Rienne closed her eyes.
That moment was very dear to her as well.
Though she had lived in the wide open Castle Nauk since she was very young, it did not feel like a home. It was too big and empty.
It was only after Black came in and filled that empty void that the castle started to feel full again. Like a real home.
Rienne reached out, tugging the hem of Blackâs clothing with a trembling hand.
[Rienne] âIs thatâ¦â¦even possible?â
[Black] âIt is. If you want it, Princess.â
[Rienne] âIâ¦..Even if I wanted it, I would have no right. I still canât allow you to hurt the Kleinfeldersâ¦..â
[Black] âI have no interest in killing them for revenge.â
[Rienne] âBut how is that possible? Your father was killed right in front of your eyes. And your name was stripped from you for so long.â
[Black] âI desire a home more than that. If giving up revenge is a way of getting that, itâs a simple choice for me.â
[Rienne] ââ¦..That canât be. Youâ¦.canâtâ¦.â
[Black] âWhat makes you so certain?â
Black smiled.
[Black] âImagine youâre eight years old, Princess. You have nothing left and your entire body is in pain, but you canât stop moving because youâre terrified someone might be right behind you, hunting you down.â
[Rienne] â. . .â
[Black] âYouâre so hungry and cold that you end up coming down with a fever. And as your body trembles and shakes, you start to pointlessly imagine things. In that moment, what do you think you would want the most?â
She couldnât answer.
Rienne had never suffered such an ordeal, so she wasnât qualified to answer his question.
[Black] âAt that point, more than anything, all I wanted was a home.â
[Rienne] ââ¦â¦Iâ¦â¦â
Rienne took a step forward, burying her face in Blackâs chest. She wanted to look up at him and see his face, but at the same time she didnât. She was afraid if she looked at him now, it would be too easy to see his eight year old self.
[Rienne] âIf I still canât believe in youâ¦â¦what would happen then?â
[Black] âI donât knowâ¦â¦..But it probably wonât make much of a difference.â
Black lifted up his hand, gently stroking Rienneâs head. As he did, he lowered his head, his mouth tensing. Then, he spoke softly with his lips against her ear.
[Black] âYou promised you would accept me, Princess.â
[Rienne] âBut I may not be able to, no matter how hard I try.â
[Black] âNo. You said you would. So starting today, both you and I will return to that moment, Princess. You will sleep in the same bed as me and once you open your eyes, youâll have to accept the kisses I give you.â
[Rienne] âAnd if I still canât trust you?â
[Black] âI can wait. While we live together, if nothing happens by the time you become a grandmother, then youâll be able to believe in me.â
[Rienne] â. . .â
Hearing such words coming from him, she could hold back her tears anymore.
Rienne wrapped her arms around Black in a hug. And in response, Black held Rienneâs body close to his, kissing her on the top of her head.
[Rienne] âA grandmotherâ¦â¦Youâre thinking too far ahead.â
[Black] âAll humans grow old.â
[Rienne] âStillâ¦â¦..I hate thinking about that already.â
[Black] âIs that so?â
With a careful and gentle motion, Black nestled his face against the soft hair atop Rienneâs head.
[Black] âIt makes me happy to hear you hate something, Princess.â
She said she didnât like it when he asked for permission before kissing her, and now she was telling him to stop imagining her as an old lady so early on.
Like a quiet and comfortable quarrel between a pair of passionate yet endearing lovers.
[Rienne] ââ¦â¦.I feel the same.â
[Black] âI havenât said I hate anything.â
[Rienne] âI know. Butâ¦â¦â¦.Iâm happy.â
Iâm happy that you donât hate anything about me.
She told him to keep his most hated enemy alive, and that she would eventually give birth to a child that would share such wretched blood, but that wasnât enough to make him hate her.
It didnât make any sense, so she ended up doubting him to the point of completely turning everything upside down. But still, he didnât feel any contempt towards her.
She felt such deep shame, but she also felt so happy.
Black seemed to understand the words Rienne kept deep inside. He pulled back from her suddenly, only to just as quickly swallow her lips.
The kiss that seemed to sting upon her lips was frighteningly sweet.
*
* * *
*
[Rienne] âItâs a good thing I took your advice, maâam.â
Rienne took her hands off the hem of Blackâs wedding attire.
The hem needed to be adjusted and embroidered quite a bit, but Mrs. Flambard insisted that they should use more expensive fabric on it because it would work well as a gift.
Looking at the finished product, she was amazed at how well it turned out.
[Mrs. Flambard] âDoesnât the embroidery look so much better like this? Of course it does. Well done, Princess.â
[Rienne] âIt looks wonderful.â
Rienneâs cheeks naturally blushed for a moment, imagining how well Black would look wearing these clothes.
[Mrs. Flambard] âDid something good happen, Princess?â
[Rienne] âAh, sorry?â
Her thoughts were a bit all over the place, causing Rienne to look back at Mrs. Flambard with a confused expression.
[Rienne] âSomething good? Why do you ask?â
[Mrs. Flambard] âYour complexion looks very different from this morning.â
[Rienne] âOhâ¦..â
It was a bit awkwardâ¦â¦knowing it was showing on her face so obviously.
[Rienne] âThatâs becauseâ¦..I think the misunderstandings have been resolved.â
[Mrs. Flambard] âThere was a misunderstanding, Princess?â
As the womanâs face quickly changed, Rienne realized she mustâve taken her words differently.
[Rienne] âNo, not with us, maâamâ¦â¦.I mean with Lord Tiwakan.â
[Mrs. Flambard] âOhâ¦â¦? Did you really? Then, if the situation has been resolvedâ¦â¦..â
[Rienne] âYes.â
Turning her gaze slightly away, there was a shy smile on Rienneâs face.
[Rienne] âLord Tiwakan has no intention of taking revenge. I didnât believe him at first, but it made more sense when he explained it to me.â
[Mrs. Flambard] âIs that so? Can you believe something so grandâ¦..simply by taking his word for it?â
[Rienne] âThat was why he was hiding it. He mustâve known that words alone wouldnât be enough.â
[Mrs. Flambard] âOh, so thatâs what happened. Did the old man who was brought to the castle tell you something helpful?â
[Rienne] âThatâsâ¦..â
Thinking about the old man, there were still a few things that didnât make any sense.
He said it was the Arsak family, not the Kleinfelders, who were the source of the revenge that would lead to bloodshed. He said it was because of the drought, but it felt like he was talking around the truth.
But looking at things more rationally, she wondered if it was even possible for such a sick and begging old man to know the truth of what the Kleinfelders had done.
Perhaps the old man was only privy to the fact that the Henton family was wiped out and only their youngest son managed to escape the carnage.
Maybe he was an acquaintance or a distant relative of the Henton family? It was possible he was simply turning to blame others because he couldnât bring himself to accept the truth of what happened. There were people like that who existed.
[Rienne] âYes. He remembered Lord Tiwakanâs old name.â
[Mrs. Flambard] âOh my. So he really was from Nauk?â
[Rienne] âYes.â
[Mrs. Flambard] âThen, the talks of the engagement with you, Princessâ¦â¦â¦â
[Rienne] âI donât think those conversations were ever made official. They likely werenât a well-known family, so perhaps they were only hoping for a betrothalâ¦â¦Hm. Maybe thatâs how they managed to attract the ire of the Kleinfelders.â
[Mrs. Flambard] âExcuse me? Did you say the Kleinfelders?â
[Rienne] âI think the Kleinfelders were responsible for the destruction of the Henton family.â
[Mrs. Flambard] âHentonâ¦â¦?â
[Rienne] âYes. That was Lord Tiwakanâs family. Do you know of them?â
[Mrs. Flambard] âNo, I donâtâ¦..but they sound strangely familiar. Hentonâ¦â¦..I wonder if my son might know. Ever since he was young, he had a knack for memorizing every little thing.â
[Rienne] âOh, you mentioned before he was in the Kingdom of Sharka?â
[Mrs. Flambard] âYes, he went to go study there. He said he would become a scholar and do some research using royal grants. Iâm sure he doesnât ever dream of returning to Nauk now. My son likely intends to die as a citizen of the Kingdom of Sharka.â
[Rienne] ââ¦â¦.You must miss him a lot.â
[Mrs. Flambard] âAll children are like that. Most men do not regard the place they were born as a home, but would rather go out and find a place of their own.â
[Rienne] âIs that so?â
Hearing those words filled her with a strange feeling.
When that man told her that she was the closest thing he had to the home he desired, a conflicting sensation of warmth and pain spread through her.
It was like he was saying that after wandering for so long with such an injured and exhausted body, that she was his destination. Those words were so heavy and they meant so much.
â¦â¦..But what about me?
Meanwhile, sheâd been lying to that man this whole time just to protect what was hers.
[Mrs. Flambard] âBut Princess, I donât quite understand.â
Though they fell off topic for a moment talking about her son, the conversation was quickly brought back to its original place.
[Mrs. Flambard] âIf House Kleinfelder is his enemy, then arenât his intentions behind why he proposed to you too obvious? And the childâ¦â¦.He must know itâs part of the Kleinfelder bloodline.â
[Rienne] âI know what youâre thinking. I had the exact same thought.â
[Mrs. Flambard] âWas that not his intent?â
[Rienne] âHe said he didnât want to lose me because of revenge.â
[Mrs. Flambard] âThatâsâ¦.â
[Rienne] âI told him that the Kleinfelders could not die. If that happened, the other nobles wouldnât stand idly by and Nauk would be torn in half by the ensuing war.â
[Mrs. Flambard] ââ¦â¦..Then you should tell him.â
Listening carefully to Rienneâs explanation, the woman spoke firmly.
[Rienne] âWhat do you mean?â
[Mrs. Flambard] âTell him you were never pregnant with a child of the Kleinfelders.â
[Rienne] âOhâ¦â¦â
[Mrs. Flambard] âSay it now, Princess. That way, youâll be able to concretely know what he is thinking. If he is willing to set aside his grudges for you, Princess, then he will simply be happy to know you are not having a child, no?â
She wasnât wrong.
[Mrs. Flambard
] âBut on the other hand, if he truly wished to bring harm to the child, then his true nature would then be revealed.â
[Rienne] ââ¦â¦Youâre right.â
But there was still something that was weighing on her heart.
After she told him, heâd know sheâd been lying to him this entire timeâ¦â¦â¦He would probably feel disappointed or even betrayed.
[Mrs. Flambard] âAnd even ignoring all of that, itâs quite the blow to him. Imagine how he must feel, setting aside such an intense hatred for that family just for your sake, Princess. And if he really cares for you, then arenât the other emotions he must endure even more painful? Being forced to raise the child of his enemy as his own? Itâs too horrible to even think about.â
[Rienne] âYouâre very right. Iâm doing something truly awful to him.â
[Mrs. Flambard] âSo tell the truth as soon as possible.â
[Rienne] ââ¦Yes. I think that would be best.â
The woman patted Rienne on the back of her hand, showing a face that expressed relief that she had finally made her choice.
[Mrs. Flambard] âYes, please do it. Iâm sure it will go well.â
[Rienne] âI know.â
She felt a little worriedâ¦â¦..but she had to say it. She had to.
That man was doing something that no other man could easily do. Even if he kept saying it was fine, that didnât mean it wasnât hard.
Steeling her heart, Rienne nodded her head.
Then, she and Mrs. Flambard carefully wrapped up the wedding attire that they had finished last minute, putting a clean cloth around it and tucking it away in a closet, getting ready for the night.
*
* * *
*
[Mrs. Flambard] âWhy are you taking out another blanket, Princess?â
Rienne paused at the sudden question curiously posed by the woman.
It was a very uncomfortable question.
[Rienne] âAh, wellâ¦â¦â¦.We decided to sleep in the same bed starting from today.â
[Mrs. Flambard] âExcuse me?â
[Rienne] âItâs a bit complicated to explainâ¦â¦.Butâ¦..There is a reason for it.â
It would be too hard to explain and even harder to understand all the promises that were involved in this.
It wasnât because she was embarrassed or too ashamed to say it. It was just that she and Black shared a tower of emotions with each other. It would be unreasonable to suddenly point to the top and ask someone to understand when they hadnât seen the process of building it.
[Rienne] âLord Tiwakan in no way covets my body, so you donât need to worry about that, maâam.â (1)
[Mrs. Flambard] âNo, thatâs not what I meant.â
The woman shook her head nervously.
[Mrs. Flambard] âWhat right do I have to nag those who have already arranged their marriage about sharing a bed? I only thought to mention that you are presently dealing with your monthly visitor right now, Princess, so it might be better to avoid sleeping together.â
[Rienne] âAhâ¦..â
With the unexpected reminder of the equally unexpected problem, Rienne frowned.
[Rienne] âIâm in no pain because of the medicine, so it mustâve slipped my mind.â
[Mrs. Flambard] âOh dear.â
[Rienne] âWhat should I do?â
After thinking about it for a moment, Mrs. Flambard nodded her head.
[Mrs. Flambard] âActually, this works out perfectly for you. You are going to tell him everything tonight. Say that you are not pregnant, and that everything was simply due to your time of the month.â
[Rienne] âOhâ¦.I suppose I should.â
I donât think Iâm mentally prepared for that.
But I shouldnât delay any longerâ¦â¦..Right?
* * *
T/N: (1) The raws use the exact terminology of âstealingâ her body, i.e forcing himself on her.