Chapter 12: Rejection: Part 3

My senses are firing on all cylinders of their highest ability, and it’s making me a paranoid wreck as I try to forge a path without a trace through the dense forest that leads to where I want to go.

I run in that direction, stopping and dropping behind trees anytime I catch sight of movement or pick up a sound or scent.

With my heart pounding so hard through my chest, I’m sure anyone nearby will hear it. I try to calm down but to no avail.

I’ve never been a risk-taker or brave enough to do anything wild, like defy Juan Santo. I must be insane.

I know if I get caught, they’ll drag me in front of Juan for breaking the rules set for me.

He might worry about killing his son, but he won’t worry about putting him through a bit of pain, and I’m not one for a public flogging if I can help it.

Colton is stronger than me, and even if he feels my pain, Juan will use it to teach us a lesson. I don’t doubt that cold-hearted bastard would do it for that reason. I’ve never liked him.

I feel like I’ve run at least five miles before I stop for a much-needed breath, gasping crazily with crushing agony, my limbs beginning to ache and burn from overuse, and the unfamiliarity of running at speed like this.

Much like unfit people, we have to build our stamina so the human side can catch up, and I have not been good at building up to this kind of sprint.

My legs and muscles are throbbing, and I feel like my tendons are being torn apart.

I collapse behind an overgrown ridge to regain some equilibrium so my lungs don’t cave in and give myself a few moments before dragging myself up and walking the rest of the way at human speed now that I’ve made good time.

Deep in the woods, following the worn animal path to the cavern that I know well, I feel a little lighter and less depressed.

Every kid has been here at least once in their life, long before the vampire attacks. This was the go-to spot to hang out, play, and swim in the lake nearby, and the path made it impossible to get lost.

Animals walking the link to their watering hole left a helpful guide once you reach the shadowy depth of a forest so dense that it’s permanently in the dark, even on the brightest of days.

I know this is why he chose this place. As a child, in my memories, he would have seen I frequented it a lot with my brother, Jasper. He knows I know it well.

No one comes here now; they’re too afraid, yet every kid knows the way and knows exactly how to get here.

Even after all the years of quiet living, the fear of vampires still haunts us. They are still out there somewhere, and shaded, gloomy, secluded areas like this would be ideal for them to hunt.

A twig breaking off to my left makes me jump a foot high, head snapping to follow its source and eyes burning to see what is coming.

I dart inside a large hollow log to conceal myself and glance around, heart elevated and breath laboring quickly. Senses are kicking into red alert.

~“It’s me… don’t be afraid.”~

The much-longed-for voice in my head smothers me with calmness like thick honey, and I exhale with relief and something else, that joy at being close to him again.

But I wonder why I haven’t picked up on his scent or his proximity yet. We’re supposed to feel our mates when they’re close.

~“Where are you?”~ I mutter awkwardly as I crawl back out, peeking cautiously, picking the dried moss from my hair, and I straighten up to scan the woods around me.

“Keeping my distance, downwind of you, over here,” he calls back verbally, drawing me to him by voice alone. That explains why I didn’t feel or smell him approaching.

He’s close enough to make me jump, and I spin in the direction his voice came from.

I catch sight of him jumping down from a rock overhanging the clearing to one lower, and he pulls on a T-shirt over those sculpted, tanned abs and throws a backpack to the side of him.

He must have carried clothes with him, and I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed but eye him appreciatively.

My body is heating up with the insane lust I feel for this man because he got within fifty feet.

My crazy hormones have had me dreaming of doing all kinds of naked things with him that a virgin shouldn’t know how to do.

I move toward him, but he raises his palm and throws me a serious frown that stops me in my tracks. That dominant warning I have to heed.

“Stay there. Don’t come closer. It’s better for both of us if we keep our distance.” He seems exceptionally wary. His voice is a little husky and unsure.

“Why? What do you think I’m going to do to you?” I retort, stupidly hurt, and react as if he offended me on every level.

It’s an insane disappointment, eating me up inside because all I want to do is run into his arms and continue what was interrupted days ago. I need to feel his skin on mine and hate that he clearly doesn’t.

“It’s not you. It’s me. I’m finding things hard, and after what happened at the pack house, it’s safer to keep you at least thirty feet away from me at all times.”

He shrugs, rounding those large shoulders and drawing my eye, making it obvious he doesn’t trust himself.

I guess he means the kiss and the urge to mark me that followed seconds after. I guess I’m wrong, and he does have the same insane need I do.

I have to agree; proximity makes me want to touch him all the more, but thirty feet is a little extreme.

“So why bring me here if you have no intention of coming anywhere near me?” I spin on my heel and head to the log once more to stomp some of this sudden aggression out.

Only this time, I climb on top of the rickety old wood and slump my butt down, dropping my legs over the side to sit comfortably.

I am sulking inwardly, like a chastised toddler, and focusing my eyes on the snowdrops pushing through the only crack of sunlight to hit the ground rather than look at him.

My pride is wounded, and as stupid as it is, I’m mad at him for it. This hunger is only cured with contact.

“I owed you some sort of explanation for cutting off our link, for staying away after we… I needed to do this properly.”

Colton’s voice makes me all kinds of crazy. That deep male sexiness laced with a raw, husky, almost commanding edge.

He has always had a lovely voice, that underlying hint of a Colombian accent in its depths, and now, more than ever, it does insane things to my insides and dampens my irritability a little. Not quite all, though.

“Your father made it pretty clear, all the whys and whatnots. I don’t need you to repeat it,” I snap a little too tetchily.

Instantly, I get hit with a wave of sadness, maybe regret, as it moves over me, and I pick up on his feelings.

I glance up and see he is marginally closer, and I guess that’s why I can now feel what he does.

In our separation, I couldn’t feel much except my misery. I think that’s the only positive about being apart. Now I’m carrying both of our emotions.

“I need to explain ~my~ reasons. I don’t blindly do what he says… I have my own mind. Please don’t be like this. I’m trying to move us forward.”

He also slumps down on top of a rock not far from me and mirrors my pose, dropping his legs over the edge as we sit facing each other across the clearing in what seems like a vast gulf between us.

All my hopes of reuniting with passion and lust die a hefty death and depress me even more.

“So explain, and let me go back to my exciting solitude and imprisonment. I’m totally missing out on the adventures of the day meeting you here,” I say.

It’s sarcastic and drenched in bitterness that even shocks me, and I flinch at how nasty and cold I sound, but it’s the pure frustration at the predicament we find ourselves in.

Realizing my hurt feelings are getting the better of me, I try to swallow it back and throw him a wary look fleetingly.

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch him frowning and then looking down at his swaying feet, regret all over his face that pains me all the more for my hostility.

“I’m doing what’s best for the future of the pack… all of them. You included. I care what happens to all of us. My father was right, and my mate needs to be worthy to lead by my side one day.

“We need a strong luna with pure blood, a warrior who can rise in battle if needed, and we both know that’s not you.

“The vampires won’t stay down forever. They’ll rise in my reign, if not before. I need to think of our kind and not what my soul craves.

“Distance is best, and in time, maybe we’ll learn to live without it consuming us the way it is now. We have to be practical and think of my responsibility with who I am.

“It’s a heavy weight I’ve carried my whole life… it’s not yours to share. I need someone like Carmen, with strong gifts and a thirst for blood when the time comes.

“She’s a warrior… you’re a land child. Your family was growers, gatherers… not hunters, not killers. It is what it is.”

His whole manner and tone are low and apologetic, a slight rasp to his voice, and he can’t seem to look me in the eye.

I can’t speak as his words choke my throat almost closed. My eyes fill with warm tears that blur everything in front of me.

I’m wounded by something I already know as factual, at being weak-blooded and nothing close to a leader, but it still stings to hear him say it so directly.

I’ve never been more ashamed of my bloodline than at this moment.

My heart aches painfully with stabbing throbs, and my insides clench with the sharpest of pangs as he verbalizes exactly what I have known was coming, deep down inside, but was too afraid to actually believe.

“You’re rejecting me as your mate,” I point out croakily, fighting to get the words out through the shards of broken glass caught in my throat while dying a little inside.

It’s almost unheard of for your mate to reject you after imprinting. I don’t think it’s ever happened. No one challenges the Fates in this way.

I should have known it would happen to me, though. I mean, not even a regular wolf wants to shackle himself to a reject as a mate. That kind of shame tars a family for generations. And he’s hardly regular.

I knew this was how it was if I stopped and looked at the bigger picture, but somehow, it’s different having him say it instead of Alpha Juan.

I guess I held a small candle of hope that Colton would feel as strongly as I within our bond and deny his father’s commands.

As stupid as I know that is, I wanted to believe I was worthy of someone, and maybe the Fates were telling me that.

I’ve always known the importance of his position among us. It’s why he has spent his life acting like royalty and avoiding my kind altogether. This shouldn’t be a shock.

“I have no choice, Lorey.”

I instantly break and sob at his use of the pet name used by my family so long ago.

Turning away from him, I slide off the log to move so he can’t see the tears stinging my face with their invasive appearance.

Another sign of my weakness and flawed lineage—I cry when everything goes wrong.

~“Then why bring me here for this? Why not tell me this back in my room and avoid this agony?”~ I send mentally, defying him on his stance of not linking anymore.

I’m unable to say what I need verbally as I stagger away from him and break into a run, knowing leaving is a knee-jerk reaction.

But I have no space in me for this kind of pain right now, and I don’t want to stay and drag it out for what is next to come.

I can’t handle it; I need to return to my room and never again let him close enough to feel. He wanted me here for one reason only: he has to declare my rejection to make it final. Screw him.

~“Lorey, wait. Don’t go. Please.”~

I ignore his mental pleas coming at me desperately, struggling to breathe as I break into a super run and try to put distance between us.

Sprinting and then hitting full stride, I quickly skim over the landscape and clear fallen trees.

I’m caught in my need to flee and focused on nothing else, reverting to all fours as my body aches to transform and set me free.

I rein it in and shake it out of my head. I don’t want to be in wolf form when I’m this distraught. That kind of loss of control can be devastating and forbidden.

I run with blurry vision, washed almost blind with my tears, and gasp when I’m suddenly yanked back, mid-jump, and hauled backward to tumble into a mossy patch on the forest floor with a thud.

I roll and land on all fours and instantly bristle defensively. Breathing heavily, I square up to my pursuer aggressively, a new feral kind of instinct I’ve never felt before, full-on fierce triggered.

I calm instantly when faced with Colton, his eyes glowing amber and equally poised for battle.

We stay separated, panting, staring at each other, mere feet apart, closer than we should be, and fueled by pure, painful emotion.

“You think this isn’t just as hard for me? That doing this is going to cure me of everything?” Colton’s desperate plea shines through his own broken words.

It breaks down my anger, shattering me into tiny pieces.

“I had my life mapped out, chose a mate I loved, and thought I knew what the future held.

“I didn’t think this could ever happen, and now, I spend every waking second wanting you, needing you, and thinking about you until it drives me insane.

“The love I had for Carmen died the second I imprinted on you, and I can’t get my head around any of this either. This isn’t a cure... it’s a necessity for the good of our existence, our pack.

“No one will follow an alpha or respect one who shackles a shamed wolf to his side.”