Chapter 16: Chapter 16

SHAY

~FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 30~

Two months had passed. Shay had been extremely busy with her work, and Ethan had been traveling a lot more lately. Although they spent less time together, their relationship had blossomed in the past few months.

Although they had separate apartments, she spent most of her nights at his place, only to return in the morning for work. She was basically using her apartment as an office.

Their relationship was smooth for the most part—they occasionally argued over tiny matters—and they enjoyed each other’s company.

Having dinner once a month with Ethan’s family was becoming their routine, and Shay was enjoying getting to know them. He already knew her family well enough.

Sitting across from Kourtney, Shay wasn’t paying much attention to what her best friend was saying. Instead, her mind was back at Ethan’s, wondering what he was up to.

This was the first time Shay had seen Kourtney since her brand deal, and she felt bad that she hadn’t been present in her life lately.

“Girl, are you even listening?” Kourtney asked.

“Yeah, sorry,” Shay apologized.

“How are you and Ethan?” Kourtney asked, changing the topic from her life of drama with one of the main guys she was with.

“We’re good.” She sighed in contentment. “Really good.”

“If you weren’t dating him, I would. Damn, he’s hot,” Kourtney remarked.

Shay rolled her eyes. She knew how good-looking he was—she’d lucked out and got to stare at him every morning.

“He didn’t even call me,” Kourtney pouted, then leaned back in her seat, huffing.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that.” Shay really had forgotten that Kourtney had given him her number when they first met, and she was glad Ethan hadn’t called Kourtney. Thank heavens they’d kept bumping into each other.

“How’s the sex?” Kourtney asked.

“Kourtney!” Shay half yelled, looking around to make sure no one was listening to their conversation.

“Oh my god!” Kourtney covered her mouth in surprise. “You haven’t slept with him?”

“You know I’m saving myself,” Shay replied, looking around slightly paranoid. All her followers knew she was a virgin—it wasn’t a big deal, nor was it her brand—but she hated talking about it in public.

It was unnecessary and, truthfully, it wasn’t anyone’s business but her own.

“I’ve met some of the girls he’s been with, and based on their reports, he’s amazing in bed,” Kourtney said, her eyes rolling to the back of her head like she was in bliss.

Unsure how to process the information, Shay just nodded. It wasn’t like she didn’t know how he was—they did other things, and every single time it was pleasurable. It was just weird hearing someone else talk about his sexual past.

“I’m sure he’s great,” she finally replied, wishing she could drop the topic altogether. “But he’s fine with us not having penetrative sex.”

“I don’t know where your relationship is at, but I don’t know how long it will take before he starts sleeping around,” Kourtney remarked.

Shay’s entire body tensed as she stared at her best friend, unable to believe what she was hearing.

Kourtney sighed. “I don’t mean to be rude, but we’ve known guys like this all our lives, have seen it time and time again. Guys like Ethan are just fuckboys. They sleep around and never settle.”

“What are you even getting at?” Shay asked, folding her arms across her chest as she eyed her best friend suspiciously.

“I think you should end things with him, or sleep with him and pray he stays, before he cheats on you and hurts you.”

“Look, Kourt, I know you have great intentions although what you’re saying is incredibly insensitive. But I think you should mind your own business. For the first time in a long time I’m just enjoying myself.

“I’m in love with…” Shay threw her hands up. “Yes, the ~fuckboy~ Ethan freaking Ramsay. I’m in love with him, and he’s in love with me. You may not believe that and that’s up to you.”

Trying to calm herself, she grabbed her phone and texted Ethan.

Shay

Are you nearby? Can you pick me up?

“Shay,” Kourtney said, her voice filled with regret.

~Bzzz bzzz.~

Ethan Ramsay

Yeah, I’m nearby. I’ll be there in less than 10.

“I’m sorry, Shay,” Kourtney apologized softly.

“Look, I get it, Kourt. I know you’re just being protective. I get it.” She paused, then shook her head disapprovingly. “But what gives you the right to say that he’ll cheat on me?”

She felt a heaviness in her chest—she couldn’t believe her best friend! “What gives you the right to tell me that I should sleep with him and pray he stays? What gives you the right to tell me I should dump him for his past?

“I know he’s no choirboy. And the first time I met him, I didn’t fangirl over him and want his number. I haven’t done anything I didn’t want to do. I know he has a past, but so do I.

“Everyone has a past, and don’t you think he deserves a clean shot? I barely got mine!”

Kourtney shook her head. “That’s not what I meant,” she said, trying to defend herself.

“No,” Shay said, cutting Kourtney off. “No, you meant it how you said it. You ~meant~ to say that he’ll cheat on me because I won’t give up my V-card, like that’s all I’m worth.

“And that if I ~do~ give it up, I need to pray that I’m a good enough lay for him to stay in a relationship with.” Standing up, she grabbed her things.

“Where are you going?” Kourtney asked.

“I’m leaving. I’m done with this conversation.” She turned and didn’t look back, even though she knew a few people in the restaurant were looking at her. Holding her head high, she stormed out of the restaurant.

Waiting on the sidewalk, Shay’s mind was racing. Could she have been wrong about Ethan all along? Could what Kourtney said be true? Suddenly there was all this uncertainty.

A honk snapped her out of her daze, and she turned to see Ethan’s Range Rover. Her feet walked to it without her telling them to, and she opened the car door and got in.

“I thought you guys were going to be later,” Ethan asked as he started to drive.

Staring straight ahead, she pulled the seat belt across her chest. She didn’t want to talk. She wasn’t in the mood for it, and she was too emotional to say a word.

Ethan placed his hand on her thigh and squeezed it lightly. Giving a tight smile, she placed her hand on top of his.

They sat in the car in silence as she processed her thoughts, sifting through the anxiety she felt. What Kourtney said truly affected her. What if Ethan was playing her and waiting for her to give up her virginity before leaving?

Was she just a game to him?

“Let’s go up and talk,” Ethan said.

She hadn’t even realized they’d arrived.

As they made their way up to his apartment, Shay kept her eyes down as she worked through her thoughts. But she could feel him beside her wondering what was going on.

She had never let gossip bother her—she was stronger than that. But she couldn’t stop herself from wondering if he would cheat.

“Hey,” Ethan said.

Blinking rapidly, she looked up at him. They were standing in his living room, but she wasn’t sure when or how she got there.

“I’m sorry,” Shay apologized, stepping backward, wanting to create some distance between them.

“What’s going on?” Ethan asked as he took a seat.

She sighed. “Kourtney and I got into an argument.” Feeling her frustration bubble up, she opened the sliding doors and went to stand on the balcony, staring out at the beautiful city.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked from behind her. Turning around, she saw him by the sliding door frame, resting his arm on it as he gazed at her.

Looking at him, she understood why so many girls fell for him. And she knew how it felt to be in his arms, how he made her feel. She was aware he had a past, a scandalous one—they’ve talked through it several times.

Running into his exes and the girls he slept with came with the territory, she knew that. But somehow, what Kourtney said was affecting her more than it should, and she couldn’t understand why.

“Kourtney thinks I should sleep with you or you’ll start to screw around,” she admitted. “And she also implied that if I sleep with you, you might leave me because you’ve accomplished what you wanted from the beginning.”

She looked away. She wasn’t sure what his reaction would be, and she didn’t really want to see it.

“What do you think?” Ethan asked.

“I don’t know what to think, if I’m honest,” Shay confessed, throwing her hands up in the air. She truly was stuck in her own emotions. “I know that I’m in love with you… But you used to be this major fuckboy.

“You loved sleeping around. I know your friends still tempt you, and you never bring me around those friends. So I’m torn. I don’t even know what to feel.” She sighed, feeling frustrated with herself.

Turning around so her back was toward him, she leaned her elbows on the balcony and stared out at the city. She could feel herself filling with emotion, and everything was just threatening to pour out.

His hands wrapped around her waist, and she immediately stood straighter—she knew he was probably standing with a hunchback. He rested his head on her shoulder, and she sighed and touched his arms across her waist.

She could smell his cologne, although it was so subtle she knew he hadn’t resprayed since he left in the morning.

“I’m in love with you, baby,” he whispered in her ear, and her worries began to wash away.

Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back.

“I’ve never pressured you into giving me your virginity,” he said quietly. “And I respect it. Although you’re extremely hard to resist, I wouldn’t do anything you weren’t comfortable with.

“And if you do decide to give me your virginity, I won’t go running for the hills afterward. I won’t abandon you. I’ll know you trusted me with it and that I’m extremely blessed. If not, I get it. You want to wait for marriage.”

“So you’re not going to sleep with other women?” she asked in a small voice, displaying all her vulnerability.

He kissed her neck softly. “I’m not going to sleep with anyone else. You’re it for me, baby.”