Chapter 5: 4. i'm sorry

DarlingWords: 16436

Monday

The ranch woke up with a chill that morning. Sure the seasons were slowly changing and spring was settling in, but it was deeper than that. Spencer Dutton woke up with a grudge that Monday morning, and she was more than willing to share the hate she was feeling with everyone else. Even Beth was steering clear of the girl after a run in in the hallway. It seemed the only person brave enough to face her wrath today was Lloyd.

"What's got you all worked up, Buck?"

Spencer didn't acknowledge the older man, just kept adjusting her tack.

"Wouldn't happen to involve a certain brown-haired foreman who looks like he's got his tail tucked between his legs?"

That got a reaction from Spencer, a flick of a smirk appeared almost as quickly as it cleared her face. Lloyd had the pair figured out ages ago, but was respectful enough to keep it hidden, not wanting to spook them. It seemed now was the time for spooking, however.

"You knew?"

"Oh you two are not as slick as you think you are," Lloyd laughed as he clapped Spencer's shoulder lightly, "But a little romance is good for the bones."

Spencer rolled her eyes but chuckled at the man. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"It's alright Buck, I've had my fair share of secrets. I understand the appeal. But what's going on? He's been looking at you longer than normal today."

"He slept with Beth."

"Did you see them?"

Spencer look of disgust caused Lloyd to chuckle. "You realize there may be more to that story right? I swear it's like you two were raised in a barn."

Spencer dead-panned at the white-haired man before pointing, a smile creeping onto her face. "You're not funny." Although she couldn't help but chuckle at the joke.

Off in the distance, Spencer caught Rip's eye, who immediately looked away when he had been caught. She turned back to Lloyd and shook her head.

"I don't want to deal with that right now."

"That's fine Buck, but you're gonna have to soon."

She only nodded, about to mount Rebel when she saw a very familiar truck pulling down the driveway. What the hell was Kayce doing here? Spencer waited until Kayce parked, watching as both doors opened and Tate came running toward her.

"Auntie Spence!" Tate yelled as he ran, jumping into her arms like he had the other day. Kayce smiled at his son's antics, surprised the boy was more excited to see his aunt than his grandfather who was approaching.

"Kayce what's going on?" Spencer asked as she walked back over with Tate on her back.

"Monica is at school and I have some stuff to do," He started as he turned to John, "Can I leave him here for a little? Shouldn't be too long."

John nodded, ruffling Tate's hair causing him to squirm out of Spencer's arms and take off to the horses. Spencer smiled, using the chance to give her twin brother a hug.

"Never thought I'd see the day you came back to the ranch Squirt," she laughed as she stepped back.

"There's a lot going on Tiny," Kayce started, looking everywhere but his sister. It was something he did when he didn't want to tell her something. The twin telepathy was strong between the two of them it seemed.

"I won't push, don't worry. Just take care of your shit quick, it won't be good if Tate's here with everything going on tonight."

John had finally gotten the approval from the governor to take the livestock agents down to where the ranch met the reservation to get the cattle back that had wandered through the broken fence. Kayce was already having enough problems on the reservation, that much Spencer knew; and leaving his son here during that standoff would not end well for him. Kayce nodded, hugging his sister once again before heading back to the truck and leaving. Spencer walked over to Tat, watching him watch Rebel.

"Wanna go for a ride Tater Tot?" she hollered over, laughing as the young boy's head bounced up and down aggressively at the idea.

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Kayce came back just before the livestock agents were about to leave, sending him zooming home with a tuckered out Tate in the passenger seat. When he caught sight of the agent's vest strapped onto his sister, he knew he had to get home to help and fast.

Spencer brushed her hand over Rebel's nose, keeping her horse steady as she loaded up her firearms. A shotgun in the shoot on her saddle and a pistol on each hip, plus the knife she always had attached to her belt. It may have been excessive, but the growing pit of dread in her stomach made it feel necessary. She loaded her horse, nodding at Ryan who was next to her. He seemed to share the same concern as he double and triple checked his gear. Once the rest of the livestock agents were ready, they took off to the hole in the fence.

The ride was quiet, everyone's adrenaline rising as they neared the edge of the ranch that lined the reservation. To no one's surprise some of the men from the reservation were already there. Spencer stayed just behind Lee, letting him lead the way and hold the stand off. It had grown dark during the ride, but the agents knew that John would be flying overhead soon. Sure enough, the thumping of the wind grew louder until the helicopter was right above them, shining a spotlight on the fence. It sent a number of the men on the reservation running, although one remained. He began to shoot at the helicopter, even though he wasn't in range.

Livestock agents who had arrived on quads started to fire back, much to the displeasure of all the Duttons.

"Hold your fire!" Both Lee and Spencer were yelling as Lee dismounted his horse and handed him off to Ryan. The lights of the reservation police lit up the scene as gun fire started to be exchanged on both sides. Spencer ducked, sending Rebel forward to try and get some of the cows back. The call came over the radio to abandon the field, but Spencer wasn't going to leave any of her family's cows behind.

Spencer watched in shock as she saw Kayce trying to wrangle some of the cows back to the reservation. She flicked a spur into Rebel's side, sending the horse off faster and straight for her brother. That was when Kayce saw her, dread filling his stomach as she came closer and closer. He bailed at the last minute, letting her wrangle the rest of the herd back to the Yellowstone, which pissed off his brother-in-law.

Robert switched tactics, firing at the Dutton girl rather than the helicopter. Keeping Rebel steady, Spencer pulled her own pistol and fired back, close enough to cause the man to duck and for her to get away with the rest of the livestock agents.

Spencer was about a quarter of the way back to the ranch when her gut feeling exploded, stopping her in her tracks. Ryan paused, looking at the girl who had a scared look on her face. Before he could stop her she took off in the other direction, back to the broken fence. In her gut, Spencer felt a pull back to where the firefight had occurred, something was telling her Kayce was in trouble. There were a number of people that came across the Dutton twins that didn't believe in the twin telepathy idea, until they met Kayce and Spencer that is. It was always subtle, the one picking up on the other's emotions. But it seemed like it grew to where they would know when the other was in trouble or lying. And it was instances like these where Kayce wasn't entirely sure he was happy with his sister knowing him like the back of her hand.

He heard her scream before he looked up, sure she was terrified of the predicament in front of him. Kayce stood over his brother-in-law, five bullets fired into his chest. He hadn't even realized he had done it until he heard Spencer. Kayce had just reacted, watching as Robert shot at Lee, taking the eldest Dutton down with a well-placed shot. Spencer hopped off Rebel and started running down to Kayce, checking him for any wounds of his own before rushing to Lee.

Lee laid on the ground where he had fallen at the impact of the shot. He knew his time was fading, felt it slipping away. But still he smiled at his two youngest siblings as Spencer laid his head in her lap. Both twins had tears in their eyes, they knew it wouldn't be long.

"You take care of each other," Lee whispered, coughing at the exertion it took, "Dad's gonna need the two of you to step up."

Spencer smiled as she laughed a little, a few tears falling. "Anything for you Big Brother. Love you."

Lee smiled at his siblings once more, before letting his mind drift off. Kayce leaned over, closing his eyes before standing. He knew he had to get Spencer home first, let her ease the blow before he brought Lee back. But he gave her a moment, letting the pain ease long enough to stand and wipe her tears. The twins hugged, Spencer heading back to the top of the hill, grabbing the reins of Lee's horse before mounting Rebel and heading back to the house.

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Rip was doing his best to not look too worried as he waited on the porch for Spencer to come back. He knew the confrontation at the reservation turned into a firefight, but it didn't seem like anyone had been hurt. Ryan had come back without Spencer, which wasn't usual as they tended to stick together when the livestock agents had confrontation.

"She went back before I could stop her, sir," Ryan had informed John an hour or so before, "Didn't say anything, just turned Rebel around and booked it."

So now Rip waited on the front porch with John, shotguns in hand just to be safe as they waited for Spencer and Lee to return. It was just after midnight when Spencer got back, and what the men saw made them scared. Spencer rode up to the house, the lead to Lee's horse still in her hand, and blood coating her stomach and legs, dried and caking to her arms as well. Both Rip and John took off toward the girl, concerned the blood was her own. Rip reached her first, taking the lead to Lee's horse and pulling her off of Rebel, looking over every inch of her.

"You alright Darlin'?" He whispered his question as he wiped at the dried blood, finally stopping when his worry was satisfied at the sight of no injuries. "What happened?"

Spencer only shook her head, tears welling in her eyes as she thought of Lee again. She turned to Rip, gripping onto him tightly as her tears began to fall. Rip and John looked at each other, concerned as Spencer's sobs grew when Rip put his arms around her.

"Tiny," John approached carefully, "Where's Lee?"

He waited, already feeling the answer sticking to the back of his throat. The answer was becoming clearer the longer John looked at the picture in front of him. But still he waited, praying to just about everything and everyone under the sun that Lee was alive.

"I-I'm sorry Daddy," Spencer spoke, shaky from the crying,"I had a bad feeling and I w-went back and when I-I got there Lee was on the ground and Kayce-"

"Is Kayce okay?"

Spencer nodded vigorously before continuing, "It was hi-his brother-in-law. Daddy, he shot Lee."

"Where's Lee?" Rip whispered, trying to keep Spencer calm as he rubbed her arm. Spencer only shook her head again as she looked down to the dried blood on her arms. "What happened Spence?"

"I don't know, I didn't see anything."

John paused, pulling his hat from his head and rubbing down his face. "It's alright, Tiny, you're alright. Rip take her and get her cleaned up, I'll deal with the horses."

Rip nodded, guiding the redhead to the house. He carefully pulled Spencer into the kitchen, grabbing a towel and wetting it to clean the blood from her arms first. Then he pulled the velcro securing her vest, taking it off and putting it to the side.

"I'm sorry," Spencer whispered to Rip as she watched him wipe the blood from her arms.

"You don't ever have to tell me sorry, Darlin'. Ain't anything to be sorry for anyway, okay?"

Spencer nodded, leaning into the hand Rip had on her face as he held her hair back. She followed as Rip walked upstairs. She was still pissed at him, at what he did. But right now she just wanted to be held by him. Rip sat her on the edge of the bed, unsure of what to do next, he paused for a moment but then turned to walk away.

"Stay."

Rip turned back, unsure if he had heard her right. Less than 48 hours ago she was trying to beat him senseless. Spencer patted the spot next to her, a pleading look in her eyes. Rip nodded, sitting next to her and letting her fall into his arms.

"I'm here," he whispered. He pulled her tighter as he felt her start to shake with tears. "I'm here."

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In the morning when Spencer woke up, Rip wasn't there. At first she was disheartened, but then she remembered she was supposed to hate him. Spencer sat up in bed, working through the events of the night before. Was there anything she could've done differently? If she had just waited for Lee maybe... She shook her head, trying to shake the worry and what-if's from her brain. He wouldn't want her to do that.

Instead she rose from the bed, deciding the only effort required for today was jeans and a big sweatshirt. Spencer then wandered downstairs, grabbing the last bit of coffee from the pot in her mug. Outside the ranch was active, but for all the wrong reasons. Jamie was running around, getting Kayce's statement and dealing with the police while Beth helped with damage control. Seeing as Spencer was neither lawyer nor politician material, she sat on the steps, watching everything unfold. It was then that Rip joined her, leaning against the post of the stairs as he looked down to her. She smiled, but he could see it didn't reach her eyes

"How ya doing Darlin'?"

Spencer looked up, squinting into the sun to look at him. "As good as I can be I guess. Thanks for staying last night."

Rip nodded, looking around before sitting down next to the redhead.

"Can we talk? Please?"

Spencer didn't respond, looking at the coffee in her mug. She knew they needed to speak, that she needed to hear what he had to say. But right now, she didn't have the energy to think about it.

"Not right now, please. I, I can't focus on all this grief."

Rip nodded, placing his hand on her knee, waiting until she looked at him before responding. "I'm here for you Darlin'. And I got nothing but the rest of my days to talk to you when you're ready, alright?"

Spencer blushed, flabbergasted at what Rip said. She tried to open her mouth and say something, but nothing came out. She nodded aggressively, unsure of what to say. Rip smiled, patting her knee before heading off to deal with the mess before them.

"I need to get your statement, Tiny," Jamie announced as he walked up to the pair on the steps, oblivious to the conversation they were having. Spencer nodded, standing up to follow her brother off and away from the house.

"I need to know everything, exactly as it happened, okay?"

"I didn't actually see anything, just everything that happened after."

"So you didn't see Robert shoot Lee, unprovoked, resulting in Kayce having to provide self-defense for his brother?" Jamie asked, Spencer picking up on the leading question she was being asked. "I need you to be absolutely sure in your answer, Spence."

Spencer nodded before responding, "Yes that's what happened. Robert shot at Lee, and Kayce acted to defend him. Kayce told me he had been asked by Robert to be there, if that helps."

Jamie nodded, thanking his sister before heading back over to Beth and their father. Once again Spencer was alone, looking over the fields until she saw Kayce sitting off in the distance, barely visible above the high grass he was sitting in. She walked over, sitting next to him but not saying anything. The twins sat in silence for a few minutes until Kayce spoke up.

"You okay?"

"Not at all," she faded off for a moment, not wanting to deal with her brother's opinion on the matter. "You?"

Kayce sighed, shaking his head as he stood to leave. All he felt was guilt, guilt for his family, guilt for his wife. Spencer could feel it washing over her brother, but there was nothing she could do for him. In reality she was pissed. Livid, actually. She knew if Kayce hadn't been there, she could've wrangled the herd faster, gotten Lee out of there. But the only option she had to live with was the one her brother chose.

Maybe tomorrow would be better.