Chapter 11: Chapter 10 ~ I'm not angry

I screamed out in complete horror as they forced me down unto the forest floor. My legs flared wildly as my arms tried to push their filthy hands away from me. Tears streamed down my face as I screamed my lungs out, crying out for help, for Zion, anyone at this point.

“What are you doing!? I’m your Luna!” I cried, sobs racking my body as I felt their hands probing around my body.

A wheeze escaped my lips as a fist landed in my stomach. I curled into myself as I whimpered in pain. A dirty boot came pounding into my side, causing a pained scream to rip pass my lips. I felt a slap hit the side of my head and splitting my upper lip.

I coughed and wheezed in pain, spitting out the blood that welled up in my mouth.

“You don’t deserve to be our Luna!” One of them hissed.

“Fight back you pathetic bitch! You’re weak!” the other chimed in, punching me in my stomach once more.

“Zion!”

“Zion!”

“Zion!”

No matter how hard I screamed his name, he didn’t appear. He was nowhere in sight or nowhere to help me, to save me from his pack.

My wolf surfaced in the front of my mind and growled out in pain. The growl made it pass my lips and caused the boys to pause for a second.

My wolf had lost all control under her anger. She wasn’t angry at them though, she was angry at herself. She placed us in this position because of her cowardice. She came forward, wanting to know if I was okay because she felt at fault for our weakness. As a result, she relinquished complete control of herself and broke the barrier between us.

Something snapped inside of me.

The urge started out as just a little itch and then thrummed into blazing hot lava that ran throughout the veins all over my body. It was our anger and frustration boiling over.

A frustrated scream tore its way pass my lips, echoing throughout the forest like a song cascaded by the wind.

The men had stopped to watch me with curious eyes as they must have realized that I wasn’t moving anymore.

I snapped my blazing eyes to the guy leaning over into my face and snapped my hands up and around his neck. I quickly threw him a few feet away from me. This sudden strength in me given by my wolf brimmed as I quickly kicked the one closest to us in his private area, causing him to curse loudly and stumble away.

The other three came at me with full force. With my wolf’s constant fear out of the way, I dived out of the way of the attack, causing the three boys to almost collide with each other. I quickly went to the first one I could get my hands on and grabbed a hold of his leg, twisting it harshly as the sound of bones grinding and breaking filled the air. The boy screamed out in pain, his foot now twisted in an awkward angle as he dragged himself away from me.

The other three quickly got up and started advancing on me, their eyes now glowing a bright gold.

“Enough,” the voice that spoke sent a wave of relief crashing through me.

The wolves looked over at Zion, who appeared from behind a few trees. He took a look at the scene with a blank expression on his face before nodding his head at the two wolves left standing.

“Good job. Take your friends and get them to a doctor. You have your Alpha’s approval.”

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as me and my wolf processed his words.

The boys nodded gratefully and bowed slightly in submission, “Thank you Alpha,” they chimed.

They left me and Zion alone, dragging their injured friend behind them.

I could feel my heart rate slowing down a bit and breaking ever so slightly.

I watched Zion with a betrayed expression on my face as I finally realized what happened.

My wolf whimpered.

“You were here the whole time.” I whispered, the question coming out as a statement.

“Yes.”

“You told them to do this?”

“Yes.”

“I screamed for you.”

“You did.”

“You didn’t come.”

“I didn’t.”

Tears spilled down my face as all the adrenaline released itself from my body and the pain came throbbing its way back all over again.

“Are you angry?” Zion asked, his voice holding slight anticipation.

“Do you want me to be?” I asked, looking up at him through blurry eyes.

Zion nodded, “Yes. You can use that anger to help you fight, to help you become stronger. I wanted to see if your wolf would let you die and she didn’t.”

A strained chuckle slipped pass my lips as I shook my head and wiped at my tears. What did I expect?

“I’m not angry,” Zion narrowed his eyes at my words, my voice cracked slightly, “I’m hurt, I feel betrayed, I feel powerless... because of my father... because of you... I’m used to the pain Zion so no matter how many times you hurt me or kick me down, I won’t get angry. I’ll just be sad because my mate is the one doing this to me. The person who’s supposed to love me unconditionally is hurting me and I can’t leave him so what’s the point if I get angry? What will that solve? At the end of the day, I’ll still be your mate and I’ll still be forced to love you eventually. So no, I’m not angry. I’m just depressed that this is the life that the goddess assigned to me. To be with a man that wasn’t even destined to be mine.”

Zion stepped forward and caused me to take a step backwards. His eyes became conflicted.

I shook my head as the tears streamed down my face.

“The only thing I seem to be doing these days is crying. Because of you, my father, and everyone around me. You ever think to ask me how my life was before I was sold to you? What I had to endure? Why I’m this cowardly? Did you ever stop to wonder if this could be solved without the use of violence? How can I get stronger emotionally when all I get from you are insults? I know what I am and I don’t need you to constantly point it out. I need you to help me fix it because I can’t do it on my own. I need someone and not just anyone Zion. I need you. My mate.” I pointed a shaky hand at Zion and narrowed my eyes, “But it’s clear to me that you don’t feel the same. There’s obviously a reason why you chose me despite the many options you had but right now, I don’t even care what it was. I need space, Zion so leave me alone.” then I walked off into the forest alone.

My body was numb. I couldn’t feel the pain anymore. I willed myself not to feel the pain. I wandered the forest aimlessly, my thoughts scrambled all over the place. I wanted to bring my wolf out to run but my wolf refused the invitation. Instead she retreated into the back of my mind, completely silent.

That night I wrote.

~Dear Diary,

I’m back again with another tearful paragraph of the nightmare known as my life. Today, I was beaten bloody. I called for my mate but he never came so I had to defend myself. I did it though. That’s the one thing that I’m proud of. I successfully defended myself from those men and although I know it was a test, I’m not even angry at the men for hurting me or playing with my emotions. I’m not angry at all. Even after finding out that Zion was the one who orchestrated the entire thing. This is my life now. I had to get used to it. No matter how broken I am at the end of the day, no matter how hurt I feel, I have a duty as this pack’s leader... so I’ll accept the abuse. However, after today I realized that remaining silent was not going to help my case so despite my fear, my voice will be heard. In this world, there’s only me and my wolf. No one else. I can’t keep depending on people to solve my problems for me. I have to do it on my own.

Starr~

Zion kept his hands to himself that night and I was extremely grateful.