds with one stone. Takao's restaurant is only ten minutes away if we use the interstate. And I think its neon decor is exactly what you're looking for."
Alice slung her bag over her shoulder. "Sounds good to me."
I rubbed my stomach. "Japanese food sounds good right now."
"Andrej, are you good with Japanese food?"
Andrej gracefully shook his head. "I have no dietary restrictions. I am content with whatever you prefer. I appreciate your concerns," he said with a small smile. Though he spoke like a lad from the 1700s, I wished he talked more. I couldn't recall a time when he ever initiated a conversation. He was straightforward and never said anything unnecessary. Hard to find a highschooler like him. Not necessarily bad. Sometimes it was refreshing, as long as he doesn't get too close with Em. No, I'm definitely not jealous. He's got nothing on me.
~~~
I hadn't seen Takao's restaurant before, so I assumed it was like the other asian restaurants I've been to: crowded in one plaza. But it was actually it's own standing building, surprising for the city, with a big parking lot. It had beautiful, oriental architecture, nicely juxtaposing the neon signs which were prominent in Tokyo. Being a weekend night, it was pretty busy.
As Takao was on the younger side, the restaurant effortlessly blended modern design while still tying it to his traditional roots. At the front desk we were greeted by a waitress. She said something in Japanese that I assumed was a form of a 'welcome.' "What is your preferred seating?" She patiently looked expectantly between us, holding the menus in her folded arms. I just looked at Em since he knew this place well.
"Tatami seating, please."
We were led to a gridded booth with seating on the floor that I've only ever seen in anime. Not that I watch it. The low table was nice, dark, and polished wood. Everything aside, it was so cool. On the wall was a collage of vintage Japanese newspapers. "Would you like to order any drinks right now?" The waitress asked. After telling her our choice of beverages, she quickly remarked, "By the way, you bunch have great sense in fashion." Then she bowed slightly before walking away.
Alice excitedly looked around. "I've always wanted to visit a place like this! There's so much photographic potential. It's also fun to learn about culture."
Meanwhile, it seemed like Em was looking for somebody, most likely Takao. "Yeah, a lot of influencers and vloggers like to visit this place. Uncle Takao is doing great.' He was very proud of him, which is understandable considering Takao used to be a garbage collector.
Once the waitress came back with the drinks, Em asked for Takao. She was more than happy to fetch the friendly owner.
"My boy, Emerson!" I could recognize that loud, bubbly (short) man anywhere. "Welcome! I'm glad you bought your friends along as well. I hope you like it here. I'll be taking your orders personally. Anything that interests you?" looking at the menu, half of it was in Japanese and was just too much reading in general.
I leaned over to whisper to Em. "Can we just get a combo meal for all of us?"
Em sighed, but smiled at me as if it was ridiculous. "I'll just ask Uncle Takao to surprise us. Let the others order what they want."
Andrej was the first to order, requesting a pork cutlet bowl. Alice ordered for yakisoba noodles. Takao nodded at all these choices, saying how they were all delicious. "And how about you two?"
"We'll have some of your classic yakitori for appetizers. As for the main course..." Em held out the menus to Takao. "You know what, surprise Robyn and I."
Takao laughed heartily. "That's fun! Food will be ready in less than fifteen minutes." That is quite impressive considering how crowded this place is.
I twirled the chopsticks around my fingers like a pen and Em lightly smacked my hand. "Mind your manners, Robbie. Some people are superstitious here."
I shrugged. "Sorry." It was a habit for me to fidget something, and since we were sitting on the floor, I couldn't just bounce my leg.
"I'm gonna admit, I can't use chopsticks," Alice said defeatedly, fumbling with the metal chopsticks in her hand. I could relate. I mean, I could still use them, but it was mediocre at best. At least I wasn't stabbing at the food.
Andrej decided to speak up. "If you desire for a facile method for utilizing chopsticks, I recommend the wooden kind as they provide better grip." He then demonstrated how to hold the chopsticks and gave some tips. I could take some notes. She practiced picking up her napkin.
"Ohh! That's how you do it. Thanks, Andrej. I didn't want to look like an idiot shoving and stabbing the food."
"So you're pretty serious about photography?" I asked Alice.
"Yeah. I want to work with models. After watching America's Top Models as a kid, it got me hooked on it. But rewatching it now that I'm older, it made me realize something needs to change in the industry. Photography is an art. It captures moments in life as well. If the modelling industry doesn't work out, I'll probably work with family portraits because kids aren't so bad." Alice had been very mature with us so far, considering the fact that she was in the grade below us and I know some hella weird sophomores. Sometimes I wonder why she'd hang out with a bunch of weirdos, but if we can make her feel better and more confident about herself then it's fine. Other people would think it's weird that there's only one girl hanging out with a bunch of boys and call her hoe. But after spending time with her, it's obvious she isn't like that. Even though she originally approached Em because she thought he was cute. Anyways, when is he not? I don't blame her. "I'll go wash my hands, excuse me."
Takao and the waitress came by with our Yakitori appetizers and some spring rolls. "Spring rolls are on the house. Your main courses will be out soon. Does anyone have dessert in mind? We can prepare those while you eat so there wouldn't be a wait."
"I'll have some mochi," Em said, not surprising me at all. He was a literal mochi himself. Sweet and squishy.
"Dango sounds great," I said, unsure of my pronunciation. Just looking at the description made me want to drool. "I'll go wash my hands, too," I said absentmindedly before standing up. I didn't even ask where the restrooms were. Everything just smelled good, it completely escaped my mind.
I figured the restrooms were near the kitchen because that's where they usually are and I was lucky that my hunch was correct. When I exited from my twenty-second, very much interesting, handwashing session, I coincidentally bumped into Alice. I thought she'd be back at the table by now, but I figured it was a good time to talk about Em.
"So..." we both started at the same time. We paused for two seconds and then said "You go first," simultaneously, yet again. Then we laughed, because who wouldn't.
I gestured for her to go first. "So, uhm, how to say this... I'm sorry!"
I tilted my head in confusion. For what? I couldn't recall her doing anything wrong. I really hope she didn't do anything wrong. Nathan and Oliver's situation was already a headache and a half. "For what?"
"I swear I'm not going after Emerson anymore. I didn't know you two were a thing. Don't worry, I only see you two as friends." This further perpetuated my confusion, my face contorting more. She probably sensed the question marks hovering over my head. "Aren't you two, like, dating?"
"Uh, we're just really good friends. Don't be sorry, a lot of people think that." Including my aunt, but we don't talk about her.
"O-oh. Well, I'm sorry for assuming. I know you guys don't k-kiss and hold hands, but some couples don't do PDA. It was just the way you looked at him. So I just assumed..."
There was just a lot for me to process at once. First of all, we kissed each other on the cheek, but I wasn't about to correct her, and we also held hands from time to time (I'm very conflicted on that because he could probably feel my pulse racing a million miles and hour while I also wanted him to never let go). The main thing I was hooked on was the fact that she mentioned, "The way I look at him?" I reiterated. She gasped and tried to backtrack, but she already had spoken her mind.
"Uhm, nevermind. I'm sure you can figure it out on your own, buddy." she awkwardly patted me, but with the drastic height difference, she was patting my elbow. "We should get back, I've already taken too much time."
For someone with short legs she scurried away before I could ask her to further elaborate. Am I that obvious? When I came back to the table, it was perfectly timed as I could see Takao and the waitress unloading a cart filled with our orders, steaming hot and smelling delicious.
"Robyn, you finally came back from your number two?"
I grimaced. "Not in front of the food, Em."
He snorted and our eyes followed the huge bowl of nikujaga. When I say huge bowl, I meant huge, large-ass bowl. "This is your surprise, Uncle Takao?" Emerson asked. This was definitely not for one person, maybe two. Or a family of five.
"Have fun sharing boys, and chow down. This is one of our challenges. 'Okina Boru.' There are a few dishes you can choose to put in a large bowl and eat. If you can finish this in under twenty minutes, you'll get your picture taken and put on the bulletin board. If you finish it in record time, then you'll get a year's worth of free food, once a month, zero expenses. I believe in you two ravenous boys." He gave us a thumbs-up. "I'll check up on y'all in a few."
"I actually feel a little sick looking at it myself," Alice commented, taking small bites into the appetizer.
"I came here hungry, but I didn't come here starving for the past three days. Can we actually eat this?" Em gulped.
"Easy. This is total light work. We better start now!" I started to shove the sweet potato into my mouth, lowering my head to the edge of the bowl so that I could basically shovel it all in.
Alice chuckled to herself while shaking her head. Yeah I know I looked like an idiot, but at least I looked like an idiot that enjoyed the food, because honestly, it tasted like heaven.
Em was slow at first, but I teased him to the point where his competitive side started showing. "Come on, Em, let's win this thing! Doesn't free food sound great?"
He was chewing on the vegetables, being (admittedly) much cleaner than I was. "I'm trying, Robyn. But my stomach isn't exactly a black void. And you exercise, like, everyday. I do it once a week, at most." Well, we both had pretty fast metabolism, but this was a lot even for him.
"More meat for me," I shrugged, taking a large gulp of water to wash the nikujaga-goodness. That made Em snort and cover his mouth, his shoulders hunching over. He was so adorable. Eh, screw it. "You're so cute." There would've been a 'no homo' but that just wouldn't be true. I covered my face with my glass of water, which really didn't do much.
"O-oh, uhm." Yeah, should've expected that. He took a gulp of a potato, avoiding eye-contact, with his cheeks slightly reddening.
"Really, guys? In front of my salad?" Alice feigned offense. "I have never felt more single in my life."
Even Andrej, one to observe rather than poke fun, spoke up. "Indeed. They do behave quite similarly to a married couple." He had a sly smile. So he does know how to have a sense of humor.
"If I took a shot every single time someone told us that we were a couple, I'd be dead of alcohol poisoning." And in just the timespan of the past week.
"Maybe they're trying to tell you something," Alice coughed into her hand not-so-subtly. But I guess subtly enough that Em didn't hear it.
"Ah, Robyn, geez, get your chopsticks out of my face. I'm really trying."
"Oh, sorry. That was an accident." It was subconscious, but it appeared as if we were doing pretty good. At least halfway done.
Takao came back, with dessert, and checked our progress. "Nice, boys, but you better pick up the pace if you want the record. I'd say you're about third or second place." Impressed, he rubbed his chin stubble.
Em wiped his mouth with the napkin. "I don't think I'll have room for dessert. Thank goodness this food is delicious, or else I would've given up by now."
"Next time we come back, we don't eat for the whole day. How much time is left?"
"About thirteen minutes."
I gauged how much was left in the bowl, compared to the amount of time we had left in school lunch. "Come on, Em. It's just like school lunch. Pretend that you are going to be late to your next class if you don't finish it in twelve minutes." He had an affinity for punctuality, so I used that to our advantage, taking big bites from the potatoes.
Emerson groaned, looking up, as if he was saying a little prayer to himself. "Ugh, fine." He inhaled, took a gulp of water, and started to scoop large amounts of food into his personal bowl.
Alice raised her fists slightly. "Andrej and I will be your cheerleaders, y'all can do this!"
By the two-minute mark we were so close, basically three large bites left for each of us. "I think we've got a record, here, boys," Takao stated with raised eyebrows. We couldn't just let this all go to waste after all the effort, we had to win. I was confident in Em considering he hated losing.
Near the end, even I had trouble finishing it all up. Since Em took it easy in the first half, he didn't struggle as much as me and finished strong. "Time?!" I looked at Takao with wide eyes and a food baby of three months.
No matter how tired I was, I was going to make sure not to sleep for at least a few hours afterwards. Or else this baby would never get digested. "You guys won by fourteen seconds!"
Em and I immediately broke out in a cheer and hugged each other. Probably for a second too long when I could smell my shampoo on his hair. Smell my rose-scented lotion on his neck. Just thinking about it made my insides flip inside out, it was beginning to get tortuous. But it wasn't time to think about my irrelevant feelings. Just bottle that sh*t up for now.
"I'm beyond impressed. The previous winners were some beefy guys. Guess you can't beat a bunch of ravenous kids. Honestly, some broke college students may break that record in the future."
I laughed. "Whoever is the next winner is not my problem. We got our prize. I feel so accomplished." I tucked my hands on the back of my head and belched unceremoniously, although it felt like a cathartic experience, and excused myself at the evident disgust to Em.
"Still can't tell if it's worth it, but next time we come here, I'll probably thank my past self."
"Here, I'll get some of your empty dishes. Anything else you guys want to order? Or should I just bring the bill over?" We all shook our heads. "Wonderful. I'll get it to you guys soon."
"When I woke up, I didn't think I'd be doing all this today," Em said. When I woke up with him in my arms this morning, I wanted to stay like that forever. Just thinking about it made me smile. It was something to look forward to everyday, goodbye insomnia.
~~~
After talking with Takao, he eventually had to leave our company because his restaurant was extremely busy and successful, but not without giving us more free dessert.
Alice sighed gratefully. "That owner is so nice. I only had to pay for about fifty-percent of that bill. I'm glad to know you guys. Ah, we still need Robyn's photos."
I had almost forgotten about that aspect, but then I took one good look at myself and inwardly sighed. This harness was the only thing holding me in after the nikujaga. I burped one last time and nodded. "Let's get this over with."
There was a nice photography spot next to the bulletin board: a brick wall with aesthetic signs and more vintage Japanese newspapers on the wall. "This lighting is so good!" Alice was practically drooling. I could just see her creativity running wild. "Okay, so can you put your hands in your pockets. Yeah, like that, but hunch over slightly so you're relaxed." After that, I also posed with mostly a back-profile, then with my arms raised above my head while leaning against the wall.
I was definitely going to take advantage of our prize next time we came back here.
~~~
On the car ride to drop Alice back at her homeâEm had offered to drop Andrej homeâthe three of us reviewed the photos and were beyond impressed. "Well, damn. If you don't win the contest, those judges are tripping. There's no way anyone else would put this much effort." They already looked so good even without the editing and the touch-ups.
"Thanks, you guys. I'll send the groupchat the ones y'all like best so you can post it on instagram or wherever you'd like."
"Oh, cool. Thanks for this Alice," Em said. "I know modeling is not for me," complete and utter bullshit, "but now, I have this experience."
We made more smalltalk and before we knew it, we were parked in Em's driveway, right next to Andrej's house. We were supposed to come back to my place, but it'd be weird if we pulled out now, so Em and I just decided to just go into his place for the time being. Besides, he still had to get some belongings.
Of course, by the time we came back, Emily was already sleeping (or should at least be in bed), but Em's parents were still up and talking in the kitchen. Emerson went straight to his mom and hugged her. "Hey, Mom."
"Hey yourself. You smell like rice and strangely enough, the outdoors. Did you two go on a date?" Her eyes not-so-subtly slid to mine at the word 'date.' How and why did Diana's mind immediately go there? As much as I loved her like a second mother, she was one of those women who jumped to conclusions with a pogostick.
"Ha, no Mom, we hung out with a couple of friends. I'm going to grab some clothes and other things and then we'll head to Robyn's place."
Diana nodded slowly, exchanging a look with Charlie. "Okay, then. I'll leave you two boys to your own devices then. Just remember to stay responsible and safe." She winked and I had to resist the urge to ask more why??
We headed upstairs to Em's room and he said, "Can you get my shampoo, and conditioner from my bathroom?" He was filling a drawstring backpack with some clothes.
"Okay." Was it weird that I wanted him to only use my shampoo and conditioner? It's not like I was his boyfriend, I had no right acting so possessive. Okay, well maybe a little. Maybe I liked him too much. Maybe my feelings were getting out of hand. But maybe they'll go away. Eventually. If I ignored them enough.
I couldn't ruin our friendship over some stupid crush. I've been doing so well so far. As smart as Em is with everything else, he is an oblivious idiot when it comes to his nonexistent romantic life. And let's keep it that way.
"Are you okay, Robbie? Can you find them?"
His voice made me jump, startled at the path my mind went. "Oh, yeah. I was just reading the labels, uh, these are bad for your hair." He came into the bathroom, standing dangerously close to me. I held the bottle farther.
"Oh, really, now?"
"Yeah, these have silicon and phosphates in them. Leaves white crap in your hair. Looks like lice. Don't want that." I mentally gave myself a pat on my back for that excuse made up on the spot.
"Huh. Since when did you become a hairstylist?"
"Since I grew out my hair, trust me. You don't want that sitting in your hair." Bullshit. Complete and utter cow dung. I could honestly use a 3 in 1 body wash in my hair and not give a flying Oreo cookie.
He raised an eyebrow. "I was scared for a second. You using the word 'phosphate' outside of chemistry class is completely ridiculous to me. Guess I'll have to buy some new ones then."
"No need to waste your money, you can just use mine. I have plenty."
"Okay," he shrugged. And that was that. "Hmm. Anything else you think I should bring?" His eyes scanned his bedroom. "My pillow?"
I scoffed. "I'm your pillow." No, I'm not that desperate, but he literally has the habit of kicking off blankets and pillows, and even me sometimes. Not saying that's why we spoon but I'm not complaining.
"True," he agreed when I thought he was going to say something witty like the smartass he is.
"Let's go," I said, turning my back to him so he wouldn't see my face burning.
"Wait," I paused, limbs stiff, "I'm going to see Emily." I let out a breath of didn't know I was holding.
"Let's say a quick bye together. I don't think she knows about the situation."
He smiled. "Okay."
I lightly knocked on Emily's door. After a few seconds I quietly cracked it open to see her rubbing her eyes open with the back of her hands.
Em and I sat at the edge of her bed. "Sorry to wake you, Emily. We just dropped by here quickly before we go to Robyn's house for a while."
"You're moving to his house?" She asked with an apparent confused expression.
"Temporarily," he continued. "Think of it as an extended sleepover for just the two of us, okay?"
"That's not fair. How come it's just you two?" Em and I exchanged glances.
"Well, my mom is going to be there," I supplemented.
"Still," she pouted.
"Geez, Emily, you're acting like we're moving to the other side of the country. We're only a few blocks away from each other. You could literally ride your bike to our-Robyn's house." Our house. Huh. It was scary how much I liked the sound of that.
"Fine. I'll ask mom to at least bring me to play dolls once a week."
Em nodded. "Maybe I'll try to convince her three times if it's possible. Then we can all play with dolls and watch Barbie Princess Charm School." For the millionth time. There was one day the three of us spent the entire night up, much to Diana's dismay, to have a Barbie movie marathon. Princess Charm school was Emily's favorite Barbie movie. Personally, I really liked Princess and the Pauper. The newer ones suck ass and are super ugly. Except the TV show, Life in the Dreamhouse. I can't believe it was discontinued, Raquelle carried that show and Ryan was probably one-tenth of my gay awakening. Haha anyways...
Emily seemed happy with that, pumping her fist in the air. "Yay!"
Em held a finger up to his lips. "Shh, mom still thinks you're asleep. We have to go now. Good night, Emily." He kissed the top of her head then I hugged her.
"Bye, Emmie," she yawned squirming under the sheets. I patted the blanket and gave her a wave.
The both of us tried to sneak downstairs as quietly as possible, but of course Em's parents were still up. Emerson just nodded at his parents. "Bye mom and dad. We'll get going now." He headed towards the door, but Diana clicked her tongue.
"We're going to borrow Robyn here for a quick sec." Diana had her hands around my arm, essentially trapping me here. My heartbeat quickened, similar to the feeling when you get called to the principal's office.
He shrugged. "Okay. I'll turn on the car and wait then."
Even though Diana was smiling, she still could be intimidating if she wanted to, no matter if she was a full foot shorter. She let go of my arm, which I took the opportunity to cross. "Ah, finally. It seemed like I could never get you alone without my son," she said with a sigh.
"Is there anything y'all need?" I asked cautiously.
Charlie was reading something, but I could tell he was paying attention to our conversation.
"Just a little bit of your time, sweetie. Obviously, we have agreed for Em to help out at your house and stay there for the time being while your mother recovers. I'm glad we can be of help. We know he is almost an adult and can make decisions for himself, but just know we allowed him to do this because we not only trust him, but you. You have shown only respect for us, so it's time for us to do the same, as you're always welcome here. Charlie and I see you as a second son, okay?" I nodded slightly.
Charlie bookmarked his page and gracefully set it down on the table. He seemed very tired, but managed a smile. "As long as you two are safe. Just keep our dear boy safe, okay?"
"Okay." It was barely audible. Maybe because Charlie reminded me of my dad.
"Good," Charlie said, patting my forearm.
"You have nothing to worry about Mr. and Mrs. Scott."
"Well, there's one thing," Diana grimaced, making me gulp in nervousness. Charlie continued to read again.
"And what would that be?"
Diana seemed like she was conflicted with what she wanted to say, but ended up saying it anyways. "Are you two dating, yet?"
"Yet?" Why was everyone on this planet asking me if we were dating?! Even his damn parents. Okay, world, shove what I can't have in my face. It's almost taunting me at this point. I tried to play the oblivious card. "Does it seem like we are?" I tried to look confused. Why can't two best friends being close just be normalized? I'm sick of toxic masculinity.
Diana coughed into her hand. "Yeah, I'm going to be honest." Charlie and her exchanged another look. "Okay, let's backtrack. Do you like my son?"
"Uhhâ" Oh my gosh it's happening. That's it. I'm dead.
"Goodness, Diana. The kid is going to go into cardiac arrest. You couldn't have laid it down any softer." Charlie shook his head.
Diana lightly smacked Charlie's shoulder. "Shut up, Charlie. It's already as awkward enough as it is. I'm trying my best, dear." She looked at me apologetically. "Sorry, you don't have to answer it if youâ" I took a deep breath.
"Yeah," I blurted out. I immediately buried my face in my hands, not wanting to see their faces. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.
"Oh," they said simultaneously. I could hear the surprise in their voices. They were for sure stunned.
Diana was rubbing my back. "It's ok, sweetie. You can look at us."
I looked at her first and hugged her. "I've never admitted this to anyone before." How could I when I could barely come to terms with it myself? Now that I've said it out loud, there's no going back now.
"I'm glad you trust us enough, then," Charlie said.
Why did I almost feel like crying? Should I just come out to them now? It felt like I was betraying my parents, coming out to other people before them, but this could be practice. There was no way I could tell my mom. I had no idea how she would take it, especially in her state.
I straightened my back and inhaled and exhaled deeply. "I'm gay." This time Charlie stood up. I had to refrain from recoiling completely. I didn't expect the both of them to envelop me in a hug so warm, so welcoming, so accepting, I wanted to cry on the spot. So I did.
"Oh, Robyn," Diana said sweetly, softly. "It's okay, please don't cry. We still love you. Every part of you, thank you for telling us. We're proud of you." It only made me want to cry harder, but I sniffled and pressed my palms to my eyes. I couldn't look like this in front of Em. Of course, it was futile.
"Y-you guys are really fine with it?"
Charlie's deep voice was just as warm as Diana's. "Of course, Hook."
"Even with the situation I'm in?"
"Yes, sweetie. I already said we trust you enough." She lightly combed my hair aside. "Lucky for you, my son is denser than a triple chocolate-fudge-brownie cake. Blessed with a brain and a kind heart, but clueless with his own love life. But I still know you won't take advantage of him."
"Yeah," I chuckled. An idiot. My idiot.
They retracted from the hug and Diana stepped back to eat her hand on her hip with a shit-eating grin I was far too familiar with. "Besides, he still looks like a virgin." What was that supposed to mean?! I choked so hard my spit I thought I was going to die. "He's too shy for anything or else something would've happened by now. Look, I get it. You have a thing for him, there's these crazy hormones, you two are technically at the age of consent, etcetera, etcetera." Charlie coughed, which Diana gave him the side-eye for. Just remember to use condoms if anything were to occur." Forget cardiac arrest, I was going to ascend up into the skies on the spot. The fact that she still smiled like this was nothing! What a terrifying woman...
"For heaven's sakes, Diana. He knows that already."
She shrugged nonchalantly. "Just making sure."
"Don't worry, nothing will happen. He seems like the type to 'wait after marriage' anyways."
That got Diana to double down in laughter, wiping tears from her left eye. Charlie coughed, "I'd prefer it to be that way."
"You're right. Our son is a prude like you," she managed to wheeze in between laughs.
Charlie momentarily scrunched his face at his wife's comment and turned to me. "If there's anyone my son would want to marry, I wouldn't be mad if it's you."
"Uh, thanks?" They were seeing way too far in the future. How would they know if I would still have a crush on him by the time we would be ready for marriage? It's not like I'm in love with him. Wait, how do I know if he's even straight or not? I wouldn't ask him, that's just not right. What if he still needs to come to terms with his own sexuality? There were so many things that could happen between now and ten years.
Diana raised her fists in the air. "We're cheering for you," she winked. Then she looked at the clock on the stove and patted me on the back for the last time. "It's getting late. You should be getting along now. We've kept you for a little too long."
"Goodnight, Hook."
"Goodnight, Diana and Charlie." They gave me smiles and I scurried to the car, accidentally slamming the Camry door shut. That was insane. I'm crazy. They're crazy.
"Robyn?" Em asked lightly.
I jolted in the seat, clicking in my seatbelt shakily. "Yeah?"
"You good? What did my parents say? It took longer than I thought it would."
"I ended up coming out to them."
Em gasped. "Really?" I nodded. He squealed in delight and immediately hugged me. Gosh, am I a teddy bear? With all these hugs... Who am I kidding this is one of the best ones. It's Em. "That's great, I'm so proud of you. I'm sure they took it well." I had to be the one to pull back first. There was no way he couldn't hear my heartbeat.
"Yeah, they did." Too well.
"Good, because you seemed a little frazzled when you came into the car." He reversed from the driveway.
"It's a scary thing to do."
"I bet it is." And we were silent for the rest of the short drive.
~~~
I was the first one in bed, which is normal since I try to catch as much sleep as possible. Of course, it doesn't usually work because of my insomnia, but it's better with Em. He was taking a shower and I was laying with a million thoughts bouncing on my head. I snapped my eyes open. Everything was replaying in my mind, everything busy.
Instead I pulled out my phone and earbuds and played some calming music. When it was an unfamiliar song, I checked the screen, and this one I hadn't heard yet.
Could've Been - H.E.R.
As I listened to the lyrics rather than just the music, it was scary how close the lyrics hit home. They portrayed something I was scared of if I ever told Em my feelings.
The bathroom door opened and I immediately skipped the song. It wasn't helping. "Hey, Robyn. What are you listening to?"
I looked down at my phone. I wasn't even paying attention. "Lovely by Billie Eillish and Khalid."
"That's a good song. Having trouble falling asleep?"
"Yeah."
"Come here."
He laid next to me and wrapped his arms loosely around my neck, putting his face in my chest, and intertwining our legs. My right arm was the one under his head, holding my phone. "Ahh. This is comfortable." His hair was still wet but it was my conditioner that I could smell.
I was jealous of how fast he fell asleep. I used my arm that wasn't holding my phone to brush his wet hair out of his face. "You're going to catch a cold if you go to bed with wet hair," I whispered. Of course he didn't hear me.
My phone screen lit up with a text message from Alice specifically, not the group chat.
Alice
see attached image
It was a photo of Em and I, when I accidentally fell on top of him in the studio. She had captured that moment perfectly, crushed flowers and all, it seemed intentional. I couldn't look at it any longer. No wonder she said the things she said in the restaurant. It was written all over my face.
Alice
sorry if I woke you up, I found this gem amongst the photos I was sorting thru
thought you'd want to have it :)
I didn't even bother responding as I dropped my phone onto the ground and closed my eyes.
That night I dreamt about Emerson Leigh Scott.
Walking down the aisle.
At our wedding.
With the biggest smile ever.
When I woke abruptly at four in the morning with a smile on my face, I glanced down at Em's sleeping figure and decided this was something I wouldn't mind having for the rest of my life.
My dream was something that could be.
I was determined to not make it a could've been.
~~~
Not this having 12.5k words.. (this marks 100k words in my entire google document of this story and ~210 pages with 10pt font for reference)
If you're reading this, congratulations! You finally made it. So what do we think? ð
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