Honestly, if I had more time, I'd have invested another 50k words into making this relationship a bit more natural and let it progress slowly. Sadly I don't, so YOLO
* * *
Why is it that just because of one single mistake or good thing, people forget about all good or bad things others did to us? What is it in our nature that makes us either forgive or loathe?
I couldn't believe that I, Kaley Evansville, agreed to live with and marry Blake. It's like throwing yourself into a lion's den. Maybe I had some fever, because in all honesty, something was wrong with me. Do you know what was the worst part?
I didn't even mind it.
Who knows, maybe this would turn out to be good or something. But then again, I had that nagging feeling that it would all turn out to be hell.
I was unreasonable, he was unreasonable, life was unreasonable so to hell with everything!
At the very moment, I was at home packing things I wanted to take with me and Ayden. With Blake pestering me to move in as soon as possible, and Ayden rubbing salt to my wounds wanting to meet Amy, I decided to leave him once again at Blake's before coming home to pack our belongings.
"This as well?" Blake called from the living room, holding an old, rusty doll. Yup, I forgot to mention that he was helping me, but I let that thought slip from my thoughts. He found her! I immediately put down the photo frame of me and Ayden grinning for Christmas presents from three years ago and headed towards Blake to take Gretchen. It was an old doll I apparently had since I was a baby. I thought I had lost her.
"Oh my God, you found her!" I exclaimed before taking it. "She needs a few stitches here and there, but she's alive!" I hugged her as Blake warmly smiled at me. "What?" I asked with a glare and he raised his arms in surrender.
"Nothing, just . . . I had one too, a sailor boy, but it got burnt," he said and I felt sorry for him. No one deserved to see their childhood toys get destroyed. Moreover, how did it get burnt?
"Oh, well . . . we can always make you one," I suggested, making him chuckle.
"I have a new hobby now. I'm making boats and ships, so I don't really need one. Besides, I'm a grown-up now."
I rolled my eyes at his words before going back to my room to finish with the packing. "Just wanted to help," was all I said before resuming with what I've been doing for the last two hours.
Of course, I understood. The silent regret over something that cannot be regained when he said those words weren't just about his toy. But I didn't need to understand too much. We weren't a real couple; we were just two people trying to get along for the sake of our child. So his secrets and my secrets need not be opened for each other to see.
Few more minutes later, everything necessary and what held some sentimental memories for me was packed inside of six boxes. Blake cracked his knuckles before pulling the keys from his pocket and handling them to me.
"Press this button towards my car." He showed me which one, then he pointed to the boxes. "Then open the back doors for me. I'll get them inside." I remembered that Mel didn't know about me moving in her brother's house nor the reason why. Seeing as she knew that I was pregnant, I needed to ask her how she found out and inform her of the baby's father. But I was afraid. Yes, I was very scared to do that. How do you tell your best friend that she'll be the aunt of your child?
When he had finished moving boxes to the car, he got in the driver seat before putting on a safety belt and telling me to do the same.
"And house locked, boxes packed, you packed. Did we forget something?"
"Nope, all that is left now is to move in, someone else will take the house," I mumbled though I doubted that someone actually would.
"I'll take it," he said, starting the car. "With nice investment, it will be a great safe house."
"Safe house?" I asked with confusion and he grinned, not taking his eyes off the road.
"My company has this branch that is focused on building safe houses all over the world. So far, we built one hundred and forty-five just in America and Europe. Great accomplishment if you ask me. This place can be taken down and used to build another safe house for those abused in families or for those without a home. You know how it works," he explained. I stared at him with my lips slightly parted. "Its location couldn't be any better. It's an extremely safe environment and the police station is not too far from here. Seeing as you've been renting it, I'll have to talk with the owner, but I doubt that they'll complain."
I was in awe of his explanation. Safe houses aren't a project one could earn a lot from or anything, yet they managed to build so many of them. It takes a lot of money and effort to start up something as building a single house and rarely who would take out so much money to invest into something that won't really bring them any return.
"Oh, what is that your company about?" I was interested in it.
"You know, buying buildings, selling them to people who'll further sell them to other people who'll further sell them to other people, be it to live in them or rent them, something like that. We have more branches that are about other things as well. Main is here in Seattle," he explained as I took in the newfound information. I was right about him being a businessman.
"Oh. And what is your job?" What is his position in a company like that?
"Who, me?" He grinned. "Well, I'm aâ" Just as he was about to continue, he suddenly hit the brakes. "Fucking idiot!" He headed outside and slammed the doors shut. The guy in front of us had almost crashed his car with ours and all I heard was Blake shouting at the guy who had the audacity to fight back at him. I only stared at them from inside wondering as to what the hell even happened in these few seconds. It lasted for a few minutes before the police eventually came and settled down the matter.
* * *
"Put all that in the third room on the right, first floor," Blake's voice echoed through the halls, as I stayed silent still trying to recover from the accident from earlier. After the police came and they talked and talked and talked, I almost fell asleep before Blake came back inside with a cold face.
He had probably won the argument since the police stayed to talk more to that guy as we drove off, and when I asked what happened, Blake only said: "Invalid license, not to mention driving mistakes he made. He's probably going to jail."
After listening for the next half hour about how really important it is to be careful when driving, I learned one really important thing; for some reason, he was really serious about driving safely. At the time, I didn't understand why, but I'm about to find out about it much later. However, it was certain that he also might have the similar PTSD from cars like I do.
"And those, first room to the left down the same hall." He indicated to the three boxes that contained Ade's things. Three guys that were doing itâI was yet to find out their namesâgot on the job and started carrying those boxes. Well, at least I was close to Ade's room.
I'm not sure how it came to this situation, but after Blake asked me to move in, I ended up saying yes. I was taken by surprise with our electricity being cut off since I spent the entire day at his house and remembered that I hadn't paid yet for it. I did have money to pay, but I wasn't really able to think clearly after all that happened. And even the rent got higher and higherâas I was behind on more than a couple of months on rent; so this was the best option as of now. Blake, of course, paid everything when he saw the state of my problem. I wanted to strangle him, but gave up. Second thing I learned about him: he was so adamant that it was becoming a pain in the posterior, especially when it comes to money. I was even tempted to make him fall into poverty by using up all his money. Alas, jealousy was not a good thing. How could I, Kaley, be such a bad adult?
The more and more I thought about living with him, the lesser doubts I had. Somehow, Blake has offered us a roof over our heads, so I guessed that he was not as bad as I thought him to be. He wanted to take care of our baby, which was a big plus for him. Although, things happened so fast that I still feel unreal when I look around myself.
I remember how an old woman told me an interesting thing when it comes to relationships. Children under ten will simply snatch and bully people that they like. Teens are the age of exploration, so teens would simply follow along with anything they see and try to copy it in their relationships. People in their twenties are slightly more mature and may do more, but will also have the more rational decisions the older they get. They may also aim to bring a lover back home as much as they can. This was probably Blake.
In their thirties, they'll just go along with anything since they have neither the time nor strength to toss around. So if they see someone decent, they'll marry first, love later. In their forties, it's like picking up cabbages. As long as it looks decent and is edible, they'll just take it home regardless of its age and maturity. Even if other people give them that cabbage randomly on the road, they'll take it if it's decent enough. Looking at the woman that's obviously in her fifties, I naturally asked her about the next generation. And she said, at her age, even if they see rotten cabbage inexplicably appear in their homes out of nowhere, as long as they can cut off the bad parts, it would be fine to just boil the rest and eat it.
Although I'm just eighteen years old today, I somehow feel like I belonged to this last category. It's just that my cabbage. Ehem, Blake, was in a much better state than expected. I sighed. Cabbage or whatnot, I just hoped that I wouldn't regret my decision.
"Hey, are you even listening to me?" Blake snapped his fingers in front of my face, making me realize that I had zoned out.
"Um sorry, cabbage I was just thinkingâehemâI wanted to eat cabbage out of nowhere." Fuck, I actually called him a cabbage!
"Cabbage?" He frowned. "Alright, we'll have it for dinner. But anyway, as I was saying, tomorrow we will go to the doctor to check on the baby and you. Your health is the most important thing at this moment." Fortunately, he bought it!
"If you continue talking like that, I'll actually start thinking that you care for me more than you do for the baby," I mused. His lips twitched into something that resembled a smile. Since when did we become so close? Nah, I was probably just seeing things, he was always going around like some serious Dracula; frowning and scaring the light away.
"Who said I don't already? Giving birth is already dangerous enough, so you also need to be cared for properly. I was serious when I said that I wanted us to live together and take care of the baby properly." He shrugged and went to the kitchen.
Huh? Was giving birth really that complicated?
My eighteen-year-old self truly had no idea about this matter, but since he said to visit the doctor, then so be it.
Dumbfounded by his words, I glanced around and saw that the living room was in much better state than the last time I saw it. How the hell had he managed to fix it all in just a few hours?
Magic. I was getting more and more keen on the possibility of him being a vampire with every passing second.
"Come to the kitchen, you should be eating!" I heard his voice shout from there.
Where did all chivalry go?
"I'm coming," I shouted back. How he annoyed me . . . Oh, how would I like to throw him on a stake, but then again I would end up in prison. And I'd feel sorry for the stake for being forced to burden him.
So no killing Blake for now. I didn't know when my thoughts became so violent. Was it because of pregnancy? Sure enough, it's all because of these mood swings.
I didn't want to admit that my true self was that violent.
"This is the second time today!" His voice, though not high at all, pierced my eardrums and I glared at him. "Why do you keep zoning out when I'm talking to you?" he asked in disbelief. Thanks for making me feel like a sunshine.
"Sorry, what were you saying?" I asked once again as I watched him take out a bowl with macaroni inside. I really wanted to eat it.
"Heated or cold?" he asked, going to the microwave and I grinned.
"Heated, please," I said. He proceeded to do it. Who'd ever eat them cold?
"As I was saying before you zoned off,"âhe glared at me againâ"you should eat properly. Don't forget that there are two or maybe three of you now," he said after sighing loudly. And this time I glared at him again. "And you should start taking proper supplements now because of the baby. No offense, but your hips are too small, therefore I think that you might need a C-section because there's a high chance of your pelvis creating a problem during labor. Who knows? Maybe it's possible for it to go the natural way, though we should talk with the doctor," he said and I tilted my head in confusion. Fricking heck, was he mocking me for being too short?
"You seem to know a lot about pregnancies," I pointed out, pretending not notice his comment. "Why?"
I heard him groan with a sour expression on his face. "Well when you have an obstetrician as your best friend who talks a lot and whom you stayed with for nights while he was preparing for final exams, a lot of things can be learned that way," Blake explained and I laughed. "I've been helping him with his studies quite often, so I got to pick up a thing or two."
I shivered at that, I didn't want to know about it anymore.
"And who is he?" But I still inquired instead of changing the topic.
"I think you know him, from what I could understand he likes to annoy you, Max," he said and my mouth dropped.
Of course, why was I so confused? He came to my workplace with him, and Mel is good friends with him. It's obvious that he knows Max and in the hospital when I fainted. Could it be Max who told Melissa about my pregnancy? If it's Melissa who asked, then it would be no wonder, that woman can torture out any information out of that miserable boy.
Now that I recall, didn't that doctor that mistook Max as my boyfriend also mention something about my case being connected to his profession?
"Yup, and we're going to him tomorrow. I trust only him when it comes to this situation."
Overprotective much? Nope, more like: "I'm the boss and I have only one person who I will make you visit because I'm a hysterical moron who wants to have it all his way" vibe.
Huh, doesn't this seem like an overbearing CEO vibe, actually?
My eyes narrowed. He said he was the boss or something, right? So like . . . no way?
"Wait, what? I'm not going to your friend, mine as well. Get me another obstetrician! Why would you think I'd let him check me down there? He's a guy!" I immediately protested. There were no chances that I'd let something like that happen. Why were guys into that job anyway, I want a woman for my doctor!
"You are not being reasonable, Kaley. It doesn't matter if he's our friend or not, the point is that I have trust in his skills. You would eventually need to go to one, but if it's your doctor, I'd rather prefer someone we can both trust than some stranger. Moreover, what kind of misunderstanding do you have when it comes to checkups?"
No, but like . . .
"Fine," I sighed in defeat and dug into the food he gave me. It was macaroni with cheese and he got up from his chair before getting to the fridge and handing me a bottle of ketchup.
"Try it with ketchup, it's much better if you ask me," He said and I decided to trust his cooking advice, he made the best chicken with mashed potatoes, and that said something. At least there was some use in living with Blake; he makes meals to die for.
One thing that's been bothering me was Blake's telling me that since I was pregnant and was going to live with him, that there was no way in hell I'd be working.
"Again, really?" He groaned, slamming his hand down on the table I was eating at. "Stop zoning off!" It wasn't too loud nor strong, if nothing he seemed to have a lot of self-control.
"It's not my fault that you're very boring," I told him nonchalantly and this time he was the one that was sending glares my way. I couldn't understand myself. Why was I so easygoing with him like nothing ever happened, like we were friends for a long time?
Is it really as that woman said, no matter how rotten the cabbage might be, as long as you cut off the bad parts and pretend they don't exist, everything will be alright?
"Very funny," he said sarcastically before leaving me alone with my meal I enjoyed, forgetting about my internal battle once again. He was right, it tasted much better with ketchup. At least, my appetite got good enough to finish off two whole plates.
My belly was so bloated I wanted to lie down and never move again. But it wasn't even that long before Ayden came rushing to me, and the doubt of me doing something wrong struck me again.
"Sis, sis you need to see my new room. It's so huge. And I have my own train rail and balony." He still couldn't say balcony, which I found extremely cute.
"Ooh, come here," I lifted him up, letting him sit on my legs as I hugged him tightly. Children really are simple. If you give them things, they don't question them and will accept them happily.
"Did I ever say how much I love you?" I asked him, giggling; I was way too emotional for my own sake. I kissed his cheek as he tried to wiggle out of my grasp, but to no avail.
"Eww, nooo. Let me go!" He tried to escape while laughing, but I really wanted to hug someone and had found a perfect target. "Let me go, it's not cool for a hero like me to be hugged and kissed. Let go, sissy!"
He continued to wiggle around but I only continued to land kisses on his face even more. "You do know that behind every great man stands a strong woman?" I asked him and he huffed.
"Well I'm a boy not a man," he said and I grinned. Smart indeed. "And I'm way more cool than you." He stuck his tongue out at me.
"Wait, if you're cooler than me, does that make me hotter than you?" Ha, take that. I heard Melissa using that against Max once and it turned out to be a powerful weapon against everyone.
"What does that even mean?" he mumbled in confusion, making me chuckle. I so missed having fun with Ade. Ever since his surgery, we haven't had time for ourselves, except for today with ice cream, but Blake interrupted that.
Oh, the snow. from back then surprisingly didn't stop after a short time. There's already a thin layer outside, but I suddenly realized that I didn't mind it as much as I used to. It seems, in front of life that keeps marching on forward without a pause, worries and fears can be so insignificant sometimes that you can forget them without even realizing what's going on.
It was really surprising since it never snowed before Christmas and Christmas was just in three days now. It was relieving to know that I will finally be able to spend time with Ade on that day. I should go and buy him a present, now that I thought about it.
I should have probably thanked Blake as well, although I still didn't like him. Maybe buy one present for him as well?
"Kally!"
"Yes Addie?" I returned with his special nickname and he groaned.
"That's a girl's name," he protested.
"So? It's cute, just like you." I tapped his little nose, smiling.
"I'm not cute!" he protested even louder this time.
"You are," I threw back at him.
"No I'm not!" He trashed his tiny feet, making me put him down on the ground as he jumped a few times.
"You are," I continued in a singsong voice, leaning on the chair and enjoying the way I annoyed him.
"Am not!"
"Blake!" I called out once he entered the kitchen, realizing that it was the first time I called him by his name. "Ade is cute, right?" I asked and he nodded with a frown, obviously not understanding what was going on in here.
"I'm not! I'm very manly!" he argued and Blake laughed.
"You should never say to a guy that he's cute, even if he's just a kid," Blake said and I grinned. Boy, oh boy.
"Why, you can't bear the fact that you're cute unlike other guys, huh?" Blake glared at me and those words. He then started grinning, realizing something.
"So, you think that I'm actually cute unlike other guys, do you now?" He said and my mouth dropped. That little . . . I mean tall!
"Well yeah, most guys I see are either hot and sexy, but you, on the other hand, are cute." Two can play this game.
"Why thank you, I think you are a cute girl as well." Did he just? "Unlike other women I've been with, they were hot and sexy."
I don't know why but his words made me speechless and I wanted to hit him. He made a fair, but nasty statement, not much different from what I've done. I just got up muttering a weak "excuse me" as I made my way to the bedroom from the previous night, but before I got far, Blake got a hold of me. He took my hand before spinning me so that I was looking at his eyes.
"But, you are actually beautiful. That childishness of yours is very beautiful, Kaley. So don't lose it." And with that, he moved from me before he left, leaving me speechless once again.
Whether he said that as an excuse for his mistake or because he really meant it, it made me feel relieved.
I really didn't know just what was the real face of a man whom I thought of to be nothing but a random stranger that I could never speak on the same terms with for the last few weeks.
I accepted everything believing that it was the right way of living life. But little did I know that just accepting things makes me no different to those who don't know how to live, being saved just by breathing properly and going along the flow. Because the true way to shape oneself lies in having opinions, and making decisions for oneself, regardless of other people's opinions.
Opinions and decisions I yet did not know how to voice out.
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Those ending paragraphs are kind of cute. I admire my younger self that was influenced by XEBEC's Fafner series - for I right now can't come up with so many emotional dramas to end chapters with lol