I lean into his kiss, closing my eyes and resting my hand on his shoulder, mirroring his intensity and passion as we share the moment.
My mind is clear, and I fully understand what's happening between us. I know it's wrong, but I push those thoughts aside. I savor his kiss, allowing myself to be selfish just this once. I'll deal with the consequences later.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, my emotions overwhelming me. I know I'm going to hurt Gem, and that's why I'm crying.
I understand that this is wrong, yet I chose to go through with it anyway. I can't shake the thought of the pain I'll cause Gem, but I push it deep down. All I want is a moment of happiness. I crave the warmth of Pond's embrace and the sweetness of his kiss. It's a mistake, but as they say, sometimes the wrong choices bring the greatest pleasure. In this fleeting moment, I surrender to the thrill, ignoring the consequences that will follow.
I just wanted to love and find a moment of happiness, even if it was fleeting. It's almost comical how my mind keeps echoing words that seem pulled from a storybook.
As Pond pulled away, we both gasped for air, our breaths mingling in the charged silence. He rested his forehead against mine, searching for his own breath.
Tears fell freely from my eyes. I cried hard, but I made sure that only the two of us were aware of my pain.
Could time please stand still? Is there a way to pause this moment forever?
"Stop crying, Phu," Pond whispered, wrapping me in his arms. He stroked my back gently, trying to calm me, but the tenderness only made the tears flow harder. I felt so conflictedâlost in the comfort of his embrace while grappling with the weight of my emotions.
I buried my face in his shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably. The pain felt unbearable. Why did it have to be Pond? Why did it have to be my twin brother? What kind of twisted joke is this? What kind of chaos have I found myself in?
Is this really how my first love story is destined to unfold? Is this how the narrative of my second conflict with Gem is meant to play out? If that's the case, can we please just skip to the end? I can't bear the thought of living through this turmoil any longer.
"Please stop crying, Phuwin. Calm down so that we can talk properly."
I shook my head, pulling away from his embrace to look straight into his eyes.
"Can I be selfish today, Pond?" My voice cracked with emotion.
"You can always be selfish, Phuwin. I don't mind."
"Will it make me a bad person if I tell you to choose me instead?"
"What do you mean?" Pond wiped away my tears.
"Can it just be me? Can you choose me over my brother? Will you leave him for me?"
I closed my eyes, gripping his shoulder tightly. I felt a deep sense of pity for myself, realising I was begging himâsomething I shouldn't be doing.
"What are you talking about? Why do I need to choose?"
His words hit me like a bucket of ice water, freezing me in place.
Yeah, why should he have to choose when he had already chosen my twin? He had already chosen Gem.
A bitter laugh escaped me. I wiped away my tears and managed a sad smile, feeling the weight of reality settle in.
"Thanks for your answer Pond."
"Seriously, Phuwin, what's going on in your head? Where are all these thoughts coming from?"
"There's no imagination in this situation, Pond. I fell in love, and you're the one I love. But you want someone else. It hurts because the person I want is my twin brother. I'm sorry for begging you. I'm sorry for asking you to choose me. I know it's selfish. Just forget I said anything."
I turned away, trying to gather my composure, but he suddenly wrapped his arms around me from behind.
"Phuwin, I don't know where you got these ideas. I can't grasp how you've come to that conclusion, but I want to say I'm sorry."
"There's no need for that, Pond. I get it," I replied, trying to suppress the turmoil inside me. "It's just... complicated."
"Just listen to me for a moment, Phu. I let you speak earlier; now it's my turn to explain everything." He gently turned me to face him.
What else is there to clarify? What he said before was already clear.
"Stop imagining things, Phuwin. Stop hurting yourself over things that aren't true. I'm sorry for not being clearer with you. I promised your parents that I would wait until we graduated. I told them I would court you afterward. But Gem sensed something was wrong, so I got their permission to pursue you now."
"What do you mean?"
Wait, am I really hearing this? My heart raced as I tried to process his words.
"I don't need to choose, Phu, because I chose you a long time ago. Since third year high school, you've owned my heart. I'm sorry for not being clear and for making you jump to conclusions I don't know where you based them on."
I was flabbergasted, staring at Pond as I processed everything he had just said.
He wiped my tears and smiled softly at me. "My baby loves jumping to conclusions, making me nervous with that expression. But it's okay; you're cute, and you'll always be cute in my eyes."
"Wait." I pushed his hand away from my face, trying to regain my composure. He chuckled and looked straight into my eyes.
"What?"
"You and Gem?"
"Me and Gem are best friends."
"You're not lovers?"
"No! That's never going to happen. Your twin is in love with someone else, and that stupid guy is still in denial about his feelings."
"No way. You two are so close and sweet."
"He's my best friend, that's why we're close. Gem is very clingy, to be honest."
"But..."
"You jumped to conclusions without clarifying things, Phu."
I closed my eyes and massaged my temples with my left hand as everything began to sink in.
"So... you and Gem are not lovers?" I asked, unable to meet Pond's gaze.
"No, and it will never be. But he'll be my brother-in-law soon."
"Holly shit!"
I turned away from Pond, pouting. Realizing I had cried and suffered for nothing made me feel embarrassed. Can I have my tears back? This is... arrrgggggh!
"My baby shouldn't curse or say bad words, Phu." Pond hugged me from behind and kissed my shoulder blade.
"Who is your baby?" I tried not to smile. Not the "baby" word! Pond, I'm not your strongest soldierânot right now.
"My baby's name is Phuwin, and that's you."
I shut my eyes tightly, pursing my lips to suppress a smile.
"Look at me, baby." He turned me around and cupped my face with his large hands. "I love you, and it will always be you. Stop thinking about things that hurt you. You don't need to ask me to choose because it's always you. My choice will always be you."
I pouted again, feeling completely embarrassed. Can the earth just swallow me whole?"Sorry." I said and dashed into the house, ignoring Pond's calls behind me. I couldn't face him. The realization of my silly mistakes made me want to disappear.
"Looks like the clouds have cleared from the sky," Gem said as soon as I entered the house, grinning from ear to ear, ready to tease me. I glanced at my mom, who was also smiling.This is so embarrassing.
I ignored them and ran to my room, slamming the door behind me. I curled up in bed and pulled the blanket over myself.
I didn't want to face anyoneânot now.