"Finally, it's over!"
I stretched my arms and shouted at the top of my lungs the moment I stepped onto the rooftop.
Our finals are finally behind us. All projects and papers have been submitted, and the professors have signed all the necessary permits. Now, all I have to do is wait for my grades while I pack my things. I'm heading home to Thailand for a short vacation.
"Want to hang out somewhere, Phu?" Beer asked.
"No, I need to pack."
"But your flight isn't until tomorrow. I can help you later."
"Okay."
I didn't have much to pack since my school things were already organized. It felt nice to consider going out after finishing our exams.
"Just us?" I asked as we left campus.
"Yeah. Why? Do you want to invite someone?"
"As if I have a lot of friends. I'm not like you."
Beer chuckled. "Just us. My other friends are still busy with their schoolwork."
"Okay."
I knew Beer was making excuses. I overheard his friends talking in the bathroom yesterday; they were all done and planning an outing. It was just up to Beer to decide when.
Since the bullying incident, he's been careful about hanging out with his friends. He avoids inviting them when it's just the two of us, always finding reasons to keep it that way.
I had met some of his friends, and they seemed nice. They were genuinely sorry for what happened to me and even offered to help if I faced any more bullying. I felt comfortable around them, but Beer kept his distance to them when I was with him.
We decided to go to an amusement park, letting our inner children take charge since we couldn't agree on a destination.
We both bought all-ride tickets and laughed when we realized we weren't brave enough for the extreme rides. The park was filled with them.
"So, where should we go first?" Beer asked, trying not to laugh.
I shook my head. With all the screams coming from the rides, I was unsure where to start. Those cries both scared and excited me.
"Let's let our feet decide," Beer suggested, pulling me along.
Once we did that, we acted on impulse.
After three extreme rides, we finally took a break.
"I don't think I can eat right now." We sat on a bench after our third roller coaster ride. Honestly, my knees were shaking, and my stomach didn't feel great.
"Same here. Let's just rest," Beer replied, shaking his head.
Silence surrounded us as we watched people getting on the roller coaster we had just ridden.My mind was blank from all the rides; I felt too exhausted to talk and a bit dizzy.
"Can you not go back to Thailand, Phu?" Beer suddenly asked.
I turned to him, surprised by the intensity of his gaze.
"Why? Are you going to miss me?" I joked.
"Yeah."
"Separation anxiety?"
"Nah."
I smiled at Beer's randomness.
"I'm scared," he said seriously.
"Scared of what?"
"Scared that you won't come back because of someone."
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
"I told you, Phu. You can lie to anyone, even yourself, but not to me."
"Beer, what are you saying?" I disliked how confusing his randomness could be. I don't lie to myself.
"I like Pond. You keep denying it to me since we first met. You know you're lying to yourself, Phu."
So, this was about my feelings for Pond.
"Oh, that? I've never lied to myself about it, Beer. I just didn't want to discuss it. I've accepted that Pond is with my twin now, and I'm okay with it."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I admit I liked Pond. I loved him, to be honest. But I've moved on."
"Sure?"
"Absolutely."
"I can't see it, Phu."
"What do you mean?"
"You still like him. You say you don't, but once you see him again in Thailand, you'll realize your feelings are still there."
"Impossible. I know myself, Beer."
Honestly, I was unsure of my feelings. That's why I wanted to go homeâto see if my feelings for Pond were really gone. I wanted to live in the US without any guilt.
"But your heart and feelings? I mean, you know yourself but not your heart and your feelings. That's what I'm worried about."
"I don't understand."
"I like you, Phu."
"Huh?" What was Beer saying?
"I like you. In a romantic way. I want to pursue you, but you like Pond."
"Since when, Beer?"
How did I not notice? He was always around. Or maybe I just saw him as a friend.
"Since the day we met. Since I first laid eyes on you."
I was speechless. I hadn't realized it had been that long.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because of Pond and your feelings for him."
I felt silent again.
"Now, I'm scared this will be our last meeting. I have a gut feeling you won't come back, or if you do, I won't be able to pursue you."
"I'll come back." I didn't see a reason not to. Plus, I wouldn't pass up this opportunity because of my feelings.
"But when you return, you might be taken."
"By who?"
"Pond."
"Are you crazy, Beer? Pond is my twin's boyfriend. I don't like him anymore. I don't love him."
"You know what I like about you, Phu? It's your innocence and naivety."
"What do you mean?"
"You're too naive about things around you. You didn't notice my feelings or how Pond feels about you."
"Sorry for not noticing your advances. You're my friend, and I saw everything as friendly. As for Pond, he's my twin's boyfriend. Of course, he cares about me as his boyfriend's twin."
Beer shook his head. "You're too naive, seriously."
"I'm not. You're overthinking it."
"Fine. I don't want to argue. But can't you stay in the US? You could live with us."
"I miss my parents, Beer. I want to see them. It's just for a month."
"Too much can happen in a month, Phu."
"Yeah."
"Can I be your boyfriend, Phu?"
"Aren't you moving too fast, Beer?"
Is he trying to rush things?
"I just want you to be mine before you leave tomorrow."
I shook my head. "You're moving too fast. Let me think about it. Plus, I hate long-distance relationships."
"Okay."
"Can you wait?""Of course. I can wait as long as it's you. Even without assurance, I'm willing to wait."