PHUWIN POV
Hokkaido, Japan
My dream destination since childhood.
I took a deep breath, letting the cold air fill my lungs, as I soaked my eyes in the vast, snow-covered landscape around me. The city, the fields, and even the sea were all blanketed in whiteâit was officially winter here.
We were staying at one of the hotels owned by Pond's family in Rumoi. Our room was the penthouse at the top of the building, a cozy and luxurious space arranged for us by Pond's parents to ensure we had a peaceful vacation. Or, more accurately, a brief escape from reality for me.
"Do you want to eat first, or should we rest a bit?" Pond asked, wrapping his arms around me from behind. He had just finished talking to the staff who had helped us settle into the penthouse.
"I'm fine." I replied simply. "I just want to hug you." I turned to face him and wrapped my arms around him, needing the comfort.
"Are you okay?" he asked gently, his voice full of concern.
"Not really," I admitted, my voice quiet. "I suddenly feel empty."
I've always dreamed of coming to Japan, in Hokkaido particualry. While I was in the US, I made plans on how I'd save up to bring my parents here. I thought about how I'd convince Gemini to travel to Japan first, before Iceland, the country he's always dreamed of visiting. Sadly, those plans will remain just thatâdreams. Papa is gone, my mother is in jail. Gemini was brought to Iceland by Fourth to enjoy the place, and here I am in Japan with Pond.
We're all so far apart now. In different places. It's something I never imagined would happen.
All of my dreams have crumbled. My family is broken. Papa is gone, and I'm still not ready to forgive Mama. Gemini and I are both healing, but we're doing it separately, with the people who are willing to understand and support us.
"It's okay. I'm here." Pond gently kissed the top of my head, his presence soothing.
"Is Gem okay?" I asked, burying my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his familiar scent.
"When I called Fourth last night before bed, he said Gem still isn't talking much. He prefers being alone and often seems distant. But other than that, there's no real problem. Gem is eating and sleeping well, it's just... hard for him to open up."
"I feel so bad for my brother, love," I whispered, the weight of the pain in my chest is getting heavy again.
"You'll get through it, baby. Gem just needs time to adjust and heal. After all, he's the one who knows everything. Both of you need time. Let time heal both of your wounds."
"I'm worried about Gem."
"Fourth is with him."
"Love, why did it have to be us?"
"I can't answer that question, baby. Don't overthink everything that's happened. We can't turn back time or change what's already been done. Dwelling on it will only stress you out. Papa wouldn't want that for you."
"And what about Mama? Doesn't she care that Gem and I are like this?"
"I don't know. All I know is that I don't want to see you hurt or sad. It might be a hard and selfish wish on my part, but please, just stop thinking about it, okay? Can you do that for me, baby?"
"I'll try."
"Thank you."
"Love, I'm hungry."
Pond chuckled before he kiss me on my head.
"Sure. What do you want?"
"Anything."
"Okay. I'll call the reception."
I nodded and let him go. I watched his broad back as he walked over to the intercom.
I honestly don't know what I would do without Pond. With everything that has happened in our life, Pond has been my pillar. He and his family have been with us through it all. They've supported us, became our shoulder to cry on, and the strong wall we could always lean on. They've protected us in every way they could. They treated us like their own. Even Fourth's family didn't abandon Gem. Dunk's family, too. His father fought for us in court against our mother, and stood by us throughout the whole ordeal.
We owe them so much. I can't even begin to imagine how my brother and I would have survived without them. Who would we turn to? Where would we find strength? I'll forever be grateful to them.
I can't say that I'm okay just yet, but I'm slowly making my way there. Little by little, I'm accepting everything that's happened. Pond is right. I can't go back and change the past, no matter how much I wish I could, and I can't fix it all to make the present better.
What hurts me the most is Gem. After we buried Papa, I couldn't talk to him properly anymore. He would only answer me with one-word responses. If we ever spoke, it was always because of something related to Mom's case. Other than that, there was nothing. I caught him crying alone several times. I wanted to reach out to him, but Fourth and Pond held me back. Fourth said I should give him space. The more we ask him if he's okay, the more he'll bottle everything up. It's like he's hiding his emotions even more, and that could lead to something worse. Gem needs to deal with his emotions on his own, for now. We just have to let him be.
But it's been a month already, and I know the wound inside Gem is far deeper than mine. He's dealt with everything alone, hiding everything from me just to protect me. His pain runs deeper than mine. I don't know how it will heal.
During his graduation, my heart almost shattered. He's the eldest of the two of us. He graduated with honorsâmagna cum laude, no less. He should've had our parents beside him, walking up to the stage to receive his awards, but they weren't there. Instead, Fourth's parents stood in as Gem's guardians during the ceremony. I was there too, walking up with him, and it was me and Fourth's parents who stood by his side when he was handed his medals.
It broke me to see how alone he was in that moment, even though we were all there for him. I can't even imagine how much it hurt him to be in that positionâachieving something so great, but not having the people who should've been there.
Graduation is supposed to be one of the happiest moments in every student's life, but for Gem, even though he never said it, I could feel that it was one of the saddest moments of his life. I could see it in his eyes. No matter how much he smiled or how wide he tried to grin, the sadness was evident in his gaze.
And now he's in Iceland with Fourth, in his dream place. It's one of Pond's parents' gifts to him. It's a two weeks vacation and they leave two days ahead of us. I just hope that by the time he comes back, he'll be okay. I want my twin back. I know we're in a difficult situation right now, but I still hope that when he returns from Iceland, I'll see the Gem we used to know. I won't wish for his full recovery, because I know it's not that simple, but I hope for some progress. I just want to see his smile again. I want to talk to him. There's so much I want to knowâone of which is about him and Fourth. I want to hear everything straight from him. I want us to catch up on the two years of our lives that we missed. I want him to share everything with me, just like before, when everything in our family was still okay.
I let out a deep sigh and looked up at the vast, white landscape once again. Life is truly unpredictable. It feels like just yesterday, my family was happy and whole, but now, it's all gone. Mom is in jail, and Papa is gone forever. I'm here in Hokkaido, while my twin is all the way in Iceland. What used to be a united family is now broken and distant. What used to be happiness, has turned into sorrow. Fate really has a way of playing cruel tricks. A game where, no matter what moves you make, you're still destined to lose in the end. It's a game where everyone's on the losing side, and you can do nothing about it.
"Stop thinking, baby."
I smiled as Pond kissed my nape. This giant man of mine never fails to kiss me there, even though he knows how sensitive I am to the slightest touch.
"I can punch you Pond right now if you don't stop." I warned him.
"Is your neck still not used to it? I keep on kissing it since the day you became mine."
I blushed. Yes, he always kisses my neck. It's his favorite spot, but I'm still not used to it. Or maybe I am used to it already, it's just that, his kisses on my sensitive spot always turning me on.
"Stop it Pond." I turned around and look at him seriously. He immediately raised his hand as if someone point a gun on him to robbed him of something.
"Fine. I'm just hungry." He pouted his lips. He looks like a cute giant golden retriever puppy acting cute in front of me.
"Wait for the food then."
"I'm hungry of you."
"Ai POND!"
Pond and him being straight to the point always caught me off guard.
"I'm being honest. All I can do is cuddle you. I mean, I can make love with you. I don't want to take advantage of you."
Oh my goodness. Can I sew his mouth? I'm seriously blushing.
"Can I have a reward tonight baby?"
I just shook my head and chuckled. The way he looked at me. How can I say no to him?
I grabbed his neck and kiss him without saying anything. Maybe an appetizer for his reward later.
"That's it for now. I am hungry, love. I want to eat real food, but you can eat me later."