Chapter 19: What Now: Part 1

The Awakening SeriesWords: 9858

I tremble in front of the massive roaring fire in a state of a surreal daydream in the room that Colton left me in when he brought me into his pack house.

A blanket is draped around my shoulders, covering my modesty as he went and got clothes.

I’m tucked into the armchair in the corner, out of the way, while some of his pack pace around in the clearing directly in front of the flames, inwardly thrashing something out.

They’re wired, agitated, the air thick with the stench of testosterone, blood, and fury, and more are returning by the minute to convene here in this house.

The pack is returning from chasing off those vile murderous intruders.

It’s all in their actions and mannerisms, but as I’m not privy to Santo pack linking, I can only watch the animated expressions and occasional outbursts of a word here and there.

They know I’m here, but they’re completely ignoring my presence, much as they have done for years.

It’s not like I care. My head aches, and my emotions are fragile.

I’m barely keeping it together, and I can’t stop replaying the horrific scene in my head of what I saw laid out in front of me in my courtyard.

Vanka’s scent burns my nose even still, and I shudder at every thud they make while pacing around so erratically. I’m unable to wipe that noise from memory.

“Here.” I jump when Colton touches my shoulder, so preoccupied in my mind I didn’t even notice he’d come back. I’m too nervy, coiled tight, and antsy.

He drops a pile of clothes on my lap, a simple gray hoody, a pair of sweats, and a T-shirt that I guess is all his.

“I’ll show you where you can dress in private.” He motions for me to follow, his face softening and his manner following.

I think he can sense how not myself I am right now and reverts to gentle handling.

He waits for me to get up, and I pull the dark-gray covering around myself a little more snugly, before he leads the way out of the room with me close on his heel, cradling my new bundle against me.

My head is stuck in surreality and detached from a whole lot of feelings at this moment.

“Cole? We need you in this!” A voice echoes his way, and he throws the male a silent look, eyes glinting as his wolf connects with his packmate.

There is an exchange of nods, and he turns his attention back to me to hold the door open out into the large, spacious hallway.

“What the fuck is she doing here?” A nasty biting tone is spat our way as Carmen comes marching across from the open doorway in the main hall, which is sitting wide open for returning wolves.

Accusingly, she squares up in front of me, shoving Colton hard on the shoulder as she does so.

It looks like she’s just returned from the hunt, robed in a blanket like mine, and visibly grimy from being out as her wolf self.

Most of the pack have gone straight to their rooms for fresh clothes on entry, but I guess she thinks yelling at us is more important.

Something inside me lets out a tiny murmur of a growl in outrage that she would physically shove him and come at us angrily after the night we have all had.

But I quickly swallow it down and drop my eyes to the floor as she spins on me hatefully, bravado waning fast as I sigh at my impulsive reaction with immediate regret.

“Did you just growl at me, reject?”

Anger swirls warmly in my belly as she pokes some deep internal beast. She bites it at my face, getting close enough to make me flinch.

Snarling, scathing anger makes my body bristle, and for a second, I swear my claws begin to peak involuntarily.

“Leave her alone. Go into the main room. I’ll be there in a minute.” Colton pushes in front of me to make her step back, intent on still guiding me away, but his need to protect takes over.

She doesn’t like it one bit, and the change in her manner is evident. She gets even madder, spinning to face him down instead of me.

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell she’s doing here!” she spits a little more venomously this time, eyes glowing bright amber and throat emitting a snarling, growling undertone in her words.

She’s on the verge of turning, and her wolf is already riled and ready to fight. I shiver, not sure I can take any more violence tonight.

I may have healed, but I’m in no state to have a femme go at it with me over a mate who doesn’t even want me.

“Trying not to die so I can also carry on breathing. Do you mind?” he snaps right back and extends a hand as if to say, “Can we get by?”

He’s ignoring her hostility, exerting his dominance, but even I can tell it’s not the right way to handle Carmen right now.

She’s running on extreme female possessiveness and green-eyed rage. Colton should be soothing her as gently as he is handling me, but he seems oblivious to that fact.

Carmen turns almost feral at his response, hackles rising and her fingernails extending to claws as her anger leaches out of every pore.

She turns, ready to thrash it out with her so-called mate because, quite frankly, he’s being insensitive to what she’s feeling about me being here. If I were her, it would probably be my reaction too.

“Over my dead body, you go anywhere with that mongrel! I forbid it. She shouldn’t even be here!”

She can’t conceal her hatred and jealousy, barking an order that even I know she has no right to make to an alpha, even if he is her mate now.

I sink inside my wrap of an itchy blanket and try not to make eye contact, hoping she runs out of steam. I’m submissive, nervous, beyond exhausted, both mentally and physically, and too tired for this.

Doing anything with Colton is not high on my list of priorities when I just had the worst night of my life. I have more significant problems than teen drama and broken hearts.

“It’s called trust. She’s here for protection, and I’m showing her to a room so she can pull herself together… nothing else. Don’t assume you can tell me what to do, Carmen. That’s not how this works.”

There’s an edge to his tone, but as yet, his dominant vibe is playing cool and humoring her a little. He’s aware he could shut her down with that one tone, but he’s not trying to.

I think it’s dawning on him she’s mad because she’s insecure, and I’m the very good reason to be so. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have the love of your life suddenly start loving another.

“Trust! Don’t make me laugh. Where was that trust when you were inches from marking this little tramp?

“I wouldn’t trust you with her any day of the week. I meant nothing at that moment,” she spits, thrusting words like knives at his face.

“Well, it’s just as well we aren’t dating right now, then, isn’t it? Might be an issue otherwise,” Colton snaps back in an icy tone, surprising me with that little statement.

He shoves her aside aggressively before turning to catch my hand firmly and yanks me with him.

I yelp at the sudden motion and almost drop the clothes I’m holding to my chest, anchoring the blanket in place.

I’m distracted by his warm touch in my cool hand and by the absolute hatred being thrown at me from poisonous glares.

“I swear. You get one shot, Cole. You fuck up a second time, and we won’t ever be mates. I won’t even try to forgive you again. I mean it. Don’t fucking touch her!”

She yells it after us, a stifled sob mixed with bitterness, and I can smell the stench of the betrayal which fuels her.

He bristles slightly but keeps pulling me across the hall without looking back, his mood taking a turn, and I can taste his aggression flaring up.

“Like you have in the first place,” he snarls under his breath, out of her earshot, and I stare at his muscular back and shoulders and try not to react in any way.

I never thought I would ever see the packdom’s dream couple talking to each other like this or for Colton to be so cold toward her.

~“I’m supposed to be fixing things with her and rebuilding trust. Fat chance when she throws it at me every second of every hour of every fucking day.”~

He sounds pissed, and he’s giving me the vibes as I feed on his emotions.

It’s said in the link, and I dart a glance back at the seething bitch watching us go before hurrying to close the gap and pull my hand out of his with irritation.

Something rises from inside me, but I try to ignore it.~ “I’m sorry that I ruined things between you.”~

Even though it hurts me, for the obvious reason, that there is a Carmen, and they’re trying to work it out, I’m sorry I screwed it up for him.

His life was fine before my cursed blood latched onto it and sucked all the goodness right out. I feel like I should apologize for something, anyway.

“Just remember who you chose as your mate, Colton Santo. Remember, you made a choice. A commitment. Remember you chose ME over HER!” she screeches as we reach a door diagonally from the one we came out of.

He throws her a stiff look back. Carmen is full-on shaking with a mix of anger and hysteria, obviously torn about her mate dragging his bond to some secluded room to dress.

I can almost taste her mistrust and panic and can’t help but pick up on her projections of seeing him kissing me that night. She’s completely absorbed in misery.

“Yeah, I made a choice, but that doesn’t seem to register with you, does it? I denied the Fates and stuck with you, yet it doesn’t seem to weigh up much. I’m still dealing with this shit every day.”

Oozing with sarcasm and simmering anger, he opens the door, ushering me inside with a gentle push as he slides a hand behind me, but he stays out there glaring at her in a war of angry snarls.

I duck under his arm and turn to grip the bathroom door handle to shut it, but he still has his hand on the edge up top, holding it open.

I sigh inwardly, wanting to be free of this little battle and not stuck witnessing it.