Mr. Herberg was already staring at me and Jonah when we got into the classroom. He had this somewhat weird anticipating smile on his face, and his eyes never stopped trailing us until we were both seated comfortably at our desks.
Alright. I got why a lot of girls in this class were attracted to him. Gross, I knew that, but he was good looking. But at the same time... this man could be creepy as hell.
I glanced at Jonah nervously, only to find that he was already looking at me, his forehead knitted in confusion. I looked away and then realized that some other kids were also staring at us expectantly, though it was hard to determine what expression it was that was on their faces.
"So..." he started, "You two were both absent last Friday."
"Yeah... I was sick," I said slowly. Then his gaze shifted to Jonah.
"I took her home," he said calmly.
"Right, I was informed about that," Mr. Herberg responded with a nod.
There was a pause. "Um, we're sorry?" I said unsurely.
The guy laughed and waved it off. "No, you're not in trouble because you got sick. However, everyone in this class is already married," he said, gesturing to the people around me, "and you both are not."
He hopped out of his chair, his palm slightly slapping the surface of his desk.
"Let's get you two married today so we could move on to the next part of the project. Come up here, you guys."
I looked at Jonah before standing up, and he gave me a little shrug, so we both stood up and walked toward our teacher's desk. We stood in front of the class, standing side to side in silence, waiting for our teacher's instruction. After all, we both weren't here when the "wedding ceremony" was held last Friday, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do here.
"Do you guys have your vows ready?" We both nodded. "Alright. The ceremony will be very simple. You're just gonna say your vows, exchange the rings, and then I'll pronounce you husband and wife." We both nodded again. "Okay. Jonah, you can start with the vow. Everyone, please hold your conversations and be silent."
Jonah gave our teacher a little nod before clearing his throat. He took out a paper from his jeans pocket, and he slightly shifted his weight from one leg to another. I noticed his fingers playing with the edges of the paper, and I realized that he was actually nervous. He took a few deep breath, before speaking in a low, steady voice.
"I, Jonathan Flynn Gibbs, take you, Hannah I-don't-know-your-middle-name Taylorsâ" I stifled a chuckle and he paused to glare at me before returning his expression to neutral, "âto be my life partner, my best friend, my wife; the one I will share the rest of today until forever with."
All the laughter died in my throat, and I could only stand there in complete silence. He wouldn't meet my eyes.
He continued, this time a little bit quieter, his eyes focused on what was written on the piece of paper in his hand, "I will give you my heart, my mind, and my soul to you, and be the best version of who I am for you.
"I promise to respect you; to accept you along with your best flaws, and I hope you can accept me as who I am, too. I promise to be there to protect you, to give you comfort, through the beautiful and the ugly, through the rainbow and the rainstorm, for as long as we both shall live."
He let out a breath once he was finished with his vow, folding the paper and stuffing it back into his pocket, and hesitating for a few seconds before looking up.
The room was in full silence, as if everyone was holding their breath along with me. It could have just been my ears playing tricks on me, but I could swear that I heard some sniffling.
Jonah's face was red as tomato, while mine was pale as paper.
My heart felt like it was jumping around erratically inside my chest, and my breath felt heavy as his vow repeated itself inside my brain. I felt like I could burst out into tears any secondâit felt like I was watching my aunt's wedding, where I cried buckets with a big smile on my face when she was kissing his newly wedded husband.
"Hannah," Mr. Herberg spoke after I drowned myself in silence, "it's your turn now," he said slowly. I nodded at him, reaching into my own pocket to take out my paper.
I skimmed through the words, feeling my heart falling when I realized that my half-assed attempt on my vow for Jonah was goddamn pale in comparison to his own. I couldn't use this piece of shit as my vowâI couldn't. It wouldn't be fair to his effort, to his beautifully worded vow that gathered tears in my eyes (that I thankfully managed to push down).
So I swallowed heavily and crumpled the paper in my grasp, and then I took a long deep breath.
"I, Johanna Mary Taylors, take you, Jonathan Flynn Gibbs," I paused to swallow again, "to be my life partner, my best friend, my husband; the one I will share the rest of today until forever with."
I could tell that it surprised Jonah that I remembered the first line of his vow, and it sort of surprised me too.
"I promise to help create a life that we can cherish, to share all the laughter and the joyful tears with you. I promise to take care of you, to stay with you, and to grow old with you, through sickness and health, through the rich and the poor, through the sad and the happy.
"I vow to be honest, to share my fears, my secrets, and my dreams with you, as long as you trust me to share yours with me. I vow to... love you... as the person that you are and not who I want you to be, during the brightest and the darkest days..." I took a deep breath, "... for as long as we both shall live."
Everything seemed to be at pause, until Jonah's eyes met mine, with an undecipherable look in them. I realized that my spontaneous vow was still nowhere as beautiful as his, and my face flushed pink in embarrassment.
"That was," Mr. Herberg's voice broke me out of my reverie, and I turned around to see him with unshed tears in his eyes. Oh, god. "That was beautiful," he finished slowly, as if he was in awe. "I see you two have been working hard on your vows. Well done."
Jonah and I nodded, refusing to meet each other's eyes.
"I wish I had said all that during my own wedding ceremony," Mr. Herberg continued, almost in awe, but the whole class heard and there was a collectible gasp from the girls in the classroom.
"You're... you're married?" one kid dared to ask, to which Mr. Herberg replied with a big grin.
"Why yes, to my beautiful wife, the love of my life. We're expecting a baby, in fact. It's why doing this project with you guys is so exciting for me!" he announced proudly. "But enough about me and my love life. Let these two kids exchange their rings, shall we?"
He then proceeded to take something out from the drawer of his desk, and then stood in the middle of Jonah and I with his palm open, revealing two matching cheap faux-silver band.
"These are the only rings left. I hope they fit somehow," he said. I took the larger ring while Jonah took the smaller one, and we both took a breath. "Jonah, you first."
I felt Jonah's eyes falling on me for a split second before he looked down to my hand. I took out the engagement ring and moved it to my right hand, and then I slowly held out my left hand to Jonah.
Carefully, he took my hand. The hold he had on my hand was light and loose, and it almost felt like our skin wasn't touching at all, just a ghost of the presence of his warmth over my fingers. His hold tightened just slightly when he slowly slipped the ring into my ring finger. The ring was slightly loose as it was a bigger size than my ring size, but it didn't feel like it was about to fall off, so it was fine. His thumb stayed there for a few seconds, until he lightly brushed it over the top of my finger. He then retracted his hand from mine.
It was his turn to hold out his hand, and I took it in mine. I did the same; slipping the ring into his finger, and it surprisingly fit there perfectly. I immediately dropped my hold on his hand before I resorted to doing something pretty embarrassing, like holding onto it for too long.
I could hear the smile in Mr. Herberg's voice even without looking at his face. "Well, now that it's all said and done; without further ado, I pronounce you husband and wife."
Jonah and I nodded awkwardly, preparing to shoot back into our chair, until our teacher added,
"You may kiss the bride."
I blanched. "Seriously?" I said, looking at him with a I'm-so-not-amused look on my face.
He shrugged at me, his eyes glinting mischievously. "Everyone did kiss last Friday. You two were just not here to see it."
I rolled my eyes. "Oh, wow. Such a shame that we weren't here to see kids making out in front of the classroom. For a full hour," I told him sarcastically, in which he replied with a click of his tongue.
"Come on, don't be a prude!" a kid from the back of the class yelled, and I shot him a glare.
It wasn't long until the whole class chanted the same word all over again, and I could feel my whole face, up to my ears, reddening in complete mortification. The look on Jonah's face wasn't all that too different, as his own face was scarlet.
This cannot be happening!
For the first time since the vow, Jonah's eyes met with mine, and we both looked at each other with the same unsure look in our eyes. Finally, I saw him nod with slight irritation, and then he took a step closer to me.
Holy shit.
I stayed on my ground, unmoving. Our faces slowly got closer as we both leaned into each otherâhe was leaning down while I was slightly tilting my head upwards, and then we just paused when our faces was just about a mere inch in distance, our eyelids slowly sliding shut.
And then I abruptly leaned back, taking everyoneâincluding myselfâby surprise. Jonah's eyes opened the same time mine did, and I didn't miss the look of complete relief in his face for not having to smooch my lips.
"Yeah... no," I said, crossing my arms in front of my chest. Jonah nodded in agreement while taking two steps back, sighing to himself.
Ouch. My ego.
The class booed in disappointment, but I just rolled my eyes at them and then turned to glare at our chuckling teacher.
"Alright, alright. I was just joking anyway. Nobody kissed yesterday. You two may go back to your seats now that you're lawfully fake-married. I have some lesson to teach so settle down, children!"
[]
I twirled the straw in the tall glass, letting the whipped cream slowly dissolve into the cappuccino. My other hand, my left hand, was tapping absentmindedly on the table as my eyes skimmed over the slowly blurring words on my Chemistry textbook. The ring, though undoubtedly fake, seemed like it was abnormally glowing on my finger. My right hand detached itself from the straw I'd been holding and took the pen from the table before hurryingly scribbling down the words onto the sheet. With a sigh of satisfaction, I leaned back, happy that I possibly got the answer right.
I fixed the glasses on my nose, scowling at the discomfort. This was exactly why I loathed wearing glasses. It felt heavy and ticklish on my nose. Thankfully, my eyesight wasn't that bad, so I only had to wear glasses whenever I had to work harder to concentrate. My eyes tend to start getting blurry an hour into intense reading, and it would make my head hurt.
I took off the glasses, slowly putting it down on the table as I pinched the bridge of my nose. I cracked my neck slightly to relieve the tension, and then closed my books and putting them all into my backpack.
I checked the time on my phone, seeing that it was nearly seven o'clock, which meant that I had spent too many hours in the diner drinking Jonah's caffeinated beverages and hurting my brain with Chemistry. I glanced expectantly at the door to my dad's small office, wondering why he hadn't come out yet. Usually, around this time, he was already done with whatever it was he always did during these hours in his officeâI never really askedâand then he would drive home with me.
Then I snuck a glance at Jonah, whose forehead was knitted in concentration as he listened to an order by an older woman. I quickly looked away once I started to feel warmth creeping up onto my cheeks, my brain reminding me about the almost-kiss incident earlier during Life Skills.
At the same time Rob arrived to take over Jonah's place in the small café-like part of the diner, my father came out of his office, scratching the back of his neck. His eyes widened when he saw me, before his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"What're you doing here, sweetheart?" he said, kissing the side of my head.
"I was just finishing some school work and I was hoping I could hitch a ride with you?" I asked hopefully.
He sighed apologetically. "I forgot to tell you, but there are still a bunch of paperwork I have to do. I could do it at home, but I was already halfway done in the office. I won't be going home until around nine though."
"Oh," I said with a grimace.
"You could wait for me if you want," he offered.
"I could drive her home," a voice chimed in, and to my surprise, I saw Jonah standing behind my dad with a small smile for my dad; his apron gone and replaced with his usual hoodie. "If she wants."
Dad's face immediately brightened. He'd grown fond of Jonah ever since he found out that he was the "friend" who'd taken me home when I was sick last week, so he was pretty pleased by Jonah's offer. I wouldn't be surprised if he had added a rise in Jonah's paycheck already by now. "Of course, of course. Hannah, what do you say?"
I glanced back and forth between Jonah and Dad, before finally nodding. "Alright, I'll go with Jonah."
Dad ruffled my hair and said to both of us, "Be careful, drive safe, alright?" Then he turned to me. "I'll be home in about two hours."
"Sure, Dad. See ya," I said, waving at him before turning around to follow Jonah toward his car.
The way home was silenceâit was literally all just "business". He was taking me home and that was it. No small talks, no anything. We never did bring up the almost-kissâfrankly, I wouldn't even know what to say if we did talk about it. He did, though, turn on the music after five minutes of silence, the soft sound filling the air.
I recognized the song right away, and a small smile formed on my face as I started to hum along to the lyrics. My chest filled with warmth and a little bit of a pinching feeling as I closed my eyes and leaned into my seat.
"You know this song?" Jonah asked.
"Who doesn't?" I replied without glancing at him. "Probably the best song ever."
"Mm."
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
"Are you crying?"
I touched my dry cheeks. "I'm not."
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
"It looks like you're about to," he commented. I opened my eyes and stared at him flatly.
"You're seeing things that don't exist."
He shrugged at me, before letting the song play through until he pulled up in my driveway. I unbuckled my seatbelt and grabbed my bag from the backseat, and then paused for a while.
"Thank you," I said sincerely.
He nodded at me.
I got out of the car and he rolled his window down. "Drive safe, hubby," I quipped.
He rolled his eyes at me, but there was a hint of a smile on his face. "Sleep tight, wifey," he remarked mockingly, before finally driving away.
There was a small smile on my face, even until I had changed into my pajamas and my hair in a messy ponytail. Slowly, though, my whole energy felt like it was leaving me as I lay down on my bed, the faint echo of the song in Jonah's car coming back to haunt me.
I grabbed my iPod from my bedside table, frantically scrolling through until I found the same song. I put my earphones in and eased back into my bed, my eyes closing as the song played out inside my ears.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now
With tears in my eyes, I unplugged the earphones from my ears. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand as I took my phone and dialed a number that I knew by heart. It went straight to voicemail.
"So it seems like I'm nowhere near my phone right now," the familiar voice remarked in a playful tone, "and I'm sorry about that. But I will get back to you if you leave a message after the beep. Beep. No, that's not the real beep. Here's the real beep."
Beep.
"Hey," I choked out, my chest feeling tight as the second ticked by. "I miss you, Tony. I wish I could talk to you..."