I'm not going to lie, Connecticut is definitely growing on me. It's hard not to fall in love with its serenity and beauty. Especially with the way that it looks right now. Molly and I picked up smoothies and are currently walking on the path alongside the water, and the view is pretty breathtaking.
"I still can't believe you're dating Jack Carrington," Molly says.
"Mol, we're not dating."
"You've been texting nonstop, and he's taking you out for dinner tonight."
"Dating implies that we've been out to multiple dinners. Tonight's our first dinner."
"Semantics...and I still can't believe what happened last night."
"Yeah, me too," I say, widening my eyes as I replay the scenario in my mind.
"Two guys fighting over you. I'm jealous."
"It's not like that, Mol," I laugh and she looks at me.
"You know if you like him, you can tell me. I promise I won't be mad."
"I don't know how I feel about Jack," I tell her.
Molly knows about the kiss, but nothing else besides that. Simply because I don't know how I completely feel. I know that I really like Jack, but investing emotions into someone like him could get complicated. Especially when that person investing the feelings is someone like me. I'm not like Jordana...not even close. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be like her, but I am privy to the fact that Jack and I are very different. He's had his whole life set up for him before he was born, where mine is nowhere near being even just a little bit figured out. Jack was right; there's a world that divides us. I'm not oblivious to that fact.
"I wasn't talking about Jack," Molly says and I can't help but squint my eyes at her. Until it finally clicks.
"You're talking about Henry?" I ask, and she bashfully nods.
"I don't like Henry as anything more than just a friend, Mol. I promise."
"Are you sure? Because if you do, I won't care."
"I'm one hundred percent sure." I look at her, but she doesn't say anything more. Instead, she's smiling at the ground, so I press. "Do you like him?"
"Me?" she points to herself, then chuckles. "No."
"Really?"
"Yeah," she says, but I can tell that she's lying just by the way she keeps her sight on the floor.
"Mol, you can tell me."
She finally brings her head up to look at me. "Define 'like'."
"Do you have feelings for Henry?"
"No," she says, pausing. "Ugh, yes. I don't know. Maybe."
"Why don't you tell him?"
"Why? So I can get rejected? Let me tell you something, Molly Davidson does not get rejected."
"Why do you assume that's what would happen?"
"Because I know that Henry doesn't like me. He could never."
"Molly..."
"Trust me, Stassie. He doesn't look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like how he looks at you."
"He doesn't look at me like anything. If he knew how you felt, maybe that would change the way he saw you."
"I don't know..."
I nudge her shoulder with mine. "You're the most confident girl that I know. Remember that when you tell him how you feel about him."
***
Jack's waiting for me in his car in my driveway, and the second that I step outside my house, he gets out and rounds the hood to get the door for me. I'm not caught off-guard by his manners. What I am caught off-guard by is his outfit. Don't get me wrong, he looks amazing, but he's dressed more casually than I am. Too casual for dinner, if you ask me. Then again, maybe I assumed we were going to a nicer restaurant when we could just be grabbing a slice of pizza or a burger.
"Hi," he says when I make it to him. He goes in to give me a kiss on the lips and the more he kisses me, the more I never want him to stop. His lips are soft and moisturized, and he's great at it. Effortless, yet passionate.
"Hi," I say back once I catch my breath. This all feels like a dream. The too-good-to-be-true kind, but I don't let that distract me from enjoying the present moment with him.
"You look beautiful," he tells me. I already felt good about my polka-dotted minidress, but hearing him call me 'beautiful' makes me feel even better about my outfit choice.
"Thanks," I smile before sliding into the car. I wait for Jack to get inside, and then ask, "So, where are we going for dinner?"
"Uh, slight change of plans," he says, buckling his seatbelt. "We're doing something better."
***
"Hell, no. No way. I'm not doing this."
"Yes, you are," Jack says, gently tugging me by the arm and in the direction of a building with a neon sign that reads Tunes and Tacos. The name is exactly what it sounds like: karaoke + Mexican food.
"I'm not singing. And, trust me, you don't want me to."
"I'm sure you have the voice of an angel."
"Yeah, I wouldn't hold your breath," I say as I try to resist his pull.
My stomach starts to churn the second that we enter the bar. This place is jam-packed. The room is kind of dark, and the main source of light comes from the big screen that's feeding off the lyrics to Journey's Don't Stop Believin'.
I continue to take in the room while Jack speaks with the hostess, and I notice a bunch of waiters serving beers and tacos to guests sitting on high-top wooden tables as they watch some guy with a mohawk jarringly belt out the song.
"Okay, follow me," Jack excitedly says, intertwining our fingers and leading us into the room. I'm so nervous that I use my free hand to latch onto the top part of his arm.
We stop in front of a high-top table that's smack in the center of the room, so I glance around the area and try to find an alternative. "How about that table? The one in the back?"
"We might as well sit outside," he jokes. "This table is prime. You get to see all the action."
"Yeah, I'd rather not," I mutter under my breath.
We take a seat, and I immediately pick up the laminated menu. I don't want to rush the night, but the faster we're out of here, the better.
The waitress comes over and asks us what we want to drink, and Jack looks at me to go first. "A coke, please. Thanks."
"I'll have the same," Jack says.
The waitress walks away and Jack reaches across the table to take my hand in his. "So, what are we singing tonight?"
"You're cute when you're delusional. Not 'we', Jack, sweetie. You."
"Stas, a duet requires two people," he cutely smiles, knowing how much that expression of his makes me go weak at the knees.
"Good thing a solo doesn't..."
"Stas, when was the last thing you did something for the first time?"
"Ugh, don't go all Ghandi on me right now."
That gets him to laugh. "I'm just trying to encourage you to step outside your comfort zone."
"You got me here. I'd say mission accomplished."
He skews his lips at me. "Whatever you're imaging in your head right now...what if it turned out to be better? What if you got up there, sang one of your favorite songs, and had the best time of your life?"
"What ifs don't matter."
"Of course they do. They can easily be realities."
"Jack..."
"I'll be right there with you. Right by your side."
I think about what he's saying and even though I'm scared, I gulp and give in. "You promise?"
"I promise."
Once that's settled, Jack orders a bunch of food for the table, but I'm too nervous to put even a morsel of it in my mouth.
The hostess walks to the stage, a microphone in her grip, and scans the room. "Okay. Any other takers in the room for karaoke?"
Jack peers at me and I nervously look back at him. He nods his head, waiting for me to nod mine, and then I do, so he raises his hand. The hostess points to us and then goes, "The guy in the white short-sleeve. You're up."
Jack stands up and I slowly push my chair out. He comes over to me and takes my hand in his, bringing it to his lips and kissing the center of my hand. "You got this," he assures me.
He walks us to the stage as the strangers around us start to clap and I keep my eyes looking down. Maybe if I keep them closed, this whole thing won't be as hard.
We had already decided that we were going to sing I Got You Babe by Sonny and Cher. It was Jack's idea. He claimed the words are really fitting. I guess they are.
The song starts to play and I let a deep breath out. The first verse is supposed to be sung together, but I panic and let Jack do the honors alone. He sings the words like a champ, and surprisingly, in tune.
The chorus then comes on and he keeps his blue eyes laser-focused on me as he sings "Babe. I got you babe, I got you babe." It does make me feel better. It makes me realize that maybe if I just look at him, and only him, it'll be like we're the only two people in the room.
From the first day that I met him, Jack lent this comfortability, and it still holds true, if not more true now that I've really gotten to know him.
So, when the second verse comes on, I'm all in.
And before I know it, Jack and I are singing together, and the whole room is clapping with us.
By the end of the song, I'm so into it, and feel a huge smile form on my face. Jack's smiling at me with the same exact excitement. He was right about comfort zones, but I couldn't have done this without him. I wouldn't have wanted to.