hope you guys are enjoying caratland as much as i am!
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the day drags on longer than chan expected, and still, no one ends up approaching him.
so maybe the anxiety was eating him alive, but chan needs to realize that his friends also have personal lives and he needs to push back the thought of them possibly avoiding him.
chan enters the dorm building, only to stop in his tracks once he sees vernon leaning against the wall.
"what are you doing..." chan trails off when vernon grabs his wrist, pulling him down the hall. chan decides to not say anything and instead just let him do whatever he wants, because truthfully, chan was exhausted.
he stops in front of chan's door, and the younger man unlocks it, both of them walking in one at a time. still, no words were exchanged.
even when chan hangs up his coat, bag and keys, slides off his shoes, and heads into the kitchen to make some tea, vernon hasn't said a word.
all he does is make himself at home, turning on the tv and throwing up his feet on the coffee table.
"do you want anything to eat?" chan asks.
"nah, i just ate. i'll have some water, though, if that's okay," he replies back and chan grabs a glass to pour some water in.
while the water boils, chan makes his way to vernon. "so, are you going to tell me why you're here? i mean, i don't mind or anything-but you dragged me to my dorm without saying a word." chan handed him the glass of water, "is there something wrong?"
"did shua and jeonghan hyung talk to you about how all of us were going to tell you what happened yesterday?"
chan was surprised. that's oddly specific. "yes...?" this was getting suspicious.
"that's why i'm here. we didn't want to make you uncomfortable, and i already know you'll get extremely embarrassed once i tell you," vernon switched through the channels, then made a decision to watch a movie on Netflix instead. "can i sleep over?"
"only if you tell me right now," chan sat next to vernon. "i've been on edge all day because no one has talked to me since i woke up."
vernon didn't look at chan when he said, "you said you liked all twelve of us."
it was as if chan's heart genuinely dropped. he couldn't hear anything except the thump of his heartbeat, and the low dialogue of vernon's random movie playing in the background. how could i have said something like that? sure, i think they're nice, but that should be it. they're good friends, that's it.
"close your mouth, something might fly in there," vernon smiled gently, using the two of his fingers to close chan's jaw himself.
chan blinked, "are you serious?"
"why would i lie about that?" vernon chuckled.
"it's not funny!" chan exclaimed, but he wasn't mad. just a little overwhelmed. "no wonder everyone ignored me today, i ruined everything."
vernon glanced at the younger and saw the distress clear in his expression, and immediately softened. "hey, you didn't ruin anything. they don't care, they were just a little surprised."
"but... how is anything going to be the same after this? i literally confessed-without even knowing myself!" chan put his head in his hands and groaned. "what do i do?"
the silence wasn't making the situation any better, so chan looked up at vernon, silently begging him to say something.
"i'm going to get in trouble for saying this, but it's time you know," vernon said solemnly, and chan's palms started to sweat at his tone.
"what? another secret?" chan asked in disbelief.
vernon pinched chan's cheek, "don't blame me! i'm the one telling you."
chan rolled his eyes but didn't say anything.
"there's no other way to say this, so i'll be blunt," vernon hesitated for a second, "they're kind of in an... open relationship?"
chan's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. he was not expecting that. "WHAT?!"
"wait, no, they're in a poly relationship, sorry," vernon scratched the back of his neck. "it gets confusing with them."
"wow, there's just too much information being told right now, let's just stay in silence for the next two minutes," chan told vernon and he nodded obediently.
"i can't take this silence." chan admitted after thirty seconds.
vernon huffed out a laugh, "are you really that surprised?"
"well, of course i am. i know you're all close, but i didn't think that close," chan shrugged.
"are you okay with it?" vernon asked and chan gasped at him, obviously offended.
"why wouldn't i be? putting that much trust into a relationship with that many people, that's all the information i need to know that you guys truly love each other," chan smiled down at his lap. "are you also in it?"
"i rejected them when they first asked me," vernon said and chan pursed his lips, trying to hold his laugh. vernon saw and instantly shoved him, both of them giggling. "dude, you should have seen their faces! i wasn't expecting them to be so sad."
"how come you rejected them?" chan asked, before quickly adding, "you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
vernon stayed quiet as he stared into his eyes, and chan regretted asking that question. how could he have asked something so personal?
"i have another secret," vernon said, but this time, he wasn't joking.
chan didn't say anything, he just motioned for him to continue.
vernon sighed, "i rejected them because... i really love you, chan."
the third time that day, chan was shocked. but this time, he gasped. he wasn't even trying to be dramatic, he just couldn't believe it.
"how long?"
vernon looked at the tv screen, "when i was in my second year of middle school."
chan did the math in his head, he did it twice and then thrice and almost passed out. "t-ten years?!" he ended up choking out.
the older nodded pathetically.
"hyung," chan said gently. he never called him formally because they were only a year apart, and they've known each other for so long. but for some reason, chan had the urge to call him that, to let vernon know he was serious. "why didn't you just tell me? we've been friends for years."
vernon didn't look at chan. "that's exactly why i didn't say anything. you only ever thought of me as a childhood friend. i even tried to suppress my feelings for you, but... i just couldn't. how can i not love you, chan?" he shook his head, standing up from the couch. "i should just leave."
before he could take a step further, chan caught his hand in time. "hyung, you didn't even listen to me."
"what?" vernon, so clueless.
"you didn't know how much i love you? hyung, you've always been there for me, and i couldn't ask for a better soulmate. you know exactly what to say at the worst times of my life, you were there when i won my first dance competition, and you were the only one who comforted me when i came out to my parents." chan stood up too, his hand squeezing vernon's. "you're such an idiot, hyung. i've been waiting for you for so long-"
chan couldn't finish what he was saying, because at that moment, vernon tugged him by his waist and pulled him into a kiss. the words died down in throat and all he could of was the fact that he was kissing vernon. his childhood friend. but all those thoughts were buried at the back of his head, not wanted. chan wrapped his arms around vernon's neck, his fingers carding through his silky hair and gently pulling. the older man groaned into his mouth, hands trailing lower until they were loosely holding chan's hips. they both pulled back, completely out of breath, but it felt like a second later, vernon was pulling him back into another heated kiss.
"what happens now?" chan asks, panting.
it was as if they ran a marathon.
vernon looked at the tv and grinned. "watch a romantic movie and fall asleep in each other's arms?"
chan's jaw began to ache because of how hard he was smiling.
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another long chapter, whoops! hope you enjoyed though <3
what do you guys think of chansol? :]