Nani arrived exactly at five-fifty the following morning. She stands outside the house for a minute with her luggage that the auto driver unloads. She pays him off and she stares at the house in silence. She likes coming here, quite a lot. For a second, she closes her eyes. This the home of her youngest daughter. Nani is proud of Seema the way she isn't of the rest of her children. While she loves her elder son and elder daughter equally, she's always had a soft corner for her youngest. She's proud of Seema not only because she's a thriving doctor but also the woman she's become after adversity struck her. It had been difficult to watch her youngest suffer so much at the hands of the man she loved. Nani prays, her eyes still closed trying to remove the haunting image of her wide-eyed, dazed daughter from eleven years ago.
A couple of minutes later, she rings the doorbell. Nani, though rather old is still able to hear the lazy pounding of her grand-daughter.
Slowly, Shweta trundles downstairs, looking drowsy. "Namaste, Nani." She says, her palms pressed against the other.
"Namaste, Shweta. Look how much you've grown! You're looking prettier every time I see you!" Nani smiles fondly at her grand-daughter.
Shweta is struck by the stark contrast between her Dadi and her Nani.
"Oh, I've missed you, Nani!" She says, hugging her maternal grandmother. She's also delighted that her grandmother has arrived early. This means that Shruti will be too distracted to drag her out for a morning run.
In the meantime, Seema and Shruti arrive. Both of them look sleepy but very happy.
"Oh, Nani! How are you?" Shruti says, hurrying to touch her grandmother's feet.
"I'm fine. But look at you! You look wonderful." She says, beaming. Seema lets her children hug their grandmother, her heart warming at the sight.
"How have you been, maa?" Seema asks after a bit.
"Oh, just the same." Her mother says, her eyes twinkling. "You tell me? How is everything going, Seema?"
"It's wonderful. Now that you're here, even more so." Seema says, smiling at her mother.
"Oh, don't flatter me," Nani says laughing.
"Do come inside and sit down. If you let the children, they'll hang onto you like monkeys." Seems says, looking at her daughters still hugging their grandmother.
"The monkeys have grown up," Nani says, looking fondly at her granddaughters.
"They certainly have," Seema says, as she tugs one of her mother's suitcases.
Shruti helps her mother carry the luggage and they all head towards the living room.
"Ah, isn't it good to be here with all of you!" Nani exclaims as she sits on the plush leather sofa in the living room. Shweta curls up on the other round one whereas Shruti and Seema sit on either side of Nani.
"It's good to see you here too, maa," Seema says, smiling fondly at her mother.
"So, tell me! What have you girls been up to?" Nani asks, smiling at the three of them. Seema though now a woman of forty-seven would still always been her 'little girl'.
"Oh, I've been in college. It's so much fun!" Shruti exclaims, forgetting for a minute about her mother's disapproval just the previous Sunday.
"I'm glad to hear that! What about you, little one?" She asks, smiling with her crooked teeth at Shweta.
"Oh, just school. It's not that fun but I have my friends." Shweta lies. The word fun causes an unfamiliar throb in her heart. The rest of the school year wouldn't be very fun.
"Good to know, good to know! Do you remember how both these girls had cried on one occasion when I came here? They both refused to go to school." Nani asks, laughing.
"Oh, yes! It was such a nuisance for me to convince them both that you wouldn't disappear once they came back from school." Seema says, but the words said lightly have the opposite effect. It hangs heavily in the air and Shruti can feel warm tears forming in her eyes. The heaviness of a secret that twenty-year-old shoulders are not made to carry making her feel utterly exhausted even after a long night's rest.
Nani doesn't say a word but she notices the tension. The girls had always shared a warm relationship with their mother but now it seemed so brittle, so forced. It was almost as though they were uncomfortable to be in the same room as their mother. Seema too seemed very uneasy about speaking to the girls. Nani clucks her tongue and then in an attempt to change the topic says, "Well, I'll be cooking you all Shahi Paneer for dinner! I know how much you girls love it."
"That would be lovely! We've all been dying for some good Shahi Paneer." Shruti says.
"It's true," Seema admits with a smile.
"Haven't you been cooking much?" Nani asks Seema.
"No, not really. I come back home so very late. The girls do most of the cooking. Except on Sundays." Seema says, feeling a bit guilty. Though it had been years and her daughters were both technically adults, she still felt guilty about lapsing on what was considered by society 'the motherly duties'. It was still, after all these years, difficult to find the balance between her profession and motherhood.
"I'm sure the girls don't mind helping out," Nani says, placing a warm hand over her daughter's.
"Of course not. We understand she's busy." Shruti says, diplomatically whereas at the same time Shweta says, "Oh, not at all. I love cooking!"
"Well, if that's the case, you'd have to let me taste some of your dishes," Nani says.
"Of course! The only ardent critique I've had so far is Dadi. But then again, she's got a problem about everything!" Shweta says, chuckling.
All of them burst out laughing at Shweta's forthright words.
"Don't you have to go to school, Shweta?" Shruti asks, her senses kicking in after a while.
"There are only thirty minutes left for you to get ready." She exclaims.
"Oh my god," Shweta says, looking at the wall clock shaped like an elephant. And in her hurry, she tramples over Shruti's feet who gives a squeak of protest.
She throws on her school uniform hurriedly and spends the next fifteen minutes trying to decide how best to frame her face with her short hair. Having never been excessively girly; the entire procedure confuses her more than it eases her. It's only when Shruti walks in to find her with her hair bunched up on the top in a desperate attempt to emulate a five-minute tutorial that she throws her hands up in the air.
"Why on Earth is your hair looking like you're trying to go to a cosplay?" She asks, raising an eyebrow and surveying Shweta's disastrous attempt at styling her hair. "And aren't you getting late for school?"
"There are no classes today. It's the inter-school basketball tournament." She grumbles, pulling her hair down.
"Oh, yes I remember. But did they ask you to be the school mascot?" Shruti says, helping Shweta take the bobby pins out of her hair.
"I just wanted to look good, okay!" She says, exasperatedly.
"Got your eyes on someone on the team?" Shruti asks and then the realization dawns upon her and she gets a glint in her eyes. "Oh, your little boyfriend is on the team now, is he?"
"Whatever," Shweta says, rolling her eyes but a small grin makes its way to her face.
"Let me help you," Shruti says, taking the armful of hair accessories that Shweta seemed to have managed to scrounge up. Bobby pin in mouth, she speaks through gritted teeth, "Why isn't Riddhi helping you out, anyway?"
Shweta pretends not to hear her, not wanting to have to delve into the entire fight she had with Riddhi. This was the biggest fight that they had had in all of their friendship and Shweta felt guilty about it. Partly because she knew it was mostly her fault and partly because she was having a hard time accepting the fact. Shruti would tell Shweta very bluntly that it was her fault and that was something that she didn't want to hear. She would sort all of this out once she managed to clear whatever she had with Vaibhav
Unluckily for her, Shruti is not one to let go. This time though, she genuinely thinks that Shweta hasn't heard her and asks her again, loud enough that the latter cannot pretend to have not heard it.
"I said, why is Riddhi not helping you out? And besides, I thought she would've been ridiculously happy, he's her cousin, right?" Shruti says and then looking at Shweta's hair in the mirror, she adds a triumphant, "Here, you go. Much better!"
"Yeah, she's going to be reaching school early. She's got some business to attend to considering she's the school prefect and all." Shweta lies.
Shruti seems to buy it or at least she pretends to.
"I'll come along with you." Shruti says, looking at Shweta and the latter opens her mouth in horror and then to protest, "Why do you want to? There's no need for you to and it's just embarrassing!"
Shruti holds a hand up to silence her sister and adds, "Geez, I don't want to tag along on your lame pre-pubescent date. I've got my own business at the school."
"What business could you possibly have left? You graduated four years ago, remember?" Shweta asks suspiciously.
"What business I have is none of your business. And besides, the school is going to be delighted to see an ex-student visit them." Shruti says.
"The world doesn't revolve around you," Shweta says with a mock sigh and Shruti rolls her eyes.
"I'm thinking pale blue. Or do you think I should go for peach?" She asks, walking over to her closet and opening the door. Standing in front of her clothes, she eyes them critically.
"Pale blue. But you could just as easily wear one of your easy t-shirts. If I didn't know any better then I'd say you're having an affair with one of the teachers. But they're all so old." Shweta says, walking to stand next to her. "Besides, could you hurry up? I have an actual date, you know."
"God, it's so adorable to see you all excited and I would honestly participate in it if I didn't know any better," Shruti says, shutting the door before pulling along a pair of pants to go with it.
"What do you mean?" Shweta asks.
"Just that maa might be right about the whole love thing," Shruti says and Shweta looks at her uncomfortably. The last thing she needed before her first date was a lecture on the Big Bad World and Why Love Didn't Survive.
"I think it's better if we find it out on our own than just following whatever she says," Shweta says obstinately.
Shruti gives her an approving look as she walks to the closet again and grabs her eyeliner. Pushing Shweta away from the mirror, she begins to draw a line on her eyelid very carefully.
"Well said. Maybe you have some spine after all." Shruti jokes.
"No, I mean it," Shweta says and tries to frame what she has to say next very carefully. "Don't you think it would be nice if maa actually found someone?"
"Found someone?" Shruti echoes, a shadow coming over her eyes. But in true Shruti fashion, she jokes, "I really don't think maa is going to like Tinder."
"That's not I mean," Shweta says seriously and Shruti looks at her.
"You really think it would be a good idea if she got somebody else?" She asks, and Shweta is a little afraid of her answer. "Well, yes." She replies.
"I think it would be a good idea too," Shruti says matter-of-factly, before turning to the mirror again to focus on the wings of her eyeliner. "But this is maa we're talking about. She comes from a different school of thought and I don't dare disturb it."
"Neither do I." Shweta agrees. "But it would maybe change her perspective on it, you know? And maybe make her a bit more mellow towards us."
"You don't realize," Shruti says after a while as she turns to look at Shweta. "How much of an emotional investment she had with our father."
"I know," Shweta says hurriedly. "Just that, it makes me wonder. If she's holding on because she still misses him after everything? Or is it because society consistently asks her to miss him so she'll just pretend she does. Don't get me wrong, but at the end of the day, all of this conservativeness is going to amount to nothing other than unhappiness."
"This conservativeness?" Shruti asks, folding her arms and looking at Shweta with a deathly calm. "Just what exactly is modernity, then? Fighting with everyone in your life for a boy?"
"That's not what I meant," Shweta says, taken aback by Shruti's words. The stinging reminder and the doubts she herself had been having resurfacing.
"Shweta, you don't have to tell me things for me to know them. And don't get me wrong either. You've always been intelligent, but lately, I cannot help but wonder if you're even seeing things for what they are."
"What do you mean?" Shweta asks, desperately not wanting to have the conversation with Shruti but knowing she needed to.
"The way I see it, your definition of modernism and feminism, to put it lightly, seems skewed," Shruti says and when Shweta opens her mouth to proceed, she hastens to explain. "The way you see it; maa ought to move on. Your modern intellect beseeches you to look down on maa's refusal to move on as a mark of conservativeness. Where does your feminism fit into this argument then? Because a feminist would argue that maa is capable of finding happiness irrespective of whether or not she gets a man."
"I didn't say she had to get a man," Shweta argues.
"Not in those exact words, you didn't. But isn't that what all of this is about? The losing your virginity deal, the boyfriend, your rebelliousness. This is how you've always been, haven't you? Trying to be all that maa doesn't want you. I love rebellion, I think it's beautiful. But a rebel without a cause is only an aesthetic just as useful as Pinterest quotes framed on walls."
"So, you're saying I should stop this all?" Shweta says, her head spinning and frustrated now.
"No. I'm saying, you should start asking yourself. Is your little boyfriend worth losing all that you have?"
A/n:Â I'd like to talk about something really important so stay with me today. It's only a tad bit and particularly for my young readers. This is something I wish someone else had told me when I was fifteen and reading Wattpad.
Girls are expected to be grateful for the things that are their birth rights and are given to boys without even a second thought. The disparity between the two genders is probably so much deeper than any of us could ever comprehend. Slut-shaming, girl-on-girl hate all of these only intensify misogyny and the system of patriarchy. You may read books that Shame girls who wear a lot of make-up and short clothes. THAT IS WRONG.
Shaming someone on the basis of the length of the clothes they wear is wrong. Shaming someone because they wear makeup is wrong. Shaming someone because they don't wear makeup is wrong. Girls wearing booty shorts and tank tops are just as amazing as girls who wear hoodies and read novels.
Wattpad has a rather alarming tendency to paint those girls as negative characters, always. I'm not shaming on any particular book and believe me, I read tons of those books when I was younger. But as of late, I've come to realize how it led me to develop a rather unhealthy outlook on life. Authors often paint those girls as bullies not realizing that they, themselves are bullying those characters and shaming them. Shaming them for loving clothes. Shaming them for wearing make-up. Shaming them for not reading books. We at Wattpad, as a book-loving community, fail to realize that there are people who don't love books. And that's okay! Because we all have the right to live the way we want.
I've realized all these things because of Lilly Singh's Girl Love campaign. It made me realize how much girl-on-girl hate exists in the world. So make sure you stay safe and away from those ideas that glorify one type of girl and shame others. So be proud of who you are and stop shaming other girls and help them be proud of themselves. And remember, no matter who you are or where you come from or what you look like, or what clothes you wear, YOU ARE VALID.
That's all for today. Much love to all of you who read till the end! Let me know your thoughts on the girl-on-girl hate in the comment section!
Yours sincerely,
shortgirlbigbook â¤ï¸.