I walk into my house but not before wiping the tears from my face. I don't want to concern my dad with my appearance.
Dad's in the kitchen, hovering over the stove, mixing something in a saucepan when I enter the room.
"Hey," I say. I'm trying my hardest to sound as peppy as possible, but I'm struggling.
Dad looks over his shoulder and then says, "Hi, honey."
"Got a second?"
"Yeah. Yeah. Of course," he says, clearly not expecting the question, but at the same time, eager to talk. He turns the stove off and then removes the kitchen towel from his shoulder, placing it down on the counter. I take a seat at the table and dad walks over to me, taking a seat as well. "What's going on?"
"I wanted to apologize for the way that I've been acting toward you lately. There's no excuse for it other than the fact that I was hurt by you inviting Lisa over without a warning. I know that your intentions were good, but this is my life and I get a say in who I want in it."
"Oh, honey, I know," dad says, reaching his hand over mine and covering it with his. "I'm so sorry. I was selfish and failed to see my actions through. I just thought that reconnecting with Lisa could be something you wanted if the opportunity was there. But instead of asking you, I made an assumption. I never want you to think that your feelings aren't important to me or that I'm going behind your back. My number one responsibility in this world as a father is to protect you and your happiness, and the last thing I would ever want is for you to be placed in a situation that jeopardizes that."
"I know, dad. And I love you for always looking out for me. You've been doing it since the day that I was born, and I'm forever grateful. But I don't know what the future holds for me and Lisa. I don't even know if I'll ever want a relationship with her. The only thing that I do know is that I'll confidently make the decision because it'll be the right decision for me."
"And I'll always support you. I guess I was scared of you regretting not having her in your life. I don't want you to ever feel like you've missed out on that kind of love."
"But I don't feel that way. My life is full of more love than I could ever know. Thanks to you."
My dad smiles and that's when I start to tear up. Because I know that he believes my words, and it's so important to me that he does.
"Mine is, too," he says. "Thanks to you."
***
I feel a bit relieved the next day knowing that my dad and I talked things out, but Molly's been avoiding me and every time Henry approaches, I feel like I'm the one who needs to do the avoiding.
"Hey, Mol," I say, walking up to her and Peyton at her locker, but all she does is ignore me.
"I'll see you later, Peyton," Molly says, slamming her locker shut and walking away.
I try again at lunch, but the second that I get to the table, Molly balls up her napkin, pushes her tray to the center, and stands up.
So, after school, I decide to head to her house. I knock on her front door, and she answers it. She's about to close it in my face when I stop it with my hand.
"3 minutes, that's all I need."
"How about 3 seconds?"
"Molly."
"Time's up," she says, slamming the door in my face, but that doesn't stop me from screaming over it.
"Molly, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that Henry almost kissed me. You have to know that I would never do anything to hurt or betray you. That's why I stopped him before anything could happen. My mind wasn't even there that day. All I was thinking about was Jack." I wait before saying more, hoping that she'll answer the door, but she doesn't, so I eventually continue. "I'll do anything to make it up to you. Your friendship is what saved me at this school and I'm entirely grateful for it. I'm sorry. Truly. I hope you can forgive me."
I stand outside her door for a few more seconds, but nothing happens, so I head for my bike that's parked in front of her driveway and make my way back home.
I'm walking my bike toward the steps of my house when I spot Henry standing in front of my front door.
"Henry?" I call out, and he turns around to look at me.
"Ah, you weren't home. Makes sense now."
"How long were you waiting out here for?"
He looks at the watch on his wrist and then chuckles embarrassingly as he scratches his head. "Uh, like 10 minutes."
"10 minutes? I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I should be the one apologizing for showing up unannounced. I can leave if you're busy."
"Everything okay?" I ask since he appears somewhat nervous.
"I just came here to say sorry for what happened the other day. On the track field."
I look at him and press my lips together. "Look, Henry, you shouldn't be here. Molly's already not speaking to me."
"I know. She won't answer any of my calls."
"Yeah, she's really mad."
"Shit," he mutters under his breath as he looks down at the floor. "I don't get why she's so upset."
"She never spoke to you about how she was feeling?"
"No," he states, and then appears curious. "Feeling? Feeling about what?"
"Uh. It's not my place to say. I think you should talk to her."
"I'm trying, Stassie."
"Maybe try a little harder?" I softly suggest with a shrug.
"Yeah. I guess I can do that." I slowly nod as I keep silent and he looks at me. "Listen, Stassie, I'm not going to apologize for kissing you. It's something that I've wanted to do since I met you. But I am going to apologize for how it made you and Molly feel. The last thing that I ever want to do is hurt either one of you."
"I know," I half-smile. "Thank you, Henry."
"Jack's a lucky guy."
I chuckle. "Yeah, I don't know if I'd say that anymore."
"What? Why?"
"I'm not sure we're meant to be."
Henry gazes at me and then says, "I don't know if you actually believe that."
"Doesn't really matter what we believe, does it? Life's going to happen the way that it's supposed to regardless."
"Well, what's life without some sort of hope?" he challenges, offering me a soft smile and a shrug. "I'll see you later, Stassie."