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[Rienne] ââ¦â¦I donât hate the idea.â
Her heart was not divided on this issue. It was a conclusion she had come to a long time ago. Even if she did not deserve to love the last prince of the Gainers royal family, Rienne already decided she would.
And for that sake, she would keep this truth to herself for the rest of her life.n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om
[Rienne] âSo donât push me away. I donât like that.â
[Black] âTwo.â
[Rienne] âYou donât need to count.â
[Black] âI told you to think carefully.â
[Rienne] âAnd I have. So you donât have to keep counting.â
[Black] ââ¦..Threeâ¦..â
The moment she saw Black start to say the number three, Rienne stood up on her tippy-toes, covering his mouth with her hand. It was the same hand that was wrapped tightly in a thick bandage.
[Rienne] âDonât count.â
When he looked down at her, Rienne was clearly reflected in his blue eyes, his emotions pouring down on her like flowing water.
[Rienne] âFor the longest time, I didnât know what I wanted or didnât want. Mostly I wished for what any ruler of Nauk would. The end of the drought.â
Her heart was aching, but now she knew why.
She wanted this man in front of her to stay by her side.
[Rienne] âBut now I know. I know what I want. As myself, Rienne Arsak, not the ruler of Nauk.â
[Black] ââ¦â¦And what is that?â
Black reached up, removing Rienneâs hand from covering his mouth as he asked.
[Rienne] âI want to stay with you. And I want to get married.â
Just then, Black tightly clasped Rienneâs bandaged hand as he faced her. Feeling a sharp pain in her cut palm, Rienne slightly winced.
[Black] âThe thing that really gets me about you, Princessâ¦..â
But rather than tell him she was in pain, Rienne swallowed back those words. There had to be a reason why she needed to feel hurt right now.
[Black] ââ¦â¦is that I still donât know. Other people have the luxury of just accepting lies when itâs convenient, no matter how obvious they areâ¦â¦.but I get so angry when I think that those words that drive me crazy might actually be a lie. So if you were planning on lying to me, couldnât you have done a better job? Lie so that Iâll never figure it out.â
[Rienne] âIâm not lying.â
[Black] âBut I guess it doesnât matter now.â
Black bit his lip.
[Black] âI told you. Iâd only give you one chance. Whether or not itâs a lie that you donât hate the idea of marrying me, you will be my wife, Princess. No matter what you do, that will not change.â
[Rienne] âIâ¦.I want that, too.â
But Black didnât seem to believe it, just quietly letting go of her hand.
[Black] âLike I said before, your hand will hurt. And while it does, I want you to think about why. After it heals, I wonât allow you to get hurt in the same way again.â
[Rienne] âLord Tiwakanâ¦â¦â
[Black
] âRest. Iâll come back once my headâs cooled down.â
Slamâ!
And before she could stop him for a second time, Black left without another word, quickly opening the door and leaving the bedroom as he slammed it behind him.
Besides, Rienne didnât have the courage to stop him again.
[Rienne] ââ¦â¦Heâs right.â
Rienne pressed her other hand against her palm, feeling the pain start to spread. She couldnât feel it before, so it felt like it was hitting her all at once.
[Rienne] âIf Iâm going to pretend, then I need to do it better.â
The truth she was keeping inside. Pretending she didnât know anything about the past.
[Rienne] âI can do it.â
Rienne closed her eyes, whispering to herself. Holding onto her palm, blood started to seep through her pure white bandage.
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[Black] âThis is clearly your fault.â
Bangâ!
Phermos swallowed hard, casting his gaze towards the chair crushed right before his eyes.
He offered it to Black as a place to sit, but he just kicked it across the room, as if he was telling Phermos not to play around. Looking at the ruined chair made obvious Blackâs foul mood, even if he wasnât showing it on his face.
[Phermos] âMy apologies, my Lord. Even if I had ten mouths, I have no excuses.â
If that same kick were to be geared towards his knee instead of the chair, heâd have to carry a cane for the rest of his life, he was sure.
Even thinking about it made the sensation of chills run down his back.
[Phermos] âIâ¦..didnât think she would wander around the castle while knowing she needed to hide her identity. But Iâm not making excuses.â
It sounded like an excuse, but it was true.
Though they had freed Mrs. Henton from her indentured servitude to the Kleinfelders, her status hadnât been restored. The name âHentonâ was still taboo, tooâsuch would be the case until all six families were dealt with.
Mrs. Henton knew that truth better than anyone.
And yet, against any sane personâs better judgement, she wandered around the castle, which was something Phermosâ hadnât anticipated.
The Tiwakan had given her the room at the top of the northern tower, and presently it was considered one of the safest locations in all of Nauk. But Mrs. Henton took the safety they had given her and kicked it right back with her foot.
After the incident, they escorted her back to her room, and Phermos left a mercenary stationed there to watch over her.
[Black] ââ¦â¦.Did she tell the Princess my name?â
Phermos shook his head.
[Phermos] âI donât think so. I asked her several times, but the answer was always the same. I donât think sheâs lying, butâ¦â¦â
[Black] âBut?â
[Phermos] âI think the servant may have told the Princess something, though she denies ever having met him.â
[Black] ââ¦â¦That must be the reason.â
Black swept a nervous hand through his hair.
[Black] âWeâre drifting apart again.â
Crossing his arms, Black grumbled in anger and frustration. He was leaning against Phermosâ desk, crumbling and crushing all the documents that were beneath him as he did.
Phermos could swear this was the first time heâd seen Black in such an irritated and perturbed mood.
[Black] âTchâ¦â¦â
But seeing the incarnation of war itself get so frustrated over his problems withâ¦â¦a woman of all things? That felt a bitâ¦..
[Phermos] âWill this cause any delay in the marriage arrangements?â
[Black] âNo. That wonât ever happen.â
[Phermos] âSo youâve already come to an agreement with the Princess?â
[Black] âShe said she wanted to get marriedâ¦â¦though I donât believe her.â
[Phermos] âI see.â
So thatâs why he was in such an awful mood right now.
[Phermos] âButâ¦I think it may be true.â
Quietly fiddling with his monocle, Phermos spoke clearly and plainly. Cocking his head, Black turned to him.
[Black] âWhat do you know?â
[Phermos] âThe Princess said that her reason for wishing to spare the servant was because of you, my Lord. She didnât say much else on the matter, but I think she meant it sincerely when she said she was thinking of you.â
[Black] âIf she knew my name, things would be different. Even if she wanted to be sincere with me, she wouldnât be able to.â
[Phermos] âAnd is that becauseâ¦..um, your families are intertwined with a grudge?â
Deciding to take a little bit of a chance, Phermos rolled the dice and asked a very telling question.
Black obviously didnât want to talk about his past, but it was hard to ignore all of the clues that were presenting themselves to him so clearly. And with the appearance of someone like Mrs. Henton, it was only a matter of time before he found things out.
Phermosâ mind worked too much like a machine to not piece together the information he was gathering to form a more complete story.
[Black] âThey were involved in my familyâs death.â
[Phermos] âOh, I seeâ¦..â
By now, Phermos felt like he knew what Blackâs name was.
Gainers.
According to the royal records, that name existed as the royal house before the Arsaks. And within those missing records from twenty years ago, was the secret as to why the royal name was passed from the Gainerses to the Arsaks.
But based on the fact that the records were missing at all, it was clear the full truth wasnât a very pretty one. If it was anything to be proud of, the records would never have been tampered with.
Speaking with the servant, Klimah, Princess Rienne mustâve discovered the ugly truth.
If his mother knew the whole truth, then the servant certainly did as well. When he kidnapped Rienne, he mustâve told her something, but even so, Rienne still decided to try and save his life.
Soâ¦in truth, Phermos didnât understand what his Lord and the Princess were doing at all. (1)
Taking into account everything, it was obvious Princess Rienne was truly trying to be sincere to his Lord. If the Princess was bound by this past grudge, she would be more likely to try and kill the servant to conceal the truth rather than spare his life.
[Phermos] âDoes that not matter to you?â
[Black] âI said they were involved, but I didnât say I was resentful about it.â
[Phermos] âSo, you hold no grudge?â
[Black] âI told you this before. I want to keep whatâs mine. If I held any kind of resentment about things, this wouldnât be a matter of trying to take things back.â
To destroy something utterly, whilst coating it in a sea of blood.
Something like that would be childâs play for the leader of the Tiwakan. Phermos couldnât entirely relate to Blackâs sentiment, but he could at least understand that it wasnât any kind of grudge that was moving him forward now.
[Phermos] âThen, would things not be the same for the Princess? Grudge or not, itâs entirely possible for her to still be sincere. Isnât that how relationships between men and women tend to work?â
[Black] âNoâ¦.Itâs not possible.â
[Phermos] âWhat makes you so certain?â
[Black] âSomeone whoâs sincere wouldnât tear apart clothing meant for a wedding. All while not noticing how hurt she was getting.â
[Phermos] âOh, I seeâ¦â¦Then I spoke out of turn, my Lord.â
Considering the possibility, Phermos tried to nod, but then quickly kept still after taking a step back. Beyond the glass lens of his monocle, it was clear that Blackâs already harsh and grimaced expression was becoming more angered.
If ever there was a time for him to watch his words, it was now. If he didnât, heâd be crying while preparing his walking cane this time tomorrow.
[Phermos] âThenâ¦..what will you do? The wedding ceremony isâ¦..â
[Black
] âProceed with it as planned.â
[Phermos] âDid the Princess agree to that?â
[Black] âSo she said.â
But right after he said that, he quietly added on with a bitter voice.
[Black] âBut I donât believe her.â
[Phermos] ââ¦â¦â¦.Still, you never know. The human heart is inherently complicated. As time goes on, perhaps even the Princess may be able to move past the idea resentment for the dead.â
[Black] ââ¦â¦I just have to wait longer.â
But there was a problem.
Black was starting to lose what little patience he had.
The bigger his expectations grew, the harder it was becoming to control his body.
Even now, when he closed his eyes, he could remember Rienneâs scent lingering at the tip of his nose. And whenever she was in front of him, it was a miracle he could keep his hands from moving when all he wanted to do was hold her.
[Black] âFirst, find the servant. I need to know what he said to her.â
[Phermos] âUnderstood.â
[Black] âAnd try not to mess him up. Heâll come quietly once he knows we have his mother.â
[Phermos] âVery well.â
[Black] âBring Manau, too. Weâll need him for the council meeting.â
Manau was the old beggar from the front of the Temple. But Phermos didnât know that, pushing up his monocle as he tilted his head.
[Phermos] âIâm sorry, who?â
Black glanced at Phermos with a face that seemed to express he thought what he was saying was obvious.
[Black] âHe was the High Priest from twenty years ago.â
[Phermos] âThe High Priestâ¦â¦? But I thought Naukâs High Priest was a life-long position?â
And because it was a life-long position, that meant all High Priests besides the current one would be dead.
[Black] âThatâs why he lives like a beggar. Hiding his identity with that foolish stutter of his.â
[Phermos] âOhâ¦.Though that reminds me, my Lord. I have something I want to confirm with you.â
Phermos suddenly raised his voice.
[Phermos] âItâs a bit hard to pretend I donât know anything when itâs all sitting so obviously in front of me. So should I proceed under the assumption that you were once a member of the Gainers royal house, my Lord?â
[Black] âI expected you would figure it out at some point. Though Iâm surprised you didnât know who Manau was.â
From Phermosâ perspective, it felt a little rude and unfair to hear that he âexpectedâ he would figure it out.
[Phermos] âIf thatâs the case, why couldnât you have just said something to me earlier? It feels like youâre making me suffer on purpose.â
And after a quiet thought, Blackâs answer came delayed.
[Black] ââ¦â¦I had no intention of letting anyone know. But I was caught off guard by names like Henton and Manau suddenly reappearing.â
That was the complete truth.
Besides trying to keep the past and his identity hidden, he never once lied to Rienne.
[Black] âIâm aware that my name would act as a call for blood, and I didnât want that. I didnât want Princess Rienne to know about it, and I still feel that wayâ¦â¦No, I feel like that now more than ever.â
Black let out a drawn out and heavy sigh.
[Black] âI just wanted to take back what was mine. As much as I could.â
It had been over twenty years, and he wasnât stupid enough to think reclaiming his position was possible. There was no place left for the Gainers name in Nauk and never again would he live as Prince Fernand. Nor did he want to live the life of a royal after all this time.
The reason why he wanted to get Nauk back was something else entirely. It was like an instinct calling him homeâan instinct he couldnât cut off as a boy, though he tried. After all, he was only human and all humans desired a place to return to.
But besides Nauk, he had no other place he could call a home.
And more than that, there was something from the past that remained with him, always sticking with him completely.
Though he was far from the same person he was back then, in his young eyes, his would-be-fiancée was like this mysterious and lovely figureâendlessly vague yet pulling him forth, as if she were drawing him into flight from his lone forest.
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T/N: The title of this chapter is a phrase usually used in reference to birds, like carrier pigeons that are trained to return to a set point. No matter where they go, how far they travel, or how long theyâre gone, they will always have some kind of instinct that calls them to return âhomeâ, so to speak. Thatâs the turn of phrase that Black uses to describe his feelings.