I wake up face down on the floor in a heap, arm draped awkwardly over my head and limbs splayed out on the hardwood, disoriented, choking on my own blood, and gagging on bile.
Gathering my wits and trying to get my bearings, I struggle to move, dazed for a moment, and then I remember where I am and what heâs doing to me.
Itâs like a rush of water flowing back to a dry riverbed when the dam is broken. That surge of furious self-preservation, instant awareness as the room comes back into focus.
I jump up, heart tearing through my chest with pounding thuds, claws appearing, mind a burning mess of anger.
Iâm ready to take him on in a battle to the death, fueled by something inside me I never knew I possessed.
I feel like my hatred could melt steel with the heat radiating from my fiery depths, and I spin hysterically, ready to demolish my attacker.
My body is in mid-turn at furious speed when I realize he is on the other side of the room and looking at me like I have two heads.
Heâs at least twelve feet away and crouching, panting heavily, as though he, too, is recovering.
âWoah, Woah. Lorey, calm down. I didnât do anything. Stop and breathe. Take a moment before you start again!â He jumps to his feet, aware of my sudden rise.
His palms are up, facing me, flat out, and he is entirely naked, as am I, which only pushes me to heights of venomous hatred.
With my claws fully extended, as are my teeth, my body shudders as it begins to transform around me, ready to fight and maim him until this pain inside my heart ebbs away.
Iâm crushed inside, as though my soul is ripped to shreds and hanging around my organs like unwanted trash on the wind.
Iâve never felt this much aggression or bloodlust, and I have him fully in my sights.
My body is tingling all over, even though I have no memory of what he has put me through, but enough to know what he intended.
âWhat did you do to me? Why would you do that to me?â I scream at him, my voice pitched in raw, raspy hysteria, but he raises his hands higher and pleads with me mentally.
His eyes soften with no attempt to turn as he watches me from a distance.
~âPlease stop and listen. Let me explain. I havenât, and wouldnât, do that to you,â~ he coaxes gently.
~âYou raped me!â~ I mentally scream back at him, not seeing anything around me anymore, just the pulsing beat of the vein in his throat as I home in and know where Iâll be aiming with my takedown bite.
I donât care if it ends us both. Iâll kill him for defiling me, destroying my trust in him, and ravaging my heart and soul this way.
He shakes his head, looking wholly devastated and disheveled, radiating so many emotions my way, but I battle them back, like bouncing tennis balls off a glass wall.
~âNO, I didnât! I never intended to, either. Lorey, please, sit. Iâll stay here, you stay there, and just let me talk. I need you to calm down and listen. Think. Remember.â~
Iâm breathing so heavily that my chest is heaving, and I canât calm down. Especially not when heâs telling me to. He has no right.
He canât be serious with this shit after what he just did. He broke our trust, hurt us, ruined the bond, and nothing will fix that.
My body is on fire, my blood like molten lava in my veins, and I can already tell Iâve turned enough to heal the marks he made on my body because there is no pain and only dried blood.
My complete lack of injury or any niggling physical hurt tells me I already turned, but I donât know how I could if I was unconscious or if thatâs even possible if youâre not lucid.
I shake it away and glare hatefully, focusing all my rage on his face.
I hate him so much I can almost taste it. Iâll never let him touch me again or come near me. Iâll rip his throat out if he tries.
Heâs vile to me now and not who I thought he was. An abuser is an unworthy leader; heâs not worthy as a mate, as an alpha, and not as a lycanthrope.
âWhat did you do? Stop lying.â Itâs a hiss through a sob, a heartbreaking wail of betrayal, a howl from my wounded wolf, and Iâm utterly desolate.
I donât believe what he says he didnât do because I donât know. He said it. He commanded me. I blacked out while he was on top of me, doing things; he had no intention of stopping.
He tried to immobilize me so he could finish the deed.
âI had to make you snap. I told you itâs what I intended. And you didâit worked. Youâre amazing. Your gift, baby, itâs fucking perfect.â
A frown follows a moment of joy as he realizes I am not sharing in his celebrations or relaxing from my stance.
Instead, I stare at him in stunned silence. My brain is having a moment, and I think he might be some kind of sociopath, in denial about what he just did to me⦠or tried to⦠or⦠I donât even know anymore.
âWhat are you talking about? I blacked out! How would I fucking do anything except lie there and succumb?â
After another of my sobbing wails, Coltonâs face completely drops, apparent regret written all over him and the overpowering sense of pain waving my way.
I can feel him telling me this isnât how it seems by using his emotion instead of words. Iâm weakening as adrenaline wanes, but I wonât relent and try hard to brick up my wall once more to keep him out.
âThe human in you zoned out, not the wolf. You lost control, and you turned. You disabled me completely. You threw me across the room with a strength I couldnât match.
âYou came at me. I swear, you had me running around this room just to stop you from tearing me limb from limb.
âComplete direct focus and not taking out the house in the aftermath, so youâre learning to channel itâ¦
âLorey, you had me, and I honestly donât think Iâd still be here if your energy levels hadnât gone down before I did.â
Again with that hint of pride and joy, but my death glare and crouch-to-pounce stance has him rushing the words out, realizing he isnât calming me one ounce, and Iâm ready for a battle or a second one.
I can smell a slight hint of fear coming my way, and it only fuels my desire to make him pay.
âYou pushed all your rage onto my body, and if I werenât half-turned and healing fast, you would have killed me. Do you understand? Blindsided and feral, you would have ended us bothâeasily,â he says.
âYou got in my head in ways I donât think any wolf has ever been capable of, and you commanded me to stay down and stop. I couldnât move. You alpha-toned me.
âYou took my strength, my command, and you turned it around and made it a weapon. Baby, donât you see?
âYouâve barely grazed the surface of what you can do, yet you have so much power and potential already.
âThereâs a sea of something inside you, and your eyes⦠we still need to figure out why theyâre red.
âYouâre not a reject. Youâre not even a regular pack wolf. Youâre special, and now we know for sure we can harness it, nurture it, bring it out so you can control it, and show all of them who you really are.
âThereâs a luna inside you, and the Fates⦠they must know and gave you to me for that reason. My father canât deny you if he can see this kind of power in you.â
Colton moves slightly forward, breathless from talking fast and still wary, his hands remaining up and eyes locked on mine, but the trust is wounded.
I back away, snarling at him, baring my teeth as I slowly flicker from human to wolf again, panting with shallow breaths as my heart pounds faster and rage and fear claw me apart.
Iâm afraid and donât believe anything heâs saying to me, even if logic is tugging from the recess of my mind. He stops, looks utterly hopeless, and drops his eyes to the floor.
âI know how it looks. I had to make you fight back, and I knew that was a surefire way. I had to see. This changes things, Lorey. Donât you understand?
âOur packs are verging on a war where, more than ever, my mate has to be able to stand by my side and fight more intently than us.
âYou can absorb my gifts, which means you can absorb any you come up against, turn them into something more powerful, and use them with control.
âYou were right when you said I made a choice, and I did, but this is how we change it. My father has to see that youâre not a black mark on our people if the Fates gave you a gift like this.
âThereâs hope I can have them accept you into the pack and lay claim to what the Fates ordainedâyou as my mate, as we always should have been.â
The muscle spasm in his jaw, the flicker of his eyes on mine as he begs me to believe has me spiraling.
I shake my head at him, so consumed with mistrust that my mind is a flurry of conflicting emotions, and I back into a corner until I hit the edge of the bed.
It startles me, and I seem to snap out of my intense focus on him and look around for the first time, really seeing the room.
There has been an epic battle in this room. Itâs complete devastation, worse than the carnage at the orphanage.
I gasp as my eyes follow the gouges and claw marks running not just across the floor and walls but the ceilings too.
Furniture is splayed or tipped over, trashed, or balancing precariously. The pictures on the wall are either smashed to the floor or hanging lopsided, some clawed through where they hang.
All the bed sheets are strewn across the floor, most ripped and slashed, and feathers float in the air from pillows that no longer exist. Destruction is everywhere.
I duck down and grab the nearest sheet to wrap around myself, quickly concealing my body.