Chapter 20: The Attempt

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“Silas used that word too,” I whispered, staring at the glow of Serafina’s eyes. Zach tensed as Dorian pursed his lips. Even Atticus waited for more. “But I don’t understand what it means,” I admitted.

“It means your voice can be used to protect you or as a weapon against others. It can bend others to your will should you choose it,” she explained.

“Silas said it helps control their bloodlust. It gives them power through the song,” I said, glad I was finally getting answers.

Serafina nodded. “True. Which is why the realm won’t ever let vampires have it. Or us.”

“He did have me.” I plucked at my sleeve. When I looked up, Serafina was smiling.

“No, Child. You had him. You are his weakness. He heard your song and now he craves it. That makes him weak and vulnerable. No matter what poison he spouts, it is a lie.”

I smiled at that. The idea of Silas being vulnerable was a nice change of narrative in my mind.

“She is truly a siren, Ms. Trux?” Dorian asked.

She gave him a side nod. “You knew that already, Alpha Dorian.”

I eyed him and he nodded. “I assumed, but you confirming it does solidify things in my mind.”

“What things?” I asked, terrified it would mean he respectfully bowed out of this choosing thing. What if they all did? What if finding out what I was made them all want to leave, and then by choosing them I was locking them into something they didn’t want?

Panic gripped me, and I looked down at my hands again.

“I have craved the sound of your voice, Sweet Siren. Something I have never heard but have not been able to get out of my mind. That is all.” He reassured me, but I still had doubts.

Zachariah was quiet but reached over and put his hand on my thigh. It was enough to settle the panic.

“Your voice is a gift, Kassie. You shouldn’t be afraid of it.” Serafina was convincing, but I needed more.

“Then why are you out here on the edge of the villages? If your voice is a gift, then why are you not in company?”

Serafina gave me a smile that was both patronizing and patient. “Our gift can be dangerous. If we are not in control, it can be lethal. If I use my voice at the wrong time, if I use it with the wrong emotion, if I lose control of it, the wolves are susceptible. I do not want to risk their free will. So I stay out here and only venture in when it is not close to a full moon,” Serafina said, then got up to get a cake from the bench. She put it in front of us and started cutting it up.

Atticus was eating as fast as she was cutting. I now understood how he was such a big guy.

Dorian accepted a piece, but I was pretty sure it was out of politeness. Zachariah refused.

“I haven’t used my voice in years. I have it under control. We can pretend I don’t—”

“You need to use it, Kassie. If you don’t, it will overwhelm you. Especially with the realm magic inside of you. I can teach you if you want?” Serafina offered, standing up.

My eyes went wide. “Right now?”

She nodded. “You wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t already experienced what I was talking about,” she smiled.

I wanted to argue, but my mind went back to the hot tub. I had been insatiable. I had gotten away with just humming to stop me from taking more than I should from the alphas, but what if next time that wasn’t enough? I didn’t want to have this weapon that I couldn’t control.

So I nodded and stood up.

Serafina led us past all her wooden furniture with soft cream colorings and out the back door.

There was a small paddock with a single sheep, a goat, and a flock of chickens.

The alphas go to follow us, but she turns and glares at them. “Alone, alphas. You stop her from concentrating.”

Atticus pouted and went back inside. The other two hesitated. I smiled up at them from down on the ground. “I’ll be okay.”

Dorian nodded once, then went inside.

Zachariah simply pulled the door shut and stood at it, peering through the window.

“That’s the best we’re going to get, isn’t it?” Serafina smiled.

“I think so,” I admitted, an apology in my voice.

“That’s okay, as long as you can concentrate?” She shook out her arms, her bangles clunking again.

I nodded and did the same.

She smiled and looked up, letting out a tiny warm-up melody.

I didn’t copy her.

She looked at me and nodded, prompting me.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I wasn’t sure how to just sing after intentionally not doing it for so long.

I looked around us, eyed the forest, then cleared my throat.

I tried again.

But the sound was scratchy and harsh.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” I admitted.

“You can, Kassie. I knew your family, the Kanes. They had siren blood, the same as the others who lived on the mountain and used its properties to survive. Do you know why it was given to us and our ancestors? Why the realm chose us for the song magic?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“We never took more than we needed. We gave back to the realm when we could. We only survived. That kind of compassion, kind of sacrifice of the life others get to live, is why we were entrusted above them. Your family were good people. You are a good person—that’s how I know you can do this.”

I had never heard that story. Or about my family from the outside perspective. It had tears welling in my eyes. Serafina let out another melody from her lips, her eyes glowing blue.

My eyes widened at the sound. It was so damn beautiful. And powerful. I felt it inside me like I had that first day.

“You have three alphas with you, Kassie. Men are weak to our song; you need to learn control or they will succumb to it.”

That had my eyes snapping to hers. I did not want to be the reason the alphas became weak. Or worse.

“I don’t want that.”

“I know,” she smiled, “So sing, Sweetie. I won’t let you go too far.”

I tried—I opened my throat, I let the hum out that sat there. I went further, whispering out the words to an old tale about the territories. My whispered words joined the hum, a song forming.

But as it did, the swelling tightness in my chest became worse.

The first words that came out at volume had the swelling stopping my breath. My head flashed back to my family, the song I had sung, Silas killing them, torturing me.

My mouth snapped shut and tears streamed down my cheeks.

“I can’t,” I whispered. “And then I ran.”

Zachariah was fast, coming after me, but I shook my head and turned to him.

“No. Please. I just need a minute by myself. I’ll see you back at the palace.” I urged, then took off, hoping he respected me enough to give me what I needed.

I ran back through the forest, panting as I did.

I kicked up dirt and sand as I powered through the villages, then water as I ran across the bridge back to the palace.

I needed space. To be alone. To come to terms with the confirmation of what I was. The power—the monster that Silas wanted me to be.

Maybe it was just a voice, a song, or whatever, but what it could do? Was something I had never wanted. I didn’t want to take people’s choice away. I had been caged for years; I didn’t want to be capable of doing the same to others.

I ran down to the room, my power hyped up in my veins at the idea of being let out. I tried to stomp it down, but it gave me a blistering headache.

I went down the stairs toward Atticus’ room when a song in the air whispered words. I turned in the direction of the song, my eyes landing on the solid door with the lock on it. The one I was not allowed to go in under any circumstance.

The one the power in me was urging me to go into. I couldn’t help it; the melody burst from my lips before I could stop it.

A lyrical string of words left my lips, and the lock clunked in the door.

Atticus was going to be so angry, but I opened the door anyway.

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