Chapter 20: The Sleepless Nights

Em’s POV

The room was bathed in soft moon light that was peeking out from the curtains over my window. It looked almost peaceful, except I felt the complete opposite. I had been laying here trying hard to fall asleep for the past couple of hours. My poor blankets and a few pillows were scattered around my bed and even some laid on the floor. I was hot then I was cold. I was beginning to lose hope that I was going to get a good night’s rest.

I tried just laying here with my eyes closed, hoping sleep would come, but it never did. Instead, I was haunted by icy blue eyes every time I shut my own. They belonged to the very reason why I couldn’t quiet my thoughts.

Alpha Jensen.

There was something about him that made the hair on the back of my neck stand at attention. Every time I come close to figuring out why I feel this way, it’s almost as if the thought completely vanishes and I’m back to square one.

To make matters worse, I’ve caught him staring at me with that same look he gave me in the office when he thinks no one is paying any attention.

The look that has kept me up for the past four nights.

The look that says one thing:

He knows me.

I’ve been tempted to confront him about it, but I don’t want to do anything that would jeopardize the alliance that Marcus has worked hard on getting. For the very short amount of time that I have seen Marcus the past four days, he has been so excited for this alliance. If he wasn’t, I would go to him and express my concern. But, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I have missed Marcus the past four days more than I thought I would. We see each other at breakfast for a few minutes and sometimes, if I am lucky, I’ll see him at dinner. Other than that, he has been in meetings upon meetings working out the details of this alliance.

After laying here for a few more minutes, I’ve finally sighed in defeat and gave up trying to find sleep. I grabbed a sweatshirt and walked out of my room, headed to the kitchen to grab some tea in hopes that it would aid me in finding some sleep.

Just as I was about to descend the stairs, a hand on my arm stopped me, making me jump in fright.

“Hey, what are you doing up so late, Love?”

Instant relief washed over me as I turned to look at him and wrap my arms around him, trying to get as close as I can.

Marcus wrapped his arms around me and placed a small kiss on my head. “Are you ok?” He asked me.

I nodded my head. “Yeah, I just really missed you.” I was suddenly glad I had problems sleeping tonight. This was the first time we have had a moment alone in days.

Marcus pulled me in closer and gave me a small squeeze. “I’ve missed you too. I’m sorry I haven’t spent any time with you the past few days, it’s just been crazy here.” He pulled back to look at me and set his forehead against mine. “What are you doing out of bed at this time of night?” He asked me again.

“I was headed to the kitchen for some tea, I couldn’t sleep.” I looked at him for a few seconds before I realized something. “What are you doing out of bed?”

A sheepish look formed on Marcus’s face. “I may or may not have been on my way to check on you.” He confessed.

Warmness spread across my body upon hearing that. “You were?”

Marcus rubbed the back of his neck. “Um, yeah I was. I actually check on you during the night before I go to bed and in the morning when I get up for training. It helps me sleep at night, knowing you’re safe and sound in your bed.”

My heart fluttered in my chest. I didn’t think it was possible for me to fall even more in love with this man than I already was. I laid my head against his chest and tried to hold back the tears that were forming.

“Are you ok Em?” He asked me, concern laced in his voice.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I love you so much, I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

Marcus rubbed my back and let out a small chuckle. “It’s me who doesn’t deserve you, I am amazed every day that the Moon Goddess gave me you.”

I leaned back to look up at him. “Do you think that maybe you can hold me until I fall asleep? It’s just, I haven’t been sleeping well and it feels so good to be in your arms. You can leave after I fall asleep if you don’t feel comfortable staying with me. I know you want to wait till after we complete the bond to share a bed, but I’m just so exhausted and I miss you.”

Marcus was quiet for a few seconds, making me grow even more nervous as time passed, before he finally nodded his head and started leading me up the stairs.

“Where are we going?” I asked him, confused on why we weren’t headed towards my room.

“To our room. I know I said I wanted to wait, and the only reason was because I didn’t want to be tempted to mark you until we do the Luna ceremony. But honestly, I haven’t been able to sleep that well the last few nights either and have also missed you. So, I say we just go and get a good night’s sleep together. At this point, I feel like it’s the only time we are ever going to get alone. Unless, you don’t want to! We can also just cuddle in your room then I can leave.”

He stopped walking, waiting for me to say something. I grabbed his hand and started walking up the stairs again. “That sounds like a great idea.” A smile stretched across his handsome face as he started following me.

We walked onto his floor and into his bedroom in silence, just enjoying being alone with each other.

“What side do you sleep on?” I asked him.

Marcus shrugged his shoulders. “Just pick a side that you want, I’m not picky.”

I walked to the right side of the bed and climbed into the sheets. I immediately felt more relaxed than I have in days. The blankets were warm and fluffy, the bed was soft yet firm, and the best part of it was that everything on the bed smelled like Marcus. I think I died and went to heaven.

I let out a loud yawn and snuggled further into the bed. Marcus climbed in on the other side and laid facing me. We stared at each other for a few seconds, just enjoying this feeling. He reached out his hand and brushed some hair away from my face.

I grabbed his hand and held it against my chest, refusing to let him go.

“You’ve looked really stressed these past few days, anything you want to talk about? Does it have something to do with the alliance?” I asked him.

Marcus let out a big sigh and thought for a few seconds. “The alliance is actually going quite well, Jensen has been great to work with.” He grew quiet again.

“Then what is it? You can’t tell me it’s nothing, because I can tell when you’re stressed out.”

Confusion danced across Marcus’s face. “How can you tell?” He asked me.

I let out a light chuckle. “You get a line right between your eyes when you are in a deep thought or stressed, sometimes both.”

“I do?”

I nodded my head. “Yes, you do. Now tell me what’s going on.”

Marcus shifted closer to me until our noses almost touched. “The alliance is going well and we should be ready tomorrow night to form it officially under the full moon, which is a huge relief.” He got quiet before he continued. “However, all the warriors I sent to Alexis pack are returning home tomorrow. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, it’s a good thing. There haven’t been any rogue sightings since that one that I told you about. But, I feel like it’s the complete opposite. It just doesn’t make sense that they would surround her entire pack and then just disappear. Especially, since there were smaller sightings of them before that. Now, nothing. Complete silence.”

I thought for a minute, it did seem weird, but I was unclear why he was so stressed out about it. “So, why do you think it’s a bad thing?” I asked him.

“Because it means either one of two things. One, they have given up and realized it would be a losing fight after I sent back up. Or, they are recouping and planning something bigger.”

“So, you think it’s more likely to be the later option?” I asked him.

Marcus nodded his head, “Yes, I do. I’ve talked to Alexis and tried to convince her to keep my warriors for just a little longer in case something does happen, but she declined. I think she is hoping it doesn’t come to that. We both have contacted every pack in the US and none of them have had any rogue sightings in the last couple of months, not even one rogue sighting. That’s just unheard of. I feel like something is going to happen and it’s not going to be good.”

I reached up and brushed a few hairs back behind his ear before cupping his cheek. “Everything is going to be ok. No matter what happens, we will be prepared. I know that if anybody can handle this, it’s you.”

Marcus let out a deep breath, relaxing as he did. He reached out with both arms and wrapped them around me, pulling me against his chest. He placed a kiss on my head and simply whispered, “Thank you.”

I wrapped one of my arms around him and rubbed soothing circles on his back. “Of course, you can tell me anything Marcus. I’ll always be here to listen and offer my amazing advice.”

He lightly chuckled and kissed the top of my head.

Sleep began to make its presence known and soon we were both asleep. It felt like heaven.