I gasp, inhaling a deep, almost vicious breath as reality crashes back in on me, shuddering my brain around my head.
Iâm startled awake, back where I began, in the infirmary and gripping onto Coltonâs leg for dear life, so disoriented as my vision returns to normal.
I can hardly breathe for a moment and have to drag air into my lungs while I get my bearings and shake my head to clear my blurry vision.
âWhat the hell?â Itâs an automatic response as I try to catch my breath, and Coltonâs arm around my waist loosens as he lets me go a little.
I guess he was holding me up, and I flop as Iâm released, using my hands on my knees to bend forward and finally pull myself together.
It all starts to fade, and the noises and smells of reality bring me back to clarity.
âThat was a memory. I saw it too.â Coltonâs voice is gravelly, as though heâs just as shaken as me, and I untangle myself from him and stand up.
My body is spiking with unwanted tingles and feelings I canât contain as many things rush through my head.
I guess we somehow mind-linked when all three of us connected, and he got the memory, too, seeing what I saw.
My emotions are all over the place, as though I just experienced something traumatic, and he gets up to follow me around the bed, sensing Iâm not emotionally calm.
âAre you okay?â he asks, sensing my weirdness.
I wrap my arms around myself to shut out the cold, clawing feelings rising to strangle me.
Iâm knocked sideways mentally and just need a moment to claw my mind back together and figure out why my heart is pounding through my chest.
I feel sick and agitated. Itâs more than the memory invading my brain; itâs what Sierraâs words told me.
âAll I remembered before that was being asleep in that room and then waking up in a new place with other kids in the orphanage. There was nothing in between, and now I know why.
âHe must have taken me there, and I forgot it all when I slept. They told me the Munro family was gone, but I never really understood what they meant by that.
âNot until later, when I was told the vampires came. Just a kid, and then they told me my family was dead, and I never stopped to question anything beyond that.â
My voice cracks, and my throat is aching with the effort as it drives home that now I fully understand they were killed because of my motherâs and my gifts.
All of them! My mother, family, the Munros, and the whole pack died because of us and what we are.
The vampires were never the monsters in our midst. We wereâthe wolves and those of us who would slaughter women and children in the name of power.
We created wars to cover our sins and let hatred rage for centuries without learning from our mistakes.
It makes my skin crawl to know the vampires were the innocents in all of this; they were just avenging their lost loves.
They were fighting the Juans of the world for what he had done, and now, Iâm on the side they are, trying to find reason in the death of everyone I cared about.
âShe really is a witch. I mean, I know I heard what the doc said and all of this, but seeing it. Itâs a whole other thing.â Colton pulls me back to him with his voice.
He sounds distant, and his tone is low as he turns his head to her.
That spike of emotion hits me hard in the stomach once more. Tears threaten, and the sudden rage shoots up through my stomach and chest, a pang of anger aimed his way.
I remember her words and what she said, and not for the first time, I feel anger so intense for Colton that I could hate him.
âWhy didnât you just do it when you were supposed to? We could have avoided all this! It would have been done, and we would have remembered. Our gifts would be restored, and weâd have taken another path!
âWhy didnât you just mark me when you had the fucking chance? Youâre an asshole! You could have stopped so much of this bullshit by doing what I needed!â
I sob, the dam breaking and my pain showing, set loose amid the fury as tears hit my cheeks.
I spin away from him, aware the medic in the far corner is trying to pretend she isnât here, and Iâm going to wake Doc up.
I donât want people watching us or hearing us fight. I want them to leave me alone while I go somewhere and cry this out, hate on him, and mourn the path we never took.
Itâs so much hurt that could have been avoided. The Fates didnât separate us to lead me somewhere else.
They were backtracking to fix his wrong decision and circle us back around together to fix this. He just keptâand keeps onâscrewing it up.
âHey? Lorey? What theâ¦?â Colton seems surprised by my reaction, staring at me as I walk off. As I stalk out of the room away from him, he doesnât hesitate and follows me.
Heâs close on my heel as I push through the doors into the middle hallway, where he catches my wrist and tries to tug me back.
I shrug him off, pull my hand away and keep going. My head is bubbling with the facts staring me in the face, my heart twisting with the reminder he destroyed everything between us.
âLeave me alone. You ruined it all!â Iâm crying, broken and tear sodden with the outpour, racking pain in my chest that makes it difficult to breathe as though an elephant is sitting on my ribs.
But he does not relent and sticks to my ass, trying to catch my hands. âBaby, come on. Can we at least talk about this⦠about that? I know I fucked up, but this isnât ruined.
âJust give me the chance to do something about it.â Thereâs panic in his tone, an attempt at gentle and soothing, with a lot of confusion about my change of feelings.
Iâm in no mood for him anymore, and I want to lie down and let all this wash away on a sea of heartbroken tears.
I storm down the hallway to the room Iâll be sleeping in and push the door open, slamming my palm on the wood, swinging it open at top speed so it crashes against the wall behind and exposes the room.
Colton doesnât give up; heâs hot on my heels, relentless in his pursuit, and almost suffocating me with his proximity.
This time he catches my upper arm, grasps tight, yanks me to a stop as I proceed inside, and spins me to him, so I have no choice but to face him.
I tense, my body turning stiff in defense, and my eyes glow red in readiness to battle myself free.
âTalk to me!â He snaps the order at me, but it only riles that inner fierce that hates when he tries to command me to do anything.
âStop it. Let me go. I donât want to talk to you. Itâs pointless, and itâs done. You were an idiot.
âYou broke me, broke us, and now my memory tells me all you had to do was mark me, and it would have changed everything! Why did you have to screw it up? Why did you have to choose her over me?â
I slap at his fingers on my arm and shove at his chest, trying to have him release me.
But Colton is as stubborn as I am and only tightens that grip and stands steady, turning around halfway to push the door closed behind us and conceal us in here.
His face shows hints of anger in that furrowed brow, and one dimple is prominent as a scowl slowly appears, his eyes amber to match my fierce glow.
âOkay, first, marking you would have changed everything, yes, and I regret it. I fucking do, Lorey. More than you will ever know, but we would never have found her.
âYou had to run. I see that now, to find her, and maybe any other way we wouldnât have. My mom would still be hidden because of that choice.
âSecond, how can I fix the damage if you wonât give me a chance to try? I am not the one fighting this, and Iâm not the one refusing to try. You were never the second choice for me.
âI love you, and weâre here together. The problem was, I didnât want anyone else and didnât have ~any~ fucking choice.â His tone is tinged with anger, yet also not.
Heâs mad that Iâm resisting and making this physical, pissed at me for what he thinks is me being overdramatic.
But heâs trying to get through to me and communicate with that subtle hint of control and softness, but it just breaks me even more.
Iâm sagging as tears pour down my face. I keep tugging at his fingers like a spoiled child to be set free, unable to do much more as energy drains from me. Iâm exhausted, and this isnât helping.
âHow can you fix it? You marked her! You betrayed the bond, and youâre linked to another forever. I wonât be your whore, and the memory said markingânot screwing. Let. Me. Go!â
I tug one last time, glaring his way through watery eyes.
He finally releases me with a sharp inhale and stares at me like I have two heads as I jump back out of his reach.
My entire body is racked with the pain Iâve been carrying all this time, my throat aching with finally saying it out loud and how much agony those words inflicted on my soul.
âI did what now?â On the other hand, Colton seems a bit shocked and dumbfounded, and his tone drops a level or two, his hard eyes homed in on mine.
His pulsating temper subdues to a low thrum, and genuine confusion replaces the shock on his face with a deepening of his brows as he narrows his eyes on me, and that dimple disappears again as his mouth straightens out.