Many pack members scurried out of the hall after the Elder's made their way to the Alpha's Office to deliberate. Although my chest felt at ease, the turmoil that ran through my mind wasn't any better. There were so many people at fault that I had no idea what the Elder's recommendations would be.
Benji shook me from my thoughts and I quickly shook my head in response. "You alright? You seemed to be in your own world." He asked with a sad smile.
"I'm fine honestly, I'm just glad everything is out in the open. Hopefully things will only get better for the pack now that all the secrets have been revealed." I sighed. "I'm gonna go for a walk, I wanna stretch my legs."
"Do you want some company?" Benji asked, I could hear the concern dripping in his voice.
"No it's fine. I need to be on my own for a bit. My emotions are all over the place. I just need some time. I'll see you in a bit." I replied as I gently squeezed his hand and got up from my chair and exited the hall.
There were small groups of people congregating outside the pack hall. The sun was shining in the sky and I could faintly hear the whispers and conversations from other pack members.
"I can't believe that was Louise. She's changed so much."
"That poor child, she's been through so much. How can a mother treat their pup like that."
"How could our Beta's and Alpha fail us? That was their daughter? How could they not even try to find the truth out?"
"Margaret's behaviour shocked me the most? Encouraging her daughter to steal her other daughter's mate? What kind of mother does that?"
Their whispered words rang out in my head, I could sense my wolf's interference. She wanted me to hear what they had to say, she wanted me to understand that I was not being blamed for something I had no control over. The problem with my wolf was that she didn't understand that I didn't want to feel their pity or sympathy. It made me feel pathetic.
I slowly made my way through the crowd's, not wanting anyone to speak to anyone. The last few hours had been nothing but painful, rehashing the pain that I felt all those years ago. I didn't realise how heavy the burden was and discussing it all in detail didn't make me feel any better. I mean it was good to get the truth out and for my reputation to be restored, but a huge part of me felt like it was too late. The damage the pack, my parents and my mate had caused was just too much and to only apologise eight years later, I just shook my head in disappointment.
I found myself standing by the river that was close to drying up. It was here that I met my sister's mate Xavier. He was a good wolf and my sister was truly lucky to have him. If she had accepted her fate she would have lived a good life. I perched my bottom on the edge and deeply exhaled trying to rid myself of the residue emotions that were overwhelming me.
There was no hope or future for me in this pack, even with my wolf howling and whimpering in the back of my mind to give them a chance, I just couldn't. Too much pain lingered in this pack for me to start again, the memories of being shunned by pack members, neglected and abused by my family, even the rejection. I couldn't stay here and be the Luna that they deserved, there was too much anger and too much resentment. The only thing I hoped to achieve was to help settle the war between the rouges run by Xavier and the pack.
The thumping of footsteps hitting the forest floor caused me to halt my thinking. I didn't dare turn in their direction, I could smell him before I even saw him. I had nothing to say to him. He let out a small cough letting me know he was there and all I could do was let out a dark chuckle.
"Yes John?" I responded.
He let out a sigh. "Even without looking you knew it was me?"
"You still have the same scent as you did when I was a teenager. Not a lot has changed, other than your position in the pack." I said with a shrug of my shoulders.
"May I please sit with you?" My father desperately asks.
"I have never been able to stop you doing what you wanted, so why start now?" I sarcastically replied.
My father uses his cane to support himself as he falls to the ground slowly, he lands on his knees and quickly shifts to his bottom, stretching his legs out. He huffs out a breath and then lets out a deep sigh.
"I knew I would find you here. I don't know if you know this but when we used to get into an argument or I would lose myself in my anger towards you, I would follow you here. I'd watch you from a far and watch you cry. You were such a little thing, all I would want to do is pull you into my arms and comfort you. But what right did I have when I was the one who caused your tears?" He said sadly.
I didn't know what to say, I had no idea he would follow me. He never let me know he cared about when me I was growing up. Everything was always about Leanne. I kept my lips pursed as I couldn't bring myself to speak. My heart ached for the father that I used to have when I was child but I was now an adult and no longer needed to seek protection from the father who had carelessly thrown away.
"You know when I look back, I have so many regrets and they all surround you. That night when your mother whipped you has haunted me for so many years. I never knew she could be so cruel. She is not the woman I thought she was, but then again I never thought I would be the man that would stand by and watch his daughter be beaten." He shook his head.
"No amount of apologies will make up for what I did to you. Whether I was manipulated or not, I should have spoken to you, I should have looked into the rumours or stopped them. Not just as a Beta but as your father. I am so sorry for what I did and what your mother did." He cries.
"Don't apologise for mother. She made her decision. I knew she hated me but I didn't realise it was to this extent." I said with a shake of my head.
"Your mother, I don't even know where to start. If you believe anything I say, know that I had no idea what she was telling Leanne to do. I had no idea she knew the truth before the day of my grandson's death. I didn't realise what she had done to this extent." He cries further as he wipes his eyes with his shaking fingers.
"Why are you crying?" I murmured quietly as I twiddled my fingers looking down onto my lap.
"Because I failed you as a father. I failed as a mate. My wolf is heartbroken by the actions of your mother, she not only betrayed you but she betrayed me as well. She should have spoken up, whereas I should have looked into the rumours."
"Why didn't you?" I ask.
"Would you believe me if I said I was scared? Everyone was adamant by your actions that I didn't want to investigate and find them to be true. I was scared you would have been banished or killed. I had no idea that it was Leanne. I had no idea your mother had let her get away with so much. If I knew they weren't you I would have intervened. I'm not blaming your mother for everything because I was equally responsible. But your mother should have come to me when she found out the truth." He says as he shakes his head.
There is a heavy silence that blankets both me and my father. There is nothing that I disagree with, he is right in that he was deceived but he could have looked into the rumours himself. It wouldn't have taken a lot for him to find out the truth, even Jacob could have commanded Leanne years ago to reveal the truth but they all preferred to act as if nothing had had happened.
"I won't get involved in your matters Louise but I want you to know that the last eight years haven't been easy for me and especially for Jacob. He looked for you even when he was with Leanne. He couldn't let you go. At the time I had no idea why he was so bothered by your lack of presence in the pack but when my grandson died it all became clear." He sighs deeply. "I may be selfish hoping that you would stay, maybe even give your mate a chance, but truthfully none of us deserve your forgiveness. None of us deserves a second chance."
He lets out a low and deep chuckle. "Maybe that's the goddess' punishment for me, to forever live with the guilt and pain of never holding you. My punishment is to live with the regret of never being your father." He wipes his eyes as the tears roll down his face.
"You never needed a father or mother. You turned out to be a beautiful and good woman. It may not mean much but I am so proud of who you have become. I am proud of who you are and have been and it is my fault I never noticed what a diamond you were. I love you Louise" My father finishes.
I close my eyes and the tears drop down my cheeks. I hear the words that I had desperately wanted to hear escape my father's lips. He's proud of who I am, he loves me. The warmth spreads through my chest, I look at my father with the tears that are welled in the corner of my eyes and I sob hysterically. For the first time in life I let go of my mask and facade and chuck myself in my father's arms, wanting to be selfish and feel the love that I missed as a child.
My father quickly wraps his arms around me, they tightly hold me as I sob into his chest. His fingers run through my hair and up and down my back. I feel him relax into the small act of intimacy between a father and his daughter. I can't even remember the last time he held me like this but I hear him whisper into my hair that he's sorry. I feel the drops of his tears run down my scalp. It's then that unexpected words leave my lips in a whisper...
"I forgive you."