Are you okay, my dear?â Docâs voice waves at me from what seems like a long distance away, and I realize how, in my head, Iâve drifted into a state of numbness.
Weâre still rumbling along this dark makeshift path carved through the dense forest, and I was so zoned out in my mind I completely faded to dark.
My cheeks are damp with the tears that sprung out of me, and Iâm staring blankly ahead, in a state of disconnect, like everyone I know suddenly died a horrible death again, and I had to watch.
âI canât be one of those⦠those⦠creatures. They killed everyone in the orphanage,â I say in a soft, pitiful whispering tone, and I canât bring myself to look at him.
My head is full of confusion, pain, and questions, and I keep picturing Coltonâs face, his dimpled smile, those deep, dark, sexy eyes, and what he will think when he finds outâ¦
Meadow, the sub-pack. How will they look at me now? Iâm the enemy, and Iâve been among them this whole time.
âAlora. Those beings were not always the bloodthirsty wolf murderers you view them as now. Vampires serve a purpose in the grand scheme of things, and their kind has as much validity as the wolves.
âThere are those among them, much like your kind, who are peaceful and land-loving as some wolves are. They donât even hunt humans and never wanted the battles and wars to happen.
âA feud so ridiculous that history books fail to record it correctly, and no one really knows why the species raged a war against one another in the first place.
âItâs a forgotten cause. You are not a creature, and this does not change who you are inside. You are the same fearless girl sitting before me that you were ten minutes ago.â
I break down and sob, falling forward to cradle my face in my palms and try so desperately to catch my breath, to calm the storm of feelings hitting me hard and twisting me up inside.
It isnât fair, and why do I get to be saddled with every kind of bullshit the Fates can throw at me? What did I do to deserve any of this?
âThey wonât see it that way. Donât you understand?â I sit up, snapping to face him with fresh tears rolling down my face, dripping from my chin as my heart breaks again, soul ripped wide open.
âThe pack canât ever accept me if they know, and Colton⦠Heâll be disgusted with what I am. He fought them. He killed them and survived that war, too. He hates them with an unmatched passion.â
That much was apparent when he ripped the head off the one who had me in its clutches and threw it high over the orphanage wall.
I feel nauseous even trying to conjure up how heâs going to react or even how heâs going to look at me.
I canât bear to pull him into my head and see his face change from that cute boy, cheeky, happy, into something hateful and Deaconlike, seeing me as some crude mash-up of vile parts, disgusted by my existence.
âDear girl, you said the boy imprinted on you. That means you share the purest kind of love there is, so special, and Iâm sure that means heâll accept it as part of who you are, especially if he takes after Sierra.
âIt doesnât define you. You are that same girl. Besides, he has to figure out heâs half witch, and I know from wolf lore thatâs just as bad.
âHe might have to get over that with a little more effort than your news.â He shrugs at that as if to point out that Colton will probably have more significant issues.
I shake my head at him. âWhy me?â Itâs not a question, more like verbal despair, and I sink back against my seat, lifting my head to stare at the ceiling above us and trying so hard to pull myself together.
I sniff back the emotional breakdown to stop crying like a vulnerable idiot.
None of this will help our current situation, and as much as I want to scream and rip that part out of me, I need to put it aside and focus on the now and our bigger issue.
We need protection, and I need to link Colton to get it. Iâm scared about how thatâs going to go, and I donât even know if the link will work or that he hasnât blocked me on his end, too.
I donât even know what to say to him, especially now with this in the forefront of my mind.
âMaybe because youâre important and being part vampire gives you something that adds to the prophecy. Your Fates always have a reason. Isnât that what your kind says?
âMaybe thereâs a reason, and Colton is half witch. Imagine the tribrids to come from your union. Your children will be three strong species combined if your body allows them to come to fruition.
âThatâs simply mind-blowing. I donât think thereâs ever been such a breed.â The tinge of excitement in his voice inevitably pushes that knife heâs stabbing me in the heart with a whole lot deeper.
âThereâs going to be no children and no goddamn union! Colton marked another so that part is over!â I snap, alarmingly hostile.
I sit up poker straight to glare at him as that extra searing pain rips through my chest, reminding me of all the reasons I was mad at that asshole in the first place and why I havenât reached out to him since I left.
Screw you, Colton, you weak-ass daddyâs boy who should have just manned the fuck up and realized this was bigger than us! I was the one, not her. How could you?
I donât mean it, well, almost not fully, but Iâm still devastated that he betrayed our bondâno matter the reason.
Even if it was justified in the grand scheme of things, I donât think I can ever forgive him for wounding me this way and destroying what should have been a perfect union.
âOh, dear. Are you quite sure he maâ?â
âYes, quite sure!â I snap, mimicking his English accent haughtily and cutting him off. Heâs riling a very tender and open wound, and itâs doing nothing for my mood.
âLike I wouldnât know that pain hitting me in the chest and almost killing me that day and what it was.
âHave still not recovered fully and carry that weight constantly like a heavy shroud to remind me Iâll love someone I can never have for eternity?
âI see. So, if he has another, how do you know you canâ¦?â He gestures at his temple, locking eyes on mine, making circular motions, and implying a mind-link.
I roll my eyes. I am exhaling to curb this sudden need to punch things and getting rattier by the second, tension rising, making me stiff and uptight.
âI donât. I have to hope,â I reply, gritting my teeth, my mood getting sensitive with the current topic of conversation.
I know itâs a genuine concern, given that Colton is the key to us getting out of this and surviving. Iâm just scared to try now while everything is so new and raw.
Iâm out here, and all of this has smacked me in the face at once.
Add that to the gaping gash of heartbreak he rubbed salt into, and you have one utterly irate girl who isnât pulling herself together as quickly as her life is unraveling.
âThen maybe you should, you knowâ¦â Again, with the rotating finger at his temple.
I huff loudly in exasperation, willing him to stop pushing and give me some ever-loving, goddamn breathing space for a minute.
This is hard for me. I erupt, breaking under pressureâspectacularly.