Alia lightly crooned to herself as she stared out the window,
"Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss knowing it's all good, it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing
You're perfect to me
You're so mean (you're so mean)
When you talk (when you talk)
About yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices (change the voices)
In your head (in your head)
Make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game
It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same, oh
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing
You're perfect to me"
Her well-used and ragged copy of Jane Eyre lay open in her lap, as her mind drifted off. Alia had had a rough childhood that left her mostly separated from her family and terrified of forming real bonds via romantic relationships or friendships. Deep down, there was so much pain that was left unsaid and unheard. But she had found her joy in serving others and spending time with the children of Baltimore. It was rare for her to sing this song as she had never seen herself as perfect, but she often found herself saying it to her patients.
Now, here she was, thinking about her family and her patients. She hadn't seen them in a while, and she wondered about Charlie, the 16 year old female she had started on antidepressants, hoping someone was following up on her dose. And Mr. Everett with his chronic COPD who had finally set a quit date to his smoking. And Kaya, her 39 week pregnant patient who was expecting two twins following an emotional IVF cycle. This was her family and she found herself missing them terribly. Alia even thought about her sister and her family, living in Toronto. They hadn't spoken in weeks, but it wasn't from hatred, they just had two completely different lives. She thought about Kabir and Kiran, her 6 year old nephew and 4 year old niece that were her brother's children. He had passed 3 years ago, leaving two children with his girlfriend. Alia had never met them as they lived in Australia, but she often received emails with updates and communicated with their mom over email.
Alia couldn't help it as a tear escaped her eyes. She knew she should be planning her escape, but the emotional whirlpool she felt was difficult to ignore. Knowing that the women were close by and watching her every move, she made a point to quickly wipe her eyes under the guise of sneezing. As she sneezed, she was quickly handed a Kleenex box by a woman standing near her.
"Thank you. What's your name?" Alia gently asked, wondering about how these women ended up here and their story. That was her specialty and downfall as a human, she loved learning about people and ended up emotionally invested even where it served her no purpose.
The woman trembled, "My Queen, please don't thank me. I exist to serve you. My name is whatever you'd like it to be." Alia was shocked at her response. Everyone had an identity, even after the shift. It was made them all unique.
"Everyone has a name. What does everyone else call you?" She asked.
"No one here has a name, Your Majesty. Except for Liam and the King's second. We all have barcodes to indicate who we are. We refer to ourselves as slaves, My Queen, is that the name you seek?" One of the other women rushed to speak.
Alia's mouth fell open in shock. That was unheard of and unacceptable. Everyone should have a name, they are people, no matter their job. Seeing her shock, the women panicked. Maybe she didn't like that they were all the same name, she couldn't complain about them and have them punished. Maybe she thought they were tricking her!
"Oh no, my Queen, we apologize. We didn't mean to upset you! I swear it- we will respond to whatever you'd like to call us! And we will present ourselves for punishment whenever you see fit!" The third woman called out, hoping to diffuse the situation. All three women kneeled, awaiting their punishment.
"No, wait! Stand please!" Alia cried out as she lept to her feet. The women quickly stood.
"My Queen, how may we serve you?" The first woman asked.
Alia was dumbstruck, but decided that as long as she was stuck in this damn castle, she was going to make some changes, consequences be damned. "We all are going to have names! Mine is Alia!" She raised her hand to shake theirs but they shook their heads.
"Apologies, my Queen, but we do not have permission to speak so freely with you."
Alia frowned, thinking. How would she get them to tell her what names they wanted to be named if they wouldn't even acknowledge hers. After some pondering, inspiration struck her! If she was their Queen, then she could tell them they had to, right? "Ok, if I'm your Queen, then you have to tell me what names you would like for yourselves?"
The women stood silent for a moment. If the King learned that they defied the Queen, they would certainly die. If he learned that they were given a name by the Queen, they may only be punished.
The third woman spoke up first, "My Queen, does the name Sunny please you?" She had always loved the Sun and the light, which made being enslaved by the Darkness a terrible pain. This was her chance to combat some of that pain.
"If you do, I love it!" Alia cried out, clapping her hands. Her response made the other two women smile. "How about you two?"
"Lily, Your Highness, if it pleases you." The first woman spoke up.
"Maybe Chandni? That was the name my mother gave me, my Queen." The second woman spoke, her eyes filling with years. It had been quite some time since she thought of her mother, who had passed long ago. At 52 years, she was by far the oldest slave, and therefore the only one who remembered her previous life at all. The other women felt a twang of jealousy that she remembered her birth name, but they also knew how much harder she had it, remembering her previous life while they weren't tortured by memories of their families.
"So Sunny, Lily, and Chandni! Perfect! Let's go ask everyone else their names!" Alia had never been this excited before. She finally felt a little comfortable in this place, and maybe with time, she could gain some knowledge about what was happening here. She bounded towards the door and threw it open.
A shocked Liam spun around, his hand on his holster, anticipating any danger. But as he saw Alia in the doorway, he exclaimed, "My Queen!", while moving to his knees and bowing his head. "How may we serve you?" Half the other men followed suit while two remained standing, watching out for any danger.
"Your name is Liam, right?" Alia questioned.
"If it pleases you, your Highness, if not, it is whatever you would like it to be." Liam replied, quickly, his eye still fixed to the floor. He was given the name Liam by the King and had grown to like it quite a bit, but he knew he was only given this name to identify him from everyone else. Not because he deserved it or it was a good name for him. He was lucky the King was feeling gracious that day and didn't name him Dog or Boy.
"I want everyone to have the name they like. Do you like the name Liam?"
Liam's eye flew up in surprise. He was shocked to see the quiet girl who barely whimpered in front of the King, speaking with such confidence and concern. But he knew the King would be furious that the Queen focused on the slaves as much as she did. He wanted her to relax and rule, not worry about the rest of them. "My Queen, we have no need for names. You may merely call for us and we will serve you. The King wishes for you to rest." He realized he was staring at the queen so he lowered his head and quickly added on, "I apologize for my disrespect, my Queen."
Alia tapped her foot, she was getting tired of "resting". She wanted to do something fulfilling, and at this time, this was the best she could get. "No thank you. I'd like everyone to have names and names they like. Can you guys stand up now please?"
Wordlessly, the men stood up with their heads still bowed. "Okay everyone!" Alia clapped her hands. "Does anyone have any names they like?" The men remained silent, waiting for Liam's signal.
Seeing the Queen get impatient with her foot tapping, Liam decided that it was best to indulge the Queen's whims now. There was no way she would remember everyone's names anyways. "I like the name Liam, your Majesty." He spoke first.
"Good, so we'll keep it as Liam! Who else?" All 5 men spoke up hesitantly.
"Billy, my Queen."
"Your Majesty, Shaman."
"Jay, your Highness."
"My Queen, Adube."
"Oliver, your Majesty."
"Those are great names, guys! So we have Chandni, Lily, Sunny, Liam, Billy, Shaman, Jay, Adube, Oliver, so far! Ooh, we should make name tags! But first, let's go meet everyone else!" Alia squealed. She was getting really into this and turned down the hall.
Liam moved in front of her path, "I apologize, my Queen, but wouldn't you prefer remaining in the office for now? There are too many slaves to know them all here and it would take forever to name them all if you search for them. This group can become your permanent slaves so you don't need to learn any more names and you will always know who to call."
Alia looked back at him, confused. "This isn't about me knowing their names, it's about everyone having their own identity." She continued on and spent the rest of the day, walking down the halls, asking everyone what they wanted to be called. After about 5 more, she decided that everyone, included herself needed to wear name tags, which were quickly arranged for by Lily, who was now creating creative name tags for everyone. "Those look great, Lily!" Alia called out as she passed the new ones to Sanjay and Sharani, the two newest guards and brothers who had been given their names. Some of them deferred to her to pick names, so Alia had developed a short list of options to start with while people got inspired.
Two hours later, Alia began to feel faint and her feet began to hurt. This was noticed by Liam, who begged her to stop and take a break. But Alia was determined to walk the halls to learn her escape routes, as well as give every person names.
Sunny quickly ran off and brought back water which Alia gratefully accepted and drank. Not soon after, she began to feel even more faint and soon after, collapsed on the floor. The group broke into a frenzy and the doctor was summoned while Alia was gently carried back to Luca's room by a terrified Liam and Jay.
If they weren't going to be killed before, they were certainly going to be killed now.