"Two shots of tequila." I ordered to the bartender.
Benjamin was hovering behind me. My heightened senses could feel his nervousness. His reaction was understandable. During the years that we have been working together, our relationship has been strictly professional. It wasn't his fault that he didn't understand that he was more than an employee to me. I didn't directly display my affection or care towards him. For years, I had sheltered him. He did not know that his family had tried to destroy him further. I was so fond of the young man in front of me. The way his family treated him only made me empathise with him more.
"Coming right up mam'" He replied with a smirk on his face. He was attractive and, being part werewolf, we attracted humans easily. We were the honey, and they were flies. We were the predators of the world.
Benjamin stood behind me as I slung myself into one of the bar stools. I could feel his hesitation at joining me for a drink. He just received the promotion of a lifetime. I'm pretty sure he was worried that him getting drunk during office hours was going to get him fired. I sighed, "Take a seat Benjamin."
I gestured to the bar stool beside me. The bartender was dark and delicious. My tongue ran across the bottom of my lip. His brown hair was messy, but they styled it in a way that shouted "I just had sex". The rough stubble on his cheek demanded for him to rub his chiselled jaw between my thighs. Muscles stretched in his baby blue shirt, only making the colour of his eyes stand out. I licked lips once again and threw the shot back. The burning sensation flowed down my throat. All I could do was gulp it down like it was my last drink.
"Keep them coming, sweetness." I winked. "Drink up Benjamin." I turned to him as he took the seat next to me. His mouth was hanging open like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. I gestured to the shot in front of him, encouraging him to drink. He looked at me like I was some sort of Alien, but I raised my eyebrow as a challenge for him to do something other than stare at me and the drink in front of him. He quickly picked it up and chugged it down, his nose wrinkled and wiped his mouth. A small smirk came to my mouth.
"Miss Romano." Ben spoke.
"Loretta to you now." I interrupted.
"Loretta," I could hear how uncomfortable he was saying my name, but the truth was he just wasn't familiar with me being relaxed in his company. I knew I was an uptight bitch, but I needed to change that. He was one of a handful of people I trusted. I deserved to have a family. It didn't matter if they were blood related. "What's going on? You are never like this? I'm happy to see you let loose, but I never thought you would do it with me. And if we're going on a first name basis, you can call me Benji." He said with a smile.
That's the thing about Benjamin, I mean Benji. He's honest. Such a good man. "Benji." I twisted his name around my mouth. I liked his nickname. It suited him. They set another two shots in front of us. When I drink the glass up and slipped the fluid down. "Benji, do you know why I hired you?" I asked.
"Loretta, I know you felt sorry for me." He said solemnly. "You saved me that day. I never thought I would be where I am today." He gave me a small smile in response.
"I didn't feel sorry for you, Benji. I saw a kindred spirit. You reminded me of myself when I was younger." I explained as I looked at the ceiling. "We have somewhat similar backgrounds, both cast out by our families for something that we can't control. When you told me your story, I knew I couldn't let anything happen to you. I knew I would protect you." I replied, remembering the promise I made to myself when I met Benji all those years ago.
"You were just like me when I first met you, broken and alone. But-" I took his shot glass and finished his drink, knowing that my tolerance to alcohol was a lot higher than his. "- You had the fire in your eyes to fight. You wouldn't conform to what your family wanted just because they didn't accept you for who you are, who you love." I whispered. "Do you know you were always going to be my second in command when I saw you that day?"
He looked at me in shock and awe. "No, I didn't. I always thought that I would be your assistant, if I am honest." He laughed.
"No Benji, you were never meant to be just my assistant. I had you fill that position to build you back up. If you could survive being my assistant, you could survive anything." I snorted. "I wanted you to be stronger. You needed time to heal and I wanted to keep you close to protect you." I whispered with my eyes closed.
The bartender came with another two shots. I held my hand up to stop him from leaving. "Get me your finest scotch, the bottle. Add it to my tab." I gestured for him to leave. He didn't need to ask me if I could afford it. Everyone knew who I was in this bar. He nodded his head and scurried away. I took my final swig of the shot and gestured for him to do the same.
"Erg. What do you mean, protect me?" His voice was harsh from the hard liquor hitting the back of his throat.
"You told me about your parents trying to ruin your opportunities because you are gay right?" He nodded his head. "Well, your parents got wind of me hiring you. Your father contacted me." I smiled at the fond memory of the asshole who tried to belittle his son's achievements.
"He did what?" He shouted. The shock was apparent on his face. I chuckled at his response.
"Yes, he demanded a meeting. So I gave him one." I hummed. The bartender placed the bottle of whiskey and two glasses filled with ice. He popped the lid and poured two servings and left the bottle at the bar.
"What did he say?" I heard the heartbreak in his voice. No matter who you were, there was always this innate need that children wanted from their parents to be accepted, to be loved. Just like him, I felt the same pain. His family shunned him because he refused to marry a woman. Like I was outcaste because I refused to accept my sister and my mate's child and union.
"Are you sure you want to know?" I said as I swirled the scotch in front of me. Benji nodded his response. "He told me you are incompetent, that you had a mental disorder, that you would do nothing but harm my company. He demanded that I fire you instantly." I explained.
Benji looked at me and chuckled darkly. "Oh dear, he demanded you fire me?" I knew Benji was avoiding the painful words that I recalled his father using.
"Yes Benji, and do you know what I did? I laughed. I laughed so hard that I swear he went red in the face. You know how I feel about people demanding things of me." I mused. "It doesn't end well for them." My lips curved darkly staring at the dark amber fluid in my glass. "I told him he had no right to tell me who I can hire and told him it would be a shame if the world knew he saw homosexuality as a mental illness. I explained to him nicely that it wouldn't end well for him."
It was then that I heard Benji laugh so hard. I could see the lightness of what I said hit home. He knew what I was capable of and he knew his father wouldn't be safe from my wrath. His family may have been powerful, but he knew that if he started a war with me, he would lose. He understood my control and influence in the media. I would control the narrative of the poor sweet boy who shunned by his father for loving a man. I understood the culture in America. Though there were many right-wing activists, I didn't hesitate to take action against the discriminatory person who labeled homosexuality as an illness.
I looked at Benji when his laughter stopped. His eyes were looking at me and they welled with tears. "Why didn't you ever tell me what he did?" He sniffled.
"Because Benji I cared. I knew you loved your family no matter how much they hated you. I didn't want to take away your hope." The sigh escaped my lips. "However, I can no longer protect you from your father's hate. I don't want to lie to you because I have been where you are now. You have succeeded successfully without your family's support. I know you hope that will be enough for them to be proud of you, to accept you. Benji, I just can't see that hope wither away because we both know your father is far to set in ways to do that and I don't want you to hurt anymore." I took a big swig of scotch as I waited for Benji to speak.
Although there was silence between us, the low hum of voices in the bar filled the air. The clinking and clacking of glasses and bottles. I didn't want to hurt Benji anymore than what he was, but I wanted to be there for someone other than myself. I didn't want to hide my good intentions anymore. I did that before and it got me nowhere. I didn't want to hide in the shadows.
"Loretta," Benji's voice trembled. I could feel his pain. "Thank you. Thank you so much for being there for me. I did not know what you had done for me. All these years, I cared for you. You weren't just a boss, but you were like the sister I never had. I just wish you told me." He cried.
"Trust me, I know Benji." I grabbed him by his shoulders and pulled him in for a hug. A part of me wondered whether it was the alcohol or Jacob's recurrence in my life, but it was time to let go of some of those walls that I resurrected. It didn't make me weak because Benji had earned my love and loyalty. There was no way I would allow Benji's father to use Benji's love for his family to manipulate him against a woman who had bested him. He was worth more than some fake love from the family that had abandoned him.
"Loretta," he sniffled. "Why are you telling me this now?" He questioned with hesitation.
"Let's just say my past caught up with me today." I explained. He took a swig of his scotch and looked at me. As much as he knew me as well as anyone else. He knew nothing of my past and who I was.
He contemplated me and his eyes sparked as if a penny in a wishing well had dropped. "Jacob." He muttered. "Jacob is your past, isn't he? That's why you declined doing business with him? That's why you're getting drunk?"
I chuckled. "I knew you weren't just a pretty face."
"Was your past bad?" He asked. I could hear his voice laced with anger. His fist was clenching. Something welled my tears with tears, something that was increasing in the last few hours. Benji's gaze was soft. He knew I was sad, but he didn't realise that I was also happy. For the first time since Sarah, I had someone that cared about me. He would always have my back and fight by my side.
I sighed. "More than you can imagine, but for me to even start on that, I'm going to need a lot more scotch." I raised my glass and clinked it with his, finishing the warm amber liquid in my glass.
My only intentions were getting drunk enough to forget my name.
Edited 08/08/2023