Chapter 78: You’re Safe: Part 5

“The sub-pack won’t accept me back when they find out,” I point out as if that was ever in my master plan, but I guess it partly is.

I mean, everything is upside down, and my plan to leave and run just brought me back to where I started, among the people I left behind.

I have no idea what the future holds anymore, especially if the wolves are warring too. The pack seems like my destiny, even if he is not.

“Why not? You think they’ll care? You’re Alora, and I’m Cole to them. They won’t give a shit if we’re half-breeds. That’s not how they are. It’s how my father is.

“And we’re not the only hybrids hidden in the Santo pack. Nor the subs.

“Secrets are rife in my father’s kingdom because he’s an asshole, and it took me way too many years to realize that and see through him.”

He grips the wheel, that growl again in the undertone as his own words touch a nerve, and I can tell the whole father thing is getting to him way more than anything else.

Maybe finding out about his mom was the final straw.

I grasp at that tidbit of information though, shocked, instantly grabbing at the file marked Colton’s memories but knowing I won’t even know what to look for in the nineteen years’ worth of them.

Instead, I start pulling names out of boxes to figure out which subs are also half-breeds.

“Who? What secrets?” I blurt out, overwhelmed by too many scenarios and thoughts.

The downside to having a head full of someone else’s memories is that they are too vast sometimes to know you possess an answer without guiding you to the right visual.

I probably have so many things in my head about him that I haven’t even opened and explored. I never stopped on any conversations about hybrids in the pack.

Colton sighs, tapping the steering wheel as he guides us onward and shrugs like this isn’t news to him. He acts like it’s nothing in the grand scheme of things.

To him, maybe, but I spent my life being told I was an impure reject only to find out the Santos have been interwoven with that all along.

What the hell?

“The twins are hybrids. Angelics, actually. Then there’s Meadow. Her mother was a shifter, not lycan, still a wolf, but different.

“She’s fierce because she’s multi-gifted like you are, and my father made sure no one knew his son was pack-bonded with impure breeds.

“He couldn’t do anything about them, as they are all Santo by blood, and he’ll never shame his bloodline or admit that most of the pack comes from interbred unions.

“There are hundreds of supernatural species, wolves are highly sexed horn dogs, and they will fuck anything,” he says with a callous smirk and a hint of pride at his species being hoes.

Only a man would be proud of that.

“Eww, Colton!” I slap his arm, stinging my fingers as I do, disgusted and a little offended by that last sentence. It’s hardly admirable in a species that also likes to mate for life when they pick the right one.

“It’s true and the biggest secret of all. The haze doesn’t just make us want to bone each other. It’s a free-for-all and has been for centuries.

“I’m pretty sure my father isn’t even a hundred percent lycan.

“He can’t trace his roots any more than anyone else, and the history books are a complete fabrication, with every alpha removing any part they deem shameful.

“They’re bullshit… like him removing prophecies. I would put money on the fact that the Santo wolves, being all shades, are a massive nod to us being a mixed species.

“The original lycans were always brown. Brown with amber eyes. Most of the Santos are gray.”

“Why am I only finding this out now? How long have you known all of this?” I blanch as my head spins, and it’s like I’m relearning the entire history of everything I’ve ever known.

All while he’s over there like Mr. Cool taking it in his stride, barely even a blink that our entire existence is based on horse shit.

Nausea envelops me, and I get a little lightheaded with the number of explosions going off in my brain.

“Not long. The shaman’s with us now and no longer bound to his Alpha Juan because I’m the rightful leader, and he doesn’t have to obey my father anymore.

“He can now unleash all he knows without fear of the Fates punishing him for betrayal. He’s a wealth of knowledge.

“Like what having red eyes in white wolves means, and why you had extra strong powers.” He raises a knowing brow at me, and even that clicks into place.

“You knew?” That statement makes my head spin, and I honestly can’t even with him right now.

My stomach is all in knots, my palms sweaty, and I think my lungs are on the verge of packing in with the fear of his reaction, but he already fucking knew!

I gasp at him, sitting tall and leaning at him in utter disbelief.

“I’ve known for a couple of weeks. It all slotted into place when I found out, and now I know why you found it hard to hone in on your abilities and why they weren’t run-of-the-mill wolf gifts.

“You might say I’ve had time to get used to it.”

I slump back, rubbing my temples with my fingers as everything blurs slightly, and the lack of oxygen from gasping hits me between the eyes. I feel woozy.

“What else did he tell you?” I breathe out, feeling surreal now.

“Nothing that important in our current situation. Just general history of our people and the fact you’re not the first like you. Neither was your mother.

“He knew nothing of my mom’s whereabouts, breed, or my father’s actions before he came to the Santo house seven years ago.

“The shaman previous to him died, and he came to us from my family’s origin in Colombia.

“He never really fell for my father’s bullshit and has always kept his peace and distance from the pack elders and the sub-packs loyal to my father.”

It all explains why, after imprinting, he was the one to intervene in the room, and Colton always said he trusted him.

Now I know why, and it clicks together, another puzzle piece falling into place. Another random tidbit from our combined past that had more meaning than either of us comprehended at the time.

“Everything is crazy, yet all seem to tie together. Even us.” I drop my hands on my lap, still leaning my head against the rest, and suddenly I’m so very exhausted with thinking, feeling, and talking.

Everything is taking its toll, coming to a massive head and draining what little energy I have left inside me.

I’m heavy and weighted down in so many ways, all while his presence is screwing me up, and I want to curl up and shut it all off for a bit.

“I knew. About us… the whole witch thing. Something in me. It wasn’t a surprise when we imprinted. It’s like I always knew, yet somehow my brain didn’t know how.

“Maybe I have her visions, and somehow, when she bound me, I lost their memory. I can’t grasp it, but it’s like all of this was always out of the reach of my fingertips, but I knew it was there.

“When it happened, it was like déjà vu in a sense,” Colton says and casts me an apologetic look.

I get that hint of regret, slowly filtering my way as if he’s lifting the wall between us a bit at a time, yet it’s too late.

A dimple appears with a boyish smile that does nothing to lift my growing black cloud.

I just glare at him, trying to make sense of it but at the same time hating on him all the more with what he just admitted to me. If he knew somehow, why did he let me go? Why did he reject me?

“Then you’re an even bigger idiot,” I snap, emotionally spent, which adds another layer of fatigue to what I can’t handle.

I turn my head and stare out the window, tensing up and bristling with that same pain again and fighting my stupid tears.

I’m getting so fed up with feeling like shit when it comes to him. And he sits and admits that he maybe knew I should have been more important to him all along. Screw him.

It crushes me, and I no longer want to talk and figure any of this out. I want him to leave me alone.

“I learn from my mistakes. I’m here, aren’t I?” I can feel his eyes on me, but I refuse to look, heart struck with a clawing, slicing agony.

“You can’t undo what’s done. Just drop it, okay? Now isn’t the time to talk about us.

“We need to get your mom someplace to wake her up, see what she has to say about all of this, and how we unbind these gifts that are somehow going to do something in this shit storm.”

My voice is low and husky. I sound upset, yet probably tired, and I can feel him eating away at me with his eyes as he tries to read me.

“I can’t believe I ever doubted you wouldn’t be the luna we all needed. I was wrong to doubt you, to doubt us. I am sorry that I wasn’t what you needed.

“I can’t tell you how much I regret everything, baby,” he says, and there is genuine sorrow in his tone, and it’s just another nail in his coffin.

“Don’t, okay? It’s been a long freaking day, and I’m exhausted. I want to close my eyes and think about all of this later.

“I feel like my head will explode, and we’re not even getting the whole picture yet. I’ve been running for so long, and I think my body is finally giving up on me,” I say.

It’s a hint, and I turn fully away from him as I try to get comfy on the worst seats ever invented as we bump along a relatively smooth road.

Colton looks at me for a long pause of seconds and relents, exhaling heavily. He knows defeat when he senses it.

“Try to sleep. The manor is some distance away, and it’s not like I’m about to let you out of my sight anytime soon. We have time to talk.

“I think I also need some headspace to figure some stuff out. I can’t believe my mom is lying behind me. This is all so surreal.” There’s a lightness to what he says, and I blank it.

I curl up against the window fully, not like I needed his permission, but I’m grateful he’ll leave me be.

He still has it in his head that I belong to him, even though he has an actual mate somewhere out there, most likely in this manor, and he needs to remember that.

I’m not his, he’s not mine, and when Sierra wakes up and unbinds me, we need to figure out how to keep our distance and navigate this if we’re all going to get through it.

Colton’s story and mine will head in different directions when Sierra tells us what to do. We both need to accept that and deal with it.