I catch Nat up with what happened the night before during breakfast. She, like I was, couldn't help but be shocked. We had known Eric for a good while know and up until yesterday thought he was a friend of ours. It also takes a lot out of me to tell Nat what happened between Maru and Aaron on Monday at the park. I didn't want to tell her right away because even though Maru and I's friendship has crumbled down that didn't mean that hers and Maru's did too.
"Why did you tell me right away," she replies upset.
"I'm sorry," I tell her with a frown. "I didn't want this to affect your friendship between her, I don't want you choosing sides. To be honest I'm really hurt that she would do that. I know I hurt her when I went to Bianca instead of her but I didn't think she would end up doing something like this."
"Lux when anything happens to you, you need to tell me right away. Especially when it comes to Maru. I knew there was some tension but I didn't realize how bad it was. And what she did was wrong. Like I'm about to go up to her and slap her face for doing something like that. In fact I should do it right now." Nat gets up but I immediately pull her back down.
"Don't."
"Why?"
"Because I need to talk to her."
"Please tell me you're not about to forgive her."
"I'm not," I assure her, "but I don't want to end a friendship like this. I need to know why. I mean I've noticed there has been tension between us long before the party."
"Me too," she replies, "fine talk to her. But if things go bad tell me and I'll be the first one to put her down her little high horse."
I stifle a laugh when she says that. From the corner of my I can see Sage making his way over here.
"Sage is in a grumpy mood again, don't mind him."
"Again? Why?"
I frown. "He didn't get into U of A."
"No way. When did you-" Nat stops talking the moment Sage places his tray on our table.
He's got a blank look on his face and he sighs as he takes a seat beside me. He doesn't greet us but instead goes on ahead and begins to eat his mashed potatoes. Nat and I briefly glance at each other before eating our own lunch too.
Thankfully the week goes by rather quickly, nothing unsettling happens, not like the beginning of the week that is. I see Aaron around, and although I know he said we could be friends I keep my distance. Friends-who would've known that word could cause such pain.
On Saturday morning I get up around nine and get dressed. I've decided to drive to Maru's house and talk to her. I would've done it at school but she is currently avoiding me there and along with that I know that she would've just brushed me off. But I know if I show up at her house, there is no way she can ignore me. Surprisingly enough I see a car beside her own in the driveway and my thoughts go to her absent parents-or at least not-so-absent now. When I reach the door I ring the door bell, the tune loud enough so I can hear it outside. I wait for a little before the door is opened by Maru's mom. She peers at me unsure of who I am and what I am here for until she takes a closer look and a smile forms in her face.
"Lux, mija, come in." She opens the door wide to let me in and I smile back and greet her as I make my way inside. Her hair is the same shade of chestnut brown like Maru's only shorter, and she's wearing clothes I'd normally wear when my mom wants us to take a family picture-all prettied up. She calls Maru and tells me she has just woken up.
"So how are you?" she questions as we wait for Maru to come down.
"I've been good," I reply, "and yourself?"
"Good," she says, "busy with work, the usual."
That's exactly what Maru would say when I'd ask her about her parents' wellbeing. I force a smile at her response when the sound of footsteps run down the stairs. When Maru sees me her eyes narrow.
"Lux is here," her mom says.
"I can see that," she replies hastily.
"Well, I've got some work to do so I'll leave you two to it." With those words and a last glance her mom walks away, entering one of the many rooms of this big house.
"What are you doing here," Maru says when her mom is gone. She takes a last step down the stairs and walks over to me, her arms crossed.
"We need to talk," I reply.
"About what?" she inquires. "About the fact that you chose some random chick over me, your best friend."
"You were purposely humiliating her," I respond, "you could've argued with her in private but of course you decided to do it in front of everyone. And to be honest that's one of the reasons why I came here to talk. But the most important question I have for you is, why did you go with Aaron that night at the park?"
Maru's eyes widen, as if I've caught her in a lie. It only takes her a second to recover and her face goes to stone.
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"I was there you know. When you walked up to him in the crown of girls. I saw when you whispered things to his ear. And I watched you walk behind the trash bin, your mind probably hoping you would do something with him."
"And if I did?" she questions daringly.
"I know you didn't. I followed you guys and I heard all that you said."
"So what? Are you here to call me a backstabbing bitch? Are here to call me a whore?"
"No," I respond, "I'm here to make it clear that you and I are not friends."
"It was already clear, you didn't need to waste your time here," she responds confidently. But I see the look in her eyes and I know my words caught her off guard.
"Okay," I respond, and nod. I turn around to leave but stop midway when she says something.
"So that's it? You're going to end our friendship over some guy?"
I turn around and look at her.
"I'm not ending our friendship over a guy. I'm ending it because you hurt me and ultimately you did betray me. Like I said, I'm here to make it clear that our friendship is over, not to discuss every single reason why it's over. Because if I were to list each reason, we'd be here all night."
With that said I turn my heel and walk out her house. I don't look back even when I reach my car and my heart hurts and my throats is dry, and I gasp for air because it is the first time I'd ever done something like that. And I realize that the pain I had when I thought I lost Aaron is different to this one. I just lost a friend-someone who I thought was my friend for years, and I'd say it is one of the greatest pains I've ever felt.
During the ride back home I put on my Disney playlist, wanting to sing and not feel what I was feeling. As I'm parking my car I notice Sage is leaving.
"Where are you going?" I ask him.
"None of your business," he says before he drives away.
The time is currently 10:45:03 PM. I know this because the clock on my computer has the seconds set up as well. I used to think that was a good idea, but now, as I sit and wait to hear the door open I can't help but feel nervous. Why? I'm not so sure. Ever since Sage left earlier today I had a bad feeling in my stomach.
I distract myself by putting on some Netflix, and before I know it I am sound asleep. That is until my phone buzzes. I ignore the first and second time, thinking it is just a random notification. But by the third time the buzzing has become annoying and I open my eyes to turn it off. When I grab my phone I see that is just a little past 2 o'clock and Sage has been calling me nonstop. He calls again and I answer immediately.
"Hello?"
"Hi, is this Lux?" The voice of the stranger causes my stomach to churn.
"Yes," I reply hesitantly, "who is this?"
"Trevor."
"What are you doing with my brother's phone Trevor?"
"Look I asked him who to call and he said you. I mean at first I thought he said Lex but when I tried looking for a Lex on his phone all I found was Lux so hopefully I contacted the right person."
"Where's Sage," I ask alarmed.
"Passed out right in front of me. This boy has been drinking nonstop the moment he arrived to The Lounge."
"The lounge? What lounge?"
"That's just the name of the house we're at. I'll send you some directions so you can come and get him. He's gotten in some fights and nobody wants him here so I suggest you hurry."
Trevor doesn't have to tell me twice before I put on my shoes and my keys. I try to be ask quiet as I can so that I don't wake up my dad and make my way to my car. When I finally make it out of my neighborhood I put in the directions to the house Trevor gave me. The drive is far and I almost fall asleep but in thirty-five minutes I arrive at a teared up two story house that is filled with graffiti and broken windows. Cautiously I walk out of my car and to the front of the house. I knock but no one answers. When I try to open the door it works, the door not being locked in the first place. As I walk in I see that the house isn't furnished at all, the looks from the outside is the same look on the inside. A few people are sitting in the corner, drinking some beer and from the smells of it, smoking some weed. My heart beats fast and I am unsure of where to go to find Trevor and my brother so I walk around the first floor and when I don't find them I walk up the stairs. Sure enough Sage is sprawled in a corner with a dark-skinned guy beside him smoking a cigarette. When the guy-whom I've already assumed to be Trevor-sees me he stands up.
"Lux," he says, cigarette still in his mouth. I nod.
"He's all yours," he says and starts making his way downstairs.
"You're not gonna help me pick him up?" I question.
Trevor shakes his head. "My only job is to notify someone, not to pick up the mess." He turns around and walks downstairs and I am left alone with a passed out Sage. My first instinct is to call Ethan but he doesn't answer and after what seems like twenty phone calls I give up. I then call Nat but she doesn't answer either and I know that she had the late shift at the diner so she is more than likely sound asleep. I let out a sigh, knowing I shouldn't, but not knowing who else to call. Within the second ring he picks up.
"Hello?" his voice is deeper than usual and that's when I know I just woke him up. If it weren't for the fact that I needed some help I would've hung up and let him go back to sleep.
"Aaron," I say.
"What's wrong?" his voice is alert and concerned and suddenly I feel so bad for calling him.
"Can you please help me? I got a call to pick Sage up at some house but he's passed out and I can't take him to my car on my own. It's kind of sketchy here and the one person that called won't help me. I know its super late and I am so sorry. I would've never call if it wasn't an emerge-"
"I'm already walking out the door. Where's the house again?"
I send Aaron the directions and wait until he arrives. Meanwhile I try to wake Sage up, hoping this will help us when we need to take him to my car. I shake him and he doesn't respond so I shake him again, this time harder and he slaps my hand away.
"Sage," I urge as I continue to shake him.
"Go away," he mutters.
"I need you to get up. We need to go."
His eyes flutter for a moment and he stares at me before closing them again.
"Go away."
"Why are you acting like this? I'm just trying to help."
"You're no help." His words aren't coming out coherent but when I ask him to repeat himself I understand what he is saying.
"I'm here to help you, now come on."
"No," he yells and pushes me away. "Go away."
"Why are you being so difficult? Why did you even come here in the first place? Sage! Tell me what's wrong with you!"
"Ethan broke up with me!" he yells back. He's still on the floor, his eyes anywhere but on me.
"What?" I ask, shocked.
"He broke up with me and add along with my shitty life, I didn't get into U or A."
"Why did he-"
"I cheated on him," he replies and suddenly he's crying. "I'm such a fucking asshole."
"Why did you cheat on him?"
"I was drunk Lux," he mutters, "I was drunk and all Ethan cared about at the moment was school. I just wanted to have fun at the party but I had too much to drink and I had sex with another guy and Ethan saw us. He hates me."
"Sage," I say, my voice softer. I sit down beside him and he's crying hard and I pull his head on my lap and try to soothe him and calm him down. But he continues to cry for another while, I don't say anything-not really sure of what to say and I wait until Aaron arrives. Sage is quiet when I see Aaron walking up the stairs. He has a face of worry as he walks closer to us.
"Come on Sage," I say and get up. He's passed out again and I shake him once more. When we try to stand him up he nearly falls on me so Aaron puts all of Sage's weight on his back. He asks me to stay close as we walk down the stairs and he helps me put Sage in the back of my car.
"Thank you," I tell him, "I'm sorry for waking you."
"It's okay," he says, "are you good to drive or should I?"
"I'm good," I say, "you should head home."
Aaron shakes his head. "I need to make sure you two make it home safe," is all he says before getting on his motorcycle.
Aaron follows me home and helps me take Sage down from my car. We're trying really hard to be quiet as we enter the house but a light turns on and my dad finds us. His face of anger goes to worry the minute he sees Sage. He asks me what happened and I explain everything, from Sage's drunken state, to not getting to U of A and lastly the breakup between him and Ethan. Dad takes ahold of Sage and tells us he will take care of him before saying goodbye to Aaron.
As I walk Aaron out of the house I sit on the steps.
"Aren't you going back inside?" he asks.
I nod. "I just want to see you go."
At that he smiles but instead of heading to his motorcycle he sits beside me.
"You're not leaving?"
"Not yet," he says. Cool wind is in the air and I begin to shiver, not realizing how cold it was outside. Without a word Aaron takes off his leather jacket and places it around me.
"You didn't have to," I say.
"I know," is all he responds but he's smiling and staring at the stars.
I look at the leather jacket, feeling snug and warm inside it and suddenly a thought comes to my head and I can't help but chuckle.
"Don't tell me you bought this jacket just to look like a bad boy."
Aaron looks back at me and his cheeks go pink.
"Go ahead and tease," he says, "the jacket is still badass."
"Sure," I comply but let out another chuckle.
We stay out for a while in silence when suddenly Aaron says, "I'm gonna be honest with you."
"Okay," I reply.
"I didn't want to like you before. Like when I first started liking you I kept denying it. I pushed those feelings away. But the more I got to know you, the more time we spent, it was almost impossible for me to deny it so I thought what the hell, might as well give it a try. And the cause of giving it a try is the fear of also getting heartbroken. For the past couple of years I never had someone reject me as bad as you. The other rejects never hurt as bad or made an impact on me. This year has definitely been the craziest. You, Lux Callaghan, gave me a great awakening. And I'm sorry for the constant things I did to you at school, with putting posters about us, asking some guys to sing and dance for you at the cafeteria, to even going on the radio. I'm sorry for this crazy, flipped upside-down, heck of a year."
"I guess we both know that I didn't expect to like you either. And I'm also sorry for the craziness of this year. But I'm mostly sorry for letting the fear of heartbreak get in the way of being with a great guy like you, if I could change the way things turned out, I would."
"I wouldn't." Aaron's words cause my heart to stop beating and I turn to look at him, confused.
"I mean look at us," he says, "even after the heartbreaks and misunderstandings we're still here, sitting on these steps together. Even when we think that this is it, this is the end of us, we always find a way of going back to each other, despite it all. And I think that's what's made this heartbreak worth it."
I don't know what to say. He's right. We are sitting here together, even after everything. And I'm so unsure of what are the right words to say but when I turn to look at him and I see as the moonlight hits his face perfectly and the small smile on his face hasn't left I realize that he is right. The heartbreak is worth it and I am just done with holding myself back. I am done with being afraid.
So I grab Aaron's face and I turn it around so he's looking back at me. He stiffens at my touch but relaxes once our eyes meet. I smile back at him and without any more thoughts, I go for it. I go in and close the space between us, kissing him like I've always wanted to.