âI came to talk to you.â
âAbout what?â he asks, and I sit in the large leather chair behind the hideously expensive oak desk.
âTessa, what else?â I roll my eyes at him.
âShe told me you asked her out alreadyâlooks like you really gave her some space.â
âWhat did she say?â I question.
âIâm not going to tell you what she says.â He slides a piece of paper into the fax machine.
âWhat are you doing, anyway?â I ask him.
âFaxing my transcripts to NYU. Iâm going there next semester.â
Next semester? What the fuck? âWhy so soon?â
âBecause I donât want to waste any more time here when I could be with Dakota.â
âDoes Tessa know?â I know this will hurt her. Heâs her only real friend. I find myself sort of reluctant for him to go . . . sort of.
âYeah, of course she knows, she was the first person I told.â
âAnyway, I need some help with this date shit.â
âDate shit?â He smiles. âHow nice.â
âAre you going to help me or not?â
âI guess.â He shrugs.
âWhere is she, anyway?â I ask him. I had walked past the room sheâs been staying in, but the door was closed and I didnât want to knock. Well, I wanted to knock, but Iâm trying my hardest to give her space. If her car hadnât been in the driveway, Iâd be freaking the fuck out, but I know sheâs here. Well, I sure fucking hope so.
âI donât know; sheâs with that Zed guy, I think,â Landon says and my heart drops. I jump up to my feet in seconds.
âJoking! Iâm joking. Sheâs in the greenhouse with my mum,â Landon says, looking at me with playful scorn.
I donât care, though, Iâm just relieved to know that my paranoid thoughts were getting the best of me. âThatâs not funny. Youâre a dick,â I spit, and he chuckles. âNow youâre definitely helping me,â I tell him.
AFTER LANDON GIVES ME some advice, he calls it a day and escorts me to the front door. On the way, I ask, âHas she been driving herself to Vance?â
âYeah, she missed a few days when she was . . . well, you already know.â
âHmm . . .â I lower my voice as we walk past the room thatâs Tessaâs for now. I donât want to think of how I hurt her, not right now. âDo you think sheâs in there?â I ask quietly.
He shrugs. âI donât know; probably.â
âI should just . . .â I turn the doorknob, and it opens with a small creak. Landon shoots me a glare, but I ignore him as I peer inside.
Sheâs lying on the bed with papers and textbooks scattered all around her. Her jeans are still on along with a sweatshirt; she mustâve been really exhausted to have fallen asleep while she was studying.
âAre you done being a creep now?â Landon hisses in my ear.
I flip the light switch off and step out of the doorway, pulling the door closed behind me. âIâm not being a creep. I love her, okay?â
âI know, but you clearly donât understand the concept of giving her some space.â
âI canât help it. Iâm so used to being with her and Iâve been through hell the last nearly two weeks without her. Itâs hard for me to stay away from her.â
We walk down the stairs in silence, and I hope I didnât sound too desperate. Then again, itâs only Landon, so I donât really give a fuck anyway.
I HATE GOING to the apartment now that Tessa isnât there. For a second I consider calling Logan and going by the frat house, but deep down I know thatâs a bad idea. I donât want any problems to occur, and they always do. I just really donât want to go back to that empty apartment.
I do anyway. Iâm so damn tired. I havenât slept properly in ages, it seems.
As I lie down in our bed I try to envision her arms around my waist and her head on my chest. Itâs hard to imagine spending my life this way. If I never get to hold her again, if I never get to feel the warmth of her body next to mine . . . I have to do something. I have to do something different, something that will show her and show myself that I can do this.
I can change. I have to, and I fucking will.
Chapter one hundred and one
TESSA
By the time I take a shower and dry my hair, itâs already six and the sky is long since dark. I knock on Landonâs bedroom door, but thereâs no answer. I donât see his car in the driveway, but heâs been parking in the garage lately, so he may still be here.
I have no idea what to wear because I donât know where weâre going. I canât stop looking out the window, waiting anxiously for Hardinâs car to appear in the driveway. When the bright flash of headlights finally does appear, my stomach turns.
Most of my anxiety is dissolved when Hardin steps out of the car in the black button-up shirt he wore to the dinner party. Is he wearing dress pants? Oh my God, he is. And dress shoes, shiny black dress shoes. Wow. Hardin dressed up? I feel underdressed, but the way heâs looking at me dissolves my unease.
He really is going all out for this. He looks so handsome, and he even styled his hair. Itâs pushed back, and I can tell he used something to keep it that way, because it doesnât fall down onto his forehead as he walks, the way it usually does.
He flushes. âErm . . . hi?â
âHi.â I canât stop staring at him. Wait . . . âWhere are your piercings?â The metal rings are gone from his eyebrow and lip.