Chapter 36: The Decision

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The morning of the full moon was a morning that made me so desperately sad.

My alphas were trying to fix that, keeping me entangled in them and distracted for hours. It was working—to an extent.

I was distracted by the fact that this morning, they were different.

They normally fucked me so well together, in sync, finding a rhythm between us that made it seamless.

But this morning they were not. They were aggressive, almost jealous every time the other touched me.

They were all fighting to have the most time with me, taking me from the other. I felt a bit like a rag doll between them.

Of course, that sentiment was tainted by the fact that my body was overwhelmed with pleasure—but it just wasn’t the same.

I missed the way they would nod to each other, and I knew it meant I was going to get fucked into oblivion. Or have so many orgasms I forgot how to count.

There was no playfulness this morning. It was all about territory and being the one to mark it.

That was how I knew they were thinking about it too—the choice I had to make, where only one of them would be mine.

I still didn’t have an answer.

As the alphas moved away from me and began dressing, packing their things, and placing my things by me to decide what to wear, I curled my legs into me.

Even getting dressed was a statement. Which outfit? Each one represented an alpha.

I slowly stood and looked down at the options.

But I couldn’t choose knowing what it meant.

So I pulled on the dress from Zachariah’s pack, the leather vest over the body from Dorian’s. I pulled on the boots and accessories from Atticus’.

I turned to them, “I haven’t decided anything yet. I don’t know how I am going to say no more tests, okay?” I said to each of them.

They all tensed; Atticus peered over his shoulder with a slight nod before going back to tying his satchel closed.

Zachariah pulled the cowl of his cloak over his head and agreed to nothing.

Dorian planted a kiss on my cheek but said nothing as he placed his things in the pile by the front of the hut.

We had to go back to the clearing where we’d had the blood moon ritual. There, I would make my decision.

We were walking together, all the packs in a march that would take most of the day.

“The vampires?” I asked Dorian as he put more things together.

“They won’t attack again. Not now that they have seen what you can do. Silas will be back at his castle, licking his wounds, preparing for the next plan I’m sure he has.”

That made me shudder. I didn’t want more Silas plans, but I knew he would have one. He was immortal; his patience was unrivaled.

But I couldn’t think about that now—not when I had a decision to make. One I still couldn’t make.

We finished getting ready, then met the rest of the packs at the entrance to the grasslands. We tied our things to some of the horses coming with us. Taylin was on one, proud and grinning.

“Even if you don’t pick my brother, you’ll still come ride the sky tamers with me, right?”

I nodded, grinning. “Of course.”

He smiled at that and then went to the front of the packs. The alphas did too, and I went with them.

We started our march, walking in a tight formation that was surprisingly easy to keep together.

It’s so tense at the front with the alphas. They walk, murmuring if they need to, but I say nothing. We barely speak as the hours pass.

What could I say? Sorry? It didn’t seem like enough. I hated this. I hated that I had to decide at all.

Was it wrong to just want all three of them? Maybe, but I did. With every ounce of magic inside me.

I glanced over my shoulder and smiled. The packs were chattering among themselves like they weren’t from three different territories. They had slept in the same territory last night to leave together today, and there had been no fights.

Taylin said that was a miracle.

The alphas and I had brought them together. Even Dorian’s pack, which was a little scary in their intensity, were laughing and walking with the others.

I didn’t want to break that. And I knew that’s what my decision was going to do.

I chewed my lips as we walked, coming to no conclusion.

At the halfway point, we stopped for a break. The alphas made sure I ate, had a drink, then insisted I be on one of the horses for the rest of the way. I considered arguing, but my feet were sore. I wasn’t a wolf; I didn’t heal.

I climbed up, and Zachariah held the reins, leading the horse and me with the three of them.

We had barely spoken the entire walk, and that didn’t change the rest of the way. My magic started humming louder the closer we got to the clearing, and panic set in.

I was running out of time.

Tears stung my eyes before silently falling. I didn’t want to say goodbye.

“Alphas,” I said quietly.

Dorian turned to me, eyeing my tears before reaching up to wipe one away. “Yes, Sweet Siren?”

“Once the decision is made, I am to go with one of you. Will I still be able to visit the other packs? The two alphas I don’t pick?”

Dorian winced. Atticus looked away, and Zachariah tensed, hesitating in his next step.

None of them answered straight away, and it had anxiety turning in my stomach, dampening my palms.

“If I am not to be yours, Sweet Siren, I will find it difficult to be around you without disrespecting your chosen alpha,” Dorian admitted finally.

The other two stayed silent, so I had my answer.

No. I could only pick one, and that would be the end of whatever I had with the other two.

The idea of that finality had more tears falling.

I wiped away my silent tears as we kept walking, but more fell in their place.

I loved all of them. Each one of them in their own way.

Dorian was so caring and passionate. The devotion he had to being everything I needed him to be—I knew I would be happy with him in his treehouse, time for myself, training with him. His pack was open to me now, and going into the villages, interacting with humans like I couldn’t in the other territories was something I craved.

I could see me there, cooking with Dorian as he tried to teach me his expertise, and when I failed, he wouldn’t punish me. He’d get creative, putting me on the bench and making me the meal as the sun set through the glass windows. It was a dream I wanted to make a reality.

Atticus, with all his brawn, had so much heart. He would have me laughing all day with him, playing music in his room. I would be his naked drink server and then the vessel he drank from. He would tease me at night, worshiping me in the waves; then, during the day, he would adorn me with his favorite jewelry pieces, teach me to fish with the pack, and have tea with his mother. Our voices together would carry on the wind, true siren magic keeping us wrapped in a bliss I craved.

I turned to look at the cowl of Zachariah’s cloak. He wasn’t a mystery to me anymore. He was intense when he cared about something, but beneath all that, he wanted peace as much as I did. He wanted to lie in the furs with me, breathing in the fire pit herbs, living on clouds. We’d lie in the meadows filled with wildflowers. He’d kiss me there, keep me smiling well into the night. I’d fly with Taylin and keep him grounded. Zachariah’s home would be mine, and we’d farm crops during the day, hide in the maize field; then, at night, he would take me into another world full of relaxing ecstasy.

How could I choose between those things? They were all perfect. There was no dream I wanted more than all three of them.

I sniffled and clenched my eyes shut, tilting my face to the sky. Three alphas to choose from. Most of the pack females would be desperate for the chance. But they would know their choice.

I was stuck between them with no idea what to do.

And I stayed stuck until we tied all the horses to the trees and walked into the clearing right at nightfall.

As soon as we migrated onto the soft grass, Vivian appeared by the stones the alphas had claimed me at.

It made my head ache with pressure because it meant I was out of time.

But as the packs hung back and the alphas led me forward to Vivian, I knew there was only one answer that could ever leave my lips.

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