âThey had an affair?â I gasp, my head spinning at that point alone, and I canât help but stare back at Radar and the people before us, seeing him in a whole new light.
Heâs not exactly ugly or unattractive. That scar is major, but he has a nice face despite it and a robust and tall build, like Colton. I guess the white eye makes him a little badass in that rugged, hero-type way.
âNo, you know the laws on adultery with a mate-bonded wolf. Radar is straight down the line, not a rule breaker.
âHe never told her, so she never knew. He never even dared to look her in the face all those years because he was completely submissive in the hierarchy to her.
âItâs forbidden for the guards to look upon the alphaâs mate and make eye contact. The luna had many guards, and he just blended in, I guess.
âHe was the only one of her guards to make it back alive, though, probably because he was so badly wounded and recovering that he was taken down and missed the last battle they ever fought.
âThe lunaâs guards were all massacred in that last fight. Then everyone came home, but she had gone before he recovered enough to regain his duties.â Meadow shrugs, retelling what she knows.
I inhale heavily as pieces click in place, and it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
Juan probably had them all slain because they would have been loyal to their charge, their queen. She was their focus, not Juan, and Radar escaped only down to being almost dead.
This means he missed what happened with my mother and knows nothing of what Juan did. He would be dead, too, if heâd been there, which removes any doubt that he was ever involved.
He didnât even get the chance to save her from being sent away. I think if he had been, he would have died to rescue her all over again.
However, the adultery thing highlights how much Colton doesnât respect or care about me if he expects me to throw aside the laws and have an affair with him anyway.
Heâs an asshole of the highest order if he thinks thatâs a solution to him marking that puta. We all know the shame it carries, and I could be completely exiled from this pack if we went through with it.
His alpha role would dissolve, and he, too, could be dethroned to live in shame. He canât have his cake and eat it too.
I blink in Radarâs direction, trying so hard to get my head around this new information as we sweep into the brightly lit grand foyer of a massive entranceway of this so-called homestead.
Itâs amazing and hugeâprehistoricâand the décor is old-world witch, but I donât doubt it can house a vast amount.
I mean, the manor Colton grew up in was more of a castle and housed hundreds; this is small in comparison, but still a freaking castle in its own right.
The hubbub of the crowded hall and the wave of bodies moving around and up and down the stairs as the word spreads that their long-lost luna is back makes this place feel pretty overwhelming.
However, itâs not enough to distract me from watching Radar follow the group, stopping when they get so far as Colton and Doc wheel Sierraâs bed toward a narrow hall to the left.
âI should go with them,â I say, nodding after them as more of the helpers drop off, leaving a bare minimal body count to turn her bed into a doorway.
Itâs now mainly Colton, the doc, and a couple of femmes who are helping with the cabinet and her machines.
âYeah, you should. Weâre all going back out on patrol of the borders to watch for your tail. We have to keep this place safe.
âTell Colton to link me when he wants me back to take care of you and find you some decent clothes. Iâm sure right now Sierra is his priority.â
She clasps my hand tightly, squeezes it, and leans in to kiss me on the forehead before nodding toward the door that Colton and his skeleton crew went through.
âMeadow⦠Iâm so glad to be back,â I say honestly, an afterthought, as she moves away.
Iâm warmed by the tearful smile she gives me and that little rub of my shoulder to say itâs all going to be okay.
Despite everything, even finding out that I could survive out there alone, I have missed her and being around people.
Being in a warm and safe place, I donât have to hunt for my meals anymore. It reminds me of what a pack can be like. I can do it alone. I just prefer this, not out there.
Being here reinforces it. I donât want to go back out and disappear anymore. Everythingâs different, and I donât want to leave again.
âWe are all happy to see you back. I made a mistake in letting you leave. Colton is still trying to forgive me. Donât do it again.â She laughs but has a serious edge to her tone, and a look hints at an actual warning.
âIâm not planning on it. All of this is bigger than us now. Priorities have changed,â I point out, and she exhales with another nod.
âGood, because heâll strap your ass to him and put guard duty on you twenty-four-seven if he even gets a hint you might take off again. That boy is not playing no more, chica!â
That head wobble and finger point always makes me smile at her, but I âhmmâ and then gesture that I should go.
I donât care right now what Colton thinks or wants. I need to see whatâs going on and then sit.
I only dozed in the truck for a short time, and Iâm physically exhausted and could do with a moment to get used to this buzzing house.
After weeks of nature and solitude, this human chaos is a bit much to get my head around. This whole thing is mentally overwhelming, and sleep is all I want, even though Iâm not going to get it for a while.
I head after Colton and his crew, trace their steps down a hallway, and turn right through the door they went through, which takes me along a short hall, through two double doors into a proper infirmary.
Itâs already like a mini-hospital wing, which is weird given our kindâs ability to heal, so I guess this is from when the witch side of Coltonâs family stayed here.
Itâs white and large, yet crowded with cabinets full of potion bottles on every wall.
Some of it looks dated, but mostly there are modern additions, obviously brought by Coltonâs medics who are hurriedly wading in, helping move Sierra to a central bed more substantial than the one sheâs on.
Wolf packs do have medical staff and doctors. We sometimes need them, especially in younger ages when we have not yet turned and we catch diseases or get injured.
Weâre vulnerable in youth, much like mortals are. Itâs irresponsible for a pack not to have the means to protect all in our group.
They switch her machines to full-size ones, change her tubes, and hang her saline bag on a cart to the side.
Some of the wolves already in here file out, gazing longingly her way and nodding at Colton as they leave.
I know the link between pack members is generally the preferred mode of communication, but it sucks that, to me, itâs a silent wall.
I watch in envy as so much transmits between them, but I hear nothing.
I miss pack linking and the sense of unity it gives you as a whole; it reminds me Iâm never really going to be part of this pack.
Colton could initiate me in now heâs alpha and has that power, and I could maybe link that way, but once his mate gets a whiff Iâm here, I donât doubt World War Three will erupt.
Sheâll never let him put me in the pack to have more of a bond with him.
I donât know where she is, but she has to be around here somewhere. After all, she is his luna now. Mates never stray far apart, and as the luna, her job is to care for the vulnerable in this massive palace.
She probably got left behind here when he came for me because he knew she would aggravate the situation and make things worse. Not that it needs much help.
Doc moves in to talk with a woman in a white coat I recognize from the Santo medical center in the valley.
She has two nurses flanking her as they busily squirrel around, put carts away, and sort out the haywire mess of machines theyâve taken from Sierra, tidying up and making her ready for her stay here.
I stand back to watch as they settle her, and the transition is complete.
Colton pulls a high stool over to the head of her bed and perches beside her, oblivious to me over here, leaning in and softly saying something as he strokes her hair back.
Heâs fully locked on her face as everyone else seems engrossed in the care plan theyâre discussing.
I can hear Doc listing medications and withdrawal key points, step-by-step, what they need to do over the next few hours.
But all my attention is on that solitary, strong, broad figure with his back to me and that longing pulling me to comfort him.
Despite everything going on, we both have so much chaos in our heads and a shared pain from finding out things that turned everything upside down.
Now isnât the time to hold that against him while all this is going on.
Neither of us was prepared or mature enough to deal with the tsunami of shit weâve endured these past weeks, and Iâm weary as itâs all caught up with me.
I donât want to carry the feelings of hurt and hate on top of that, too. Not right now.
We have to figure this out, wait on Sierra to see if she has an answer, and focus on the fact that Deacon and his crew will follow us.
Soon as they wake up and realize whatâs happened, Iâm sure they will notify Juan, and there will be a mad scramble to get here before she can tell everyone the truth.