Chapter 20: CHAPTER TWENTY - CITRUS & PEPPERMINT

The light of spring’s dawn streamed through the curtains in a hue of pale gold and grey, air still as if holding its breath. Cassien lay beneath the heavy covers, body sunken and eyes shut, lulled in by the allure of sleep and the sweet scent of oranges mixed with honey just beneath him. A mound of warmth pressed into his chest, curling around his waist in a comforting squeeze.

Naomi’s breaths were slow and even, a rare peace as of lately that kept her drowned in deep slumber. She felt something heavy and warm nestled in the space between her jaw and shoulder - hot and tickling - a soft moan of content escaping her lips as she nestled further into the cocoon of sturdiness. She felt the presence stir, gripping protectively - almost possessively - around her hips as her body was pulled inwards, as if she could get any closer. Her senses were entirely filled with something masculine and irresistible, like the smell of peppermint and musk.

Peppermint and musk?

Her eyes cracked open ever so slightly, lashes fluttering as she braced for the glare of morning light, only to find herself held against Cassien in an intimate embrace. Naomi’s heart lurched as she realized the entanglement of their limbs with one other, Cassien’s head resting against the hollow of her neck, and all too aware of his arms pressed firmly around her width. Panic and mortification bloomed simultaneously, but her body remained frozen beneath their affectionate hold - too stunned, too shy, and all too relished in the unexpected comfort of their closeness.

Finally, she tugged back slightly, but his hold around her was locked. “Cassien…”

He shifted slightly at her voice, but his eyes remained closed as his squeeze grew tighter.

Naomi felt a lump form in her throat at his words as she shifted her body again, more forcefully. “Cassien, you need to wake up.”

His brow furrowed, body stiffening as consciousness crept in, eyes still heavy with sleep - until the realization of her body against his hit him with full force. He broke their clutch quickly and where her skin had met his touch suddenly felt cold. Cassien’s gaze darted away as he sat upright, legs swinging over the bed, focused on anything but the rose of her cheeks. His heart hammered with equal parts frustration and the desperate longing to stay as they were, not even daring to meet her eyes - afraid that just a split second of vulnerability would reveal everything he was trying to suppress. The ache of wanting, despite having reason that it would only ever end in pain, gnawed at him like a dangerous craving.

“…So much for distance, huh?” She forced a weak smile in an attempt to defuse the silence. “It was probably my fault. I get cold at night easily.”

He let out a deep exhale, standing to face her. “The fault is with me. Excuse me, I have to go.”

Without waiting for a response, he moved towards the door in a hurried exit. Naomi’s breath caught in her throat, eyes wide as she watched him wordlessly. She wanted to say something, but the words tangled up in her throat like a stubborn knot. It was a hopelessly romantic thought to think that a simple night borne from theoretical obligation would suddenly reignite what spark they had previously.

As the door clicked shut behind him, Cassien immediately leaned back against it, eyes closed as he took a deep inhale. His body was still warm with the cradle of her touch as her smell clung to him like a perfume. Even during the short few weeks they had prior to the incident, they had never even spent a single night together. But now, as something less than friends but just barely more than rivals, the nature of their reluctant coexistence had progressed to something a thousand times more confusing yet intimate.

Suddenly, a familiar, high pitched voice shook him from his trance.

“Duke Rivain?”

His eyes snapped open to the sight of Ysonna Archfeld who had been simply passing by, but now completely frozen in shock at the sight of the duke leaving the duchess’s chambers in the early morning. Her dark brown eyes were wide with disbelief, lips slightly parted.

“Lady Archfeld,” he straightened his body immediately, his expression as if he were a child caught stealing sweets. “Good morning.”

“At least it is for one of us,” She pursed her lips. “That is Duchess Rosenthorn’s room, is it not?”

He adjusted his collar, clearing his throat awkwardly. This was most definitely not the situation he thought he’d ever find himself in. “It is.”

Ysonna bit her lip ever so slightly as she twiddled her fingers, a faint pink on her cheeks. “...I didn’t realize the rumors were true then - that you and the duchess are…. involved.”

“We’re not,” he corrected, though a hair too quickly as Ysonna’s face lit up at his response.

“Really?!” Her voice squeaked before clasping her hands together tightly. “I mean… of course. She is from the South, it would make much more sense to court someone from within your own territories.”

Cassien rubbed the back of his neck as he met Ysonna’s eager gaze. “What I mean to say is, we’re not involved… anymore - not that I should need to explain myself to anyone. That business is strictly between Naomi and I.”

Her smile faltered slightly at the casual way he spoke her name. “Of course, I didn’t mean to intrude-”

The bedroom door clicked open as Naomi stepped out briskly, distracted by a loosened string from the back of her dress. “Stupid dress-”

Without warning, she collided into Cassien as if he were a wall, yelping as she fumbled back. Instinctively, Cassien’s hands shot out in a steadying hold around her waist, their eyes locked as the warmth of his touch sent a flush across Naomi’s cheeks. The soft orange of her dress’s hem hung low, her hair falling in waves in a soft dip as he held her almost as if they were in a classical dance.

“You need to be more careful,” Cassien grumbled in a low voice, more teasing than unkind. “It’s like you’re a magnet to falling every time I see you.”

Naomi’s face scrunched at him. “How is this my fault? Who just stands in front of the door after bolting out just because we slept together?”

Cassien’s jaw nearly hit the ground at her implication. Shit.

A mangled squeak that sounded suspiciously like a mouse that had been stepped on lurched from Ysonna, who stood frozen in place as her eyes practically bulged from her head.

Naomi’s eyes widened in horror at the realization that they were most definitely not alone. This required a delicate hand at diplomacy to make sure nothing would be misunderstood, which should be no problem for the Lady of House Rosenthorn.

Naomi’s mouth popped open. “Uuhhhhh….”

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“Maybe it’s best if we part ways here, Lady Archfeld,” Cassien said quickly as he threw a dirty look at Naomi.

Ysonna finally blinked.

“Yes!” she replied in a shrill voice, turning sharply on her heels. “I’ll just leave you two to… whatever you were doing!”

Ysonna sprinted away so quickly that she nearly left a trail of dust behind her. Naomi swung open her door as she dragged Cassien’s wrist with her, slamming the entrance shut.

“That was very eloquent,” Cassien said sarcastically. “Never before have I heard anyone as compelling as yourself.”

Naomi pushed her hair back in embarrassment. “I can’t believe that just happened.”

Cassien looked at her wordlessly, his expression unreadable. Then, the tiniest of smiles lifted the corners of his lips - like dawn gracing the horizon - into a full, radiant grin that she had never seen before. She thought he never looked more dreamy than when his lips parted to allow the deep, rich sound to echo out.

A giggle of her own bubbled uncontrollably in her chest as she felt her own mouth curve upwards, laughter spilling out. “It’s not funny!”

”Your reaction suggests otherwise,” he managed to choke out between laughs. Genuine amusement brightened the gold of his irises, a dimple flashing at the corner of his mouth. “Of all the things you could’ve said, that was possibly the worst.”

Her cheeks flushed even harder as she covered her mouth, though it did little to stifle her laugh. “How was I supposed to know she was there? It’s not like you were any help!”

Cassien stepped forward without thinking as he reached out to grasp her hands, his larger fingers easily enveloping hers. His thumb brushed across her skin, delicately soft and supple, as his laughter quieted into a breathless pause.

He leaned closer, his eyes sparkling mischievously, close enough now that Naomi could see her own reflection in his pools of gold. His voice was a playful murmur. “What am I going to do about you..?”

Naomi’s heart thumped wildly in her chest, her face still hot, but not from the laughter. Her fingers curled reflexively around his, and for a brief moment, everything stalled in its intimacy; as if this moment would have existed in another world where their relationship hadn’t been marred by schemes and bitterness.

The air seemed to freeze between them, thick with anticipation as their gazes held. Cassien’s smile slowly faded from teasing amusement into reluctant yearning, and his eyes dipped briefly to her lips. Reality caught him then, snapping back into focus as guilt flickered in his expression. He let out a quiet exhale, gently releasing her hands as if they were delicate porcelain. He stepped back, the warmth of the moment lost like a snuffed flame.

His face returned to its usual stoniness. “In all seriousness, we should be careful around others, in case they get the wrong idea about us.”

Naomi felt her heart deflate as she forced a weak smile. “Of course. This was just a slip of the tongue.”

The lightness of the moment dissipated like steam, and Cassien felt a pang of guilt replace the brief moment of warmth. He knew it was not fair to say one thing and act another, all the while they still had the elephant in the room to discuss. He cleared his throat. “Maybe we should take this chance to talk about some things.”

Naomi nodded slowly as she followed him to the seating area. Cassien leaned back into the chaise, sighing. “About this morning…”

She sat parallel on an armchair, holding out a hand as if to stop him. “I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable. I know it was… unexpected, and I’m not upset at you for leaving.”

”Still,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I shouldn’t have rushed out the way that I did.”

”I can’t blame you for doing so,” Naomi admitted. “We didn’t exactly end things on a good note. As much as I’d like to pretend things can just go back to the way they were before, I think caution is a good thing.”

Memories of the horrid night flooded back as he regarded her carefully, his greatest curiosity slipping from his lips. “What exactly happened that made you think I was a part of the attack that night?”

“Well, the icicle to the stomach didn’t help,” she said, a weak attempt at a joke. “Honestly, it makes no sense when I think about it; you had no motives or interest in the shard even from the beginning. I feel like…”

She bit her lip, her hands squeezing tightly on the fabric of her dress. “…I’m so stupid for ever thinking it had anything to do with you. I’m sorry.”

He leaned forward, ever so slightly. “You’re not stupid.”

”If not stupid, then what?” she refuted, shame coloring her face. “It was easier for me to fall back on old suspicions that’d been planted in me my entire life rather than really look at what was in front of me. As if… as if I wanted the accusations to be true.”

”What do you mean, ‘wanted’ them to be true?” His voice was cautious, but not accusatory.

Naomi hesitated for a long moment before speaking, her eyes unable to meet his. “If it really was true that you had betrayed me - betrayed us - it would’ve validated everything my mother ever told me about you. It would’ve justified why I never fully gave myself to you.”

”I know now it wasn’t fair to you,” Naomi’s eyes shimmered as her arms wrapped around her body. “I was prepared to fall before you ever pushed. And you never did.”

Cassien was silent as he absorbed her words, understanding fully just how indoctrinating it was to have been fed a certain prejudice his entire life - only to find how utterly wrong it was. From the little he knew of the late Duchess Rosenthorn, Naomi must’ve had the same mindset beaten into her two-fold. She never talked much about her mother even in the past, but it didn’t take a genius to recognize the impossible expectations that she had tried to meet her entire life. In some ways, it was a miracle Naomi hadn’t lept off his terrace purely out of spite after he had caught her.

It would be a lie, though, to say he hadn’t had his own suspicions.

”I can’t say it never crossed my mind either,” Cassien admitted, voice low. “That’s what makes it painful. We chased fantasies of each other - like a puzzle of unknowns with the gaps filled in by infatuation and bad blood. But the second something went wrong…”

“...we expected the worst of each other,” Naomi finished in a hush, her soft blue eyes peering at him through wet lashes. “Yeah. You get it, then.”

For a long time, neither spoke. There was a strange relief in sharing their admittance out loud, but with it was also a sorrowful emptiness; like mourning for something that had never existed in the first place. Naomi let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding, yet her heart felt lighter than ever. To her, it was the first step towards stitching the distance between them, completely stripped of any pretense imposed by their family’s history. Despite his silence, Cassien’s posture was less rigid than she had ever seen, his shoulders no longer drawn tightly. She wondered if he, too, felt a semblance of ease that came from their shared vulnerability.

Naomi unwound her arms, sighing softly. “So… what now? Do we just… move on?”

Cassien’s lips twitched in a faint smile. “We could start with looking at both sides of the hallways before blurting things out.”

“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“No.”

Naomi smiled at his humor, but the fact that he ignored the second part of her question did not escape her. She pushed back the sting, masking it masterfully. “It seems like whenever you’re around - either in the infirmary or since last night - I haven’t felt any pain.”

“The first time the pain triggered for me was after Thom and I left the infirmary, while you were still unconscious,” Cassien said thoughtfully. “That was actually the first time I got a vision of your perspective, too.”

“I remember that - the pain had woken me up. How far away were you?”

He rubbed his chin. “Less than a hundred paces, I would say. It was painful, but went away in less than a minute.”

Naomi bit her lip gently. “The other day… I was in the front courtyard, about to leave for a minor excursion with Cressida and a few other ladies. You were in the training grounds, I assume, with all the soldiers that followed.”

“That pain was debilitating,” Cassien recounted, remembering the way his body had collapsed like a folding chair after only mere seconds. “Courtyard to training grounds… that’s maybe five, six hundred feet away at most?”

Cassien rested his chin against his hands, rationalizing every scrap of evidence into a logical conclusion. Either it was a coincidence that the pain had finally become overwhelming after spending weeks away from one another, or a certain distance was the maximum length they could physically leave each other’s presence before it became more than a hindrance. Regardless, they had to figure out the in’s and out’s of their condition - and fast - before the Accord came to an end, forcing them to return to their separate regions.

He cleared his throat as he looked at her. “It may be a good idea to establish some boundaries while we test things out, but… we’ll definitely have to stick together more than we thought.”

Naomi tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Boundaries, huh?” The word tasted both safe and disappointing to her.

“For now, we stick to the same wing whenever possible. If we plan to leave the palace, or if one of us is going to be gone for a while, we should warn the other. No more accidental migraines.”

“And… during the night?”

The tips of his ears turned red as he spoke almost militantly. “You’ll take the bed, I’ll stick to the chaise. And this time, we stick to that plan.”