âOf course you can, you donât have to ask.â She turns around with a smile.
Her smile is a true testament to her character; she must think Iâm an asshole, but she still smiles and welcomes me to stay for dinner.
BY DINNERTIME Iâm going fucking crazy. Iâm fidgeting in my seat, looking out the window every few seconds, about to call her a thousand times until she answers. Fucking crazy.
My father is talking to Landon about the upcoming baseball season and I really wish both of them would shut the fuck up.
Where the hell is she?
I pull my phone out to finally text her as I hear the front door open. Iâm on my feet before I realize it and everyone looks up at me.
âWhat?â I snap and head to the living room.
Relief washes over me when she practically stumbles in with books and what looks like a poster board in her hands.
As soon as she sees me, the objects begin to topple to the floor. I rush over to help her pick them up.
âThanks.â She takes the books from my hands and starts to walk up the staircase.
âWhere are you going?â I ask her.
âTo put my stuff away . . .â She turns to answer but then turns back around.
I would normally start cussing at her, but Iâm hoping to find out whatâs wrong with her without yelling, for once. âAre you going to eat dinner?â I call after her.
âYeah,â she answers simply, without turning around.
I bite my tongue and head back to the dining room.
âSheâll be down in a minute,â I say, and I swear I catch Karen smiling, but it disappears when I look at her.
Minutes feel like hours before Tessa finally takes a seat next to me at the table. Hopefully her sitting next to me is a good sign.
A few minutes later, I realize itâs not a good sign, since she hasnât spoken to me once and sheâs barely eating the food on her plate.
âI got all my paperwork squared away for NYU. I still canât believe it,â Landon says, and his mum smiles with pride.
âYou wonât be getting the family rate,â my father jokes, but only his wife actually laughs.
Tessa and Landonâboth being the polite suck-ups they areâsmile and attempt fake laughs, but I know better.
Once my father brings the conversation back to sports, I find my opening to talk to Tessa. âI saw that cake . . . I didnât know . . .â I begin to whisper.
âDonât. Not right now, please.â She frowns and gestures to the other people in the room.
âAfter dinner?â I ask and she nods.
It drives me insane as she picks at her food; I really just want to shove her forkful of potatoes into her mouth. This is why we have issues, because I daydream about force-feeding her. The dining room is filled with my father trying to bring us all together through small talk and shitty attempts at jokes. I ignore him the best I can and finish my dinner.
âIt was really good, honey,â my father praises Karen as she begins to clean up the table. He looks at Tessa, then back at his wife. âWhen youâre done with that, why donât I take you and Landon out to Dairy Queen. Havenât been there in a while . . .â
Karen nods with false enthusiasm, and Landon pops up to help her.
âCan we talk, please?â Tessa surprises me by asking when she stands up.
âYeah, of course.â I follow her upstairs and into the room sheâs been staying in.
I canât tell if sheâs going to scream at me or cry when she closes the door behind me.
âI saw the cake . . .â I decide to speak first.
âDid you?â She sounds almost uninterested and she takes a seat on the edge of the bed.
âYeah . . . it was . . . nice of you.â
âYeah . . .â
âIâm sorry for going to the party instead of asking you to spend time with me.â
She closes her eyes for a few seconds and takes a deep breath before opening them again. âOkay,â she says in a monotone voice.
The way sheâs staring out the window with no emotion on her face gives me the chills. She looks as if someone has sucked the life out of her . . .
Someone has.
Me.
âI really am sorry. I didnât think you wanted to see me; you said you were busy.â
âHow could you think that? I waited for you as âIâll be there in thirty minutesâ turned into two hours.â She still sounds so emotionless, and the hair on the back of my neck is standing up from it.
âWhat are you talking about?â
âYou said you said youâd be here, and you werenât. Simple as that.â I really wish sheâd scream at me.
âI didnât say Iâd be here. I asked you if you wanted to come to the party and then I even texted and called you last night, but you didnât answer to either.â
âWow. You mustâve been really drunk,â she says slowly, and I move to stand in front of her.
Even though Iâm right here, she doesnât look at me. She stares off into space, and itâs really unsettling. Iâm used to her fire, to her stubbornness, to her tears . . . but Iâm not used to this.
âWhat do you mean? I called youââ
âYeah, at midnight.â
âI know Iâm not as smart as you, but Iâm really fucking confused right now,â I tell her.
âWhy did you change your mind? What made you not come?â she asks.
âI didnât know I was supposed to be here. I texted you and said âhey,â but you never responded.â
âYes, I did, so did you. You said you werenât having fun and you asked if you could come over.â