Chapter 38 - Insult Wars
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"I'm freaking out so bad!" Melanie screamed as she ran into the room, her blonde hair in curlers and to anyone who didn't know her, they'd assume she had just escaped from a mental asylum.
"Just calm down Mel!" Lina smiled.
Lina and Melanie have surprisingly become really good friends. Lina now joins Melanie, Melissa, and me on our girl nights and we always have a blast together.
"I'm trying Lee! I really am. I'm so nervous, you won't believe what I saw last night!" She said and I rolled my eyes.
"You watched those youtube videos again?" I asked her with a raised eyebrow.
"Guilty as charged," She said putting her head down, in an embarrassed manner.
"Melanie!" Melissa complained, "Why would you do that? Aren't watching those things before your actual wedding day like a bad omen?" She asked no one in particular.
"Probably is," Lina said.
"I think so too, just like the one where you aren't allowed to see the groom the day before," I added.
"Exactly!" Lissa said and I grinned.
As soon as we finished helping Melanie get ready, the three of us all dressed in the bridesmaid dress that she had chosen for us. Melanie had stipulated that we were allowed to wear whatever design we wanted as long as it was the exact same color as each other and the dress was floor length.
When we were all ready for the ceremony, we got our pictures done before we carefully climbed into the limousine waiting for us and went to the Cathedral where Melanie and Alessio had booked to be married.
Melanie and Alessio's wedding went well. They said their vows and everyone cheered them on when the priest announced them as 'Mr. and Mrs. Jackson'. I thought they both looked really sweet and coordinated. I had been the maid of honor and my boyfriend, Brandon Hawthorne, was my date and the person who accompanied me. He was the best man.
We were currently at the reception and Mrs. Lanser, Mel's mom, had practically forced me to go to the bouquet catching. I was being pushed and shoved while I stood at the back immobile as ever. Melanie smiled at everyone before she turned around and randomly threw her elegantly designed bouquet in the air behind her. As it sailed passed them the girls began to scream and try to catch it, but it landed on my chest and my reflexes forced me to catch it.
I looked at the bouquet in my hand and my jaw had dropped so low that it practically touched the ground I was standing on.
"Congratulations Ashley! Do you want to know who got the garter?" Melanie asked from her podium winking at me.
"Who?" I asked deciding to be brave.
"Who other than Brandon Hawthorne," Melanie said and winked again, "Must be fate!"
As the night drew on I enjoyed the event a lot. Alessio and Melanie had decided to follow many traditions. They also had really cool things going on like a photo booth and a chocolate fountain with a ton of strawberries poked with wooden sticks to the side.
I saw Melanie's entire family however I was surprised that Melanie's older brother hadn't shown up. Like at all. I also met a lot of new people who were very influential.
Brandon and I had slow danced to all the songs before Mel and Alessio decided to leave for their honeymoon. A destination only Alessio knew, and he wasn't willing to share it. I made Mel promise to call me as soon as she reached the place.
"You know someday that will be us in that position," Brandon said with a sigh.
I smiled, "I guess it will be."
"I'll make sure of it," Brandon said as he dropped me and a sleeping Lina at my apartment. He carried her all the way up the stairs and out her into my guest bedroom.
"I'm not tired," I admitted.
"Same here. The evening ended earlier than I anticipated," He said and I nodded in agreement when my eyes fell on a box.
"Want to play some Monopoly?" I asked with a huge grin on my face and Brandon nodded.
"Of course! Just don't cry when you lose Hayes," he said sticking his tongue out.
"You're the one who has the crying to worry about, Hawthorne," I said sticking my tongue out at him.
"You're such a three-year-old," Brandon said.
I rolled my eyes, "That's three years older than you!" I insisted.
"Very mature," He rolled his eyes.
"Don't roll your eyes too hard, you're not going to find a brain in there," I sophisticatedly informed him.
"Is this war?" He asked and I nodded, "You're so on Hayes!"
"May the best one win," I said feeling quite victorious.
"You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor threw you out the window but the window threw you back," Brandon fired.
"You're so fat that when you went bungee jumping in a yellow suit the people thought the sun was falling down!" I said.
"You're so fat that your belt is the size of the equator!" He insisted.
"The way you're so tall you play ping pong with the planets!" I told him and he smirked.
"The way you're so fat that Dora the explorer couldn't explore you!" He said.
"The way you're so fat that your belly always reaches three steps before you!" I told him cheekily.
"The way you're so fat, you need a GPS to find your belly button!" Brandon shot back.
"Shock me and say something intelligent," I told him with an eye roll.
"Did I see you on TV? Because I'm pretty sure it was on National Geographic - Animal edition!" Brandon told me.
"I'm not saying I hate you, but I would totally unplug your life supply to charge my phone," I threw back.
"You know mirrors don't talk and you're very lucky that they don't laugh either," Brandon said.
"Why don't you close your mouth and allow the hole in your face to heal!" I snapped.
"The way you're so ugly you made the devil go to church," Brandon said.
"The way you're so ugly that when the devil saw you he insisted you take his place," I told him.
"The way you're so ugly that when you looked in a mirror the glass broke." He said.
"The way your teeth are so yellow that when you smile the cars slow down," I said.
"The way you're so ugly, when you look at your reflection it punches you in the face," Brandon told me.
"I will smack you so hard that google won't be able to find you!" He said.
"The way your teeth are so skew, you can write perfect cursive with them," Brandon said.
"You bring everyone a lot of joy when you leave the room!"Â I told him.
"Somewhere in the world, a tree is tirelessly working so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology!" Brandon said.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. I was born beautiful, what the hell happened to you?" I said.
Brandon put his hands up in mock surrender, "I give up. You win!"
"I'm the winner! I'm the winner!" I called happily.
"Yes, you are!" He said.
"I'm the winner!"
"Now how about that game of Monopoly?" Brandon asked.
Hey Guys!
Phew! I really had to dig through my brain to find those insults. I hope you liked them or found them funny, either works for me. I thought that the scene was kind of cute but guess what!?
We didn't come up with a ship name for them!
Ashley + Brandon = ?
Put your suggestion in the comments and I'll mention them in the next update which is coming very soon!
Don't forget to comment (I respond to all of them in my spare time) and please don't forget to vote!
Thanks for reading, see you next update!