You make me
feel like I'm out of
my mind. But it's alright,
It's alright.
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Chimdi barged into the room, the door shutting at her wake with a loud bang, causing Nene, the only roommate present to look up from whatever she was reading.
"I know your money is in excess, but Bazooka won't hesitate to bundle you to Dr Addy if you break her door." The melanin bombshell said nonchalantly, eyes back to the book on her hand.
Chimdi made her way to her bed, plopping down on it, flinging her flip flops in the process.
"Sometimes, I feel like running a bullet through her empty skull. She's so annoying urrgh!"
Nene raised an amused brow. "Damn B! I'm beginning to rub off on you." She shut close the book. "I'm glad we have a mutual understanding with anger.
She gave Chimdi a lopsided smile. "Fuck chakra shits. Tell me, who set you off?"
Chimdi respired to calm down, cuddling one of her fluffy pillows. A slow smile forming on her lips. "I've got a long list." She got a glimpse of what the melanin was reading. "Why men marry bitches ? You for real?"
The darker girl shrugged. "Nonye kinda slipped it into my stuffs when she really needs it."
"You thinking of marriage already?"
"Hell no!" Nene's face morphed into a panicked one. "I'm not done thinking about money B."
She gave the book a once over. "The book isn't for marriage alone though. But the relationship tips, I'm totally digging."
Sighing in exasperation, Chimdi leaned back on the screeded wall. "Elo is so dead."
"Nah, nah. Elo is not a problematic beau and you know it. I'm saving this for the future. What ?" She asked when she saw the look Chimdi was giving her. "I'm not going to be tied down to El forever."
Chimdi winced. Sorry El.
"It's for the future," she continued, giving Chimdi a wink. "Gotta be that babe in total control."
She set aside the book again, straightening her folded legs which stretched out of a blue kappa short and large monster themed shirt, stolen from her boyfriend.
"So, tell me. Who set you off?"
Chimdi cuddled close the fluffy pillow. "Quite a long list." She teased.
"Start from the most threatening. You know I'll haul an ass to Mozambique for you."
That had them cracking up in fit of laughter.
"Everyone is talking Nens," she began after they sobered up. "It's making me go crazy. To think they're still taking Ella's side, like two years wasn't enough to carry out her undeserving revenge."
The darker girl shrugged. "So let them talk."
Chimdi shook her head in disagreement. "Holding in isn't that easy. I thought that maybe all these years, she'd get an eye opener and address the issue." She paused, thinking about old times. "Sometimes I miss her."
The darker girl hissed, patting the tiger skinned bonnet, holding her hairs together. "Ella can go hug a transformer for all I care. I never liked her though, she was always trying to make you pick sides. I'd say she deserves everything."
Gasping, Chimdi glared at her. "Jeez Nene!!"
"What? She lost a great friend and almost ruined her life for a nincompoop who didn't have her best interest at heart. Tell me, isn't that abundance of stupidity at its peak?"
"You can't blame her Nens. What's that saying about no one one stopping a girl in love?"
The melanin bombshell snorted. "There should be one about slapping loads of sense into them." Her gaze was fixed on Chimdi. "Look Dee, it's a sure bet, they'll all talk. They've always, you've been in the industry and you know how much vitamin they get from saying what never earns them shit, just let them talk. And that stupid Ella, she doesn't even want to clear the air," she gritted her teeth in annoyance. "She was just looking for who to blame for that ass-wipe's infidelity!"
This time, Chimdi wasn't ready to scold her.
Sensing that the skinny girl wasn't ready to brighten up, Nene had a big smile gracing her face.
Confused, Chimdi raised a brow at her rare display of bliss.
"You know how we can make them stop?"
Chimdi shook her no.
"I've been busy for a while, you know GG and Antni aren't the only ones who love you." She teased. "I'm tryna get your lazy ass friends to help me with online giveaways. Ella came home with one, but you, you're going to come home with nothing less than what she got. Nothing less, got it?"
Chimdi nodded, she could feel the threatening tears and the grateful smile on her lips. While thinking that she didn't deserve the best people in the world as friends, especially when she kept so much from them.
"Awwwn Nens. You're gold!"
The darker girl flipped an imaginary hair aside, "I know right, what would you do without me?"
Chimdi feigned thinking for a second, before grinning. "Actually, a lot."
"Fowl!"
Chimdi looked around the other bed filled with throw pillows and teddie bears, empty.
"Where's Larabear?"
Nene shrugged, this time flipping through the pages of the book in her hand. "She snuck out on me with some book" She checked her cellphone. "She'll be doing the evening walk of shame soon. Chill."
Chimdi nodded, walked to her cupboard and pulled out an untouched cereal box and a packet of powdered milk. She picked up a ceramic bowl, spoon and a water bottle before heading to her bed.
After preparing the quick meal and it was ready to go. She turned to her roommate.
"You care?"
Nene shook her head, eyes still on the pink and white themed book in her hands. "Nah, I had quality food." She smirked when Chimdi rolled her eyes. "So thanks. I don't want to ruin my taste buds."
Chimdi snorted, resuming with having her less than appealing breakfast. Incident of few minutes ago, had created a knot in her stomach, filling it with nerves. Her appetite had flown out of the window. And though the milk and cereal tasted like sawdust in her mouth, she still ate it because she had to -- she needed to stay healthy for the award. And her mother had personally warned her to avoid disappointing her.
She snorted. Isn't she just a ray of sunshine.
Now she cared about a healthy meal when she wasn't meant to.
Her phone dinged to a text, snapping her out of her depressing thoughts. She shoved the scooped up cereal in her spoon into her mouth before reaching for her cellphone.
Her heartbeat sped up at the name flashing at the notification bar.
TJ
1m.
Are you really going to keep on leaving me on read?
That was his first text for the day.
She felt guilty for ignoring him. She'd tried to fill her mind with constructed lies -- with doubt which she thought were true. But why wouldn't she, when he was moving on too fast, and it had been a weak moment.
She suddenly didn't feel the urge to house any edible inside her stomach. Her hands held tight the cellphone, as she went through previous chats.
Hey sunshine!
Then another;
I've been trying your line. Remember, we still haven't covered maths.
She scrolled further, skipping through a lot of unreplied texts.
Are you really gonna intentionally ignore my calls and texts? Fine!
A few minutes later, he'd sent;
No, not fine. But damnit! Say something will you?
She continued, he never gave up, never ceased to text or call. It was unbearable. Guilt ripped at her heart. She wondered why everything he did mattered to her, why it had to be him who saw her delicate side. The fresh wounds she'd aided and banded, out of everyone's sight. Her emotions always betrayed her in his presence.
The few days she'd been away from him were throwing back the answers she sought. His worried state, his sulky state, whenever he was in her presence and blatantly ignored, the answers stared back -- he really did care. But why did it feel like the answers weren't good enough.
Another text dinged, snapping her to sane land.
And she read this one too without replying. C'mon, tell me what I did and I promise to apologise immediately.
The text caged her in it's guilt trap, it didn't help that she wanted to reply -- badly. But the words weren't there. Her fingers hovered over the red themed keypad of her cellphone, brain fishing for the right words to type back.
"Hey Dee," Nene halted her and she couldn't help but sigh out in relief at the interruption.
She looked up at her roommate, raising an inquiring brow at the melanin bombshell.
"You okay?" Nene asked, narrowing her eyes at the skinny girl.
Chimdi nodded, carefully dropping her cellphone on the bed after clicking on the home button.
"Yeah, wassup?"
"I actually came across a relationship principle that relates so much to Nonye's situation." Nene began, her fingers between the light brown pages of the book in her hand.
"Ever since she moved in with that freeloader, she's been acting strange. I mean, I thought boyfriend's are meant to make their girlfriend's feel love. But the douchebag wants to ruin my sister!" Nene's eyes were sad, lips quivering, a good indication that she was at the brink of lashing out.
Chimdi kept shut, she knew the darker girl wanted to vent out her frustration. The situation her sister was facing was appalling enough to cause such reaction.
"I asked if she'd like to hangout since Dad said no village this December. Guess what she fucking said? That Felix wouldn't let her! That guy that is feeding off on her pocket money, living in her apartment and yet, he decides everything." The melanin bombshell laughed, real sarcasm dripping.
"She doesn't even wear bumshorts again, because fucking Felix said it doesn't suit her. I feel like plucking out his eyes off it's sockets and giving it a painful poke since they're of no use! He's trying to ruin her, she didn't only give up her personal space for that scum but also her feeling of Independence. Ain't nothing truer. Look," she turned the book to Chimdi, who squinted her eyes to make out the words on the page. "Relationship principle 61 fucking said it all."
She went silent, her face hidden between her palms. Chimdi knew she was trying hard not to breakdown, knew how much she adored her big sister-- who by the way, looked like a damn queen. It was a shame she was letting toxicity ruin her.
And when the darker girl raised her head, her eyes were wide open -- burning dry. She didn't shed a single teardrop.
She rolled her eyes, trying to seem alright, but Chimdi knew better. She'd mastered the art of masking emotions.
"Some say boys are stupid," Nene said, dropping the book. "But I think girls are more stupid. Because they let stupid boys walk over them. Just look at Ella, then my sister dearest. Thinking about them makes me feel ashamed of being female!"
"Don't say such words babe!" Chimdi glared at her.
"It's the height of all I can take Dee. She cries over him and she won't call it quits with him cos she thinks she's in love. I just wish I could tell Mum or Dad," Nene sighed, bittered.
"But I'd already sworn not to let them know she's dating that scum."
Chimdi chose her words carefully. "People make mistakes Nens, everyone of us. But most times it takes a really long time to know that some decisions we make are mistakes. She's going to get an awakening soon."
The darker girl snorted, waving her off. "Yeah, I hope she doesn't die why she sleep walks around in that poor excuse of a relationship."
Her face brightened in seconds and after she picked up the discarded book, Chimdi knew the conversation was over.
"Speaking of boys, I've been trying to solve world's most sort out questions." Nene pierced through her thoughts again.
"The chicken or egg shit?" Chimdi asked, looking up.
"No idiot! It got sorted out over a decade ago."
Chimdi rolled her eyes, chastising herself for actually replying the darker girl.
"Who are you taking to the ANTT award?" Nene was agog with anticipation.
Chimdi laid on her back, eyes focused on the white ceiling with non-existent cobwebs and marker scribblings. "I think it's best if I go alone."
"Have you gone bat shit nuts?"
"Nope, I'm perfectly sound Nens. I don't have strength for another drama this year."
A throw pillow landed on her head. "Ouch !" She glared at the darker girl. "What the hell was that for?"
"For being a fowl!" Nene snapped. "Aren't you thinking of taking TJ?"
Chimdi groaned internally. Does he have to be everywhere, even when absent?
"Why should I?" The skinny girl asked with attempted nonchalance.
"Duurh! Because you two are totally whipped that I feel like gagging whenever I see you two."
Chimdi tried to act calm. While the darker girl continued. "By the way, wassup with you two? You two are acting like exes who are very much into each other but still try to stay away."
"Stop trying to play relationship shrink babe. We are very much not into each other."
"Oh please!" Nene snapped. "You've ran from this topic quite enough. Tell me, why do you keep running away from the truth when you know he means a lot to you?"
The skinny girl choked on her own spittle. The melanin bombshell was right.
He mattered. He mattered so much, it scared her shitless. He was the only person who'd succeeded in infiltrating her heart. She knew trying to run away from the brewed up feelings was an epic pretence to satisfy the doubt gnawing at her mind.
"You've not answered my question Dee," the melanin insisted when she heard nothing from her.
"Look Nens, this isn't something I want to discuss. Not today,"
The darker girl was about to throw words at her, when her cellphone dinged to a message.
Thinking it was TJ, she tried to swipe off the notification, before seeing the content.
She cursed, scrambling off the bed.
"Shit, I'm dead!"
"What happened?" Nene asked when her roommate began rummaging her box.
"It's Antni, shit! shit!! I have a photoshoot and cloth-fitting in the next one hour babes, and the driver is on his way."
"Oh shit! You're so getting a mouthful!!" Nene stood up, joining her to sort through the heaps of clothes on her bed.
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